Grand Theft Auto – Burk Edition

Chapter 9 – Old Fashion Train Robbery

Hiccup and Snotlout sat in the living room of Lout's small house on the outskirts of Los Santos watching the morning cartoons, awaiting job assignments for the day. "You think the boss is giving us a second day off?" Muttered Snotlout.

"Not a chance," laughed Hiccup. "Assignments will be out within the minute."

As if hearing Hiccup's statement, both of their phones spat out text alert tones. They both dug into their pockets and fished out their iFruits, eager to get to work.

Group Msg. Everyone meet at my app. ASAP

"Uhh, maybe she wants to give assignments in person?" wondered Hiccup.

"No, I think we got a score to take!" Yelled Lout. "Aww yeah!"

"Whatever it is we ought to get there quickly. Don't want to piss off the boss lady. Ride together or separate?"

"Separate. Never know when we might need two cars. Last one there sucks shit!" Yelled Lout as he vaulted over the back of the couch and out the door. Hiccup grabbed his keys and followed him out, unlocking his Dominator and his cousin aggressively backed out of his driveway and into the street. He gunned it down the road as Hiccup slid across the hood of his car and jumped into the seat. Pressing the petal down, he flew down the side street and onto the main road back into the downtown aria. Electing to take the slightly longer route with the highway, as his muscle car would move faster there, he quickly put the Dominator through its paces by weaving in and out of traffic as he rapidly approached Astrid's apartment building. Pulling off the Highway, Hiccup passed the skyscraper under construction across from the building in no time and pulled hard on the hand break, sliding around into the oncoming traffic lane, thankfully empty, before coming to a stop right at the curb having done a complete 180 to park. He barely had time to get out of his car before his cousin came around on the side street on the fastest route from his house.

"Oh, now that's some grade A bullshit right there. How did you manage that?" Exclaimed Lout as he got out of his car.

Hiccup just snorted "Simple – I'm better than you." As they walked into the building and into the elevator, riding up to the top floor while Lout just snorted. Arriving on the top floor, the two walked up to Astrid's door to find the twins waiting to be let in.

"'Sup, bitches." Nodded Tuffnut as the pair joined them at the door. The door opened and Astrid waved them in. Sitting on the couch by the windows were Toothless and Fishlegs, as well as a middle-aged man holding a cane with quite a few papers on the coffee table in front of them.

"Well, Introductions are in order," Started Astrid. "Hiccup, meet Lester. He's our Information specialist and helps us find jobs as well as scores to take." Hiccup nodded at Lester. "Lester, this is the newbie we told you about."

"Well," Lester said, "You've joined a strong crew. And if we pull of this take we'll have the funds to stay one step ahead of the Red Death. They've been a pain in our side for quite a long time now."

"So we've got a score?" Asked Ruffnut.

"Damn right we do," Grinned Toothless. "How do you like western movies?"

"Westerns?" Muttered Tuffnut. "That's still a genre of movies?"

"A tale as old as time," Sighed Lester. "The bandits ride up to a train, board it, take the valuables, and ride off into the sunset."

"Yeah? In the movies it's usually the hero that does the sunset riding." Pointed out Hiccup.

"Well, yeah." Conceded Toothless. "But I would rather ride into the sunset with ten million dollars' worth of gold."

"Say again? Ten million?" Asked Fishlegs, his eyes wide.

"Ten Million." Confirmed Lester. Coming into Los Santos by train from the north. And I happen to know which train has the gold and which ones are decoys."

Astrid stood up, "The plan on paper is simple. Stop the train. Transfer the gold from the box car to our getaway vehicle. Run before anyone realizes what's going on. However," She said, silencing the several people about to object about the term 'simple', "Nothing in our line of work is ever that simple. So the plan is to stop the train in a tunnel on the west side of the Alamo Sea where we'll be hidden from praying eyes. Also for this job, we'll have three teams. Red team is the twins, you're on rear defense. No one comes into the tunnel to interrupt us. Gold team is Toothless, Fishlegs, and myself. We're grabbing the gold. The getaway vehicle will need to be a heavy duty off road truck of some form, so Fishlegs is driving, as you have the most experience with those types of vehicles. Blue team, you guys have the fun job: Stopping the train."

"Aww yeah! Demo time!" cheered Snotlout.

Not quite," Astrid frowned. "We can't risk the gold being damaged so no explosives. 'Lout used to work in the train yard at the LS Port, so you know the basics to operate a train. You, as well as Hiccup, will need to board the train while it's still moving, make your way to the engine, kill or disable the engineer, and stop the train in the tunnel. Then, you guys mirror Red team, watch the other end of the tunnel and keep people out. Every team needs a getaway vehicle, red team will drive it into the tunnel and use it for cover, so make it armored. Gold team needs an almost literal tank, incase heat shows up. Blue team can stash their ride nearby. You have the most risk because you won't be right on top of your ride."

