"It is not until you become a mother

that your judgment slowly turns to

compassion and understanding."

- Erma Bombeck -

The image of himself, drawn on heavyweight paper and shaded just right, had stuck with Lucas all the way through his treatment that evening. It kept him silent even when his stomach lurched with the chemo flooding his veins. It kept him silent as Kristin wiped the sweat from his forehead and he felt the tingle rise from his toes to his ankles.

It kept him quiet when Kristin chased Nathan from the room, saying something about how ill the man still was.

And the lack of avid complaining and mumbling worried Kristin more than she wanted to admit. She was used to Lucas' whining and used it as a gauge of how well he was feeling, if the chemotherapy was doing its job, and how his mind was. Without it she was blind to how Lucas was feeling. It was unnerving and she started asking questions, trying to get Lucas to say something more than a one word answer.

Eventually he responded and he told her, "Wendy drew me." He held his pound puppy tighter and looked up at her from his side. Lucas was sure that Kristin didn't understand what significance it had; he sighed and wished he wouldn't have to explain it to her though he knew he would have to.

"Did she?" Kristin asked, relieved that he'd finally spoken.

Lucas petted Ralph with one hand for a moment, then started to tell her why he was so caught up in the image. He told her how perfect it was, how Wendy had caught the lank of his body and the weakness he felt in his bones. He told her how the smudging of the charcoal had been enough to show the thinness of his skin and the bags under his eyes. He stopped at the eyes.

It made him close his own. Lucas continued without opening them, "I don't draw any faces. They... hurt to do." He curled up a little and glanced up at Kristin with tear on one cheek, "It was like looking in a mirror and I didn't like it."

"Oh, Lucas," She murmured. Kristin laid a hand on his shoulder at that, rubbing the skin beneath her fingers gently.

"I think I'm mad at Papi, but I can't just tell him." Lucas looked away and then back at the woman. "I don't want him to think I don't want him around."

She made an understanding noise and nodded, saying nothing. Kristin knew that Lucas had to work through that on his own and nothing she told him would fix it; she would have to let the boy get hurt if it would make things better. It didn't mean she liked it though.

The silence grew again and Kristin could see the nausea building up in him – the turn of his head, his face growing pale, Lucas' hand on his stomach stroking as if it could help. She asked him about other things, trying to draw his mind away from that which was bothering him, but it was back to square one.

Kristin still kept asking questions. She asked about Nathan and Ben and all his friends on the internex, then finally asked about the stuffed dog. "Why did you name your puppy Ralph?"

Lucas smirked a little at that because he knew Kristin wouldn't find it as funny as he and Cynthia had. He shrugged and told her, "The letter with it said that if you got overbearing I should ralph on your shoes."

"That girl..." Kristin sighed. Only her daughter would think of such a thing. "Did you tell your father that?" She asked next, wondering if Nathan had known about it and not told her or if he just hadn't questioned it.

"No," he gasped out as the tingling in his ankles crept up his legs and turned to burning. He bit down on his lip to keep from screaming, the pain intense for a moment and then subsiding down to something more manageable.

"Lucas?" Kristin watched him, her eyes wide with alarm. She reached for his hand, flinching when Lucas cried out, then turned to the door and called for Abbott or Jessie. "Lucas," she said, hoping to get him to respond to her but he was curled up and focusing on the pain radiating through his extremities.

Abbott appeared just as she reached for Lucas' hands again. "Don't!" he barked, and, once she'd backed away, explained, "This is neuropathy. Jessie!"

Labcoat flapping as she moved and her ponytail whipping to the sides, Jessie passed the room with only a glance; she yelled to Abbott, asking her own series of questions until she returned with meds and Lucas took them without complaint, swallowing great gulps of water to ease the pills into his stomach.

Kristin watched the two oncologists move, her heart heavy. She should have understood what was going on, seen the way his body had tensed and gotten him the Neurontin that eased the pain. But her brain had froze and only one instinct had remained – comfort your child.

"Kristin?" Jessie called her softly. "Are you alright?"

Her eyes snapped to the younger woman's and Kristin told her, "Call Nathan. Have him come stay with Lucas, will you?" She backed out of the room then, so wrapped up in her thoughts that she never heard Lucas ask her to stay.

