A/N: This is the sequel to A Series of Politically Inappropriate Happenings. This story will be a little different from the previous two (which were quite different from the first installment of The Series). It was inspired by two things: first, a desire to try a slightly different genre other than Humour (a more serious one, one might say) and second, the criticism that Kuroro's relationship with Midoya is a little too perfect.

To Guest Reviewer: Thanks for the review! I must admit, because the focus of this story and the next is really about the renegotiation of Kuroro and Midoya's relationship, the Ryodan is kind of meant to be in the background a little. And because at the moment, Kuroro and the Ryodan are reacting to a situation they don't fully understand, they may seem to flounder a little. But, I'll try to maintain the Ryodan's kick-ass-ness as much as is possible without making things too easy for them. They will get their chance to shine later, promise!

Disclaimer:I do not own Hunter X Hunter and all the characters affiliated with the manga/anime. All OCs are mine and mine alone. The views stated by the characters do not always reflect the views of the author either. All characters and settings in this story are fictional.


Pursuing Midoya

When the second explosion rocked the mansion, Kalluto was almost thrown off his feet. Franklin caught him and put him back on his feet, but before Kalluto could complain, the others had already ran past him and he was forced to catch up with them.

"That was Kito's Nen," Phinx said tensely. "I mean, it felt weird, but it's definitely her Nen."

"Kalluto?" Franklin asked, moving surprisingly fast for a man his size.

"It came from where Dancho is," Kalluto confirmed, glancing at the paper dolls hidden in his hand.

"Fuck," Phinx cursed.

To Kalluto's astonishment, they Ryodan members picked up even more speed, and he pushed himself even harder to catch up with them, refusing to look weak in front of these people. It was really times like this that he was reminded he needed to become stronger than he already was.

"Fuck," Phinx repeated, "fuck. You think Kito did something to Dancho?"

"I think we should hurry," Machi replied coolly, "hurry, and hope we are not too late."

-break-

Just about the time the Ryodan were starting to panic, Hisoka was in one of the guest bedrooms of the mansion, straddling Clemence Priduex and choking the life out of her.

Her hands, long and slender, scratched at his bare arms as she gasped and fought for breath. Her body twisted and turned under his, feeding his arousal. Her legs, long and slender, kicked feebly as she struggled against his strength.

Almost idly, though he was practically drooling with excitement, Hisoka leaned over and licked her face, tasting sweat and cosmetics. "More?" he taunted. "Do you want me to hurt you more?"

"Oui," she choked out and bucked her hips against his. "Yes, mon amour! More!"

Hisoka shuddered with pleasure and bit her earlobe. She mewled in his ear then reached out and wrapped her hands around his throat. Another shudder ran through his body as he started to gasp for air. Considerately, he leaned over her so she would have less difficulty squeezing the life out of him. Oh my. He had always thought bedding Midoya would be like bedding the ultimate sadist, but he personally thought Clemence Priduex would give Midoya quite the run for her money. Within seconds of hitting the bed, she had shredded his shirt and blazer to pieces. Then she had bitten into his neck, leaving a large bleeding wound there. Hisoka had almost lost control right there and then. He was glad he hadn't because now, she was doing the most decadent things to him.

"More," Hisoka moaned breathlessly. "More, ohhhh."

"Oh, you are dirty," Clemence Priduex choked from beneath him. "Dirty."

Hisoka licked his lips and shuddered some more. Damn it, she had to stop. If she continued talking like that, he was going to skip the appetiser and main course, and jump straight to dessert. Hisoka loved dessert. He loved them red and sweet, burning in his mouth as he reached the peak of ultimate pleasure.

Clemence Priduex stopped strangling him. Instead, she reached around and dug her long, sharp nails into his back, leaving deep gorges in their wake.

Hisoka whimpered greedily. Oh the pain. That was it. He couldn't take it anymore. He had to have dessert; had to have it now. Sitting up, Hisoka released his hold on her neck and slid a card into his hand. "Do you like magic, Clemence?" he purred.

"Magic?" Clemence Priduex stared groggily up at him. "What are you talking about, mon amour? Don't stop. I wish you to continue."

"Alright," Hisoka agreed and sliced the card against her throat.

In the following seconds, Hisoka saw the events as such. When the card came down, Clemence Priduex's lust-dazed eyes widened with shock. Then Nen swelled up from her body, encasing her throat in a thick layer of blazing white light. The card cut skin, drawing blood, but just barely. Before he could react, Clemence Priduex shoved him hard, sending him flying through the air until he hit the wall on the other side of the room.

Dazed and still throbbing with arousal, Hisoka sank to the floor, staring at his torn pants with fascination. That was… really nice, really nice. A gentle creak interrupted his thoughts and he looked up to see Clemence Priduex rising from the bed, blanket wrapped around her torso like a toga, and Nen, powerful Nen, blazing like a beacon in the room.

Hisoka licked his lips and climbed to his feet, his own Nen starting to throb in time with the pulse beating below his belly button. Shivering, he slipped the card, wet with her blood into his mouth and sucked it until the card crumpled in his mouth.

