This will be a long chapter, sorry about that :P
Courtney Miller
Tonight will be special, YouTube is throwing Smosh a party for their ten years on the site, can you believe that? They're the Godfathers of YouTube, who were the first users during the site's humble beginnings. It's crazy to know they they've been doing this job for a decade.
Ten. Friggin'. Years.
It was another day, a day filled with shooting Vine videos, editing it and many more. However, this day will definitely be special for everyone working in the Smosh Empire.
Quite odd, though, I haven't seen any of those two dorks this afternoon. The last time I did was earlier today, they were dressed like Indiana Jones, both of which said that they will be shooting some videos.
I stayed inside the office or what we'd call the "Smoffice" where we would usually brainstorm ideas and do random and funny shit. I sat there editing some photos to be used tonight.
"Hey Court." A squeaky female voice spoke from behind me. I turned around to face her, the woman was skinny, quite short compared to my height and kinda looks like Mari Takahashi.
Damn, I'm racist.
"Hey, Olivia." I greeted, "What's up?"
"Have you seen Ian or Anthony? I need to ask them where I will put these boxes of old pictures." Olivia said, she was carrying a box full of old pictures of the two dudes dating back to the time when Ian had a mushroom head and Anthony had a butt-shaped nose.
"I dunno, I haven't seen them since early this morning." I shrugged, "They just said they were going out to shoot some video."
"It's kinda weird that it's their party and they're not even here." Olivia said before placing the heavy box on top of the table.
"You know those dorks can be lazy sometimes." I chuckled.
Then my phone vibrated and so did Olivia's that was on the table.
"Oh, someone texted me." I stood up from my chair and dug my hand inside my pocket of my super tight skinny jeans, feeling for my phone inside.
"Me too." Olivia reached for hers.
"Must me another subscription or a tweet from a fan." I smirked. The Smosh fandom's reaction on The duo's decision to add us the Smosh channel was a little bit of both angry and happy, but either way, majority of the fans are totally supportive of them and us.
I pressed the power button on my phone to turn on the screen and it displayed a text message from Ian:
Need help badly, we're in trouble. Meet us at the L.A. Library. We'll explain later.
My eyes widened and my jay partially dropped open, looks like the boys have gotten into some sort of trouble.
"Hey, did Ian text you?" Olivia tapped my shoulder, "He sent me a message saying that they're in trouble or something."
"Yeah." I replied, staring at the message Ian sent me, "Maybe it's just a prank."
As if on queue, another message popped up:
This is not a prank, we need your help. Like right now, gather the others fast.
My heart skipped a beat the minute I read the message, "Find Noah and the others, Ian and Anthony need our help." I ordered Olivia.
The office door suddenly opened and a tall dark skinny man wearing black pants and grey tee came running in, phone in hand and jaw hanging open. He looked at us and and we all shared the same expressions.
"They're in trouble." Keith mumbled.
Then he was followed by a buff dude, he had ginger hair, wearing denim polo and black jeans, he also had his phone in hand.
"Did you guys-?" Shayne looked at us.
"Yes."
"Guys! Guys!" A skinny bespectacled man yelled from the hallway, "Did you-?"
"YES, WE GOT THE TEXT!" The four of us said in unison, stopping Noah in his tracks.
"I was gonna say if you got the new Angry Birds update." Noah bowed his head.
Shayne scrunched his forehead, "Dude, are you stuck in 2009? No one plays Angry Birds anymore, it's all about Rubby Bird." He said, showing him the app.
"You're both late." Keith rolled his eyes.
"Guys, would you please settle down?" I raised my voice, stopping the erupting argument, "The duo are in trouble."
"We need to tell the others."
And all of our phones simultaneously went off, indicating another message from Ian:
No need to tell the others, we just need you five, and a bunch of costumes.
"How the hell did he know we're gonna be having this dialogue?" I raised an eyebrow, "Especially with these accurately-timed texts?"
"Ask the writer." Olivia shrugged, tilting her head slightly.
"Probably did it to make it funny." Noah added, sighing. Then another text popped up:
Bring the Power Glove, that thing will always come in handy.
"Well then, we need to be off." Keith said, motioning us to the door.