"What if we use Bikes to jump onto the train, and start the train after you get the gold then jump back off?" Asked Hiccup.

Lester scratched his chin, "That might work. You would need to practice jumping the train on bikes. I suggest using the Sanchez dirt bike."

"So everyone needs to use today to prepare. Grab your vehicles, stock up on ammo and body armor, and go to the cable car station north of the tunnel for the job. Any questions?" Astrid asked the room. Seeing everyone shake their heads, she said, "Keep a low profile. The Red Death is likely still looking for us. No unnecessary attention will mean an easier job. I'll see you all at the cable car station."

Everyone nodded and got up, walking out of the apartment. Snotlout ran up to Hiccup and said, "Yo, so, if we leave our cars here and walk down to the used car shop a few blocks down, we can look at stealing two bikes for your insane idea."

"Sounds good. You think we can do the stunt?"

"No," snorted Snotlout. "But if not we can improvise."

"Fair enough." Laughed Hiccup as they rode the elevator down to the street. Walking out onto the sidewalk they began to move towards the dealership.

As they were walking down the street, Snotlout lit a cigarette and asked, "So… you've been here for a few weeks now. You into any chicks yet?"

Hiccup snorted, "Yeah, emphasis on 'few weeks'. That's only enough time to get a one night stand. And I've been a little busy for one of those too. The whole crew thing ring a bell?"

"Come one cuz, you got to get out more! Live life! Get laid!"

Hiccup glared at his cousin "How about I get money first, fuck bitches later."

Snotlout burst out laughing "Oh shit, I had forgotten how funny you were. Well, it's settled. After this job I'm taking you out and setting you up with a hot chick."

"You actually know hot chicks? Sense when?"

"Oh, shut up. Where here, anyway."

The lot in front of them was filled with cars, all of them squeezed together to fit the most in the space. More cars were parked around back in the alley behind the dealership. "There." Said 'Lout after a few seconds of scanning the lot. "And there's two of them."

The bikes he pointed out were way back in the alley, behind several cars. There was not enough space to squeeze them through to the street. "How the hell are we going to get those?" Mumbled Snotlout.

"Easy," Replied Hiccup, as he walked into the lot. "We drive over the cars."

"Why did I even ask?" Muttered 'Lout as he followed his cousin.

Hiccup vaulted over two cars and shimmied between the wall and a third one to get to his goal: two green dirt bikes. Snotlout ran up behind him from the open door at the back of the dealership with two sets of keys. "We likely have less than thirty seconds before someone sees us and tries to stop us. Let's do this quickly."

Hiccup just mounted the first one and stepped onto the kick start. The bike roared to life. Without waiting to see if anyone was onto them, he pressed the accelerator and leaned back into a wheelie. He hit the first car and rode up and over it, setting off the alarm. As he got to the hood, he repeated the process to climb over the next two cars before riding off into the street. Looking back, he watched his cousin ride off the last car and land wrong, causing him to slip off the bike. Three men ran from the dealership at 'Lout as he loudly cursed the bike, which had skittered several feet away. Hiccup just rolled his eyes and spun the bike around, now driving back at the dealership. He blew past Snotlout and slammed into the first dealer, sending him sprawling. Spinning around and coming to a stop, he leaped from his bike and charged the second, seeing the cousin take on the third. The dealer swung wildly at hiccup, who just leaned to the side letting the man trip over his outstretched leg. He went face first into the ground and hiccup stomped the back of his head to keep him there. He turned around just in time to see Snotlout nail his enemy with a vicious right cross, sending him to the pavement. Nodding to each other, they leaped back onto the bikes and booked it through town.


Hiccup and Snotlout walked out of the Ammunation with newly purchased carbine rifles in their backpacks as 'Lout called Astrid on speaker.

"Yo, we have all of our prep gear ready, and we'll practice the stunt on our way north. You guys ready yet?"

"Yes," Came the voice of Astrid, "Were finishing the armor plating on the Dubsta 6X6 right now. The twins just called, their on their way here now. Get here quickly, we have a hotel for the night."

"Alright, see you soon." He said and hung up. "Well, we've got a long ride ahead of us. And we need to practice the suicide maneuver too. Let's get moving.


It's happening! HEISTS MOTHERFUCKER! And after a few weeks of procrastination and slamming my head into my desk I'm actually kind of happy with how this turned out. Next chapter soon! -OMOB