"It's alright, pal," Abbott offered. "She's just a little confused. It's not everyday that we treat our own family members." He patted Ralph's head and told Lucas, "She'll be back, I promise. Sometimes the realization comes on that it's time to take a step back from something and it's hard to deal with."

"I want her here," Lucas shook his head. He didn't care what was wrong. Lucas wanted Kristin and she wasn't there; he looked up at Abbott sadly. He decided that if he couldn't have Westphalen, then he wanted his father and he asked, "Where's the Captain?"

"He's on his way down." Jessie sighed and looked out into the hallway. She'd known Kristin had been gradually getting more protective of her new son, but Kristin hadn't given any signs that it was causing an inability to separate Lucas' care from his status as her child. It was the only reason she and Abbott hadn't barred Kristin from the boy. Now it seemed she'd reached the end of her rope.

Lucas was appeased with the knowledge that he'd have someone with him, but it still made Abbott upset. He'd never have left either of his children alone in the hospital; even when his own son had admitted to him in the ER that he'd been beaten for being gay, he'd never left the boy alone despite having divergent beliefs Abbott had since changed. He didn't understand how Kristin could leave before Nathan had gotten there.

Both doctors stayed with him until Nathan arrived not long later, waiting until Lucas had finally fallen to sleep to tell him what had happened. He didn't appear too happy with what happened and when he finally spoke, it was clear he wanted to go talk to Kristin but he didn't move from his spot beside Lucas' bed.

Jessie went in his place.

She knocked on the hatch door before she entered, finding Kristin sitting at her desk with a photo album out in front of her. Kristin looked up at her, eyes red and Jessie sighed, telling her, "You scared the shit out of him, you know."

Kristin nodded, "I know." She glanced down at her desk and then back to Jessie, saying nothing and she didn't need to. Her face said everything that needed to be conveyed without her every speaking.

Strong fell into the opposite chair. "You know, there's nothing wrong with being too close to him. You just can't do anything more medically. Letting you keep doing it after you were declared his guardian was a bit of a gray area, but you were panicking, Kristin. He got scared and the pain got worse for him because he saw you," Jessie told her. Her words were harsh but she tempered them with a smile, adding, "There's not a soul in this world who could fault you for loving him that much.

"But you know why we're going to have to take you off his medical charts as his Primary Physician, right?"

"Yes," Kristin replied. She let out a breath and told Jessie, "I was never like this with Cynthia. She was too independent for me to hover over and with Lucas..." She sighed, pushing her hair away from her eyes.

"It takes a lot to not to grab the kid and hold on," Jessie finished for her. She knew it – she felt the very same. Lucas just seemed to evoke the most protective instincts in people even though he swore up and down he could take care of himself. Of course, he usually did so while clinging to Nathan but no one ever made a point of telling him that.

Kristin leaned back, "How is Nathan?"

Jessie made a face, grimacing a little. She told the other woman, "He's not really happy that you left Lucas before he could get there, but I think he understands why. I imagine he'll be coming by later though."

"I didn't think he'd be too happy about that." Kristin got to her feet and she closed the book, stuffing it back onto a shelf before telling Jessie, "Come on. I think I've had enough of a wallow."

"Abbott isn't pleased too much either. I'll try to get between him and you, but I make no guarantees that he won't yell, Kristin," Strong admitted, knowing Kristin had to be aware of what she was going into. While Abbott would never strike a woman, he was a force to be reckoned with when angry. Throughout the years they'd worked together, Jessie had seen how intimidating he could be if presented with someone he felt was doing a disservice to their child.

"I wouldn't expect him to be otherwise, Jessica. It's why I asked for you both to be brought aboard." Kristin padded Jessie's shoulder and didn't respond to the woman's shocked look.

"You hired us because Abbott has a temper?" She finally asked as they left the room and made their way down the corridor. Joshua Levine had told them Kristin had hired them for multiple reasons, including things like personality and job performance, but he hadn't mentioned anything about her counterpart's protectiveness.

Kristin shook her head and pulled Jessie into a side corridor. "No, I hired you both because I knew if I were to stop being objective, neither of you would have qualms telling me it was time to give Lucas' care over to another."