"We're off to see the wizard-" Noah began singing the age-old but annoying-as-fuck tune, taking our hands and skipping merrily to the door, "-the wonderful wizard of-"
"NOAH!" We all bellowed, silencing him. He shrunk down behind us and blushed in embarrassment.
After a twenty minute drive, we were fast approaching the library as we drove along W Fifth Street and going to a parking nearby on S Flower Street. The moment we stepped out of the car my phone rang, it was Anthony.
I answered it and put it in speakerphone for all of us to hear, "Hey, this better not be some kind of prank or I'm gonna punt your asses back to Sacramento."
"It's not." He replied, "Turn around and we'll explain everything."
We all looked behind our shoulders and saw four figures standing behind us, we then hurriedly turned around and it was definitely them. The three were wearing the same leather jacket over a dirty white button-up shirt, khaki pants and the iconic Indy fedora. However, Ian and Anthony looked dirtier than Billy, with Ian being much dirtier and bruised compared to the two. Along with them was Sidney, the extra they introduced to me earlier.
"Whoa, what happened?" Olivia's mouth hung open.
"We ran into a couple of henchmen." Ian caught his breath, bending down and putting his hands on his knees.
Behind them was a black van that was barely recognizable due to the damage is had on its entire shape, the side mirror one one side was nowhere to be found while the other one was hanging by a wire. The bumper on one side had fallen on the road, the headlights were shattered and so was the windshield.
"Whoa, what the hell happened to that van?" Shayne's eyes widened in shock, "Whoever's driving that van sure loves Grand Theft Auto too much."
Ian cleared his throat, "That's our van. And Anthony was driving." He chuckled. The five of us nodded and had a dash of clarity on our faces.
"Hey, I'm right here, you know." The dude with the semi-emo hair frowned, "-and besides, I know how to drive a manual now, and we're being chased."
"Why?" Keith added.
"Would you believe us if we said we're on a quest?" Anthony asked.
"Depends, what kind of quest?" I said, "-and I thought you're just gonna shoot a video?"
"We had finished making our video and Sidney asked us to help her with something."
"Alright, tell me more." I said. Sidney motioned for us to follow her behind a trash bin and we all squeezed ourselves into the small space. She then dug her hands into a satchel that was around her shoulder, pulling out a small book and opening it to a page that had an illustration of a flamingo.
"This is what we're looking for." She explained, "The Golden Flamingo. Your two friends are good at this, I never doubted them for a second. Billy got the best archaeologists out there."
"Uh, Sidney," Billy mumbled, "They're no-"
"Wait, wait, wait, hold up!" Noah interjected, extending out a hand in front of Sidney, "Hi there, pretty girl, my name's-"
"GODDAMMIT, NOAH!" All of us yelled again.
"Stay away from my girl!" Anthony slapped his hand away.
Sidney wrinkled her forehead, "What?"
"Uh, I-I said, stay away from-uh-fly girl. Y-y'know, 'cause you flew like a fly earlier, right? Heh." He stuttered. She just giggled cutely.
"Nice save, Antonio Padildo." Ian half smiled, and upon looking at him showed a little hint of jealousy on Sidney's giggle at his friend's remark.
"Looks like someone's a little jelly." I met Ian's gaze and wiggled my eyebrows, "The question is who is he jelly of? is it or his best friend or of the girl?" I said in a baby-like tone.
"Ooooooh, Ianthony confirmed!" Olivia cheered.
Ian rolled his eyes, "Damn fanfics, you've been reading those, haven't you?"
"Maybe... some fans are kinda effed up, who would even dare to shove a curling iron up one's ass?" I pinched the bridge of my nose trying to remove the image of that from my mind.
"I feel ya, bruh. That one kept me up all night." Billy interjected, cringing as well.
Ian and Anthony shuddered, "Let's get to business, shall we? We're running out of time." Anthony sighed.
"Okay, We need a favor." Ian turned around to face us, "We're on a race against the neighbor and his men-"
"The Neighbor? The creepy dude obsessed with flamingoes?" Noah cut in and Anthony agreed, "Of course."
"All you gotta do is distract them while we go inside the library and make our way up to get the first piece of the puzzle."
"What's in it for us?" Olivia spoke up.
