Disclaimer: this chapter is a bit graphic at the end

6 Months Missing

Over the next few months, Alex and Olivia's relationship detioriates even more.

Alex refuses to let go of the guilt over what happened to Casey. Her mind is set that Charlie had something to do with it, and when Alex has her mind set, there is no changing it.

They came to a mutual decision to postpone the wedding. It wasn't the right time, and Alex was not in any shape emotionally to focus on it, though she would never admit it. It tore Olivia up to postpone the wedding they had been planning; but she would do anything for Alex, and she knew right now she had to be patient and support her.

Olivia supported her despite her own internal objections when she insisted on paying the rent on Casey's apartment until the lease was up. She watched Alex follow dead lead after dead lead on her Facebook page. She watched her hire not one, but three private investigators to investigate Charlie.

She has to watch the woman she loves run herself ragged. She sits in the DA chair now and has no Executive ADA to assist her so she takes on more work than one person should handle. She works twelve to thirteen hour days and then comes home and gets on Facebook or goes out and talks to people, desperately looking for Casey.

Their intimacy level is at a zero right now, and Olivia doesn't know how much more she can take. How long she can watch Alex self destruct and deny the truth.

One breaking point comes when Alex and Olivia are at Casey's apartment packing it up. The lease is up, and Alex intends to put Casey's belongings into their storage unit.

"Alex," Olivia says as she wraps the tape around a box and seals it. "You should donate some of this stuff. She has nice clothes. There are a lot of people in need."

Alex doesn't answer; she just continues to pack clothes into the boxes.

Olivia shoves the box aside and goes on. "Casey would want you to, Alex."

That causes Alex to stop. Her hand hovers over the blazer she was about to grab off the hanger. She slowly turns toward Olivia.

"She's going to want this stuff back when she's found," she says. "I can't just give away her stuff."

Olivia sighs, not knowing how to get through to the blonde.

It's been over six months, and anytime that anyone alludes to Casey not coming back, Alex flies into a fit of anger. She refuses to accept what Olivia has long known; that Casey is most likely dead and more than likely would never be found.

"We don't have room for all this stuff in our storage unit," Olivia reasons, trying a different approach.

Alex has her back to her, packing more into the boxes. "Then I'll rent another unit."

"Damnit Alex, stop this! Stop this right now!"

Alex turns around and looks at the brunette, her eyes wide in shock. She's genuinely surprised by Olivia's outburst.

"You paid the rent on her apartment for six months and I didn't say anything. I wanted to come over here and help you clear it out because I thought this might be some type of closure for you. I can understand keeping some things, absolutely, but Alex - there is no reason to keep all these clothes and absolutely everything she owns! It's not feasible, and it's not healthy for you to hang on so tightly. I'm really worried about you."

Alex sits down on Casey's bed. She turns to face Olivia, a look of sadness on her face. "I just can't give up. I refuse to believe she is just gone. It's my fault she went out that night and didn't come back, because I was too selfish to be there for her."

Alex doesn't talk much about it. She's never been one to talk about her feelings, even to Olivia. She keeps them bottled up inside, even the strongest emotions that eat away at her. She puts on a brave face and plows through.

Olivia gets up and sits beside her on the bed. Normally Alex would lean into her shoulder or take her hand, but she just sits rigid and still, looking straight ahead at Casey's closet.

"I know I've told you this a thousand times and you won't believe me no matter what, but it was not your fault, Alex."

Alex closes her eyes and when she opens them, a tear slowly rolls down her cheek. This time she doesn't even try to stop it. "Yes, it is. I didn't keep a promise. She was always there for me - always. She would have left court if I had needed her. And I couldn't even…" Alex angrily wipes away another tear, upset with herself for allowing her resolve to crumble so easily.

"I know you feel deeply, and the feeling of being responsible is something you won't let go of. But Alex, it's destroying your life. And it's destroying mine as well. I don't even have you anymore."

Alex sits there and silently listens to Olivia.

"You overwork yourself and forget to eat most of the time. You're exhausted all the time because you don't sleep. When you do get home from the office, you start working again on this mission to find Casey. Alex, honey, it is okay to look for her. But not at the expense of everything else in your life. You need to fill that Executive ADA position so you have some help at work. You haven't even let anyone pack up her office. Do you know how unhealthy this is?"

"There is not one person at that office I would trust with that job, other than Casey," Alex says flatly.

Olivia sighs. "Then recruit someone from a different office. Jesus, Alex - you were told a month ago that her office needed to be cleared out and you needed to pick a replacement. That's what you need to be focusing on."

