Jasper leaned against the porch railing as he watched the jeep buck down the drive and turn onto the road. His thoughts were on his wife and what the day had in store for her. The soldier had held onto a sliver of hope that Carlisle would let Alice off with the school's detention to stand as her punishment, or maybe a week of house arrest, but listening to their discussion had caused that hope to vanish.
As he walked Alice out, Jasper had tried to reason with her. If she would only tell Carlisle what he wanted to hear, the evening wouldn't have to go as bad as the boy knew it would. His mate was nervous and their father heartsick. It didn't have to be this way. It shouldn't be this way. If only he hadn't been such a dumbass, Alice would have never landed herself into this terrible predicament. His stupidity should only land him in trouble, not his siblings or his sweet Alice.
Damn it, Whitlock, but you just had to go lead everyone else astray. Do you have to be so ignorant? You should have known that Alice would involve herself. You don't deserve that woman. With her heart of gold, she would defend you to the ends of the Earth, and look at what that's gittin' her. Locked down at school and the inability to sit for who knows how long. Are you fuckin' proud of yerself? That's your whippin' she'll be takin' from Carlisle. You know that right? You got off easy and left your mate with her ass hangin' in the wind. I'm so disgusted with you.
A low growl rumbled in Jasper's chest, but he stopped himself just short of punching the post to relieve his building irritation. Giving a snort of disgust, he lowered his head.
Yeah, go on and tear up the house. Win you some extra points. Maybe you can get Carlisle to wear his arm out on you so he doesn't have the energy left to whip Alice. Hell, that might relieve you of some of the guilt you're feeling for the cowardly crap you pulled with Esme.
Raising his head slowly, Jasper's onyx eyes focused on the upright post.
Why the fuck not get your ass beaten proper? Not like you don't deserve it.
With a vicious snarl, the soldier slammed his palm against the smooth painted wooden surface...with a human's strength.
Bowing his head, the Major knocked it a couple of times against the post before he sighed with disgust.
Chickenshit.
Quietly, Jasper turned away from the yard and the distancing purring of the jeep's engine to make his way back into the house.
Passing the living room, he heard his parents discussing Alice's upcoming date with the flat of Carlisle's hand. His father sounded distraught, and the anguish coming from the man caused the soldier to cringe. Knowing that this was a conversation that he wanted no part of, Jasper continued on through the house and up the stairs.
Pausing for a moment in front of Carlisle's office, the youth glanced in. It was really no different from any other room in the house. It was neatly organized, bright and welcoming, but a heavy feeling of dread lingered among those four walls.
That's what needs destroyin'; not some innocent post.
For a brief moment, the boy entertained the idea of tearing through the room and dismantling it along with the memories it contained. Biting the inside of his cheek, he recalled the first time Carlisle had given him a licking in his office. It had been in a different house, but the settling had been very much the same. How Jasper had laughed at the absurdity of the coven leader's chosen method of punishment. He couldn't imagine how such a childish form of discipline was even capable of keeping a group of young, hot headed, blood lusting vampires in line, and he'd been certain that it would have no effect on him. He was a trained soldier for heaven's sake. He'd had limbs ripped off and then had to endure the excruciating pain of reattachment. A couple of whacks on the seat of his britches wouldn't even phase him.
He had stood before that same scarred mahogany desk and openly mocked Carlisle, thinking him a weak and ineffectual leader, but how wrong he had been in that assumption.
Carlisle's emotions had been tinged with annoyance at Jasper's arrogance, but much to the empath's surprise, they had never risen to anger. Perhaps that was why it came as such a shock to the soldier when he found himself suddenly pinned down over the desk's cool, slick surface. The elder had taken physical control over him so smoothly and swiftly that the Major hadn't been able to offer the least bit of resistance before a window rattling crack seared his mind as well as his behind. One blazing lick was all it had taken for Jasper to find himself regretting every mocking comment he had ever made about his leader's infantile choice of correction.
In that one afternoon, Carlisle had proven just how effective he was at heading his family to keep them safe and in line. Jasper's respect for the man had continued to grow after that. His calm demeanor, compassion in dealing with others and ability to maintain a functional coven without resorting to methods that threatened his underlings' life or limb captivated the Major and earned his trust.
