Alright. I stand corrected. This is the second-to-last chapter. I really hope you like it! No suprise, I don't own anything you recognize.
Enjoy!
May 13, 2010
Kate Beckett stood leaning against the side of a Central Park coffee cart. She had already bought her own steaming cup, and was waiting for Castle to show. She had thought about it on her walk here, and still couldn't figure out what he could possible need her for.
A warm breeze played with her hair while she scanned the park. Soon enough, she noticed him coming down the path. Strange, she thought, he certainly didn't look like his cheery self. And, now that she thought about it, he didn't exactly sound so great on the phone last night.
Rick Castle slowly made his way up to the coffee cart. His feet just barely making it off the ground. He felt as if there were two hundred pound weights on his shoulders. His head was throbbing, and his stomach was raw. Coffee probably wasn't a good idea. But why the hell should he care right now?
"Morning Castle," Kate said, raising her eyebrows at his state of dishevelment.
A small "hey," was the only reply she got. Something was definitely up. She watched him order coffee with as few words as possible. No smile, no jokes even. He turned back to her, sipping from the small plastic lid.
"You, uh, want to go sit somewhere Castle?"
"Sure," he started, and pointed toward a large oak tree on a nearby hill, "how about there?"
"Looks perfect."
Kate didn't know what to say at all. Usually, at this point in the morning Castle was already talking her ear off. This was new territory for her, to have him be so quiet. She didn't like it one bit.
Slowly the two walked side-by-side to the tree, and sat down, shaded by its wide branches. Not a word passed between them.
"So Castle," Kate said as she leaned back against the tree's trunk, "what's this about. I've never known you to want to just talk. Let alone actually admit you need my help with something."
The lack of rebuttal was all the evidence she needed to conclude that there was, without a doubt, something wrong. Instantly her thoughts jumped to Alexis. But if that were the case there was no way he would've waited all night to do something, aside from the fact that he'd be bouncing off the walls right now. No, she thought, this was something he couldn't handle, and that meant it was something big.
Sighing Rick reached into his coat pocket. "Well…" He plopped the letter down on the grass in between them, and just stared at it.
"What's this?" Kate asked, reaching for the envelope.
"Letter from my father." He continued to examine the blades of grass next to his left knee.
Kate wrinkled her brow in confusion. "Your father?"
"Yup. My father." Rick slid down the tree until he was lying in the grass, parallel to Kate. His head propped up by a root.
"But I thought you didn't know him."
"I didn't…I…don't. But apparently my mother has known all my life, and never told me."
Kate simply looked down at the distraught man beside her, willing him to continue.
"She says that she met him during that first summer she was in New York. He saw her show and asked her out, and then, you know, they fell in love, and all that jazz. You know, like in all those romance novels you say you don't like."
Kate rolled her eyes before allowing him to keep going.
"Anyway, fast forward a couple of months. She finds out she's pregnant and goes to tell him. But when she gets there he tells her that he has to leave and go back to England because he's engaged. And then…. she got mad and left. Never heard from him again."
"Well, Castle, it sounds to me like Martha did what almost any woman would've done in her position." She paused as Rick rolled over on his stomach, resting his chin on his hands. "I mean, some guy leads you on for a whole summer, makes you fall in love, makes you think he returns the sentiment, and then he leaves? And it certainly doesn't help that the whole time he was engaged to some other woman. Hell, she was this guy's other woman, and he didn't even respect her enough to keep her safe."
Rick sighed, pushing himself up on his elbows. "I get that, I really do. But she's been writing to him."
"What?"
"Yea," he started with a hint of anger in his voice, "she's written him letters almost every year of my life. I just don't see how it's taken him nearly forty years to actually respond. She said this is the first time he has."
"Well, do you believe her?"
"I…yes, I guess do. I don't think she would've been able to keep it form me if he had written before now. You've met my mother. She has no filter."
Rick let himself laugh with her for a moment. It felt good. "Besides, it wouldn't make sense for her to choose now to give me a letter, if there were more before it. I just don't know what to do." He lifted his eyes up to meet hers. "I didn't sleep at all last night."
Well that explained the tote bags she saw underneath his eyes.
Kate fiddled with the edges of the envelope in her hands. It was pretty much in perfect condition, save a couple of wrinkles from riding around in a pocket. And it didn't take a detective to see that it was still sealed.
"So you haven't read it?"
"I – can't. It's just too much to take in at once." He moved to a sitting position against the tree. He draped his arms over his kneecaps, and tilted his head back against the wood. "I've waited my whole life for just a hint, a taste of who he was, and now it turns out that my mother's known exactly that the whole time."
Carefully Kate reached over and put her hand over his arm. She looked him dead in the eyes when he turned his head.
"Castle, you have to read it. If you don't you're just going to keep wondering. And trust me, not knowing, and remembering that you can, will eat away at you. Sometimes…ignorance is certainly not bliss."
For a few moments the pair stayed silent. Listening to the sounds of vendors calling out prices, children running and playing, dogs barking, birds chirping. There was so much life around them.
Finally, Kate couldn't take it anymore. She shoved her finger underneath the fold and tore open the seal. Rick watched in wonder as she pulled out the letter, unfolded it, and put it in his hands.
"Here," she said as she closed his fingers over the paper, "if you can't read it to yourself, read it to me. Out loud."
He shot her a look of disbelief out of the corner of his eye.
"Will you just listen to me for once!" She huffed. "Pretend you're reading me one of your books.
Hardly trying to hide his frustration, Rick took a deep breath and began to read.