"Hisoka, mon amour," she said coldly. "You tried to kill me."

"Oui," Hisoka agreed, since it would be a pretty obvious lie if he said he hadn't. "I definitely tried to kill you." Smiling at her expression, he licked blood off his lips, shuddering as he did.

"I see," Clemence Priduex said, walking regally towards him, her hips swaying gently. "Mon amour." They circled each other, two wild dogs in heat sizing each other up before a fight. "Why?"

Hisoka thought hard about it, but could find no good reason not to tell her. So he did.

It had nothing to do with dessert.


If anyone had thought, at that very moment, to open the vault door of the Basilio vault, they would have been greeted with a strange sight indeed. The first thing they would have noted was that the entire vault was gunpowder black and smelt strongly of burning things. The second thing they would have noticed was the lone man standing in the middle of a mess of debris, his clothing torn and tattered, and his face wearing an expression of stunned disbelief.

That would not be surprising. Kuroro Lucifer, for one of the few times in his life, was having a moment of pure incredulity. Had that just happened? Had he just learned Midoya was the real mastermind before all this? That she had led Armando Basilio to the Ryodan, to his Ryodan? Had she really thrown a tampon at him? Well, of course not. That was obviously a Nen-bomb in disguise. After all, the whole place was blown up like… like a bomb had gone off. It was very innovative of her to disguise the bomb as a tampon, really, Kuroro thought in dazed admiration. Not only will it not set off metal detectors because of the nature of the material, it wouldn't be examined too closely by security guards either. Kuroro applauded her creativity and intelligence.

Slowly, as if in a daze, Kuroro looked around at the priceless artefacts he had just been admiring, now a rather unsightly pile of trash on the floor. Tiny fires had started in the vault, feeding on the flammable material lying around, likely papyrus hundreds of years old. And his clothes… oh, they were torn and tattered, and his blazer was almost gone. His blazer. Oh no, his blazer. A sense of dread filled him as he dropped to his knees and started to search the remains of his blazer that had floated to the ground. Oh no… oh no

His hand emerged from a pile of cloth, clutching a handful of scraps – the remains of his Screw-up.

Wordlessly, Kuroro crumpled the scraps in his hand as his other hand shot into his pants pocket. Before he knew it, he had keyed in that number and was listening to the ringtone.

Click. "Hello dear," Midoya's voice said pleasantly.

"You destroyed my Screw-up," Kuroro told her, almost shaking with grief. "It's torn. In pieces. My irreplaceable Screw-up is scrap!"

"Oh Kuroro, I am really sorry. I meant to maim you, not destroy your precious Screw-up."

"Oh and we all know what intentions are," Kuroro snapped, aghast. "I've heard the road to Hell is paved with the best of them. I don't care what you intended to do, Midoya. You destroyed my Screw-up! That is a crime, a true crime against everything that Art stands for."

"Darling, you're in a mood. Sit down and take some deep breaths."

"I can't because the oxygen in the vault is being burned out by the fire you made," Kuroro complained.

"Oh darling, you mustn't be too caught up in the details. Look at the big picture."

"Big picture?" Kuroro blinked as a wave of dizziness passed over him. He really hadn't been kidding when he said oxygen was running out fast in the vault. "What big picture?"

"Well, we've got the Infinity Gem, which is half our mission completed. Isn't that more important than being able to breathe? The mission always comes before the individual; is that not the Ryodan's way?"

She was being sarcastic, Kuroro realised. He had always known she used sarcasm to taunt her enemies. In fact, he had always enjoyed seeing her taunt other people; she had a very sharp wit and she put it to good use. Now, he knew just how aggravating it was to be on the receiving end of it. "Midoya," he said warningly. "You are pushing my limits."

"Oh Kuroro," Midoya finally sighed. "You are overreacting. It's not like this is the first time you've ever had any of this happen to you. You really should just get used to it and move on."

Kuroro closed his eyes and took a deep breath, probably using up the last of the oxygen as he did. "I am going to kill you," he told her softly.

"Of course dear; I would hardly expect anything less. Try to do so after I kill Armando though. It would be a shame if we came all the way here to kill him only to die without doing so." Without further words, she hung up.

Very slowly, Kuroro put the phone back into his pocket. Then steeling himself, he glanced regrettably at the remains of his Screw-up. "I shall avenge you," he promised the shreds of paper.

Ignoring the wave of dizziness that washed through him, Kuroro then approached the locked vault door and eyed it. Well then. Time to get out of here.


The closer they got to Dancho's position, the less reliant on Kalluto's powers they were. Dancho's familiar Nen was like a beacon in the mansion, and the Ryodan members, well-tuned to their leader's aura, could sense him once they were within range. By the time they burst into what turned out to be a bedroom, the Ryodan members already knew exactly where Dancho was.

"He's in that vault," Kalluto said, sounding like he was out of breath but trying to hide it. "I think he might be trapped."