And what have you done to gain Carlisle's trust?
Turning away from the dreaded study, Jasper slipped down the hallway and into his bedroom.
Grabbing the blanket off the bed, the soldier curled up in the leather upholstered chair near the window and gazed out into the forest. Wrapping the fleecy fabric around him, the youth inhaled deeply, allowing his mate's sweet scent to fill his head. While it wasn't nearly as helpful as having Alice with him, her light floral fragrance eased some of his tension while he replayed her words over and over in his head.
As usual, his wife was right. He needed to be honest with Esme, and he needed to do that very soon. The longer he put it off the harder it would be, and the more tempting it would become to just try to forget it ever happened. Maybe that was just what he should try to do; forget it. It's not like Esme would ever know as long as he and Alice didn't say anything. If he could keep it out of his mind, not even Edward would know, and he would be completely off the hook. The Major would get off clean and clear, if only his conscience would allow that.
You have to tell Esme. You should have told her as soon as the others were gone; just bitten the bullet and got it off your chest. She's gonna be so damn disappointed in you, but what can you expect? She should be disappointed. Fuck that. She'll be pissed off and rightfully so. Whitlock, you knew better than to play yer Momma like that, but since you decided to be an ignorant ass, you should have fessed up from the git go. Instead, you lied like a legless dog to the sweetest woman on the planet. You know, you really do deserve to feel like scum.
Jasper watched as a hawk rode on the thermal updraft above the trees and longed to switch places with the raptor.
Dude, you have got it made, and you don't even know it.
Closing his eyes, the soldier allowed his mind to go blank for a few precious minutes before the comforting darkness receded. The guilt would no longer allow him to rest, and the boy knew that there was only one cure to his predicament.
Swallowing hard, Jasper raked his hand through his hair before nodding to himself.
Slowly folding the blanket, Major Whitlock inhaled deeply while he got to his feet.
"It's now or never, and the latter there isn't even an option, Whit."
Crossing to his door, the youth felt his stomach flip as his nerves took over. Why was this so damn hard to do? He'd faced murdering bands of vampires and never felt as shaken as he did right now. It's Esme, he reminded himself. Sweet, gentle, loving Esme...who's going to have Carlisle kick your sorrow ass into next month for this.
With his head lowered, Jasper ambled down the hallway and slowly descended the stairway, looking for all the world like a man heading to his demise. Upon reaching the first landing, the boy suddenly froze to find Esme climbing steadily towards him. Dragging a hand through his hair, he leaned back against the banister and waited patiently for his mother to join him on the small platform.
The moment the little brunette's near black gold-flecked eyes locked onto his, Jasper felt a chill race up his spine. Something was definitely wrong here. His mother was shielding her emotions, but he could see a tiny flame flickering behind her curious expression.
Acting quickly before his courage could desert him, the soldier sunk his hands deep into his pants pockets and lowered his gaze before he began to speak.
"Um. Momma, I was just coming down to find you. There's something that I need ...AAH!"
A crushing pain engulfed his left ear as his mother latched onto it with lightning speed and gave a tug. In the span of a second, Jasper found himself being dragged back in the direction from which he had just come. The excruciating pain in the side of his head left him with little option but to follow along as he loudly yelped in protest at the mistreatment.
"Ow, Momma! Wait! Let go!"
Without uttering a word, Esme continued down to the hall with her cub in tow, until she came to his bedroom.
Opening the door a little too forcibly, the clearly upset matriarch hauled Jasper inside then kicked it closed behind them, appearing unfazed by the yowls of her son or the sound of splintering wood.
Depositing the youth on his bed, Esme finally relinquished the hold she had maintained on his tender earlobe, and took a step back. Folding her arms, she closely studied her son through dark narrowed eyes while he briskly rubbed his abused ear.
"Crap, Momma, what did I do?"
"You know very well what you did, Jasper Monroe Cullen."
The fingers that worked feverishly to restore his ear to its former glory abruptly stilled and his eyes went wide in shock. How did she find out about last night? He had been so careful to remain unnoticed by the humans. How in the hell had he screwed that up?