Alex finally meets Olivia's eyes. Her soft brown orbs reflect worry and hurt, and it makes Alex ache deep inside to know she is causing it.

"Casey is out there somewhere and everyone has given up on her, but I won't. No amount of words is going to change that. I'm responsible for her being gone and I will damn well find her. No matter how long it takes or what I have to do. She's out there counting on us, don't you care?"

Olivia covers Alex's hand with her own. "Of course I care. But Alex, we have found nothing to suggest that she was taken. You've had three different private investigators follow Charlie, and they all told you the same thing. He did nothing suspicious. You didn't like what they said, so you hired someone else. When you think you're right about something you are headstrong. And that's definitely a good thing to be in your job, honey, but not in your every day life."

Alex is silent for a moment, and she briefly looks away from Olivia. Very slowly she turns her head and asks, "You still think she ran away? Or she's dead?"

"I don't know," Olivia admits. "I know it's hard to imagine what could have happened without some type of evidence. I don't know what happened, but I don't believe Charlie had anything to do with it."

Alex can't believe that Olivia - a woman with the biggest heart and most compassion for victims she has ever known - could dismiss a woman abuser so easily. Knowing what he did to Casey in the past, and the fact that he was trying to get back into her life was all Alex needed to know for her to decide he was guilty

She can see right through his charades; why can't Olivia, a trained detective?

Alex's face is set and expressionless as she says, "You're wrong, Olivia. So wrong."

Immediately Alex gets back up off the couch and starts packing more clothes and shoes into boxes. She works quickly, without further acknowledging her fiancee still sitting on the bed.

Knowing that Olivia doesn't agree with her - that she wants Alex to let go - is making it difficult for Alex to be with her. They are on separate sides when normally they are in sync and together. Alex feels like Olivia doesn't trust her.

"Do you want to talk about Casey?" Olivia asks softly. "You never do. It might help."

Alex shakes her head. "No. It makes me too sad."

Olivia smiles softly. "I'm glad you two were friends. I thought you were going to hate each other. I was thrilled when you hit it off." She pauses. "You never told me how you guys became friends anyway. It was just like one day you were BFFs."

Alex closes the drawer she just emptied and turns around, leaning against the heavy oak dresser. "It was that Christmas party we had at the apartment five years ago. Remember, when she threw up all over our new carpet? Like, everywhere? I was so mad."

Olivia laughs. "Oh I remember! You thought she was drunk. You were definitely quite pissed off."

"Then I felt like an ass when me and Finn had to take her to the emergency room a couple hours later because she couldn't stop throwing up, and found out she had food poisoning. I felt like the biggest bitch on Earth for yelling at her about the carpet. After she came back to work, she brought Chinese food to my office as an 'apology' and we talked over lunch, and we were pretty much friends after that."

Olivia smiles in response. "I was always glad you had a good friend. Someone besides me. That you could, you know, complain about me to."

Alex avoids eye contact with Olivia, not wanting her to see the tears in her eyes again. "She's the best friend I've ever had. I never really had many friends. Just acquaintances. But she was different. She didn't care about my job, or what I looked like, or about my past. She was accepting and intelligent and fun to be around. She always made me laugh, even when it was inappropriate. She was always there for me. She tried to be our surrogate, how many people would do that? And last year when I had that scare with that cyst in my breast, she put my mind at ease. I was so scared and crying to her one day that if I had cancer and had to get chemo I would lose my hair and I couldn't deal with it. She had held my hand and let me cry myself out then she told me she'd shave her head with me so I didn't have to be alone. And she would have done it. Without a doubt, she would have done it for me."

Alex clears her throat and continues. "I just - miss her, Liv. I really hope that wherever she is that she's okay."

"Sweetheart," Olivia says, rising and going to stand next to the blonde. She puts her hand on Alex's arm to pause her packing while she talks to her. "Would you consider going into therapy? I know it helped you after witness protection. I think you have deep rooted emotions that you need to get out. It kills me to see you like this "

Alex sighs, going back to packing. It's like a retreat for her; she can throw herself into finding Casey, and it at least makes her feel like she is doing something to help her. "I have no time to do that, Liv."

"Alex," Olivia's voice is still sympathetic but also stern. "I need you to do something - please. I can't watch you like this. We don't even have a relationship anymore, and something has to change. I really need you to try, Alex, please."

