The Cherished of War:
The quiet rap grew louder as the impatient soul on the other side of the door seemed insistent that I answer promptly.
"OK, I'm coming." I murmured with a tad of annoyance as I scurried across the room, cracked the door and peeked outside. It was Rex. Hey, didn't I just see you? I giggled a bit at my own inside joke.
"Here." He said as he held out a kit of armor. "General Alexandria told me to bring this to you."
"Oh thanks." I said as I took it and dropped it just inside the doorway, while Rex sort of looked up and down the hall seeming a bit annoyed.
"What's the matter?" I inquired as I slipped out myself.
"Oh nothing." He said. "I just came from engineering and I'm suppose to report to the briefing room in about 15 minutes; or someone's going to come looking for me." He mumbled as he made one last survey of the corridor.
"Engineering?" I muttered to myself as the latest episode in my series of odd dreams played in brief fast forward for me. "Don't tell me. It's the Padawan." I unwittingly offered. Rex just paused a minute and flashed me a curious look.
"Ah, yeah." He finally admitted as he cleared his throat and squirmed a little. I only lent him a raised eyebrow. You do like her don't you? The thought momentarily flashed through my (ever becoming more cluttered) mind.
Hum, I nodded as I tried to come up with a way to gently broach the subject. What really was going on? I began to question as the past few days made it painfully obvious that Salam's simple explanation of Ashoka's perceived lustful interests, were just not adequate to explain the apparent complexities of what I was now witnessing. Rex was obviously in a lot of pain and though I didn't want to jump in somewhere and end up not being helpful at all. A part of me really wanted to get to the bottom of all of this.
Dreams, nightmares, premonitions, Rex, Cody, Alexandria's confusion. I couldn't help think that it was all connected somehow? But why? And how is it that these two, once rumored to have been such close friends, were now so estranged? How did that happen and is connected to all this other 'strangeness' that's going on? What ever it is, maybe Rex can shed some light on this? I squirmed in my disconcerted thoughts as I swallowed hard and inched up to the delicate subject at hand.
"She seems to really like you." I commented, trying to sound as casual as possible.
Rex just gave me the eye.
"Well, she's just a young-ling." He finally responded.
"She's 17 or so now isn't she?" I attempted to push the question a bit further. "She won't be a kid forever. What do you think of her?"
"Nothing!" He snapped rather abruptly. "She's another Jedi; someone else I have to take orders from. That's it! I don't want to get any more involved than that. I don't care what the rumor mill on this ship says!" Rex cut his hand across his throat.
Hum, that's an interesting response. I thought to myself a minute as I watched Rex for a bit of a more thorough explanation.
"What?" He finally mumbled in a soft voice.
"That really bothers you doesn't it?" I folded my arms and looked inquisitively at him.
"What? That she likes me so much, or that she doesn't seem to care what other people are saying about... primarily me?" Rex suddenly fired back. "Yes it does!" He sternly confessed. "But what am I suppose to do about it? Cody picks on me constantly and General Skywalker doesn't seem to notice?" Rex threw his hands in the air.
We stood silent for a moment, as we'd both noticed Alexandria was coming.
"Good morning again to both of you." She glanced back and forth between the two of us. Seemingly wondering why Rex looked so exasperated.
"Something wrong Captain?" She inquired.
"No." Rex's voice cracked. "I'm fine!" He growled in an attempt to recover his coolness.
"Padawan problems?" Alexandria cautiously probed.
Rex only grunted a denial.
"Please level with me Captain. What's going on?" Alexandria finally dared to venture into the icy waters of uncertainty. "Are you and this Padawan having some sort of ... ehh, problem?" Alexandria sighed. "Last thing I knew you two were friends?"
"Well uh..." Rex tried to side step the question. "Things change... Ma'am." He grunted again as he than glanced over at me and forced and uneasy smile.
Alexandria peered skeptically at Rex and then shook her head. "Captain!" She declared, her annoyance now showing through his thin facade. "This one's been claimed!" She stated point blankly as she gestured toward me. "You know that!" She continued. "I know you know that! So what gives here?"