"Oh." Jessie looked a little confused, yet clearly accepted what Kristin was telling her. It was a mite disturbing that Kristin had wanted people who could tell her things like that, especially since Kristin was the CMO – technically the only person above her was the Captain and even he had to answer to her if he was ill.

Still, it meant Kristin had known her own boundaries and where she would need handling; Jessie respected that. Not everyone could admit that they needed people around who could throw their weight to their boss.

"I'm glad you picked us," Jessie told her after a minute.

By silent agreement neither woman continued on the topic, leaving the spot off the main corridor and walking back to the medbay without saying another word. It was comfortable between them and Jessie would tell Abbott later that of all their bosses, she liked Kristin the best.

Abbott would agree.

"In time of great stress or adversity, it's

always best to keep busy, to plow your anger

and your energy into something positive."

- Lee Iacocca -

"Still, you left him, Kristin!" Nathan railed.

They had left Lucas in the medbay with Tim and Abbott, whose different personalities had caused Lucas to laugh when Abbott showed up with the requisite porn vid. Nathan had once again let that go since Lucas was smiling and he knew Tim wouldn't watch such movies anyway.

So with Lucas secured with his friends and no longer in overbearing pain, Nathan and Kristin had found their way into Nathan's quarters. He'd started off alright, but he couldn't get away from the fact that she'd left before anyone else had gotten there.

"Not that I don't like Abbott and Jessie, but they're not his family," Bridger said, his voice coming down from the height of his anger.

"What do you want me to say, Nathan? That I'm sorry – I am. I shouldn't have left him, but imagine if you were me." She glared a little at him, upset and annoyed. "I have to hand over Lucas' medical care to someone I trust but isn't me and I have to do it while making sure he understands that it's not something he did. I have to explain to my son that I'm the one with the problem."

Nathan stood stock-still. He hadn't really thought of it like that, but then he couldn't have. He wasn't a medical doctor or a man who had any background in treating patients, he didn't have to divide himself in half to be Lucas' parent and Lucas' doctor at the same time. It wasn't the same as him having to differentiate himself as Captain and Father.

They said nothing for a time and then Kristin looked at him, telling Nathan, "I knew from the beginning I wasn't going to be able to care for him medically to the end. I'm surprised you hadn't realized that."

"I thought you might but I didn't comprehend that you actually would," he admitted. It was hard to accept that Kristin would no longer be the lead in Lucas' case. "You're sure about this?"

She shook her head emphatically, "In order to continue being his doctor, I have to be able to look at Lucas clinically. To see him as a patient and not my child. That requires a detachment that would also means I would have to forget that something I do could kill him." Kristin watched his face and when that had sunk in, she added, "I got close to him, Nathan. It would be irresponsible of me to go on – it would put Lucas' life in jeopardy."

Getting to his feet, Nathan looked at her again and sighed. He laid a hand on hers, speaking again and letting his voice be filled with emotion, "Thank you."

Kristin flipped her hand over, grasping his in hers and pulled him closer to her.

It had been a horrible shock to realize that she really could not look at Lucas objectively anymore. Simply saying that once she put on her labcoat, she was his doctor and not his mother hadn't worked in a long time if she was truthful; Kristin hadn't ever liked the idea of not being Lucas' primary, but she knew in his condition, all she needed to do was hesitate just once and it could cost Lucas his life. That was not acceptable.

As Kristin prepared to speak again, wanting to move them toward a happier topic – visiting Cynthia in the near future or perhaps the fact that Nathan was doing a piss-poor job of concealing his proposal plans – but Abbott interrupted when he walked into the room. Clad only in a towel and sneakers, he looked like a drowned cat with his hair sopping wet and droplets of water still clinging to him.

"Ben will die. A horrible, horrible death. Anyone who will care should be informed before I chase him around seaQuest with penicillin." He'd spoken so calmly, as if it were an everyday thing to be threatening the supply officer with death, then turned and left without so much as an explanation.

Nathan grinned and laughed, unable to stop himself. "Well, at least they've stopped pulling pranks on Crocker."

For her part, Kristin just sighed in a long-suffering way. She got up from the chair and shuffled into the hallway, unsurprised to see Ben duck into another room at the sight of her. He'd had a camera in his hands and while she'd normally have been amused at the idea of Ben cheering up Lucas by tormenting his doctors, today was not the day to be doing it.