No, she couldn't possibly know. If she did then he would be facing an angry Carlisle right now, so this had to be about something else. Something sure as hell put a bee in her bonnet, and he would have to proceed with caution if he didn't want to get stung.
"I'm not sure what it is that you think I did, Momma, but if you tell me, I'll do my best to explain."
"I'm not interested in explanations or excuses, young man. You've already lied to me. How am I supposed to trust what you would tell me now?"
Esme's glare hardened and Jasper found himself feeling a little intimidated.
"I never meant to lie to..."
The matriarch raised her hand to silence the youth.
"I said that I didn't want to hear it, Jasper."
The southerner lowered his head as his mother closed the gap to stand before him. A gentle hand cupped his chin and lifted it until he was forced to gaze back into her dull, hurt eyes.
"I didn't want to believe your father when he told me that you had played me for a fool. Not my son. Not my brave Jazz. He would never do such a thing. His honor would never allow that.
I knew that I had to have been the one to cross some invisible line and caused him to suffer. That was the only explanation that made sense. My soldier had a relapse and unfortunately he was reminded of the horrible suffering that he had endured in his past. Do you have any idea how much I regretted being the cause of those reemerging memories, Jasper?"
The boy averted his eyes, but a slight shake of the hand holding his chin refocused his attention on Esme.
"You let me believe that I had done a terrible thing to you. I felt like the worse mother in the world; entirely heartless for what I had done to you."
"Momma, I..." His whispered words died before they could truly form.
"What, Jazz? Don't try to tell me that you didn't mean for that to happen. You knew how I would feel. You could feel the effect that your story had on me, but you continued to allow me to believe the lie."
Finally letting go of her hold on the youth, Esme cocked her head ever so slightly to the side as she seemed to be considering something.
"You don't lie to Carlisle, do you?"
'No, Ma'am," he muttered softly.
"But you had no problem lying to me. Do you think so little of me that you don't feel that I deserve the same respect that you show your father?"
"I have nothing but respect for you."
"You have a very funny way of showing it."
Jasper could no longer stand the weight of his mother's stern gaze and allowed his head to bow.
Freeing the air trapped in her lungs through a deep sigh, Esme turned away from the boy and took a few paces before glancing back.
"I won't stand for being lied to, young man. You are about to learn that fact well."
Turning fully around to face the youth, she commanded in a serious tone that left no room for disobedience, "Jasper Cullen, get up."
Swallowing back the venom that apprehension caused to suddenly fill his mouth, the soldier quickly found his feet and stood before his mother with his hands clasped firmly at the small of his back.
The matriarch glided passed him without so much as a sideways glance to gather his pillows at the foot of the bed. Placing one a little further out from the edge of the mattress, she carefully stacked the others together before addressing the youth again.
"Please remove your pants and lean over the bed. I want to get this over with as quickly as possible, Jasper, so I would appreciate your compliance."
"My pan..."
"JASPER!" She growled his name loudly, causing him to flinch before she softened her tone. "There is no room for negotiation. You will do as I say or I will force you to submit to my authority. The choice of how we do this is yours, but the end results will be the same regardless of how we get there."
For a moment, the soldier stared uncomprehendingly at Esme in shock. He had never seen his mother so agitated and determined. While he was taller and stronger than her, there was little doubt in the boy's mind that she would make good on her word to force him to comply with her demands.
For all her apparent anger, when he locked onto her obsidian eyes, the only thing that registered in their depths was immense pain. She continued to keep her emotions locked firmly away from his prying power, but she could not hide what shone through her eyes. He had betrayed her. He had taken advantage of her nature and now he was going to reap the reward of his misbehavior. Suddenly, the humiliation he felt at the idea of his mother seeing him disrobed seemed like a small price to pay for what he had forced her to endure.
Jasper closed his eyes and drew in a deep breath. He had hurt Esme more than he realized. He had brought this upon himself, and he would do whatever it took to make things right between them. He had to repair the damage. If this was the first step in doing that, so be it.
"Jasper, I'm waiting."
Opening his eyes, he glanced over at his mother, trying unsuccessfully to read her once again before nodding his head in acceptance of his fate.
"Yes, Ma'am," he whispered; only biting back an apology at the last second. The woman's body language told him that she was not interested in hearing him voice his regret. The soldier was not sure that his mother wanted to hear his voice at all, so he returned to a trusted childhood practice of not speaking unless spoken to.
