Disclaimer: Gravitation is all Maki Murakami's brainchild. I'm just playing in the sandbox with no profit to myself other than joy.
A/N: This belongs, technically, with the "Between the Lines" series, but it has long since gone beyond a oneshot. "Seven Days" is such an enigmatic song and I've always been suspicious of the details of the date in the Odaiba Amusement park. This is my take on that day...and as it has grown, the subsequent events as well.
Chapter 8: A new day and a call to the president's office.
A/N: I've made some important changes to Yuki's scene in Past, Present or Future. My apologies, but that's what I get for posting before I've finished the story! Explanation in A/N at the end of this chapter. Thanks for your patience!
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That Will Be All, Shindou-san
by Vindaloo
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Noon arrived, and there was still no sign of Shuuichi in the NG studios.
Hiro could only sit back and marvel as K did his best to deflect the 'where's Shuuichi' questions with ribald jokes and suggestive speculation. He chuckled dutifully as their producer, Sakano, panicked, half-convinced that Shu and his older lover had spent the day fornicating in the streets, and that Bad Luck was finished before it got a chance, and began pacing wildly about the practice room, bemoaning the corruption of his sweet, innocent lead singer.
If only it were that simple.
Hiro tucked his head and fiddled with his guitar, replacing a perfectly good string, polishing an already mirror-bright finish, tuning—anything to avoid the puzzled gaze of the band's third member, the young and sometimes too canny Fujisaki Suguru.
The lunch break alarm the ever-starved Shuuichi had set on the computer blared through the room. K, with a dark glance at Hiro, headed for the door.
"I'm going with you," Hiro said, and setting his guitar on its stand, he slid off the stool and followed his manager, ignoring the startled glances from Sakano and Suguru.
But as K reached for the doorknob, it turned.
Slowly.
And slowly a very exhausted Shuuichi limped into the room, slump-shouldered, bleary-eyed, still in the clothing he'd been wearing when they picked him up at the docks.
That he'd been crying was obvious, but they were old tears. Dried tears.
Hiro ducked around K and slipped his arm around his wilting friend, urging him to a chair.
"Are you okay?"
Shuuichi blinked at him, nodded, then shrugged.
"He didn't come home, did he?"
Shuuichi's eyes glittered beneath the heavy, swollen lids.
"You haven't been to bed, have you?"
Shuuichi bit his lip. Finally, in a voice hoarse with fatigue, he said, "I called everyone I could think of. Every bar in the city. The cops. His agent. His editor. Ayaka. Tatsuha...even his father." A shudder rippled through his slight frame and Hiro gave a soft, sympathetic curse.
He could only imagine what that must have been like. Shu had fought for Yuki once. Had challenged, aided and abetted by Yuki's brother, Tatsuha, and with Ayaka's willing participation, the marriage Yuki's father and Ayaka's had planned for their children. Had announced, inside Yuki's father's temple, that he loved Yuki. Had profaned, in Uesugi-san's eyes, that holy place with his cross-dressing display and unholy proclamation. Uesugi-san had declared him a pervert and condemned him for compromising his son's immortal soul.
As if Shu had been the instigator. Innocent Shu-chan, who got his first real kiss from Yuki-san, the self-proclaimed gods' gift to women. Not that Shu was a woman. Worse, he was a gullible, romantic idiot caught in the throes of first love.
But Shuuichi, as if reading his thoughts, was shaking his head. "It . . . it wasn't that bad. He was...worried about Yuki, that was..."
The tears began in earnest, and Shuuichi twisted to bury his face in Hiro's chest. Hiro wrapped both arms around him and patted his back, meeting K's eyes over the sweaty, disheveled pink mop, completely at a loss what to do.
The inhouse phone broke the sob-filled silence. Sakano caught it before the second ring and following a brief murmured exchange, hung up. Their producer, calm now and serious, laid a hand on Hiro's shoulder.
"Seguchi-san wants to see him in his office."
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Seguchi Touma. His boss. The one person he hadn't called in his search for Yuki. Not a conscious omission, but an omission nonetheless.
Shuuichi stared at the door to Seguchi's office, a room he rarely entered. Sakano did, and K, and others came and went freely. But to him, Seguchi was still nearly as lofty a star as Sakuma Ryuichi.
Ryu, his idol, his performance god, the man who had inspired him to sing in the first place, had long since broken past the barrier of fannish worship and at times he and Nittle Grasper's legendary singer were downright buddies, but Seguchi Touma did nothing to bridge that barrier and everything to strengthen it.