Richard,
I believe the first thing I should say is, please, don't be upset with your mother. Martha is a spectacular woman, and I know for a fact that she loves you very much. What happened between her and I is entirely my fault. I was an ass for allowing myself to hurt her as I did. All I can ask is that you allow me to explain, as best I can.
All Rick could do to keep himself together was pause. Kate could see the tension in his face, and did the only thing she could think of. She took her hand off of her lap and placed it on his shoulder. She felt him let out a breath. Waiting for him to keep reading.
I don't know if Martha's told you anything, but we met in the summer of 1970. What a summer it was! I had seen her in a show on Broadway and became absolutely enamored with her. She was breathtaking. I even pulled the secret admirer card and sent her a ridiculous amount of flowers and told her. I waited for her after the show and took her to dinner. Obviously, our date turned into much more. I can't speak for her, but those were the most romantic months of my life.
It's true that I was engaged at the time. To the woman who is now my wife. The two of us were arranged to be married when we were too young to know what was being said. I hated the prospect, and so, I fled and went to New York. After meeting Martha, well, I tried everything I could to stop the wedding, but I was told that I would be completely disowned. I just couldn't bare the thought of putting my family through such shame, and I hated myself for pulling Martha into my life in such a way. The only solution I could think of was to leave, and save her from myself.
The night I told her I was leaving was the night she told me she was pregnant with you. And I just let her walk out and leave. The first time I heard from her after that was on your birthday. April 1, 1971. Well, I suppose it was shortly after that, but that was when she wrote the letter. For years she wrote me letters on your birthday. Just telling me about you. About your books, Alexis. I could never bring myself to write back.
I'm sure by know you're wondering why I'm writing now. I really don't have a good answer for you. The honest truth is that my wife found Martha's most recent letter and gave me an ultimatum. She told me that I needed to do something, and if I didn't, she would. The least I could do was save you from having to deal with her. Just imagine an English Gina.
All I can say to you Richard is that I am truly sorry for everything I've done. I should have never put your mother in such a position, and I should have had the decency to be responsible and help, or respond to her letters. But from what I've read you are more than she could have ever asked for. She tells me everything about you. She says you are a fantastic novelist – even sent me one of your novels, Flowers For Your Grave. I must say you are gifted.
She's also told me about Alexis. I'm glad to know that you're a better father than I. She sounds like a wonderful girl. There's not a doubt in my mind that she will follow in her father's footsteps and do great things.
After stealing a glance at the next lines, Rick let out a small laugh before continuing.
I know that you've been following a Detective Beckett around, as well. Your mother seems to think that she's been a good influence on you. And I'm sure she hasn't said anything to you about it, but it worries her, having you so close to danger. You have to remember that you're all she has. So, for her sake, try to be careful.
I don't expect much to come of this letter. I know that you've made quite a life for yourself and I have no desire to intrude on it. I can only hope that I've given you some answers, maybe some peace of mind. I'm not telling you that you should reply to this; I wouldn't be surprised if you chose not to. But even though I'm halfway around the world, and have never actually met you, I'm proud of you Richard.
With love and regret,
Edward
The air was still as Rick finished reading and dropped the letter onto the grass in front of him. The words still hadn't fully sunken in. Kate sat silent beside him. She had returned her had to its place in her lap, and was leaning against the tree again.
She was the first to break the silence.
"Here's how I see it." They both stared off into the park as she spoke. "You've made it through your whole life without him. And you did a damn fine job. Better than fine, in fact. You're a great father, Castle. Alexis is so lucky. And you're a brilliant writer. You have no idea how much your books touch people. And most importantly," with this she finally turned to look him in the eye, "you are an amazing son. Martha loves you more than anything. And, there aren't too many men out there who would offer to let their mothers move in with them, and still want to be around them. Besides, there's no way she would've written to this guy if she wasn't, in some part of her mind, looking to brag.
"And that's something that he's never going to have. A son like you. Even if you did decide to contact him, he can never be your Dad. The one who teaches you how to ride a bike or helps you with your homework."
"Come on now Beckett, do you honestly think I ever did my homework?"
Again she rolled her eyes. "My point is…he's the one who made the decision. Not you. You shouldn't beat yourself up over something that you can't change."
She reached over to where the envelope was laying. The breeze was gently blowing the ends back and forth. Once she had inspected it one last time, she refolded it, and put it back in its envelope.
"But I can't tell you what to do, Castle. Alexis can't tell you what to do, and your mother can't tell you what to do." Kate handed him the letter before standing up. She bent down, offering him her hands, and pulled him to his feet. "The only one who can make the right choice is you."
"Yea," he sighed, "I know."
"Oh, and Kate?" He asked as they reached the path.
"Yes, Castle?"
"Thanks. You know, I can usually fend for myself pretty well, but I really appreciate your help. I just…needed someone to talk to. I'm glad you could be that person."
Kate smiled at his confession, biting her lip ever so slightly. "Me too, Castle. Me too. Now, I have to get to work. I'm assuming you're not coming in today?"
The nod of his head answered her question. "But give me a call if you need to talk again. Unless we get a case I should be off at five."
"Sounds good. And I mean it." Before Kate knew it she was wrapped in a hug.
"Thanks."
"No problem," she said pulling out of his grip, "I'll give you a call later. See how things are going."
Quickly the two made their final goodbyes, and turned in their respective directions to leave the park.
Kate Beckett was going to make the world a better place.
Richard Castle to make a choice.
Well? Tell me what you think? The next chapter should be up fairly quickly. Yay! Thanks to everyone who's been reading and reviewing!
:-D