Steadying his hands, Jasper unbuckled his belt and released the buttons of his jeans so he could slide them down his long, muscular legs.
"All the way, if you please."
Toeing off his running shoes, the youth stepped out of his pants and left them where they laid as he made his way around to the foot of the bed.
Stretching out along the bed with his hips gently supported by the pillows, Jasper felt terribly exposed. He was only too aware that his rear was perfectly presented and soon he would be feeling his mother's anger even though she maintained a fierce lock on her emotions. Inhaling a breath in a pitiful attempt to relax, the Major wrapped his arms around the extra pillow and buried his face. The calming scent of his mate swiftly enveloped him, making Jasper realize it wasn't by accident that Esme had given him Alice's pillow to cling to.
Thoughtful even when pissed. If that just don't beat all. That's my Momma.
The youth winced before he could stop himself when the matriarch's hand came to rest on his lower back, but the woman appeared unfazed by his reaction. Lightly rubbing his tense muscles, Esme subconsciously attempted to ease her son's anxiety while she mentally battled with her own raw emotional pain.
"Jasper, you and I both know why you've wound up in this regrettable spot. I really don't see any reason for further discussion. I'm sure that this comes as no surprise, but just for clarity's sake, you should know that a repeat of this sort of behavior will not be tolerated. I promise that if I discover that you've tricked me again, and trust me, I will find out, you will be punished with great prejudice. This is the only warning that you'll be given. Don't test me on this. You will not like the results."
The faintest of nods was the only indication that the youth had heard his mother's words, but that was enough for Esme.
Applying a little more pressure against the boy's back, the matriarch anchored him against the pillows and gathered her courage to help see her through. Giving no further warning, Esme brought her free hand down sharply against Jasper's thinly clad backside drawing a low grunt from the soldier and causing tears to well up in her eyes. The woman's heart broke to hear the youth gasp after a quick volley of blows peppered his errant hide, but she persisted and soon fell into a steady rhythm.
Jasper bit his bottom lip and fought to keep his vocalizations to a minimum as the wicked stinging in his hindquarters rapidly increased. Despite his best efforts, a muted mewl welled up in his throat and slipped past his lips.
"Jasper, I never thought that I would find myself in a position like this."
The Major's shoulders shook and he drew a shaky breath before whispering in a voice that was thick with emotion, "Ah... Ah'm sorry, Momma. Ah swear."
"And I'm sorry that I have to do this, Son. You have no idea ..." Giving a shake of her head, Esme let the words die on her lips.
If she let her emotions go, Jasper would know the effect this was having on her, but what good would that do? The youth would only feel worse, which was the last thing that she wanted for him. As angry as she was, the matriarch wanted this over. Once her son was sufficiently chastised, this ugly mess would finally be behind them. The last thing she wanted was to have it continue because of Jasper not being able to forgive himself. Esme would rather suffer in silence if by doing so she was able to free her boy of his guilt.
With her palm fiercely stinging, she continued to apply stroke after hard punishing stroke to the soldier's tender posterior while trying to find a way that would drive her point home and free Jasper's over burdened conscience.
Slightly shifting her position, Esme's foot caught on the youth's discarded jeans and diverted her attention for a second, but a second was all it took. With her heart in her throat, Esme instantly knew what she had to do.
"Son, are we going to have to do this again?"
The lad's answer came in the form of a whimper while he shifted his weight from foot to foot, before a well placed stroke to the undercurve of his right cheek forced him up on his toes.
Jasper ground his teeth and hissed like a punctured tire as he struggled with the relentlessly burning sting while holding back the venom tears that burned his eyes and blurred his vision. He had hurt his mother enough and would not add to her suffering by breaking down in front of her. He deserved to be punished for his stupidity and, by God, he would take it like a man and not make a fuss. He couldn't completely control the traitorous little sounds that got away from him, but he would be damned if he was going to weep.
Blinking rapidly, he drove the thick venom back before biting the back of his hand to stifle his cries.
"Good. I don't want to ever have to punish you for this behavior again, but I will if you insist. Believe me when I say that it is in your best interest not to manipulate me like this again, Jasper. I'm going to give you a little extra incentive to help you remember how to behave."