Even Shuuichi could tell it served the president's purpose to be considered omniscient.
Seguchi and Ryu had performed together for years in the band Nittle Grasper, only to break up when Ryu decided to go solo and Seguchi decided to devote himself full time to the production company Nittle Grasper's success had created.
But Seguchi Touma was more than that. Seguchi Touma was married to Yuki's older sister. Seguchi had a vested personal interest in Yuki. A possessive interest, or so Shuuichi had always read their relationship. Now ...
Touma found me...
Perhaps not possessive. Perhaps protective. Of a younger brother, albeit a brother-in-law, who had loved and had that love go disastrously wrong. Yuki himself hadn't been able to say what part Kitazawa Yuki had played that day; only that he'd killed him along with the men who'd raped him.
Had killed the man Seguchi-san had hired to take care of him, to make him feel safe in that new land.
Shuuichi couldn't begin to imagine how that fact must have haunted Seguchi-san over the years. If he hadn't hired Kitazawa, Kitazawa wouldn't be dead...and Seguchi's vulnerable young brother-in-law wouldn't have been...a murderer.
Or so the president might see it.
And early on Seguchi Mika, Seguchi-san's wife and Yuki's sister, had tried to use Yuki's interest in Shuuichi and Seguchi-san's control of Shuuichi's singing career to manipulate him to manipulate Yuki into doing things Yuki didn't want to do In Yuki's best interests, of course.Seguchi-san, Mika-san...they all just wanted what was best for Yuki. They'd been there for Yuki...then. Surely, surely Yuki had gone to them last night, an 'of course' he should have realized right from the start.
A puzzle he should have been able to solve easily.
So many puzzles began to make a painful sort of sense. In that sense, Yuki had been right: that picture was an important piece of the puzzle that was Yuki Eiri.
Not the final piece, however. Of that Shuuichi was sure, past the dull throb in his head. Shuuichi still believed, in his heart, that this Kitazawa had done something to deserve his fate. Yuki was many things, but murderer, even now, even after those life-changing events, was not one of those things.
He wanted to hold Yuki and tell him that, to make him see himself as Shuuichi did, to make him talk about that day and together, somehow, to find those final missing pieces to understand...why.
Instead, he'd been tongue-tied and stupid at the very moment Yuki needed him to be smart.
And now Yuki hated him. And now...
Shuuichi sighed, trying to hold back the tears. Now Seguchi-san wanted to see him. To tell him it was over because Yuki was too mad at him to tell him himself. Instead of being smart and understanding, he'd laughed, and Yuki, in a fit of rage had torn up that precious photo, a piece of which Shuuichi, hand deep in his pocket, rubbed like a totem every time he thought of his missing lover...
A tall form appeared at his side: K, who smiled reassuringly at him, then reached over his shoulder to knock on the door.
Seguchi Touma's office was huge, but sparsely furnished, with an amazing view of Tokyo beyond the desk.
Rather like Yuki's apartment.
Shuuichi found himself drawing parallels he'd never considered before, wondering who had influenced whom. Years of history. Years of trying to deal with a bitter childhood culminating in one moment of sheer horror.
He truly could not imagine.
At Seguchi-san's tacit invitation, he crossed that vast room to stand before his boss, squinting into the bright sunlight, trying to see Seguchi-san's face. His boss was a silhouette against the brightness...just as Yuki tended to position himself to his own advantage. Seguchi-san could see every shift in expression of the person he was addressing, while his thoughts remained a mystery.
Just like Yuki.
There was some sort of exchange between K and Seguchi-san, something about Seguchi wanting to talk to Shindou the person, not Shindou the singer. Dismissing K. Wanting to speak to Shuuichi alone.
But he'd known that, in his heart. Had welcomed K's help getting through that door, but now, it was between himself and this man. This man to whom the man he loved with all his heart turned in his time of need.
Because his love had proven too weak. Too foolish. Too young. Too much of everything except what Yuki had needed.
Seguchi-san asked, in that carefully pleasant voice that gave no clue to his thoughts, how Shuuichi's date with Yuki had been. Shuuichi, terrified of where this was headed, stammered something...he had no idea what...something stupid, no doubt.
"I'm glad," Seguchi-san said calmly. "You earned it. However...it's over now. I must ask you never to see him again."
It was only what he was expecting, still, it was like a hammer blow to his gut.
"I—"
"You may continue to stay in the apartment. The press has been informed and won't be bothering you. If they do, let me know and we'll silence them."
"I—"
"I'll send someone soon to clear out Eiri's things."
