Cloaked in dark ethereal billowing smoke Judge Vengeance disappeared along with the desks and benches, leaving the room vacant with the exception of its living occupants. The three Observers glared at Mike and Joel with bitter defeat in their eyes. The two Observer colleagues took Observer aside and began mentally reprimanding his blatant an utter failure to prevent Mike from setting foot aboard the Satellite of Love, and dooming three planets in the process.

Mike fell to the ground relieved. "Aw man, I didn't think I was going to..."

Joel nodded. "I know."

"And that I was going to..."

"Yeah, I know."

"And that in the end they would've...

"That would've sucked."

"Exactly!" Mike proceeded to fall all the way over onto his back on the floor and started laughing in euphoric relief.

Crow nudged Joel's leg with his beak. "Joel, where's Mike going to sleep?"

"Huh?" He looked down at his golden robot friend.

"On the satellite. Mike's moving in, but where's he going to sleep? Because I'm not sharing my room with some strange guy with a square head!"

Tom joined in. "Same here! My room is just that, MY room!"

Gypsy and Cambot joined the group. "He can stay with me!" Gypsy offered enthusiastically.

"Easy, you guys, relax." Joel remained calm and composed. "There's the guest cabin that we've been saving for just such a situation."

"Oh, right..." Crow pretended to remember.

"Wait," Tom admittedly didn't remember the guest cabin. "since when do we have a 'guest cabin'?"

"Well, ever since we started getting visited by aliens or long forgotten B-movie stars, Gypsy and I decided to keep a spare cabin ready in case someone needed a place to crash."

"Oh. Plot convenience."

"No Tom, it's called foresight. Something I really need to program into your databanks."

"Why didn't you do it before? Seems like something you should've prepared for. What's the word I'm looking for Crow?"

"Um, 'foresight'?"

"Yeah! That's it!"

The two robots started laughing at their creator.

"Very funny you two. It just so happens that the reason it was left out of your databanks is because you needed extra memory to figure out your load pan training."

Crow and Tom stopped laughing, embarrassed by how slowly they had been 'potty trained'.

"Okay," Joel took stock of their current situation. "now we need to get back to the satellite."

Mike sat up and looked at his new 'roommates'. "How do we do that? It's not like we can just hail a cab or something. Can we?" He looked around the enigmatic chamber expecting a large yellow taxi to magically appear.

"Good question." Joel answered. "Well, questions technically. I have no idea where we are."

The tallest of the three Observers approached the group. "Stand together. I shall transport you back aboard your 'Satellite of Love'."

Crow and Tom looked at each other gleefully and cheered. "Alright!"

"Yes!"

"We get to transport again!"

"That's so cool!"

Joel offered his hand and helped Mike to his feet. The two humans and four robots stood together as a Observer nodded his head quickly. In a flash Joel, Mike, the bots and Observer were standing on the bridge of the satellite once more.

"Wooooo!" Tom cried out happily as he hovered uncomfortably close to Observer. "One more time! Just one more time, man! You gotta help me out!"

"No." He answered flatly and pushed the gumball machine robot away in abhorrent frustration.

Joel pulled Tom back. "Come on Tom, leave him alone. He's had a bad day."

Crow scoffed at the very sentence. "He had a bad day? What about us? What about poor Mel here?"

Mike corrected Crow. "It's 'Mike'."

"What did I say?"

"Mel."

"Close enough."

Observer took a few steps back from the eclectic crowd. "I must return to my own time and world. May our paths never cross again." He nodded his head and disappeared as quickly as he had initially appeared.

Joel put Tom on the desk and looked at Mike. "So, should I show you to your cabin?"

"That'd be great, but first, can we do something about this?" He pulled the chain of the leg iron up into view. "My leg's getting tired."

"Sure, I think I can get that off with a blow torch or a key or something."

"Key please!"

"Right." He looked over at Gypsy. "Hey Gypsy, can you bring my toolbox to the bridge please?"

"Roger!"

Mike watched curiously as the purple robot disappeared into the ships ducts and rafters, he black coil body slowly weaving its way to and fro.

"So, is Gypsy always so helpful?"

"Yeah, without her the ship wouldn't function nearly as well as it does."

Tom hovered uncomfortably close to Mike's face and stared at him for a moment before he hovered over to Crow, who was standing behind Joel. He was also carefully watching Mike, unsure of how he felt about the new human.

"What about those two?" Mike motioned toward Tom and Crow standing behind Joel.

"Crow here," Joel put his hand on Crow's shoulder. "is a wise cracker but he means well. And as for Tom Servo, he's likes to think he has knowledge of the world. And, uh, fair warning, these two tend to have a flare for the dramatic."

"Oh, okay." Mike noticed Cambot on the corner of his eye. "What about that camera who saved my butt at the trial?"

"That's Cambot. He records everything that happens on the ship and documents the result of the weekly experiment from the 'Mads'. He also acts as our only visual link to Dr. Forrester and Frank back in Deep 13."

"The 'Mads'?"

"It's what we call them, you know, the 'mad scientists' is just such a cliché."

"Oh."