"Nothing!" Rex reiterated; trying hard to hold his composure.
"Why are you so mad at Ashoka than?" Alexandria shot a question straight at him.
"Because!" Rex finally threw his hands in the air. "Because, because she said... stuff...about me." His voice trailed off a bit.
"It's nothing though. Nothing I can't... take care of." Rex paused a moment as he slipped back into his 'professional soldier' stance. "Ma'am." He assured her as he stretched up a bit to show he was 'tall enough' to 'rise above' this.
Alexandria let out a little sigh; looked at Rex and finally smiled.
"I remember back in the beginning, when this war had just gotten started." Alexandria began to fondly reminisce. "Battle of Christophsis." She shook her finger in the air. "A certain captain; an excellent soldier, Obi Wan had told me." Alexandria smiled as she could see Rex suddenly transformed by the news of Kanobi's approval.
Wow, I thought to myself. Even after all these years. How is it such a battle hardened clone trooper can be so vulnerable, as to be that easily manipulated by the simple mention of praise? Tinges of grief nudged me as I could feel the churning storm in Rex.
"A courageous and trustworthy Captain." Alexandria smiled sadly herself, as she folded her arms and peered thoughtfully up at Rex. "One who wants to maintain an excellent reputation." She glanced at me as she continued her monologue of observations. "One who decided when a certain fourteen year-old came into his command; that he was going to help this kid out. After all, she's under all this pressure trying to prove herself and life in this army is hard enough as it is." She paused a minute and looked back at Rex before she went on. He didn't say anything; just unconsciously nodded as to the accuracy of Alexandria's commentary.
"In the beginning, you didn't think much of it." Alexandria continued. "Oh, that's kind of cute; little young-ling's got a crush on me. I'm even flattered in a certain way. After all, how many Jedi actually respect us; none to say look up to us" Alexandria poked Rex. "Expendable clones." She said rather pointedly.
Rex just stood there looking a bit shocked by the comment about respect for "expendable clones". I suppose, of any of the two standing here, he would know more about the gap of regard paid on the battlefield. Wages rendered in lives of real men that is. Than here was Alexandria, brazenly pointing out the fact that we were not the only ones who recognized this? Especially of late too, none the less. Has she figured out what's going on? My mind began to wander a bit.
"When this all started, two or more years ago; you figured you could handle it." Alexandria continued, as she glanced at Rex and than turned to me. "You know; the big tough Captain who leads missions and blows up lots of clankers." She nodded and rapped the knuckle of her index finger on my armor before she turned back to Rex. "You surely can take care of this too? Right?" She folded her arms, cocked her head and just looked at him. Rex glanced over at her and than turned away from us. He folded his arms and just stared down the hall way.
"But it really is more complicated than that; isn't it?" I interjected, as a revelation suddenly dawned. Things just weren't the way they were suppose to be! The Jedi in control, me, the crying trooper, force sensitive clones, the Padawan and of course Cody? (Who apparently was right all along. The whole Republic had gone crazy!)
Alexandria turned and looked at me; clearly not expecting clone chick here to set forth this observation. I peered back at her, still seeming lost in her confusion. Her public Jedi image looking so cool, collected and... "unattached". A tiny whiff though and the faintest flash of terror in her eyes.
"Hum." She nodded patiently as she sucked in a calming breath. The truth being told though... They are no longer in control of this game! My eyes drifted toward Rex.
"Of course it is!" He snapped as he turned and looked at me. "She saved my life on more than one occasion." He continued, trying not to stumble over his words. "Fist time it happened; surprised me." He hesitantly confessed as he peered down the hallway; seemingly awaiting someone to show up any minute now. "Never expected it, not to say understood why?" Rex turned back to me.
"She had whole squadrons that ended up getting killed." He began to expound more freely. "Yeah, she felt bad about it; but that was based more on her own reputation and making... Sky-Guy proud!" Rex paused a moment, visibly surprised at the deriding jeer that had suddenly slipped from his lips. "It didn't seem to me that she sincerely looked at these clones lives as being genuinely meaningful; or at least at first..." Rex's voice abruptly trailed off as if he'd hit some mental wall. I just looked questioningly at him, only than realizing something had snapped in Rex.