"Well, duh, the awesomest party ever." Ian replied, "-and money for helping us finding that treasure. If we find that treasure."
"You got yourselves a deal. Just don't say this is all a prank, I swear to God, I'll punch you two in places that should never be punched." I balled my fist and brought it near the duo's faces in which their eyes widened as they looked at it.
"It's not. Now we better get moving, time's running out." Anthony led us across the road and onto where the colossal library is standing.
"How?" I tapped Ian's shoulder, "How can we distract them?" I asked while slipping on the grey power glove with nintendo buttons.
"I dunno, improvise, I know you guys are good at that." He glanced at the glove that was on my hand, "And make sure you use the orange dart instead of the blue one."
"What happens if I used the blue one?"
"Let's just say things will get a little harder." Ian awkwardly smiled.
Dirty-minded as I was and always will be, I immediately guessed what he was referring to.
The facade of the library was incredible, the way there had tall trees at the side, forming like a fence that led to the gigantic doors and at the center of the concrete floor dividing it into two was a long, narrow and shallow pool that extended a few feet from the main road to almost near the entrance. The structure was simple but elegant in a way that it would still make the average joe stare in awe, the most noticeable was the small pyramid-shaped roof at the center top of the building.
But before we were able to reach the main entrance of the library, Anthony pulled us behind a tall hedge and ducked in with us.
"There they are." He whispered, pointing to the sidewalk opposite us as two vans parked there.
"How can you be so sure?" Noah whispered.
"They look like the same vans that chased us." Charlie's raspy voice spoke, giving us somewhat of a scare, he was resting on top of Billy's shoulder. "It's them alright." He said as we saw men in identical semi-formal clothing.
"All set?" Anthony asked and we just smiled at them, "Okay, do your stuff, squad." He tugged on Ian and Sidney's hands, pulling them towards a group of tourists with Billy following them, merging with the mass of people. They soon disappeared from our view as the crowd walked towards the large entrance of the library.
"Okay." The five of us huddled, "Olivia, you'll be the first pawn, the moment most of them they leave their vehicles, distract the remaining."
"I think I have a good plan in mind." Olivia rubbed her chin, and the look on her face showed that she just hatched a brilliant one.
"While Olivia distracts them, I'll deflate their tires. So Olivia, make your voice loud."
"Surely we can't contain them in one place, right?" Shayne said.
"That's when Noah and Keith come in, if the group splits up, well, we know they'll be splitting up, Noah and Keith will seal off some entrances that Ian and Anthony will go through while you and I pose as decoys or at least lead them away from the 'kings'."
"Sweet, I knew my Ian wig will come in handy!" Shayne put on a fake bowl hair, "-and this explorer outfit I wore last Halloween."
I took a glance through the bushes and saw the men getting off their vans leaving only four of them, two in each vans.
"Time to set the plan in motion."
Olivia ran to our car and took out a policewoman costume and hurriedly put it on while Noah and Keith took off and ran inside the library.
"Shayne, help me get that 'tow away zone' sign." She pointed to the road sign that was on the road opposite the area where the goons parked.
"Alright." Shayne ran to the spot and cautiously looking around before yanking out the metal rod of the sign that was buried in layers of concrete, leaving a hole where it should've been. He then ran back to the three of us and handed the large sign to the Asian woman in police uniform.
"C'mon." I tugged on Shayne's shirt and we ran around the front garden circling the two parked vehicles as Olivia discreetly placed the sign a few feet from it.
We watched her argue with the two henchmen that had gotten out of their vehicles, one from each vehicle, she kept her voice loud and firm like a legitimate police officer, arguing about the goons' 'wrong parking'.
"You take the first van and I'll take this one." I whispered and Shayne nodded, "-but knock out the drivers first."
While Olivia was almost wailing at them, I approached the other side of the second van that was parked behind the first and crouched down beside the driver's side door, observing the power glove that was on my right hand. The glove was pretty much worn out, the labels on the buttons were smudged, and definitely had been through a lot of action lately, given that it was used by Ian and Anthony in their so-called 'Epic Time Travel Adventure' they told us.
I only remembered what Ian said to use the orange dart, or else terrible things will rise.