"We call them other things too, but that's not for innocent ears to hear."

"Huh?"

"The experiments get broadcasted across the Earth, because Dr. Forrester wants to take over the world by subjecting the worlds' populous to the worst movie ever made, but all it did was give us a surprisingly large fan base and alot of support through fan mail. It helps us keep our sanity and stave off the really elaborate world domination plot just a little while longer."

Gypsy returned to the bridge with the black toolbox in her mouth. She set it down on the desk.

"Thanks Gypsy."

"You're welcome!"

Joel opened the tool box and began digging through it, looking for the proper tool to help Mike.

"Experiments?" Mike was still confused. "With movies?"

"Yeah, we don't really watch them though. We just riff and laugh at the absurd 'cinematic sin' we're forced to watch."

"Forced? How?"

"Electric shocks or he'll turn off the oxygen."

"Oh."

Crow leaned into Joel again. "Hey Joel?"

"Yes?"

"Did you notice that Mitch and-"

"'Mike'." He corrected while continuing his search.

"Did you notice that Mike and that Observer look an awful lot alike?"

"How so?" Joel pulled a Swiss Army knife from the box and began flipping through its many mechanical functions.

"Well, to me it's look like Mike just put on some white face paint, put some black around his eyes, grabbed a purple cloak and called himself an alien! It doesn't make sense!"

"Crow, I'm a human who got launched into space, built four sentient robots and watches bad movie after bad movie on a weekly basis. What's to make sense?"

"Good point."

"Got it!" Joel found the skeleton key attached to the small knife. "This should work."

Mike awkwardly put his leg up on the desk so Joel could pick the ankle lock. It was then Mike noticed a red light flashing on the desk. "Hey Joel, what's that?"

Joel looked over and saw the light. "Oh, the 'mads' are calling." He pressed the button.

Through the monitor that linked the satellite with Deep 13, the crew watched as Dr. Forrester appeared on screen with Frank. Frank himself was wearing a neck brace, halo, both arms were in casts, his jaw was wired shut and he was being propped up on a dolly. An array of multi-colored balloons with 'Get Well' written on them were tied to the dolly above Frank's head.

"Come in Joel, my little space cadet!"

"Hi sirs, what's going on?" Joel was back to working on the lock.

"Well, this week... we..." He noticed Mike standing next to Joel. "Say, don't I know you?"

"Me?" Mike feigned innocence. "I don't think so."

"No, no, no, I'm pretty sure we've met."

Frank's eyes widened with fear of more impending pain coming his way.

"No, I don't think we have."

"Hold on, did you attend the mad scientist convention in Vegas, about six years ago?"

"No."

There was a 'click' as the unlocked iron restraint fell away from Mike's leg and onto the floor with a heavy 'thud'. "Got it!" Joel happily announced.

Dr. Forrester continued trying to place Mike. "Were you the guy I trapped in an elevator for six hours?"

"No! Man, that would've been horrible!" Mike answered while rubbing at his sore ankle.

"Wait, I got it." A confident smirk crossed his face. "Mrs. O'Reilly's dance class, 1986, 'Mark', right?"

"Uh..." Mike looked at Joel and the bots momentarily before deciding to answer. "It's 'Mike' but, yeah, that must've been it."

"I knew it! I knew I recognized you from somewhere. But how in the blazes did you get aboard the Satellite of Love?"

"Um, I lost a bet..." He lied.

"With whom?"

"Frank." It was he first name that came to his mind.

"Frank!" Dr. Forrester turned around quickly and stared at his battered colleague. "Did you send an innocent man into space as recompense for a bet?"

Frank couldn't answer, only mumble incoherently.

Dr. Forrester interpreted Frank's spastic babble as a 'yes'. "Well that's excellent work Frank, very evil." He turned back to Joel. "Now, Joel, let's begin this week's invention exchange."

"Invention exchange? Didn't we just do this a few hours ago?"

"What are you talking about you jumpsuited space monkey? Has my experiment finally worked, or are you trying weasel your way out of this week's experiment?"

"No sirs, it's just, has it really been a full week already?"

"Yes, yes! Stop trying to toy with me, I'm far more intelligent and better looking than you'll ever be. Now, make with the invention!"

"Okay, geez..." Joel looked around the bridge for the latest project he had been tinkering with.

Mike quietly asked Joel about the situation. "Is it always like this?"

"Yeah, pretty much. After the invention exchange he'll send up our bad movie for the week."

"Wow, you'd think a guy wanting to take over the world would have experiment's take place on a daily basis, not weekly."

"Shhh!" Crow shushed Mike. "Don't give that smelly jerk any ideas!"

"Sorry..."

Joel pulled a large blue and white umbrella-like contraption from beneath the desk. "Ah, here we are!" He opened the umbrella over his head, covering Mike and the bots as well. "Okay. You know, I've always been annoyed by umbrellas, the way the water washes off and gets your back all wet anyway."

Tom chimed in. "I didn't know that."

"That's right. Joel continued, he pointed at the additions made to the umbrella overhead. "I've added a gutter system on the outside edge and a spout leading down."

Crow tagged on, "Toward your shoes!"