She intended to go yell at Ben with Nathan, but when Nathan walked in the opposite direction, Kristin realized he had no intention of disciplining Ben. He stopped at her annoyed grunt, still smiling, and Nathan explained, "Abbott went to MIT, right?"

"Right." Kristin looked at him with an expression that clearly meant she had no idea what Jones' schooling had to do with anything.

"Trust me, Ben will get what's coming to him without me being involved," Bridger told her and Kristin just shook her head. He continued, "I'm inclined to let them for now. So long as no one gets hurt, they can do whatever they want. Besides, they both could use some stress relief."

Rolling her eyes, Kristin waved him away and went to the medbay where Jessie was busy trying not to launch into hysterics at the sight of Abbott. The man was walking around the medbay in his towel, gloves on and a facemask and looking for all the world like it didn't bother him that he was pretty much naked.

Kristin sidled over to Jessie. The woman grinned and asked her, "Ben locked him out of quarters as well?" Her response was a weak smile from Lucas who attempted to look complete innocent and angelic. It failed miserably.

"Troublemaker," She muttered. "Did you put Ben up to this or did he think this up on his own and you encouraged him?"

Lucas held up both hands. "I didn't put him up to anything. I just thought it'd be funny if we did something to Abbott. He did it all on his own," he told her, then cautiously added, "Though I may have told him that he should block Abbott from getting back to his room."

"Well, don't let him know but that was a clever trick, waiting until Abbott went to shower in the clean room to steal his clothes." She moved over to the other side of Lucas' room and tapped the wall, "And I recommending giving back his clothing, Lieutenant. You can keep the pictures."

Ben peeked out from behind the door, looking appropriately embarrassed and quickly handed off the photos to Lucas before walking out into the main section of the medbay with Abbott's pants and shirt in hand.

Kristin smirked and turned back to Lucas, asking Jessie to leave. "I just need a few minutes to talk to Lucas alone," she assured her friend and patted Lucas' hand gently. He looked nervous, like he was scared she was upset with him; Kristin waited until Jessie had closed the door to tell him, "Sweetheart, it's not you. I want you to understand that you've done absolutely nothing wrong and this isn't a punishment."

Lucas' mind went off at that. He breathed a little faster and grew agitated, fidgeting in the bed and trying to not cry. He let himself think over how much he'd wanted her as his mother, yet she was there to tell him it was too hard to care for him. He was too much to handle and she didn't want him.

She didn't know of his thoughts and when she spoke again, it startled him. Lucas' blue eyes settled on hers, Kristin told him, "Abbott, Jessie, and I have talked and we decided that I can't be your doctor anymore. I love you too much, Lucas, and I wouldn't be able to give you the best medical care so I'm going to have Joshua assigned to you."

"I don't understand," Lucas whispered. "You're not getting rid of me?"

"What?" Kristin jumped and her heart caught. "Lucas, did you think that I didn't... want you anymore?" The thought chafed her and Kristin hoped to God Lucas hadn't being thinking that, though she knew it had been.

He nodded dully, still a little scared. Lucas had been yelled at before for speaking the truth and while he hoped it was different with Kristin, his parents abuse would always be with him, would always linger at the back of his mind. Wendy had made him come to terms with that – it didn't mean he had to like it.

"No," Kristin stated with no room for argument. "There's no force in this universe that could make me voluntarily give you up."

Lucas nodded. He still looked absolutely miserable and Kristin stroked his face, hoping to soothe him back into slumber. Lucas, however, didn't want to sleep and as a consequence, Kristin found herself in Lucas' quarters on the hunt for his sketchpad. The charcoal was easy since Lucas had left the box on his desk after meeting with Wendy, but the pad had been hidden.

She was contemplating calling Lucas to ask for a better description of its hiding place when she spotted it. The spiral of the pad was peeking out from beneath his bed, the comforter's edge just covering it in just the right manner to obscure it. Kristin nabbed it and sat down at his desk to look over the newly decorated cover.