Alex slowly turns and picks the box she was packing into off the bed. She barely looks at Olivia as she nods and heads out the bedroom door with the box.

Olivia leans forward and puts her head in her hands. She loves Alex; but it's becoming harder to keep loving her.

.2

It's gotten colder now, and on this visit Charlie brings Casey a hoodie and a flannel blanket.

"Thank you," she says, barely above a whisper as she slides the oversized hoodie on over her tee.

Charlie's visits have been erratic the past few months. Sometimes regular; sometimes days in between. He tells Casey he is working a lot, making money for "them."

Casey's body has healed from her early wounds, though she has a limp in the leg she was shot in when she gets up to walk. She's still confined by her shackles but Charlie has been better about letting her wash and get clean clothes. He has also kept her stocked up on other necessities - toilet paper, tampons, and sometimes magazines or books.

Even though her old wounds have healed, her new ones are still fresh. She's beaten frequently when she doesn't comply with what Charlie wants.

When she won't say "I love you" she usually just gets a beating. It's painful but she's learned to deal with it and play nurse on herself. If she takes off the engagement ring, her punishments are usually more severe. He whipped her until her back was bloody on one occasion. Then he pulled a tooth out with pliers on another.

Her left hand had been broken months ago and never healed correctly; she can't use the hand properly.

Casey had stood up to Charlie. She has dignity and won't let anyone - not even someone keeping her captive - do anything to her that she doesn't want done.

But it's been so long now; so many days of fear and pain, that she's beginning to give up the fight. She's tired of living in agony and being afraid of every sound. Things would be so much easier if she just did what Charlie asked.

And when she thinks this way, it makes her cry because she hates herself. How can she be so weak? How can she just give in to escape pain? That isn't who she is.

She thinks about her friends often and wonders if they are still looking for her. Charlie told her it's been six months. She's probably presumed dead by now.

Alex and Olivia are married by now. Wish I could have been there; I missed my best friend's wedding. I hope they are happy and went on a nice honeymoon.

She still holds onto the little ounce of hope that remains inside her that someone will rescue her one day.

Charlie looks at Casey in the hoodie, and Casey's heart catches in her throat as she recognizes the lust in his eyes. She's seen it and fought him off more times than she could count, always receiving a beating for it.

"I think it's time we became intimate again. You have resisted me long enough. I've been taking care of you. We need to resume our life together," he says softly, stroking Casey's hair.

Casey's stomach lurches at his touch. Anytime he lays his hands on her she feels cold and violated.

"Charlie, I've told you. We don't have a life together."

He traces the outline of Casey's cheekbones, moving in closer. Without warning he leans in and kisses her.

Casey is horrified. She goes to slap him, but he catches her hand and squeezes it until she cries out. "Want me to break this one too? Huh? The hammer is still down here. Want me to break this one too?"

Tears are rolling down Casey's cheek and she doesn't kiss him back, but she doesn't fight him off anymore either. She doesn't want her other hand broken.

He leans up and in one motion takes his shirt off. Casey immediately knows what he wants and she balls up tightly, trembling and trying to use words to stop him.

He tells her to remove her clothes. She is crying as she shakes her head and whispers, "No, please."

He slaps her hard across the face several times; that she can deal with. It's much better than the alternative.

"Do it now, Casey!" Charlie yells again.

Casey continues to shake her head, and this time Charlie roughly grabs her knee and forces her legs down. She tries to knee him in the crotch but he's sitting on top of her legs so she's unable to move much.

He removes his belt and underwear, and by this time Casey is fighting hard. She is digging her nails into his arms, yelling, doing whatever she can to stop him.

"Stop fighting me! It's been long enough! You will cooperate with me."

Casey is full on crying now as Charlie takes her shirt off and unclasps her bra. "I will not! I don't want this, please Charlie, stop!"

She can feel her strength running out. In her position there's only so much she can do, and her desperate clawing at Charlie is having no effect.

"Go ahead and keep fighting. I'll stay here on top of you until you cooperate. Until you want me." He lowers his mouth and licks Casey's cheek, causing her to cry even more. "I'll stay here for days if I have to."

After several long moments of struggling, the fight goes out of Casey. She goes limp, her body sore from too many beatings. She struggles to catch her breath and Charlie takes off her pants and then her panties.

He starts talking dirty, and Casey just squeezes her eyes closed and goes somewhere else in her head as Charlie rapes her.

Next few chapters you see Alex becoming what she is in Sunk Cost Fallacy. Do you think Casey will ever be found? What are your predictions?