"Got it," Phinx said through gritted teeth, and rolled up his sleeve, preparing to hit the door down. Before he could do so however, the door exploded, sending chunks of metal whipping through the air and ripping the bedroom apart.

"What the…" Kalluto, the nearest to the blast, blinked frantically as the dust cleared, trying to get the grit out of his eyes. As he did, a dark figure stepped out through the door way, blazing with wild, erratic, searing Nen. Dark eyes glanced at them, glowing an eerie blue that contrasted with the red embers within the vault.

"Ah, Phinx," Dancho said, pleasantly. "Good to see you. Oh, and there are more. Franklin, Machi, Kalluto. Hello."

Phinx looked at Dancho carefully. His clothing, especially his tuxedo blazer, was torn to shreds, his pale skin was smudged with black gunpowder, his hair was a mess and his eyes were unfocused as if he were daydreaming. Very slowly, Phinx took a careful step away.

"Hi Dancho," Machi said cautiously. "What happened?"

"Ah. I am still unclear on the details," Dancho said, his voice still even and pleasant. "Let me see. Well, Midoya got the Infinity Gem, Armando Basilio turned out to be either her brother-in-law, her cousin or her nephew, Midoya threw a bomb at me then ran out to kill Basilio and my Screw-up is gone forever. That about summarises the events of the past… goodness, it has barely been fifteen minutes." Dancho smiled faintly and Phinx subtly moved back some more until he was standing next to Machi. "So," Dancho went on, tilting his head curiously at them, "what are the four of you doing here?"

"It's five of us," Kalluto said, "Nobunaga is fighting Pepeka Timbal's sister." He sounded a lot cooler than Phinx felt. Those Zoldycks sure have some big balls.

"Kikita," Dancho said, nodding. "I should have known she was in on this. What 'this' is though, I have very little idea. Are you surprised? I am. It is so rare for me to have so little grasp of a situation like this. But that seems to be the case whenever Midoya is the ah… situation, so to speak."

Franklin cleared his throat. "We might have some idea," he said hesitantly. "That's why we're here actually."

"Oh? Do tell."

"Well…" Even Machi was starting to look uneasy. "Shalnark turned up some interesting information. It seems the Infinity Gem is the heirloom of the Kito family. It's… it's the thing that they use to determine who the Head of the family is or something like that. Shalnark mentioned just having the Gem gives the bearer legitimacy to rule the family. It seems that uh… Kito got her position because she was labelled heir in her father's will while he was still in possession of the Gem. Then he lost it, you know... so if someone else came up with the Infinity Gem… that would trump her father's will or something like that."

"Ah," Dancho said, looking enlightened. "That explains Midoya's interest in this. She's not only protecting her position, she is solidifying it and getting rid of competition at the same time. How smart of her. I am still not sure why she felt the need to backstab the Ryodan though. She told Basilio we knew where the Gem was, you know? I always thought it was weird Basilio managed to find out I had stolen the Gem as a child. It's not like anyone knew who I was then. I always thought only someone from Meteor City, someone who would recognise a description of me even as a child could have told him. I forgot there are people outside Meteor City who know me intimately. So Midoya told him and she told him to attack us. I really do wonder why…"

The Ryodan members, were by now, almost huddling together, giving in to the pack instinct of safety in numbers. "So uh… what do we do now?" Phinx asked hesitantly.

Dancho's eyes focused on him and Phinx cringed. "Well, it is obvious of course," Dancho said patiently. "We are going to kill Basilio and Midoya, and take back the Infinity Gem. Oh, we should probably kill Kikita too. She knew about this." Almost idly, Dancho rubbed his chin, obliviously smearing black stuff all over his mouth. Phinx wanted to tell Dancho to stop (he was starting to look increasingly deranged), but he didn't dare. "Kalluto, track Midoya down."

"Alright," Kalluto said easily. "Don't look."

Dancho gave him a politely inquisitive look and Kalluto turned pale. "Fine, only Dancho can look," he said sharply. "Everyone else look away!"

This time, no one protested when they turned around to face a wall. Behind them, Kalluto's Nen swelled. "Ah, what an interesting power," Dancho's voice said and Kalluto mumbled an embarrassed-sounding reply.

Finally, Kalluto's Nen went down. "She's heading up," he told them.

"Right." Dancho's dark eyes swept over them as they turned to face him. "Well then, Ryodan. Let's go chase down our little traitor."


A wisp of Nen, vaguely familiar but almost unidentifiable, brushed past her senses, and Midoya stopped in her tracks. Her head tilted as she searched for the Nen, but it was already gone. Hmm. Interesting. She wasn't sure who's that was, but she was pretty certain it was one of the Ryodan's. So, they were here. She had surmised as much when she felt Kikita's Nen swell in battle. Shortly after leaving Kuroro, she had tried calling Kikita but there had been no answer. No matter. Kikita could handle herself. Midoya had other things to do.