A piece of paper fluttered to the floor as she stood back up and Kristin looked at it for a second. It was a rendition of herself, all soft lines and shading with the just a hint of color at the edges. In the back of her mind, she was happy Lucas was finally using the watercolor pencils she'd bought him, but the rest of her was focused on the sight – eyes that had a slight sparkle to them but were still warm, curled hair hanging to her back and her lips quirked into a sarcastic smile.

Lucas had drawn her as he saw her and Kristin touched the paper reverently. The temptation to see if there were more was great, but she held back and carefully placed the picture back into the sketchpad. If Lucas hadn't shown her before, then Lucas likely hadn't wanted her to see that picture just yet. She could tell him later what she'd seen.

When she returned, Lucas just gave her a knowing smile and asked her to open the book for him, his fingers still shooting pain when pressure was placed on them. The pages were easier to turn than the cover and he quickly found the picture she had placed back inside. "I was going to ask Ben to get a frame for it. You know, for your birthday," Lucas told her, pushing the paper over, "You can have it now though. I mean I know Ben gave me that money from everyone, but I, um..." He shrugged, "I'm gonna need it to find an apartment for upworld. It's not like I can go back to my house anymore."

"Lucas, sometimes I wonder about that genius brain of yours," Kristin said. She cuffed his head lightly. "Nathan found a beautiful house in Hawaii for both of you," she told him and added, "You're his son. He isn't going to let you live anywhere but with him."

"Not the island?" Lucas looked at Kristin, his eyes glittering in spite of the pain.

"Well, it is an island," she grinned to herself, thinking the response brilliant. Lucas rolled his eyes at her; Kristin went on, "No, not Nathan's island. He's going to keep that for private affairs, but he thought it would be better for you to be around people and that wasn't going to happen on his island. So he found a very nice house right at the coast that will fit all of your things and his and you'll have a bedroom with a spectacular view of the water."

Lucas grinned. He liked that Kristin had already seen the house the Captain had bought. It made him feel all the more like Kristin was his family and Lucas bounced a little as he thought of the ring Nathan had hidden in his quarters. While Nathan wasn't entirely sure or when he'd be proposing, he'd already promised Lucas the boy could be there.

"So do you still want me to take this beautiful drawing from you?" Kristin asked after a few minutes, already reaching for the picture.

Lucas nudged it toward her, "Sure. I can make another later for you to have as a gift." His mind was running with ideas – him and Kristin, Cynthia and Kristin, himself with Kristin and Nathan, or all four.

Kristin smiled and kissed his temple, taking the picture from Lucas' lap and sent Ben to sit with him while she ducked into her office. There was a bit of wall space directly in front of her desk that fit the page perfectly. She hung it gingerly, making sure Lucas' signature wasn't obscured by anything on her filing cabinet.

She warmed at the thought that Lucas had said earlier that he'd never drawn anything with a face, yet her own was looking down at her. It wasn't drawn hastily, it wasn't mussed or smudged. She noted the date beneath Lucas' signature, and realized he must have drawn it following his session with Wendy.

"Progress is a slow wonder," she whispered and then Kristin let herself back into Lucas' room, a little happier than when she'd left.

"Smile at each other – it doesn't matter who

it is – and that will help you grow to up in

greater love for each other."

- Mother Teresa of Calcutta -

Lucas spent the next few days recovering from the chemo, the neuropathy in his extremities dulling down to something much more bearable. Of course, his mind was also preoccupied with the shenanigans between Ben and Abbott.

Twice a day, Kristin would check in on the boy and was unsurprised to discover Ben there several times, nursing his wounded pride. He mostly sat there looking forlorn while Lucas laughed at him or helped him determine an appropriate comeback.

Then Ben showed up on the bridge the Friday of Lucas' next treatment and Nathan knew it was time to put his foot down – Ben was blue. He looked for all the world like the little blueberry girl in Willy Wonka; Nathan was mostly amused by it, but he knew the feud between the two men had gone as far as he could allow.

"Lieutenant," Nathan said when he sidled up beside Ben.

Standing beside Phillips, Ben had been conferring with the man over some of the ship's gossip, but he responded to Nathan immediately, "Captain."

"I need to speak with you privately. Please go to the wardroom and wait for me," he instructed and waited until Krieg had gone from the bridge to call Abbott and request his presence as well.

