Chapter 9 - Getting to know you, getting to know all about you …
Harry brought Severus to his personal rooms, a master's suite comprised of a bedroom, bath, and sitting room, done in Harry's favorite emerald green with light wood accents. He led the way to a comfortable deep brown leather sofa placed before a merrily crackling fire in a granite fireplace. The pair seated themselves, and, hesitantly, Harry leaned back into Severus, his head bumping just under Severus' chin as Severus brought his arm around him, tucking him close.
"I wanted you to know that I never wanted to hurt you during Occlumency lessons," Severus said abruptly.
The thought was so far abreast from Harry's own, softer-and to confess, a bit steamier-thoughts, it took him a minute for his brain to catch up. "Oh, well, that's good," he said hesitantly. "I hadn't thought about it."
Severus snorted to himself. "I've been torturing myself with thoughts that you might resent me for them."
"Please don't," Harry said softly. "I've been meaning to apologize for invading your privacy for ages, and I never thought I'd get the chance."
"Please don't," Severus quipped back. "I could see that the lessons were making things worse, and under Dumbledore's eye, I couldn't do much to stop them. I left that pensive out on purpose. I'd hoped, maybe, you'd see me as a person, if you saw some of my own memories. And you could see some of my own embarrassing times, to balance out what I'd seen in yours."
Harry thought about that, not moving from his comfortable spot against Severus' chest. "You engineered the encounter so that the lessons could stop. Very Slytherin of you."
"Well, yes, that was the point," Severus admitted.
"I'm glad you did, in a way, though I wouldn't have chosen to deliberately hurt or embarrass you," Harry said quietly.
"I knew that, too," Severus replied. "I'd seen your memories, remember? Your bullying toerag of a cousin, your arse of an uncle. Tuney being the ridiculous snobby bitch she could be. I really wish I could have done something more about your placement there. But by the time I knew what Dumbledore had done-well, it was actually that fifth year. And the damage was done."
"Dumbledore," Harry nearly spat the name, tensing. "I know he claimed to have my best interests at heart, and certainly the war turned out the way he'd intended, but did he have to ensure my life was miserable in order to do so? No, don't answer that." Harry held a finger to Severus' lips, still not looking at him, still tucked under his chin. "I can respect the man and what he did for the world as a whole, but I resent not knowing my heritage. I resent being forced to live with a neglectful and borderline abusive family. And I resent being raised only to die for the good of the wizarding world. My survival was by no means guaranteed, and Dumbledore knew that. I suppose that's why he didn't bother with making sure I knew my heritage, my lordship, my responsibilities. No reason for me to learn if I was never going to be able to take up the mantle, was there? No, better for me not to be distracted by it." Harry snorted.
Severus tightened his arm around Harry, and lightly bit the finger blocking his lips so he could speak. "I had no idea so much was being kept from you. I knew, though, that Dumbledore had plots within plots, and thought ahead and around so many different possibilities that it was tough to keep up with him. He was a good man at heart, and he cared a great deal for you, but he needed you to play a role in order to end Voldemort. It's quite likely the-distraction-of your role in wizarding society was something he planned around. If you lived, of course, you could learn. If you didn't, well, the line would likely die out. I imagine he even planned a contingency should you father a child before your death, leaving an heir. But keeping you in the dark was to his advantage, and therefore, that's what happened." Severus drew a deep breath. "Very Slytherin."
They were both silent for a moment, then Harry settled himself more deeply into Severus' embrace, taking comfort. "Well, I lived, and I'm learning, though probably not from those whom Dumbledore would prefer, and my heritage explains a bit why the hat thought I'd do well in Slytherin."
Severus chuckled. "I wondered about that. How different things could have been if you'd been sorted into Slytherin. I could have had a more direct role in your care, that way."
"But then there might have been a risk that I'd see you as a father figure," Harry said slyly. "And that is definitely not how I see you right now."
"Nor do I see you, any longer, as a child, Harry," Severus deepened his voice, deliberately, then said, "I see you as an intriguingly handsome, incredibly sexy young man, whom I have much more to teach."
Harry shuddered, feeling the weight of the voice and and the words rushing through him. "And do you think I have anything to teach you?" he enquired.
"Loads," Severus continued, in that deep, silky voice. "How to be a partner, perhaps? I've never allowed myself to be in a relationship of any duration, whereas you have been married. You've learned how to accommodate another, how to work with a partner, how to compromise. I've some idea, but I'm not very good at being a team member. I can work with my role within a group, but I'll need help to become a true partner."
"Is that what you want, Severus?" Harry asked quietly. "To become my true partner?"
Severus thought seriously about that. Did he really want to partner with this incredible young man? Did he want to make this bond of theirs work? Bond or no, Severus well knew that they could choose the parameters of how they worked together within it. They would always be connected, but they could choose how that connection would work.
He leaned a bit, bring his other arm around Harry, turning him slightly so that he could bring their faces together. Cuddled into his arms this way, Harry felt safe, protected, even as his heart rate rose. They looked into each other's eyes for long moments, the question hanging out in front of them until Severus brought his lips close to Harry's.
"Yes," he said, with assurance. "I want to be your partner, Harry."
And then he claimed Harry's lips.
They kissed for long moments, softly, feeling the hum of the newly formed bond under their skins, the warmth of the fire, the heat rising in their bodies as Severus moved them, stretching out beside Harry on the sofa as they lay back, Severus rising over Harry to press him into the sofa, his tongue begging entrance into Harry's mouth. Harry parted his lips, and then there was more heat, and wet snogging, and …
The crack of apparition as Rissa popped into existence in front of them. "Master Harry, sir, I'm sorry to interrupt, but Mrs. Molly has arrived in the downstairs parlor. She wants to see you, sir."
What would bring Molly by at this time of night, Harry wondered, trying to catch his breath as Severus backed off, sitting up and offering a hand to his partner. Harry sat up, too, uncomfortably aware of the tightness in his trousers, the heat gathered in his cheeks, and the new fact that the mother of his late wife was just downstairs.
"Did she say why she was here, Rissa?" Harry asked calmly, trying to settle himself. Having never before felt such concentrated desire-marrying a woman to whom you were not really physically attracted provides few opportunities for carnality at this depth-he felt a bit clueless.
Severus nudged him. "Think about something truly horrid," he whispered. "Like Hagrid in a tutu."
Harry snorted a laugh as Rissa answered him. "She was wanting to put Master Jamie down for the night and not believing me when I told her he was already sleeping, sir." Rissa's eyes unfocused, then refocused. "And now she's on her way to the nursery."
"I'll head her off, Rissa," Harry said. He stood, straightened himself out, and thought about the COMC professor in a tutu. It helped, marginally. "Severus, if you would remain here? I'd prefer her not to know about your continued existence at this point."
"Of course, Harry," Severus said, squeezing Harry's shoulder gently. "I'll wait here. I'll glamour myself, if you don't mind, in case Molly decides to get pushy about your private space."
Harry nodded. "Probably best." He kissed the older man quickly, then strode out the door of his sitting room and down the hall to intercept his erstwhile mother-in-law. Former mother-in-law? He really needed to check with Lucius about the proper title for Molly now that her daughter was dead.