I took a deep breath, stood up and knocked on the door, putting on a seductive face. The driver glanced at me and was immediately awestruck, his jaw dropped, he took off his shades and I saw his eyes widen.
"Hey." I teased, sexily licking my lips.
The man hurriedly rolled down his window and gave out the widest smile he had, "H-hey."
"What's that over there?" I pointed to his dashboard, and the idiot fell for it. The second he turned his head away from me I pressed a button that I hope would launch the right needle to his neck.
To my luck, an orange dart lodged into his neck.
He went dizzy, head swirling around his shoulder. I caught his head from hitting the horn and gently laid it on the soft headrest. I picked up his shades that fell on the road and put it back on his face before crouching back down beside the van with Shayne.
"Take this," I slid off then handed him the glove, "-use that on the other guy while I deflate this van's tires."
"Okay." He took the glove and ran to the other vehicle. He cautiously knocked on the window, the driver casually rolled it down only to be surprised by Shayne firing a dart at him. He glanced at me with a hint of fear, "Uh-"
"You shot the blue one, did ya?" I said flatly and Shayne nodded.
Then a pair of hands grabbed his collar and tried pulling him in, "Come here." The goon said flirtatiously.
"Courtney, help me!" My friend whispered loudly, fighting of the tugging arms of the henchman.
"The orange one, you idiot!" I said, shuddering.
Shayne reached for the glove only to drop it on the ground. He gave me one last look, "Uh oh." Before he was pulled through the window and inside the van, and it began to rock violently. Shayne's muffled screams came from the inside as he struggled.
The driver's door opened with Shayne desperately clawing his way out, "Help me!" He pled but was pulled back inside but not before he managed to snatch the glove from the ground.
I took a peek at Olivia and saw the goons startled by the rocking, "What's going over there?" One of the men asked, but there was no response coming from inside, "Excuse me, ma'am, I need to check on our friend in there." He told the 'policewoman'.
"Hey, you forgot your ticket." She said, walking away from them then taking the tow away zone sign from its post.
"Why d'you do that?" Asked one goon.
"It's a new standard operating procedure called: knockout." Olivia shrugged, grinning evilly.
"Ohh - wait, what?!" The two blurted out but were too late as the metal plate was smacked against their faces, creating a loud clang and knocking them out cold.
I stepped out from hiding, "Whoa, that was kinda awesome." I smirked, going beside her looking down at the sleeping henchmen.
"Yeah, I know. Where's Shayne?" Olivia tossed away the metal sign.
"Probably having some sexy time." I chuckled.
Then the back doors of the rocking vehicle opened, a bruised Shayne crawled out, his clothes were torn to shreds, he got scratch marks on his body.
"Hey, what happened in there?" I asked, holding back my laughter.
Shayne was heavily breathing, exhausted from the brief scuffle. He slowly raised his head up to look me in the eyes, "I feel violated."
Olivia and I burst into laughter.
"He tried doing things to me," He shivered in disgust, "-especially down there."
"Your butt must be sore." Olivia cackled.
"Aw, shut up, but we nearly got to that point." Shayne sighed before he and I deflated both of the van's tires with one swipe of the sharp end of the big sign Olivia was holding.
We rushed inside the library keeping a close eye at Anthony and the three, all while going incognito as they were silently tracked down by The Neighbor's men as well.
The interior was more incredible than the exterior, there were four floors, all of them had rows of bookcases on them, each were stuffed with various books. At the center was a giant spiral staircase made of marble.
Ian, Sidney, Anthony and Billy went up the giant staircase that led to the second floor before hiding behind bookshelves to avoid being spotted by the roaming flamingo-obsessed boss.
Anthony Padildo
I hid behind the tall bookcases and ended up facing the wall. I was soon joined by Ian and Sidney there as the neighbor and his men began searching the floor. I stuck my head around the corner and saw Courtney who had just gotten on the second floor then hiding behind a pillar.
She met my gaze and I mouthed to her, "We need to get that door at the other side." I mouthed, pointing to a small door on the same floor but was opposite us, meaning we have to go around the place to reach it.
Courtney casually scratched her nose signifying that she had understood me.
"What are we gonna do now, Anthony?" Billy said, he was the last to follow us.