The wardroom was cold, but Ben was still sweating and Nathan felt bad for him. It had been several months since the man's mother had passed, his best friend was sick, and Ben was also wrestling with the issue of his relationship with Hitchcock. Nathan would have preferred to not have to chastise Ben, but it had to be done.

Abbott arrived a few moments later, before Bridger could ask how Ben had come to be blue, and he looked ready to be written up. Nathan wasn't going to do such a thing and instead offered up a seat to the man.

With both Ben and Abbott sitting, Nathan looked between the two and started, "I expect that you both understand why I have you here." With simultaneous nods, Nathan went on, "I know this has mostly been stress relief and on some level, a way to entertain Lucas, but I need you to stop before this gets truly out of hand."

Ben nodded and gave a snappy, "Yes, sir." He had figured Nathan would tell them to call off their war since he woke up and discovered himself blue. Most of their pranks hadn't been anything too bad – peroxide in shampoo bottles, shortsheeting beds, switching out one person's laundry with that of a female crewmate. However, this had crossed into the boundaries of irresponsibility and Ben was glad to be told it was done.

"Listen, I hope there's no hard feelings. I just wanted the kid to smile and you were the easiest target," Ben told him.

Shaking the extended hand, Abbott told him, "I know. Do me a favor though – the next time I get in the chemical shower to wash off, take a picture or something. I had my clothes stolen enough during my undergrad years."

"Will do, man. Um, is there anyway you could, you know, make me not blue?" Ben asked, running a hand over his bald head. It reminded him that while Tim's, Miguel's, and Jonathan's hair had grown back, his own had been shaven once more a few days earlier by Katie and that at the moment, he looked like a member of the Blue Man Group.

"Sorry. It'll be a couple of hours before your body breaks down the stuff, so you're stuck." Abbott cheerfully told him, "So you might as well get the best from it. Commander Hitchcock will get a good laugh from it."

Ben rolled his eyes, "Yeah, well. Captain, may I be dismissed, sir?"

Nathan nodded and watched the man leave, taking in the sight of Abbott who was looking just a bit sheepish. "I apologize, Captain. I don't normally let myself get drawn into those kinds of things much anymore, but Ben pretty much put forth the challenge and I couldn't let him win."

"I'm sure it was quite tempting. There have been plenty of times I've wanted to get back at Ben for some of his stunts. Just do me a favor and stay away from changing his skin color in the future. Kristin's going to be on you for that one the minute she sees you," Nathan told him, still grinning as he thought of Ben's very blue skin.

"Yes, sir." Abbott was smiling as well and Nathan was glad for it – the last thing he wanted was for Jones to be upset that he'd been asked to stop, but it seemed he had known as well that he'd toed the line a bit too far.

Dismissing him then, Nathan went back to the bridge and he was unsurprised to find Jonathan whispering with Katie about Ben. She was trying fairly hard to not laugh as Ford explained the state of her boyfriend; they both stopped what they were doing when they realized the Captain was watching them.

"Just don't spread the gossip too far, Commanders. Last thing we need is for Thomas to start complaining that the military contingent on seaQuest is ill fit for duty," he told them and went directly to the communications station, touching Tim's arm.

"Sir?" Tim turned in his seat to give his attention to Nathan. It also helpfully turned him away from looking at Miguel, who didn't seem all too happy.

"Is there something I should know about? You and Mr. Ortiz haven't tried any of your usual tricks to talk to each other and I'm a bit worried about both your performances," Nathan told him, his voice down just low enough for Tim to hear but no one else around them.

Tim shook his head, "No, sir. Just some..." He pushed his headset down onto his neck and pulled the mouthpiece out of the way, "We just can't agree on something." He looked around, "Sir, can we talk about this somewhere private?"

Since they were both off duty in twenty minutes, Nathan told him they could go to his quarters to talk. He even suggested bringing Miguel, but Tim just shrugged at that. He didn't seem to keen on that idea, and Bridger figured it would be just himself and his Lieutenant j.g. talking.

He was right – Miguel watched them leave the bridge, but he didn't follow or say a word. Nathan tried to give him a look that meant nothing bad was about to happen, only Miguel looked away from him and Nathan sighed at it. He was always absolutely frustrated by goings-on such as they were.