First, to deal with that unfamiliar Nen, she took the time to slip into In, diminishing her presence until it was almost gone. Then stealthily, Midoya pressed herself into the shadows of the corridor as she peered around the corner. Somewhere ahead of her was Armando Basilio, but he, like the One Star Hunter he was, had hidden his presence and she wasn't sure exactly where he was. What a sneaky little bastard; it was enough to let her know he had some Kito blood in him.

As she moved around the corner, she felt the heavy weight of the necklace around her neck. Almost as if to make sure it was really there, she touched it gently. She had paid quite a hefty price for this. Kuroro was, as seen by his call, absolutely furious with her. She wondered if he had been hurt by the blast. It didn't seem likely; he had been more upset about the loss of his painting than anything else. She wondered if her Nen-bomb had accidentally made Kuroro orgasm. That would have been quite a sight and might actually help gain his forgiveness. Not that it was likely he would truly forgive her. Kuroro can be quite a vindictive man when he wronged.

Well, what was done cannot be undone. If he was to become her enemy then so be it. It wasn't quite as regrettable a thought as one might imagine. As good in bed as he was, Kuroro was most in his element as a criminal mastermind, and to have that genius criminal pit his wits against hers would truly be a delight.

A glint of silver. Something whistled past her and buried itself right next to her ear. Midoya didn't even flinch. "A very bad throw, Armando dear," she called out and immediately moved from her current position as more throwing knives embedded themselves in the wall where she had been.

From her new position, Midoya smiled. Based on the trajectory of the knives, she could guess where Armando was now. Resisting the urge to hum the theme song of that terrible movie with sharks in it, Midoya crept towards his position. However, by the time she got there, he was gone. Instead, she was greeted by another flurry of knives. This time, she was forced to drop to the floor and roll out of the way. Smart boy. He had deliberately lured her over so he could pinpoint her location.

On her way up, someone she hadn't sensed grabbed her and pulled her to her feet. Reacting instinctively, Midoya stuck a dagger through the person before she recognised his smell.

"Hisoka?" she murmured, barely moving her lips.

"Oh yes," he moaned, drawing another flurry of knives.

Midoya sighed as they dodged. "Where did I stab you this time?" she asked resignedly. Not somewhere incapacitating she hoped. He still had a part to play in her plans.

Hisoka chuckled. "Left bicep," he told her. "I want more. You promised."

"Later," Midoya assured him, ignoring him in favour of sending out her senses ahead. From the lack of attacks by Armando, he had probably figured out she had found help and had fled. She wanted to go after him but Hisoka picked her up suddenly and carried her through a door before she could react.

Slamming the door shut, Hisoka put her down and Midoya turned to glare at Hisoka – then blinked with surprise. He wasn't wearing his suit anymore. He wasn't even wearing a shirt or shoes. In fact, the only thing he wore was his pants, which looked like they had been shredded at by a wild cat.

"Clemence," Hisoka said in reply to her questioning look.

Ah. "You took care of her?" Midoya asked. A presence shivered down her spine suddenly and she tensed up. Hisoka smiled and licked her earlobe. "Hisoka," Midoya said slowly. "Is Clemence behind me?"

"Yeah, she is," Hisoka murmured, pressing up against her and openly feeling her up. Ignoring him, Midoya looked over her shoulder. Elegant Clemence, beautiful, graceful cousin, grand-aunt or grand-niece, was sprawled on the bed, her beautiful dress shredded to pieces, watching them with amusement.

"Bonsoir, Clemence," Midoya said as Hisoka's hands started to slide around her breasts. Primly, she pinched his hands until he let go with a giggle. Why were all the men around her so easily distracted during missions? You would have thought they have never seen a thousand year old statue before or touched a woman's breasts before.

"I'm really hard," Hisoka purred in her ear. "I can't decide if I want to fuck you or rip your throat out. Fighting Clemence made me so hard. You didn't tell me she knew Nen."

"I thought you would like the surprise," Midoya murmured, stepping out of his reach. "Clemence darling is a One Star Hunter in her own right. I'm sure the fight was fun."

"Oui, June," Clemence said, amused. "Did I make you angry by calling you my poupee just now? You must know it is only my little joke."

"So you did recognise me," Midoya concluded. "Interesting." Carefully, she slid onto the bed next to Clemence.

"But of course, mon chouchou," Clemence replied, making space for her. Hisoka joined them, sliding around to spoon with Clemence. Midoya raised her eyebrow at that but Clemence ignored that with great dignity. "Tell me, June. Why did you get this stunning man here to kill me?"

Midoya shrugged elegantly. "You were very openly supportive of Armando's takeover of the Kito estate," she said mildly.

"Oh non! I am shocked! Horribly shocked! Me openly support Armando's takeover of your estate? Did you think I was that evil?"

"Was I mistaken?" Midoya asked innocently. "Goodness, I would never have thought you making a public announcement that you wish to support Armando's acquisition of the Infinity Gem could have been anything but an explicit show of support for his plans."