Several more hard swats fell before Esme's hand came to rest against her boy's worn out rear end. She rubbed his rump gently to ease a bit of the sting before bending down to pull his belt free from the tangle of denim.
The jingle of his belt buckle caused Jasper to freeze as the venom in his veins chilled, but his moment of immobility was fleeting. Suddenly, the southerner popped up and turned to face his mother with huge liquid jet black eyes that begged for mercy.
"Please," was all he uttered.
What was left of Esme's broken heart shattered into tiny shards at hearing her boy plead, but she hid her emotions well behind an impassive mask.
"We're not done, Jasper," she replied softly while folding the belt over in her hand. "Lay back down, please. I won't add to your punishment this time, but if you break position again, you'll leave me little choice."
"But, Momma, you can't."
"Oh, I assure you that I can and I will. Now do as you're told."
Shaken by the determination in his mother's eyes, Jasper knew that he had no choice but to comply.
Laying back over the edge of the bed, the Major quickly reclaimed his mate's pillow a mere second before his first tear won its bid for freedom.
Two strokes of the belt bit into the boy's firm flesh and he heard himself sob before a new emotion eclipsed the pain and sorrow that he felt. The moment he felt his boxers slip down his thighs, embarrassment rushed upon him and would have colored his face if blood still coursed through his system. It took every ounce of Jasper's self control to maintain his prone position along his bed as his mind screamed for him to do something to end this torment.
Esme felt her son stiffen beneath her touch.
"Try to calm yourself, Jazz," she cooed softly as she briefly rubbed his back to give him a moment to collect himself. "It will be over soon."
"Easier said, Momma."
"I'm sorry, Baby, but I need you to remember this for a long time."
"Mission accomplished," he quietly stated with a soft sniffle as he buried his head.
Tapping the loop of leather against his pale bare skin, Esme continued to remind herself that this was for the youth's own good. She had to be strong and see this task through to its bitter end or what he had already suffered would have been for nothing.
"Alright, Jasper. Let's finish this."
The Major gritted his teeth as flames consumed his backside. His mother appeared to be holding nothing back as the dreadful implement snapped against his rump with a tremendous crack that sent a jolt of pain across every fiber of his being.
Within seconds, the courageous soldier gave up his struggle to hide his emotions as yelps of pain were torn from his throat and tears cascaded down his face to soak Alice's pillow.
Esme was shocked by the appearance of several welts as the belt flawlessly accomplished its grievous task. This time she knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that her son's sobs were genuine and hated herself for being their cause.
Stop it! He needed this. Jasper needed to learn his lesson and he needed to purge his conscience. You felt his guilt last night, but you weren't completely aware of the reason. This will benefit him in the long run. You are doing this for him.
Esme brought the strap down on her son's defenseless rear several more times before her internal monologue churned out a question that she couldn't answer.
Then why does this feel more like revenge than redemption?
One final stroke and the belt slipped from the matriarch's hand while tears trickled down her face.
"Ah'm sor-sorry, Momma. So sorry."
The words were muffled by the pillow and broken by the boy's tearful sniffling, but the brunette heard them quite clearly.
Quickly wiping the tears from her cheeks, Esme shushed the soldier while she carefully raised his boxers, taking care to avoid dragging the soft fabric across his welt ravaged skin.
"Shh. It's over, Jazz. We're done here. You're alright, sweetheart. You're okay. Just breathe, Baby."
"Sorry," he whimpered. "Won't do it again."
"I know, Baby Boy. I know."
Esme bit back bitter tears as she focused on her broken boy; broken by her hands and that damnable piece of leather. Her earlier anger at her son's transgression was swiftly being turned against herself. Jasper had deserved to be punished, but she had taken it too far. How could she claim to love her children if she was willing to hurt them like this? She was the worst mother to ever live.
"Jasper, let's get you into bed for a little while. Some time to rest will do you good. Come on, Sweetheart."
Gently helping the boy back to is feet, Esme found herself caught in a strangle hold of a hug.
"Momma, I'll never..."
"I know, Jazzy. I know. Shh."