While Nathan condoned any and all relationships with the caveat that no one was abused and everything consensual, he absolutely hated when they interfered with work. Not because it meant he was going to demand the relationship ended or because he had to report it. No, it was because then he had to stand there and watch people he cared about fuck up possibly the best thing they had going for them.

Closing the hatch behind them, Nathan offered Tim a chair and then turned to pull out the vodka he had confiscated from Ben a few days prior. Nathan closed his eyes for a second as he thought of Ben and finding the man with the bottle in his hands, a sad look in his eyes. Wendy would be seeing him for sessions starting that Monday.

Nathan handed Tim a shot glass and the younger man looked confused, as if unsure of what to do with it. "It helps to drink it," Bridger explained and he fully expected Tim to reject it, put the glass on the desk and start talking, but Tim downed the shot with a choke.

"Strong stuff, sir," Tim managed out as he attempted to stop coughing. Eventually he got it under control and he scratched his head, thinking of where would be the best place to begin.

He settled on the beginning and told Nathan it all – Tim and Miguel getting together, the rougher spots when they would argue, and the strain Lucas' cancer had on them. They'd already talked about issues that no other couple would at the same stages of a relationship and it was overwhelming to Tim who'd never had a girlfriend for more than a few dates. Then he mentioned how Miguel had pushed him to let his parents know about them, the basis of their latest fight.

Nathan stopped him at that and they went off on a long talk about how it was alright to slow down in a relationship, how they were equals and what Miguel said was not a law in any country.

"Truthfully, sir, this is the first time in my life that I'm willing to throw it all away – my family, my religion, my job – for someone and it feels right, but..." Tim shrugged and sat back in his seat, still toying with the empty shot glass as he had been for two hours.

"But you don't want to give up everything you've got," Nathan finished for him. He could understand that and when he went on, it was with a gentler tone of voice. "You don't have to, Tim. If Miguel can't respect that you aren't ready to do so, then maybe you both went into this a little too fast and you need to work that out first."

Tim smiled at that, like something had clicked and he finally had a grasp on the situation. "Yes, sir," he breathed. Nathan could see he had relaxed over the course of their conversation and he figured it was because Tim had needed another person to validate what he'd been thinking.

"Go, Tim," Nathan said after a few minutes silence. "Miguel's probably worried." He took the dirty glass from Tim and watched the man leave then, giving him a parting smile.

He was busily washing out the glass when Kristin called him, her voice coming through tinny-sounding from the PAL. "Nathan," she said and when it took him more than five seconds to respond, spoke again, "Nathan, are you there?"

Nathan resisted pointing out she needed to give him a minute to get to the unit, but instead he calmly asked what she needed.

"Lucas is asking for you and I need to go do a few things. Can you come sit with him or shall I call Ben?" She asked and Nathan could hear the smile.

"I'll be down in a few minutes," he responded. "Warn Lucas I'm bringing the paperwork he needs to finish before Stanford can reissue his degree with me." Nathan knew Lucas had been looking forward to it; Lucas asked every few days about the state of affairs with Stanford and Nathan was glad to finally be able to bring him the documentation.

He changed out of his uniform, putting on his civvies and grabbing the papers on his way out of the room. Nathan re-read them as he walked, ensuring that he had marked all the places Lucas needed to sign.

So enamored in his reading, Nathan nearly missed Ben attempting to walk past him with his face hidden beneath sunglasses, a large-brimmed hat, and his shoulders hunched enough to hide his neck in his uniform.

"Lieutenant," Nathan started. He felt just the slightest bit bad for Ben, who had likely been ribbed by everyone, and he quietly told him, "Go on back to quarters. I'll let the Commander know you've got the rest of the day off."

"Thank you, sir!" Ben looked more than grateful – he looked about ready to hug Nathan, but instead he simply dashed off for his room and Nathan watched him go with a laugh. He hoped Katie wouldn't be too hard on Ben when she found him later, though Nathan knew she would make him suitably embarrassed by the entire situation.