"Well, things changed." Rex suddenly reverted directions, apparently outwardly shaken by this certain revelation we all seemed to be sharing. "Err, or at least I'd thought they had?" He glanced at me, as if though grasping for some understanding as to what was really going on. "Do they really care or are they all that... unattached? I don't know anymore." He blurted out in a rather wounded tone, before he hastily put his hand over his mouth. He glanced apprehensively at Alexandria. Should I let go of the pretext or not? His eyes seemed to be questioning.
"Sorry Ma'am." Rex quietly apologized... just in case?
"No, don't apologize for being correct." Alexandria suddenly conceded with upraised hands, as we both looked at her and she nodded in her own acknowledged shame.
"You have a right to be treated as more than those who were born just to die." Alexandria paused a minute. Obviously what ever "it" was; she got it! "After all, you are the one who's told his squad on more than one occasion - that they had to think for themselves; Right!" She nodded in affirmation.
Rex just stood looking a little surprised. You noticed that? His expression seemed to say.
"Yes I did!" Alexandria completed his thought. "I feel like I need to apologize to you Captain." She continued on with a regrettably heavy sigh. "This order owes you clones more respect than we've ever had the humility to give!" She confessed. "I get that. Believe me; I get it."
"So you do really care about us?" Rex mumbled, trying to mask his suspicion as his attention drifted in my direction.
"She actually asked me that earlier today." Alexandria responded as she gestured at me. "Do I love my men?" She reiterated an earlier question of mine. "Jedi are suppose to show compassion; but not form attachments?" Alexandria looked directly at Rex. "May sound wise on the surface; but I don't think one comes honestly without the other." She folded her arms and sighed. "The problem isn't attachments." She clarified. "It's knowing when and how to let go." Alexandria gazed earnestly at Rex. "Now that's real love." She said as she leaned over toward Rex and began to whisper. "And that I learned from a clone!"
Rex just cocked his head and gazed back at Alexandria a moment, looking as if he really wanted to believe her; but wasn't sure if he should. The moment suddenly struck me as odd? Maybe I am right? Maybe there's a whole lot more to this story than meets the eye? I just wish I knew what it was? My thoughts began to escape me again.
"Well, uh; Speaking of Jedi and love!" I impulsively gestured down the hall at our expected guest, who'd now made her appearance. My fantasizes ran away with me and I started to giggle. I slapped Rex on the shoulder and knocked my forehead against his bell a few times.
"Let me guess?" I heard Alexandria comment as they both let out a chuckle and I felt Rex move. He gingerly put his arms around me, patted my back and than kissed the top of my head.
"Hey!" I suddenly looked up at him as I could hear Alexandria chortling.
"Please don't hit me." Rex smirked, trying to look a tad intimidated.
"Captain Rex!" A rather angry sounding voice rang out from down the corridor.
Ut-oh! Rex and I both looked at each other momentarily before I burst out laughing. A pair of furious feet raced down the hall and before we knew it, Rex was being hustled away.
"General Kanobi and General Sky-walker are waiting for you!" Ashoka scolded him.
"Well you can tell them it was my fault; I'm the one who kept him here." Alexandria interjected.
"Yes Ma'am." the Padawan said politely as she glanced at Alexandria, glared at me and then looked a bit worriedly at Rex.
"Oh good! There you are!" A fifth voice chimed in from the other end of this now impetuously busy hallway. It was Obi Wan Kanobi.
"I was just retrieving him; sorry we're late Master Kanobi." Ashoka announced.
"No actually, I was looking for Alexandria." Obi Wan corrected this apparent miss communication. "But since Rex is here too; that's good. I only have to explain this once." He continued as he hurried past where the young-ling had removed Rex to, over by where Alexandria and I were still standing. "Come here Captain." He gestured at Rex.