Then he tripped on a trash bin, causing it to tip over creating a loud clang that echoed through the entire floor and Billy fell face first.
I bit my tongue and slapped my forehead in annoyance while also holding my breath hoping for that Billy did not give away our location.
"Dum dum." Ian rolled his eyes.
"Get up and hide, you damn poof!" Charlie's voice came from the boy's pocket. Billy hurriedly got up to his feet and ran, joining us in our hiding place.
"Boss! I think I found them!"
Shit.
We heard footsteps approaching our hiding place, all of them were growing louder each passing second and were coming from all directions.
"Fuck." I gasped, feeling my chest thump faster.
"Psst!" I heard Noah's voice from the far end of the hall.
We glanced to our left and saw Noah, Keith and Shayne each pushing trollies with drapes on the sides. The three quickened their pace towards us while the henchmen approached our spot.
"Under here." Keith mouthed as they drew nearer.
"You first, Sidney. Take Keith's cart." I turned to Sidney who was nervously hanging onto my arm.
"Okay." She crouched down and waited for Keith to go past us.
"Alert the boss, I think I found Ian and Anthony." A goon spoke from the other end of the tall bookcase.
I looked back at them and Keith was passing us just in time.
"Go. Go!" I said and Sidney crawled under Keith's trolley and was concealed by the long drapes.
"You next, Billy." Ian said, pushing the boy to crawl under Shayne's cart, and he quickly moved away.
"Damn, I should've joined Sidney under there." My friend frowned.
"Moron, can we even fit under one cart?" I asked, facepalming.
"It's worth a try. Now get in there." Ian said before shoving me under the third cart with him getting inside afterwards. We ended up in fetal position with Ian's ass near my face and my crotch near the back of his head.
"Not this awkward position again." I shuddered, remembering the time when we held the same position when we were rescued by Link last year from the evil clutches of the empire.
"Only this time, I'm the one who could fart in your face whenever I want." Ian snickered, "Prepare for the unexpected."
"Shit." I sighed, waiting for the trolley to start moving.
But the cart never moved.
"What's the hold up?" I stuck my head outside to find out that it was Noah who was pushing us, and our combined weights were too much for him to handle.
"It's always the skinniest guy in the gang who gets to push the heaviest." Noah grunted and was still unable to push us onwards.
I stuck my hands out the back and kicked us away from the spot, helping him move it. Ian, on the other hand, used his hands to pull the entire thing by clawing on the carpet.
"People are probably gonna wonder why this trolley has hands." Ian chuckled.
Then Noah stepped on my hand, "OW! THAT'S MY HAND!" I whispered loudly, trying my best not to scream.
"Sorry." He lifted up his foot and pushed harder with us helping him reach the roof access door.
We regrouped at near the door and weren't caught by the goons that scratched their heads when they reached our previous hiding place upon finding nothing.
"Good job, guys." Ian and I congratulated the five.
"Anytime." Olivia said.
"Now go and wait for us outside, but watch your backs. We'll meet you there after we get the special glass at the very top of this building."
The squad bid us goodbye leaving the five of us to our work. We ran up a few flight of stairs, running fast but keeping a quiet movement since the stairs were made of metal.
"We need to get the first piece of the key before they do, but I'm sure that they're distracted enough." Ian said upon reaching the landing that leads to the rooftop.
Then the door down below burst open along with the footsteps of the henchmen.
"You were saying?" I replied.
"We better get moving, then." He shoved the door open and pulled us outside before bolting the door shut behind us. We then ran away and went to the opposite side of where the door was.
The wind blew strongly against our faces, we were four stories above the ground, able see a magnificent panoramic view of the city and its tall buildings. The people on the ground were as small as ants each going to their own respective businesses.
"THERE! UP THERE!" Sidney pointed up to the spire on the very top of the pyramid-shaped roof where there was a glint of blue. It was the piece we were looking for, a small blue shard of glass as blue as the deepest ocean.
"Billy, can you get up there?" I said, turning to the propeller-hatted boy playing with his pet guinea pig in his pocket.
"Say no more." Billy smiled and pressed a button on his hat. The propellers began spinning and gave him lift, then a gust of wind almost made him lose control. Billy was able to stabilize himself, "It's okay, I got this."