Still amused when he walked into the medbay, Kristin pounced on him immediately. "We had a bit of chaos this morning." She didn't give him time to ask what had happened before she was tell him, "Jessie and I couldn't get Lucas to hold still while the chemotherapy was attached to his IC line. A few drops got on him, so he has a few small burns but it's nothing you should get excited over. If he complains they hurt or looks at all uncomfortable, let Abbott or Jessie know."

Nathan nodded. He'd been warned that while most patients avoided getting any of the caustic drugs on their skin nowadays as a result of ports, Abbott had maintained that on a sub and with Lucas as fidgety as it was, it was likely he'd not be one of the many. Nathan told her, "Alright. Go on and get some sleep, Kristin." He very politely didn't tell her she looked like something the cat dragged in.

Lucas was propped up with pillows, his usual scrub top gone and Nathan could see the burns on the boy's chest. They had been medicated with something, a clear glaze over them and Nathan was happy to see that there really were only five or six. They were relatively small; he understood why they hadn't called him.

"You have the papers?" Lucas asked without any preamble. He was smiling happily, nearly ripping the folder of paperwork clear from Nathan's hand.

"Calm down," Nathan told him. He looked over at the monitors, making sure Lucas followed his gaze as well, and said, "Leave the heart attacks to me, kiddo." He laid a hand in between Lucas' shoulderblades and felt the boy relax. While he understood Lucas' enthusiasm and happiness at finally getting things as close to normal as possible, he knew the dangers of letting Lucas get too excited.

Flipping through the pages, though, Lucas just about vibrated with glee. Every time he signed off on another line, he'd look up at Nathan and then back to the papers like it were the adoption agreement. Bridger didn't fully understand how much his degree meant to him and he knew he couldn't, just that it made Lucas overjoyed to be getting one with everything proper.

When they came to the final line, Nathan figured it out. Lucas had asked weeks earlier about changing his name – if Nathan was upset he'd kept Wolenczak, if Nathan wanted him to take Bridger. He'd assumed it was Lucas' way of testing the waters of the idea and as Lucas wrote in how he wanted his name to appear on the certificate, Nathan was silent.

Lucas H. Wolenczak-Bridger was formed out in small printed letters and then the same was signed beneath before Lucas put down the pen and looked up at him. His voice was a little bit quieter than usual as spoke, but Nathan didn't need the words to understand that Lucas was trying to explain himself.

"It's alright," Nathan interrupted. "Lucas, if that's what you want your name to be, that's fine. You could change it to Westphalen and I'd be happy." He rubbed Lucas' neck with his thumb, "If you want to change it to that, I'll talk to Peter and get the paperwork set up."

"I ready talked to Peter," Lucas admitted. He looked down at his hands, worried he'd overstepped his bounds and told Nathan, "He wrote everything up and submitted it. There shouldn't be a problem with it and I wanted to tell you later when I wasn't trapped in here. I promise I would have told you."

Nathan squeezed his hand, "Hey. Didn't I tell you to call Peter if there was something you needed? If you wanted to do this and you wanted to do it on your own, then I'm glad you could, pal. I know you would have told me."

"Oh." Lucas looked relieved and he touched the papers reverently, letting his finger cross over the name. He stopped after a minute and shoved the papers back into the folder, changing the subject as he went about it. "So when are you proposing to Kristin?"

Not surprised that Lucas was avoiding the topic, Nathan went with it. He knew Wendy preferred if Lucas was made to talk about the things that made him upset, but Nathan was willing to forego such for the moment; Lucashad talked to him about the issue though Nathan hadn't been aware of the full extent.

"Well, I'm not sure when but I know it's going to be a little longer," Nathan told Lucas, fixing Lucas' blanket and looking closer at his son's chest. He could see the skin had reddened around the burns, irritated, and Nathan called for Abbott.

With Lucas taken care off, they could continue talking, but the boy looked exhausted. Nathan figured his earlier excitement had drained him of what little he'd built up and he coaxed Lucas to sleep, telling him, "We can talk later about Kristin." He helped pull the sheet up to the boy's shoulders and rubbed his back as he drifted off.

Nathan laid a kiss on Lucas' head. "Goodnight, kiddo. Sweet dreams," he whispered before dimming the lights and getting comfortable in the chair beside Lucas' bed. He took Lucas' hand in his and knew Kristin wouldn't wake him.

It would be the last time Nathan would do so.