"Yes Sir." Rex obediently followed, as Ashoka tagged behind him. She being obviously pleased with the view before her. I cleared my throat from as controlled of a snicker as I could manage to veil. Rex shot me one of those looks. Apparently, I wasn't the only clone who had difficulties contending with the interests of others as to what exactly was under my armor.
"We have been called in from the outer rim here." Obi Wan began to explain. "The Resolute is headed back to Coruscate; but I don't want to leave you without adequate support Alexandria." He said as he turned to her. "So I'm leaving you Rex and a couple of squadrons. He's good with these droid factory quagmires and I know he will be in good hands with you." Obi Wan nodded to Alexandria.
"Yes, Thank you Obi Wan." Alexandria nodded back with a smile.
"And Captain, I don't what you coming back with any... surprises!" Obi Wan pointed at Rex and smiled as his eyes drifted toward me. He paused a minute, raised an eyebrow to Alexandria and then looked back to Rex.
Rex just stood there seeming a bit confused.
"Not as sly as Cody. Maybe that's good." Obi Wan chuckled as he winked at Alexandria.
"Oh I wouldn't say that!" Alexandria interjected as she folded her arms and grinned at Obi Wan. "You weren't here a minute or so ago." She said with a knowing nod. "And he didn't get slapped." She whispered an aside.
"Oh!" Obi Wan made a surprised face. "Hum." His eyes drifted over to Rex as he nodded again and then turned back to Alexandria. "Like I said before. You're a much better expert at these...situations, than I!" He whispered back.
Alexandria just glared at Obi Wan as he turned to leave.
"Coward!" She mumbled with a snicker.
Obi Wan glanced back at us and just let out a little laugh.
"Rex, you're officially under her command as of..." He pointed to his chrono. "Now!"
"But Master Kanobi!" We heard the Padawan protest as she hurried down the hall after Obi Wan. "What about..."
"What about... what Ashoka?" He tauntingly chipped as they turned the corner.
"He's bad." I mumbled to myself as Alexandria put her hand on my shoulder and started to giggle.
"Well, you don't get to be a master Jedi without well honed observation skills." Alexandria said to me.
"As in a hundred and fifty ways to piss off a Padawan?" I inquired.
"No, the bulk of that accomplishment fell upon your shoulders dear." Alexandria replied as she wagged her finger at me. "A few innocent giggles can be dangerous around here." She chuckled as she sauntered up to Rex and gingerly put her arms around him. "Ooooh." She cooed as she hugged Rex; who now looked a bit mortified. "I'm too old for this to be plausible; aren't I?" Alexandria laughed as she looked up at him and then slapped him a good one on the chest. Rex finally cracked a smile.
"Guess Cody's right" He added dryly. "The whole Republic has gone crazy!"
Alexandria just looked up at him with a flash of nervousness and then simply started laughing. "Yeah, probably!" She concluded with a goofy expression before we all returned to our former 'status quo'.
"Well, I have other things I need to take care of now!" Alexandria commented as she checked her chrono. "I want you to go change though." She pointed at me. "We have to send you on a particular mission and your dearest fellow beloved needs his armor back." She said as she cracked open the door to her quarters and shooed me inside. "Rex, I want you to go to the flight deck." I heard Alexandria continue as the door clicked behind me.
I hurriedly changed armor before I walked over to the refresher and quietly knocked. The distraught brother who'd been hiding in there for the past 20 or so minutes peeked out.
"Here" I whispered as I handed him the duffel bag with the armor I'd just exchanged. He took the bag and quietly closed the door. A few minutes later; he handed it back to me.
"I think I'm ready." I mumbled as I slipped back out into the corridor.
"Instant shinny!" Rex chuckled as soon as he saw me.
"I will take that." Alexandria said as she grasped the shoulder strap to the armor bag and slung it over her back.
"I can carry it Ma'am?" Rex politely offered as he went to assist Alexandria.
"No, I got to hurry up and get this to someone." She told him. "You two go; before the other guys leave on my transport. I'm going with Philadelphia." Alexandria said as she rushed us away.