Then he took off, rising higher until he was able to reach the piece. The sun got into our eyes as we looked up, but we were able to see the boy's silhouette reaching for it.
"Almost there."
While we watched Billy fly, Ian took my gummy whip and licked the snake head before sticking it on a pipe that was sticking out of the ground. He then threw the other end over the edge, letting it dangle on the side of the building.
"We're definitely not going back there." Ian said.
BANG! The door blew open the exact same time Billy got his hands on the piece, but it did not budge.
"It's stuck!" The boy grabbed on the glass with both of his hands.
"Allow me." Charlie stuck his head out of the boy's pocket and shot a laser from his eyes, burning off portion of the spire where the glass was resting and allowing the boy to get it.
"Got it." Billy cheered, raising the piece up in the air only for it to be shot away from his hand by a blast from the goons' churro blasters.
"NO!" We watched in horror as the small shard of glass fly in the air and fall down on the grassy lawn of the Library amongst the busy people walking to and fro.
"BILLY, GET DOWN NOW!" Sidney yelled.
A pellet hit the boy's propeller hat, jamming the mechanism inside with cinnamon and stopping the blades from spinning.
"Crap." Was all the boy could say before he fell on the side of the roof sliding down the sloped surface and falling on the balcony we were standing on, hitting his head in the process.
"Billy!" Sidney ran to the unmoving boy on the floor. At the far end of the balcony were four men who had just recently appeared with their weapons drawn, racing us to the unconscious boy.
Sidney was able to reach the boy before the goons did, pulling him away from the spot where one of the henchmen brought down his lightsaber.
The goon slashed at her again and the only thing I remembered was that I threw myself on top of Sidney and Billy letting my back take the slash of the glowing blade.
I wailed as the pain soared on my back but was able to shield the two.
"ANTHONY!" Ian and Sidney bellowed, with the former clashing his own weapon against the man's.
I rolled off of them and laid on my belly letting Sidney sit up, "Oh my God!" She said, looking at the large burn on my back.
"I'm fine." I clumsily rose to my feet, "We need to get out of here now." I said. Sidney held my arm and tossed it around her shoulder, assisting me to the dangling whip Ian did earlier.
Billy soon regained consciousness, he sat up and saw Ian battling.
"Billy," Charlie crawled out of his pocket, "-you go down that rope first. I'll go and help Ian." The guinea pig said before he scampered towards Ian who was battling the goons, he then blasted them with his laser eyes.
The boy ran to us and I nodded at him, letting him slide down the rope first before letting Sidney go next.
"Sidney, you go down next. Slide down the rope and onto the balcony below, there you'll find a set of emergency stairs." I instructed.
"What about you?" She worriedly asked, "You're hurt."
"I'll be fine. I just need to assure Ian gets down safely as well." I replied. She first dangled her foot over the edge and slowly slid down the rope keeping her grip on the whip.
I ran back to my best friend who was dueling with two opponents, drawing out my blade as I ran then clashing it against one of them. After a brief fight, I kicked away my enemy the same time Ian defeated his.
"TIME TO GO!" I shrieked, throwing a burrito bomb at them. The bomb exploded instantly and created a cloud of red smoke. I hurriedly scooped Charlie from the floor and placed him on my shoulder, "Hold on, Charlie."
"With what? I DON'T HAVE ANY FUCKING THUMBS!" The pet shouted back, he instead dove inside my shirt pocket.
Ian was the third one to slide down the whip with me following suit. As soon as I had reached the balcony and reunited with the others, I whiplashed the gummy snake unsticking it from the pipe on the floor above.
"Let's move." Ian said, taking the lead down the fire escape stairs. We reached the ground below and ran back to the road where the parking lot was on the other side.
"IAN! ANTHONY!" I heard Keith yell, we all turned to the right side of the library and saw the squad waiting for us in their minivan, with Courtney holding the door open for us. We dove in the vehicle and as soon as all of us were inside, we sped off.
"What about the glass?" I asked.
"This one?" Courtney held up a blue-tinted ancient glass.
I grinned, "Holy shit, you guys are the best."
"Well that was crazy." Sidney said, leaning on the van's walls and catching her breath.
Ian examined the shard, "One down. Three to go."