Clemence's heavily smeared lips spread in a wide smile. "Ah, my petit mademoiselle, you must know that was more a political move than anything else," she said with mock sadness. "Besides, who do you think leaked to you that dear Armando was trying to steal your estate?"

"Ah," Midoya said ambivalently. It was true someone had leaked the information to her that Armando was actively aiming for the Kito estate even before he had made the public announcement, but she had no confirmation that it was Clemence. For all she knew, Clemence was lying about that. It would be odd if it was true though. Odd, and very interesting.

Gracefully, Clemence stroked Hisoka's arms, which were wrapped around her, much too tightly, as seen by the way her skin was starting to bruise. "Mon chouchou, I must confess what shocked me more was not my support for Armando, but yours," she murmured. "What did you say to Armando that made him think you would willingly give up your position to him? What did you say to convince him you were helping him?"

Midoya smiled. "I told him I wanted to give up the tiresome life of the Head of Estate, marry him and spend the rest of my life making his babies."

Clemence's mouth parted in surprise. "And he believed you? Unbelievable!" she cried, throwing her arms in the air. "Men! They think we women want nothing but their bite!"

"It's true," Hisoka purred from behind her and grinded his hips against her.

"Oh, you," Clemence tittered. Then more seriously, she added, "Still, that fils du pute. A true batard if I ever saw one. He was willing to discard poor Leah for you? Sweet, stupid little Leah who had followed him like a loyal puppy since he was a little boy?"

"Quite. I present a much more advantageous marriage than Leah, that poor dear," Midoya agreed. "But Clemence, why did you help me? You are usually much closer to Armando. The both of you have more interests in common than we do."

For a moment, a genuine smile flittered over Clemence's face. "Mon chouchou," she said fondly. "Yes, Armando and I, but we are close. Yet we fight so often about many things, like you! Armando doesn't like you, he thinks you don't deserve what you have now, but I've always admired you! You have much courage. In this business… it is so hard to flourish… as a woman. These men don't take us seriously. They think because we have breasts and no bite, we have no brains. Those imbeciles! But you have accomplished much, perhaps even more than I have. In these circles, these same men faint at the thought of offending you. That is truly to be admired, mon petit."

"Oh." Midoya blinked, oddly touched. No one had ever told her they knew how difficult it had been for her to reach the position she was in now, how difficult it had been for a child, and a female child at that, to gain the position she had now in what was still largely a man's world. "Thank you."

"And if Armando dies, I stand a chance, as his closest relative, to inherit some of his estate. So I have nothing to lose by supporting you. If anything, I gain an ally, some money, and perhaps a good friend." Clemence smiled. "If you lose to Armando though, this conversation never happened, oui?"

"Of course dear, I would not like to sabotage your plans to play both Armando and I equally. I've always admired you too, Clemence. Not many people can… endure Hisoka like you have."

Clemence laughed. "Hisoka is a little cocotte truly," she said, leaning over and pulling Hisoka's hair violently. "He's not as nasty as people say."

"No," Hisoka said, pouting sadly, "I am extremely misunderstood." To prove that, he leaned over and delivered a painful, nasty bite on Clemence's shoulder. Midoya had seen dog bites less severe than that. Not that Clemence seemed to mind.

At that, the thought occurred to her that she was sitting on a bed that Hisoka and Clemence had just had violent, kinky sex on. "At any rate," Midoya said, getting up quickly, "I need to get going. I still have to kill Armando, and I need to do so before Kuroro and the Ryodan find me."

"Ryodan? You mean the Genei Ryodan? Ma cherie, you don't cut corners when you decide to make enemies, do you?"

"What can I say? I'm charming that way." Midoya turned to leave but Clemence held out a hand to stop her.

"June, wait a minute. I have more news. I got Hisoka to bring you here so I could tell you that Armando has a helicopter on the roof. He should be heading there."

Oh really? Great minds think alike. "Merci," Midoya told her and kissed her cheek.

Clemence looked at her evenly. "You knew?" she asked.

Midoya simply smiled. "You are a wonderful cousin, Clemence," she said instead. "Do you remember playing dolls together when we were younger?"

"Oui, we made Betty execute Sammy with a paper clip, and we figured out how to dismember Charlie together. It was much fun. And June." Clemence's eyes were warm and kind now. "Good luck."

Midoya blinked. "Oui, Clemence," she replied. "Merci." Tilting her head, Midoya regarded Hisoka thoughtfully. "Do you want to fight Kuroro and the Ryodan, or do you prefer to stay here and let Clemence spank you?" she asked innocently.

Clemence giggled. Hisoka joined her. They sounded eerily similar. "I will be happy to help you violently kill Kuroro and the Ryodan, Midoya-chan," Hisoka said, licking blood off his lips. With another giggle, Clemence patted his bottom playfully. Hisoka reciprocated the gesture by pouncing on her.

Midoya smiled into the distance and contemplated Plato's Cave of Shadows until they were done mauling each other.

"Alright, I'm ready to go," Hisoka told her, face bleeding from bite marks and scratches.

