After Kevin left, I stared blankly at the wall. I didn't sleep, at all…you can interpret it the way you want. That was pretty much the best answer out of that whole short conversation I was going to get, I let out the breath I didn't realize I was holding in after I heard his door close. I'm losing it…

"I hate you." I stared at the picture I had of the band on my wall. I hated myself, I hated Kevin…I genuinely just hated everyone and everything right now…and I knew it was unfair, but right now, I just didn't care.

My mind began to slowly shut down, like I was in autopilot mode. I knew I wasn't sleeping because the light that slowly began to enter my room signaled that it was already morning. Man…I did not want to get up, I did NOT want to face the world, and I definently didn't want to sit in a vehicle with Kevin for the day. I should just tell him how I was feeling. No, I shouldn't have to, he didn't deserve it…but didn't he? He apologized…he told me he loved me…he kissed me…oh god… he kissed me. The fact we were brothers didn't really much bother me, I kind of gotten over that within the last few months to a year. I honestly could give a shit less about the incestuous part… yet I still couldn't handle my own feelings, let alone my brothers.

My mind wandered to the kiss, Kevin's lips were soft…or maybe they were, I didn't get a chance to tell, being the idiot I am and freaking out on him in all my anger. Sigh. Life was unfair. I was being unfair to Kevin…he just put his heart out there to try and explain something I still couldn't completely comprehend fully…and it felt as if I just stomped on him. Sure I was hurting…but…

I sighed as I heard the door to Kevin's room open in the distance, and my mother say something that I didn't catch. I knew he was going to shower…it was probably around 8 something now anyways…man…I really didn't sleep at all.

My stomach grumbles, signaling I needed to eat, but I was scared to leave the presence of my own room. Not wanting to take any chances of seeing Kevin before I would have to.

"Nick, sweetie, you up?"

I groaned and looked towards the door. My mother gave me a warm smile. "Five more minutes mom…"

"Five more minutes."

Thank god.

As the door to my room shut, I swung my legs over and stood up, grabbing my towel and heading out my room as quietly and as quickly as possible, getting to the bathroom Frankie and I shared and jumped in the shower. The water was refreshing, and cleared my head for a short time before I had to leave the warmth and dry off.

"Morning son." Came the low voice of my father as I passed our parents room and headed to my own.

"Morning." I said before slipping into my room and grabbing a pair of pants, slipping them on along with a misfits t-shirt, which was actually Kevin's that I never gave back, and my red converse, heading down the hallway. I guess Kevin was out of the shower; no one was in their bathroom as I passed it and headed down the stairs.

Well there you go. I entered the kitchen just as Kevin was finishing up one of his toaster waffles and looking up at me briefly before he looked away. My heart sank…I felt horrible now…even after all he's done…I felt horrible…I felt responsible.

"Morning Kevin." I tried to smile, but failed miserably. He looked up into my eyes and I could see he hadn't slept very well. I sighed as I grabbed the milk out of the fridge and poured some cereal. But as I sat down to eat it…my appetite vanished.

"By boys, Frankie's going over to Mitchell's and your father and I are running errands, behave!"

I heard the front door close, and Kevin and I were alone…besides Joe sleeping like a rock upstairs probably waking in a few hours with the world's worst hangover. As I stared longingly into my bowl of cereal I broke the silence.

"I love you too." I trailed off. My voice was shaky and I hadn't realized I had spoken aloud, only replaying last night and what I so long had wanted to say.