A/N: Thanks again for some fantastic reviews. The best reviews are always those from people that actually let me know what they like about the story because then I know what to include more of. As I said in the previous chapter- I am writing this story for myself. However, as I get more and more reviews, I'm realising that it's not just me who has been searching for something decent about Twilight to read. So a special thanks to 'Absolutely Cullen', 'BellaAndEdwardForLife' and 'KCAkaAlice' whose reviews for chapter 8 made me smile :) Thanks also to 'twilight611' and 'maggie' who unfortunately I cannot reply to personally.
I've been dying inside little by little
"Morning beautiful," whispered a soft melodic voice from beside me. I shifted slightly and felt a pair of strong, cool arms wrapped around me. My head- and half my body for that matter- was resting on a bare chest that was pale ivory and flawlessly smooth. I traced the contours of the muscles gently with my fingertips and the chest quivered slightly under my touch.
"Edward," I croaked and his long fingers weaved themselves through my hair, untangling it gently. "I'm sorry about last night. For walking off like a kid". Although the previous evening was foggy, I was still able to drag up the memories of acting like a five-year old.
"It's me who should be grovelling all day, Bella. I treated you worse than a dog by leaving you alone like that. I let my fight with the Blacks get in the way of my feelings for you. I was so overcome with rage, with panic, that I let your face disappear. It became just Jacob and me; the rest of the world disappeared. And seeing his face made me see Leah's and I had to do something. I should have explained everything to you, but I was so scared," he admitted quietly.
"Scared of what?"
"Of losing you". I sat upright and placed my hand under his chin, lifting it up. His emerald eyes glinted but it wasn't with his usual self-confidence; it was with terror. I suddenly realised just how much I meant to him.
"You will never lose me. That is a promise," I insisted confidently.
"I did though. For an hour or so last night, I did lose you," his voice was subdued and held traces of the sadness from last night.
"Only because you were a jerk. Which you never normally are, so it's fine".
"It isn't fine, Bella. I thought things were over for good between us last night and it scared me half to death. Realising what it's like to live without you, now that I've known life with you in it, isn't nice at all. I will never do anything that would put us in that position again," he swore.
We lay on my bed holding each other for at least an hour. It wasn't an awkward silence; it was content. I listened to his steady breathing and felt the rise and fall of his muscular chest and it relaxed me. My parents knew that Edward was in my room; they'd agreed to let him stay after Esme had insisted that he and I talk things through. My dad had spent an hour inflating the airbed but, in his drunken state, had left it sagging at one end. It wasn't difficult to persuade Edward to climb in next to me. Nothing had happened because Edward wasn't like that; he would never ask me for anything more than I offered. It wasn't that I didn't want Edward and me to go further than simply kissing; I just didn't think that either of us was ready for it. I was too scared to ask him if he'd done it before, but I had a feeling he had. Whether it had meant anything or not was a completely different matter altogether.
So when we heard sleepy groans from the next room as my parents woke, presumably with splitting headaches, Edward kissed my forehead softly before shifting my weight off him and creeping onto the airbed. My dad was the first to poke his head through the door. He eyed my scrunched up face and Edward's peaceful 'sleeping' figure stretched out on the make-shift bed and tip-toed quietly into the room.
"You okay Bells?" He whispered. I nodded and he continued to watch Edward. "Quite a party last night, huh?"
"Yeah, dad, it was great," I lied.
"Uh-huh, your mum really pulled out all the stops". He smiled at me. "Thanks for helping her Bells". I merely nodded again; I couldn't remember having anything to do with the organisation.
"That's fine dad. I'm real glad you had a good time". He grinned again and turned to walk out but then seemed to remember something.
"Your mum and I and going out for a bit this afternoon so you'll have to amuse yourself".
"Okay ... I don't mind".
"No, I bet you don't," said knowingly. "And don't think I don't know where he," he nodded to Edward, "really spent the night". He winked at me as I blushed. My eyes immediately flitted to Edward as soon as he'd shut the door. Edward sat up straight and stretched. The covers slid down as he did so and I marvelled once again at his unblemished physique. His chest was completely even apart from the delicate outlines of his muscles. His arms were huge, much more so than they seemed under his t-shirts, with unadulterated biceps. I'd seen his brother Emmett's bare body too and his muscles were probably twice the size of Edward's but much more unnatural. Edward looked effortless whereas Emmett looked painful. The insides of his forearms were lusciously silky with subtle veins leading straight from the crease at his elbow to his wrist. He caught me staring and stood self-consciously. He cleared his throat and bent down to pick up his shirt.
"Sorry," I said. He stood upright again.
"For what?" He asked.
"Making you feel uncomfortable". He dropped his shirt and crossed the room to me. I was still sat on my bed so he towered over me. He took the tops of my arms and pulled me gently so that I was standing with him. I winced slightly as he caught the bruises inflicted by Jacob and he chafed my arm softly when he noticed. It was my turn to feel incredibly self-conscious as I stood in my grey pyjama shorts and a white tank top. He bent his head and brushed his lips along my jaw.
"You don't make me feel uncomfortable; I just don't understand why I'm beautiful to you". My head was completely elsewhere as his cool breath tickled my neck.
"You're beautiful to everyone," I muttered when I was finally able to string together the words floating round my head.
"As are you," he said simply. He moved me away from him slightly so that he could speak to me without me having to lean my neck right back to see him. "You can look at my chest all day if you like- you're the only person I will happily allow to do so". I heard the smile in his voice before I could even see it. He flashed his perfect white teeth at me as I placed my hands on his torso and stroked gently. He closed his eyes and sighed contentedly. The phone began trilling its' irritating ring but I didn't bother- nothing could spoil my current bliss.
I know the ending seems pretty final but it's only in case I decide to have a little break over the Christmas period. I might write chapter 10 tomorrow but it depends on how interesting my presents are haha. So don't worry, there is plenty more to come. Not a lot happened in this chapter but I made it just to tie up the few loose ends. I'm not sure what I want to happen next so please let me know! Review please :)