Holding her son close, the matriarch guided him to the side of the bed and pulled back the sheets. Patting the bed, Esme softly directed her soldier. "Lay down. I want you to relax for a couple of hours, Sweetheart. You need to give yourself some time to heal."
The Major meekly crawled under the covers and rolled on his side with a soft hiss while his mother reclaimed his pillows and tucked them under his head.
Brushing a honey gold lock out of the boy's face, Esme kissed his forehead, then straightened up while gazing into his dark shimmering eyes.
"Rest, Jasper. You don't have to stay in bed, but you will stay in this room until I release you."
"Yes, Ma'am," he whispered while curling up a little tighter, but continued to peer up at his mother sadly. "Momma..."
"There's nothing more to say. The matter is closed, Major. Now do as I ask, and I'll return for you in a little while."
Jasper reached out for his mother's hand, but caught only air as she turned away and headed towards the door.
"Momma?"
Glancing back over her shoulder, Esme caught her boy's eye.
"Yes, Baby?"
The soldier swallowed hard as he silently stared at the woman then shook his head while lowering his gaze.
"Nothing, Momma. I'm just sorry for the trouble I've caused."
"We all make mistakes. All that I ask is that you learn from yours and don't let this happen again."
Nodding, Jasper sighed softly and pulled the covers over his head to block out the world as his mother quietly closed the door behind her.
Once outside the bedroom, tears flooded the matriarch's eyes. Leaning her back against the wall that separated her from her gifted child, Esme gave into the harsh emotions of failure that she had been holding at bay. The anguish from having hurt her boy crushed her heart and turned her legs to jelly.
Sliding down, she landed on the floor with a dull thud and pulled her knees up against her chest while the devastating sadness she had noted in Jasper's eyes continued to flash in her mind. He loved her and trusted her. How could she have done this to him? He was her baby. Her job was to protect him from harm, not cause harm to him.
Esme drew a deep breath as she ran her hands through her hair, but the self soothing methods didn't work at all. She was a terrible mother to her southern soldier. She had been angry when she trudged up those stairs to deal with her son. One of the big rules of parenting was never to discipline in anger, especially if you are using physical forms of punishment. She knew that, but she had completely disregarded that maxim. She should have given herself a time out before speaking to Jasper, let alone spanking him. She should have been calm when she walked into the Major's room to discuss his behavior, but what she had felt was far from calm. When he had surprised her on the stairs, she had simply reacted to his appearance, and it had all snowballed from there.
The matriarch laid her head on her knees as her mind flicked back to the moment their eyes had met on the stairs. He had looked so lost and nervous, just like a naughty little boy who regretted his mischief making. He had started to say something moments before she had latched onto his ear. What was it that he...
Esme sat bolt upright and stared intently at the wall in front of her.
Oh my God. He was coming to me with his confession, and I never gave him the chance. I can't believe that I could be that insensitive to my son. What is happening to me? It shouldn't have been like this. Jasper deserves to be treated better. He's been through so much, and he looks to you to give him a better life. He needs love and understanding, but you didn't even give him the opportunity to explain. What sort of person does that?
Her brow furrowed as she conjured up an old image of herself forced down across a mattress, begging for a chance to explain while a heavy belt delivered blow after punishing blow to every accessible part of her body.
Esme's venom ran cold as goosebumps broke out across her skin.
"Oh, God. Have I just overreacted like..."
"Esme?"
Looking up in response to the soft and curious voice, Esme found herself caught in the gentle gaze of her husband's bright amber eyes.
"Carlisle," she wailed pitifully as tears raced down her pale cheeks. "What have I done to our son?"
AN: Esme did overlook something very important, that has Jasper feeling a little worse when he should be feeling better. It's going to take the good doctor to once again sort things out. Poor Carlisle never really gets a day off, does he?
Thanks, as always, for all the support. I'm sorry that updates are coming a bit slower. I've lost some of my will to write, but I'm working on getting it back. I really appreciate all the feedback. That really does keep me from fall completely off track.
Also need to apologize to some folks for falling behind on my own reading and reviewing. Sorry y'all. I'm will get caught up.
Special thanks to my wonderful beta, Splinter and the always astounding, Jasper1863Hale for helping keep me sane.
Until next time.