"Fantastic," Midoya beamed. Glancing at the now entirely naked and bleeding Clemence, she added, "Goodbye Clemence."

"Au revoir," Clemence replied, wriggling her torn and bloodied fingers. "See you later, Hisoka., mon amour."

When they have stepped back into dark corridor, Midoya gave Hisoka an even look. "I told you to kill Clemence and you didn't," she scolded. "How did she convince you not to kill her?"

Hisoka's smile widened. "It was rather spontaneous. We fought for a long time, a long blissful time, filled with blood and pain. But the more I cut her, the harder I got, and the more she cut me, the wetter she got and eventually, the red threads of fate drew us together, closer and closer until… ah! The sweet climax of pleasure… oh, it was too much to bear, Midoya-chan. You should have been there; you would have loved it."

It was only then that Midoya noticed the red lipstick marks on his back. "Oh. How… sweet." And that, Midoya mused, as they headed for the rooftop, was the most disturbing thing she had heard in a while. Coming from her, that meant something alright…


The halls of the Basilio mansion were dark and devoid of any presence. It forced the Ryodan to move slowly and steadily. For Kuroro, it was as near to torture as being stuck in the eye with a hot poker. Every second they wasted feeling around the place meant more time for Midoya to escape. Yet, they couldn't risk just rushing around the corners, not with a powerful foe like Midoya. Being forced to move so slowly was just so…

Without warning, Kalluto stopped and made an annoyed sound. "I've lost her trace," he said morosely. "The last of her presence is somewhere around… here."

Kuroro walked over to where Kalluto was and examined the area he was pointing to carefully. "Ah," he said finally. "Phinx, a little help here?"

The throwing knife was embedded deeply in the wall, but Phinx somehow managed to yank it out. The blade broke off as he did, but at least he managed to get the handle out. "Ah shit. Sorry Dancho. Here," he said, offering it to Kuroro.

Kuroro took it and turned it over in his hand. "It's not Midoya's," he murmured, "But the Nen traces on it…" he ran a finger over the handle, "I would say belongs to Armando Basilio." Had they lost her trail? This was not a good sign. He didn't trust himself to be able to guess with any accuracy what Midoya would do next; she was as unpredictable as a tropical storm. Besides, having only just learned of her intentions less than fifteen minutes ago, he did not feel like he had enough knowledge to guess at her plans. What the Ryodan had told him did not even begin to explain what she was doing in the Basilio mansion at the moment. There was not enough information and no time to acquire what was necessary.

"They fought here?" Phinx asked.

"No," Kuroro said immediately. "Not enough blood and destruction. Midoya can be subtle, but when she goes all out, there tends to be all sorts of… body parts lying about. Besides, her Nen is almost non-existent here. She was hiding herself which means she was following him, and he was trying to get rid of her."

"You're right," Machi, further ahead down the corridor, called, "there're traces of their Nen here. It's barely visible. You have to be right on top of it to feel it." She paused. "And I smell roses."

Roses. "Hisoka is here too," Kuroro told them, and felt the Ryodan members tense up. "I thought it was a coincidence. How silly of me."

"She teamed up with Hisoka?" Phinx spluttered. "Is she insane? Hisoka will turn on her in a split second if he felt it would benefit him."

"Yes, but he is also one of the people she knows for sure has fought me to a draw before," Kuroro said thoughtfully. "And the verdict is still out on whether Midoya is insane or not."

The more he thought about it, the more the scope of Midoya's plan astounded him. There were so many layers to her plan. First, she had to somehow convince all these opposing sides, Basilio, the Ryodan, Hisoka and Kikita, that she was on their side. Then she had to figure out a way to play all sides against each other. To do so, she had used Basilio against the Ryodan, the Ryodan against Basilio, and Hisoka and Kikita, he had no doubt, against everyone else. If that was not enough, she had to do all of that without the benefit of her Hunter license or the power and money of the Kito estate, for to use any of her normal resources would be to alert Basilio to her involvement in this. How had she convinced everyone to do as she planned?

And here was the embarrassing part. He had been a key part in her plan. Kuroro Lucifer, Dancho of the Genei Ryodan. By winning him over, she had effectively gained control over the entire Ryodan. She told him the plan, and he told the Ryodan the plan and… they did as she wanted them to. It was only when he was separated from the Ryodan, when they were running things on their own, that her plan had fell apart. He had been the weak link because of his past with her.

"No use beating yourself up over it, Dancho," Franklin rumbled in his ear and Kuroro blinked.

"Am I truly that obvious?" he asked curiously.

Franklin shrugged. "I've known you a long time," he said. "And Kito. Well. She's known you a long time too. She knew exactly what made you tick, knew exactly what she needed to do to make you jump. You can't spend that much time with someone and not have them crawl under your skin somehow."

"Regrettably so," Kuroro agreed.

"And you know, Dancho?"

"Yes, Franklin?"

Franklin coughed delicately. "You must consider the idea that you might have crawled under her skin too," he said in a deliberately even voice.