"But—"
Seguchi rose from his chair and turned to face the window.
"I made a mistake, Shindou-san. I thought you might be good for him. I was wrong. Eiri's gone and it's all your fault. I'm sorry if you're disappointed, but I must do what's best for Eiri. I'm certain, caring for him as you claim you do, you feel the same way."
"I do, but—"
It was no more than he'd expected. Seguchi had, after all, blamed Shu's influence for putting Yuki in the hospital, that fateful day Bad Luck's record sales topped a million. Seguchi had, even then, been trying to save Yuki from his, Shuuichi's, self-centered influence. Still...
Afraid to move, needing to know, Shuuichi tipped his head, straining to the side, trying to see that elusive, unreadable face, hoping for some hint of understanding, some hint that Yuki was safe.
"Please, Seguchi-san, where is he? Is he all right? I won't bother him. I–I do understand, but I need to know—"
He couldn't say it, but he needed to know if his screw up last night had put Yuki into the hospital. Again.
Seguchi-san turned, though his face remained a shadow against the sunlight.
"I don't know where he is."
Seguchi-san turned back to the window.
"But I intend to find out."
Relief, fear, and protest raged through him in quick succession. He bit his lip hard on all three, knowing he'd get no more from the president.
"That will be all, Shindou-san."
TBC
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A/N: The Seguchi scene, for me, was the defining moment for Shuuichi in the anime. For all his later antics, his reaction to Seguchi's cease and desist declaration reveals how much he's changed as a result of the past few hours. It's really, as I think about it, what determined the overall tone for Shu in this fanfic. The next Chapter: My Key, My Place, My Rules continues the spin on the story and his character that this scene inspired. Unfortunately, it also rather well usurped the Shu tries to ship himself to NY scene, which I really regret. (Sniff. I love Shu's impersonation of a suitcase and the subsequent Shu/K scene(s).) Hope you enjoy anyway!
Regarding the changes to Yuki's previous scene...I'm really sorry, but that'll teach me to post before I've finished a story! Several people have commented, in the reviews as well as private emails, about the recurring themes (like "forever", "Indefinitely" and Yuki's arcade expertise) I wish I could say I'm really that clever and see those connections all right from the start, but the truth is, when something like that happens in a scene, I frequently have to go back in and "seed" the trigger or "salt" a previous scene in order to foreshadow or set up the bit of business in question. That scene of Yuki's is key to understanding his attitude during the climactic scene. Details shifted as I worked on the ending and I had to change the boat scene to reflect those changes. I hope both scenes are now done, but there's a good chance they'll be revised yet again before all is said and done. Yuki's boat scene still feels a bit like...a writer writing to him/herself to me, so I'm not totally happy with it.
Reviews: Quickly...AmyHavok, I'd love to read it! ANKuma: Big Shu hugs. One of the more frustrating parts of the story, and a reason I've been forced to write fanfic to figure out my own take on the events, is the ambiguity. Leaves so much room for personal interpretation! My take on how much Yuki remembers is based mostly on the details shown in the flashback as he's telling Shu compared to the flashback as he has it in NY. The bit I've added to PPorF adds a bit more detail as to how and what he's trying to sort out. Scorch66: that "Shuuichi discretion" line is one of my all time favorites that my inner muse has ever come up with! Thanks for singling it out! Sayuri-girl: one of the things I love best about Shu is how mature he can be one minute, then back to innocent lamb the next...and it's all real. He's quite a wonderful character. Supershu: Ooo, yum slurp. Daxemon: Oops! How could I? I totally agree about Shu. And, as you point out, those two key "tests" Yuki gives him pretty much prove the point. Yuki is not a stupid man; he doesn't have some deep-seated need to prove himself superior and wouldn't settle for a stupid lover. In one of the "between the lines" stories I think Hiro describes Shu as hedonistic (and probably something like self-absorbed) but as caring of others as he can be...if he thinks about it. It's that getting his attention with a two-by-four that's the hard part when he's on a roll. :D I think the real key is the childlike quality which he never quite loses. Every kid knows the world revolves around him/her. :D As for you being there for Yuki...I fear you'll need a leaded bat to get his attention, (you do realize all novelists are certain they have all the answers :D ) but have at! Tsu: Ditto! Will send a private email ASAP.
Virtual Pocky, cookies, (and for the health-conscious, apples and Adams peanut butter) to all of you who continue to read this. I love reviews and I'll be honest, they've helped me finally get around to putting this story's ending together, so as long as you're enjoying the story, they aren't wasted!
Big Shu hugs—Vin