"Crow!" Tom scolded.

"What?"

Gypsy had been examining the device. "Great Scott, he's right!"

"No, no, no." Joel resumed the explanation confidently. "I got that covered too, you just point it out the back!"

Mike and the bots wee somewhat impressed. "Well, look at that. This is a good idea!"

"Simple..." Tom observed.

"Definitely simple!" Crow dryly added.

"But good!" Tom defended.

Gypsy spoke up again. "Can you make me one?"

"Sure."

"Hey," Mike had an interesting question in mind. "what do you call it?"

"Uh, gutter..."

Crow suggested, "Bumber?"

"Chute!" Tom threw in. "Hey, Gutter-Bumber-Chute! I like it!"

The bots started chanting together. "Gutter-Bumber-Chute! Gutter-Bumber-Chute! Gutter-Bumber-Chute!"

Dr. Forrester was not nearly as impressed or thrilled as the Satellite of Love crew. "Oh good God... Calm down! It's just an umbrella with gutters! Now here's how you do an invention exchange..."

He turned and saw Frank still wrapped up and too battered to assist him that week. "Oh, right. Well at any rate, our invention was an ingenious device used to put the average porcine speckled 'bratling', who's enjoying himself just a bit too much, in his place! You'd love to run over and push him down and take his bike, but that could be risky: Enter Dr. Forrester's 'Dream Buster'." He held up a dark rectangular device to the camera.

"You see those balloons? What this puppy does is set up a frequency of... well, it would take a scientist to explain... Just watch!" He pressed a button the device.

After a series of computerized beeps from the device the balloons above Frank's head suddenly popped! Frank let out childish but stifled cries of sorrow as bits of latex rained down onto his head and stuck in his hair.

Dr. Forrester, with a twisted grin of pleasure on his face resumed his explanation. "It has a range of sixty yards and that's an invention exchange! Back up to you Joel and Mike."

Mike looked to Joel and the bots with a combination of confusion and mild horror. "So how am I supposed to react when he shows me that kind of stuff?"

Crow answered matter-of-factually. "Try to act impressed."

"No!" Mike hated that idea.

"Well it's what he's looking for!"

Tom spoke up. "It's what he needs."

Gypsy added her opinion. "I like Joel's alot better."

Tom warmly sided with Gypsy. "Yeah, I agree. Joel simply used glue to attach those gutters! The more I think about the more beautiful it seems."

Gypsy, off topic, added another one of her opinions. "'Mike' is a very nice name."

Mike just grinned at her offbeat compliment.

There was an awkward silence between the six unlikely friends before Crow finally blurted out. "I feel like I'm in a traveler's ad."

Joel just shook his head at the bizarre conversation taking place around him.

Dr. Forrester was toying with Frank, who was completely helpless to the torment. Frank struggled to speak, but all anyone could understand was the word 'mom'.

"I'm your mother now Frank." Dr. Forrester backed off from his injured lackey. He looked back at the monitor to see Joel and Mike watching him in disgust. "Ah, the greenhorn." He was eager to see how Mike would react to watching bad movies. "It's almost time for your first experiment. These are experiments, you know? And you are a lab rat! LAB RAT!" He taunted with a twisted laugh. "LAB RAT! Send them the movie..."

He remembered once again that Frank couldn't move.

"Never mind." He pushed the transmission button himself.

Aboard the Satellite of Love the lights began flashing and a buzzer sounded off loudly. Joel pressed the yellow button and called out, "We've got movie sign!"

Joel, Crow and Tom headed toward the theater. Joel noticed Mike standing on the bridge looking around confused. "Let's go Mike!"

"Okay!" Mike took off down the elaborately designed hallway with the six numbered doors opening in sequential order, revealing the dark theater with a single row of seats inside. He watched as Joel carried Tom into the theater and put him in a seat before taking the seat to Tom's right. "Uh? Is there a pecking order?"

"Yes!" Crow answered coldly. "Keep moving!"

Joel easily ended the confusion. "Here, take my seat, I'll move down one." He picked up Tom and put the red bot in the seat to his immediate left.

"Thanks." Mike sat between Joel and Crow and watched nervously as the movie's title popped up on screen with the rest of the opening cast of credits. "Huh, these people will be exploring issues that are teens issues."

Everyone laughed at Mike's comment.

Tom complimented the blonde newbie. "Wow, right out of the gate!"

"Doing pretty good, huh?"

"Just give it time."

-The End

Author's Note: It's so hard to write comedy... it really, really is! But it makes me appreciate the creative geniuses behind MST3k that much more!

I thoroughly enjoyed the show from beginning to end, even the KTMV episodes from the seldom seen '0 Season'. The only thing I didn't like was losing Joel. Don't get me wrong, I like just fine, he's cracked me up more time than I can count! But I just preferred Joel's personality and joke delivery more than Mike's.

Both men are funny and creative geniuses and they both deserve recognition for the show. That's why I decided to create an alternate timeline where both men were stranded aboard the Satellite of Love together and had a chance to riff movies as a team!

Take it or leave it, I wrote it and I'm standing by it!