His first thought was that the image of him crawling about under Midoya's skin was a truly horrifying one. His second thought was that Franklin was right. He had known Midoya as long as she had known him. Surely he knew things about her only someone of his position would know. Immediately, he realised he had been thinking about this the wrong way. The point wasn't to predict Midoya's plan in its entirety; he had already reached the realisation that her plan was much more complex than he had ever imagined and that she had goals he only half-understood. Nor was there any point in reacting to the situation as has been established by her. To do so would mean they would always be one step behind her. What he needed to do was to think of something that she must do and he might be able to guess how she would do it.

"Point of extraction," Kuroro said finally. The other Ryodan members turned to look at him. "That's where we can catch her. We have no idea what she is doing at the moment, and no idea what else she plans to do in this mansion, so we can't predict where she is at the moment. However, no matter what happens, Midoya has to leave this place eventually. She should have a plan for escaping this mansion, and it would be one that involves taking Kikita with her." He paused thoughtfully. "Kikita is close to her. They are very good friends. You remember how when we were trying to escape the Fort, Midoya kept reminding us we needed to get Pepeka too? Given how close Midoya is to Kikita, she would not leave Kikita behind any more than she would have left Pepeka behind in the Fort when the Association was still trying to kill her. Their mode of escape would require one that can take at least two people then."

"She would leave Hisoka behind?" Kalluto asked.

"Wouldn't you?" Machi replied wryly.

"Didn't you guys come in a car?" Phinx asked. "Isn't that her point of extraction?"

"No," Kuroro disagreed. "It's too… obvious." In fact, Kuroro thought, he had a feeling he knew where she was heading to. "The roof," Kuroro said. "She's heading for the roof. She must have some form of escape up there. It will be entirely unexpected because it seems so counter-intuitive. The higher you go, the harder it is to escape. To escape from a high place, you need specialised equipment or forms of transport. Surely, it is less convenient to escape from there. That's what I would normally think, what most people would normally think. Hence, that's the route she will choose."

"Really?" Phinx asked. "You sure, Dancho?"

He thought about it, thought about all the times he had seen her escape from danger. He knew her M.O. Distraction, misdirection and unexpected routes of escape. "As sure as I can be in this situation," Kuroro said. To Phinx, he added, "You said Nobu is fighting Kikita? Tell him to delay the fight. Draw it out. Midoya wouldn't leave until Kikita is with her. That, I am very certain of."

"On it," Phinx said, taking out his phone.

"And the rest of us," Kuroro ordered, "to the roof."


"Distract her, huh?" Nobunaga muttered as he hung up the phone. "Easier said than done." Shaking himself out to loosen his increasingly stiff shoulders, Nobunaga raised his sword again and half-glared at his opponent, though his heart wasn't in it.

Before him stood Kikita Timbal, tall, Amazonian, and blazing with Nen. Her eyes, wide and wild, glowed red at him over a wide half-snarl half-grin. The dress shirt she had been wearing had shredded when her muscles had swelled up magnificently, bulging with throbbing veins as she howled an unspoken challenge at him. He had sliced her many times during the battle, and her body was wet and slick with blood. Now, wearing only a sports bra, a tiny skirt dyed red with blood, a claymore in one hand and a five foot battle-axe in the other, and pink foam at the sides of her mouth, she looked a true vision of madness.

How beautiful she was, Nobunaga thought happily. Reinforcement types were truly the best. Even their women were prettier than other Nen types.

Holding his katana out, Nobunaga shouted, "Come on! Come at me bitch!" thus offering her the first move just as he thought a true gentleman should. He hoped she noticed.

Kikita Timbal tossed her head and howled, sending a shiver down Nobunaga's spine. Her blonde hair appeared to glow white in the moonlight as she lowered her head and snarled. Then screaming, she pounded forward, kicking up dirt as she charged at him, battle axe raised to deliver a deadly blow. Nobunaga dodged swiftly to the right, already knowing from experience (and a broken wrist), that he had no way of taking the full force of her attacks without suffering some form of embarrassing injury – like death.

To his surprise, even as the battle axe smashed into the ground, uprooting a few small trees, the claymore swung in a horizontal stroke, aiming straight for his neck. Cursing violently, Nobunaga ducked down as the claymore swept over his head, barely missing his top-knot. Nobunaga barely had time to congratulate himself before a heavy, muscular leg buried itself into his ribs and thrust him ten feet into a tree that had somehow survived the first blow.

Coughing blood, Nobunaga forced himself back to his feet, feeling his ribs move around as he did. Ah, broken ribs; haven't had those in a while. The feeling was almost nostalgic. It was just like the early days of the Ryodan when they were still green and innocent… Saying a word he probably shouldn't have said in front of this beautiful woman, Nobunaga dived again, gasping with pain as he was forced to roll to avoid the battle axe again.

This time, he didn't wait for the claymore to come down. Instead, he continued his roll until he was near a tree before launching himself towards her, using the tree as a jumping board. He was within the range of her weapons in a split second, and he saw those glowing red eyes glaring at him fearlessly even when she realised she couldn't possibly bring her weapons back in time to block his blow.

For a moment, Nobunaga hesitated. Was he supposed to cut off her head now? Maybe he should just nick her face a little. That would be a non-fatal cut and would give her the even nicer grungy look all Reinforcement types have. Nice, grungy look. Ooh. Sexy.

Controlling the Nen in his katana carefully, Nobunaga swiped at her face, drawing a thin line of blood straight across the top of her cheeks and her nose. She screamed in surprise and rage, and her head jerked back reflexively. Immediately, Nobunaga kicked her in the chest hard. She choked violently as she flew backwards, smashing into a tree of her own.

Without allowing her time to recover, Nobunaga zipped towards her, stopping just when his katana touched her throat. "Alright, enough is enough," he said gruffly, meeting her glaring red eyes firmly. "Stop this nonsense now."

She snarled at him, pink foaming at the edges of her mouth as her muscles tensed to pounce.

What the fuck was he supposed to do now? Nobunaga wondered. Was he supposed to let her make her move and then respond to it? Or should he cut her throat to stop her from fighting more? It didn't seem polite to cut the throat of a woman he liked. At least that's what he learnt from watching television. You just don't kill the woman you like.

Fortunately, he was saved from having to make the decision when Kikita Timbal smashed his nose in with her forehead.

Groaning and spluttering blood, Nobunaga tumbled to the ground, clutching his face. God, that hurt! Still, despite his injury and the blood gushing down his face, he had enough presence of mind to form a proper shield around him just in case Kikita Timbal decided to stomp his spine in.

To his surprise, he heard her say, "Fuck!" very loudly as she stumbled backwards, one hand pressed to her forehead which was gushing blood. "What the fuck is your head made of?" she cursed, blood running in rivulets down her face. "Fucking diamonds?"

"Dancho always told me I am very hard-headed," Nobunaga demurred modestly. It was a compliment, wasn't it, to compare him to diamonds? Diamonds were nice and pretty and expensive things after all.

"Well your Dancho got that right," Kikita Timbal scowled, backing away from him. The red glow had faded from her eyes and her muscles no longer bulged appealingly out of her skin. It seemed to Nobunaga that she had finally slid out of her berserker mode.

"Dancho is always right," Nobunaga told her as he climbed to his feet. "He's smart that way. And pure. Like a baby."

Kikita Timbal glared at him with a disbelieving look on her face. "You obviously have not heard Kuroro and Midoya talk about sex before," she sneered caustically.

As a matter of fact, Nobunaga had heard Dancho and Kito talk about sex before. He had even walked in on them in the middle of the act. He just chose to designate all those little moments as brief episodes of insanity brought on by the corrupting influence of an obviously bad woman. Not that he actually thought Kito was bad. She was actually a pretty decent human being, in his opinion, even if she seemed to be planning the Ryodan's impending doom or whatever shit that was. Not like she was the first person in the world to do that. Besides, it's hard to take it personally when it happens so darn often. "It's not that bad," Nobunaga protested finally. "Dancho is really pure. I swear he is."

"Uh huh." Kikita Timbal didn't seem to believe him at all, but that was fine. She looked the prettiest when she was aggressive, like all Reinforcement Types. "Whatever man, you getting up to fight or not?" she growled, her Nen starting to swell again.

Now, that was the fucking question, wasn't it? Nobunaga had no idea how many times she could do that berserker thing. And once she went berserk, she was near fucking impossible to pin down. That was not good. He had to either defeat her or distract her until Dancho found Kito. Man, how the fuck was he going to do this? He wasn't a bad fighter, but Kikita Timbal was good, like A-list good. Sure, he could probably kill her if he tried really hard, but he didn't know if he could defeat her without killing her. He would really prefer not to kill her. It's very hard to woo a corpse, even if it's one as pretty as she is. Seriously, her legs looked like they could kick out a rhino's head. The muscle definition was seriously to die for. Damn, they were so hot. He has always loved muscles like that.

Well, come to think of it, he didn't have to fight, did he? Of course, if he wanted to defeat her, he needed to throw down with her, but if just needed to distract her…

"Hello?" Kikita Timbal was saying impatiently. "Did I hit you that hard? Are you down for the count? Can I just fucking leave you here and get on with my fucking life?"

"Oh, oh, oh, I am really hurt!" Nobunaga declared in what he hoped was a voice filled with agony and anguish. "Oh, I am hurting so bad I am seeing uh… pink elephants." Moaning theatrically, he dropped to the ground and tried to look like he was in pain and not like he was having an epileptic fit. Spasms are totally not sexy.

The claymore lowered as Kikita Timbal stared at him. "Shit, I really did hit you that hard," she muttered.

"No, no," Nobunaga protested, "I mean, yeah, you hit me hard, because you are so strong being Reinforcement and all, but I'm hurting not because I am like a wimp or anything. I'm just uh… Hey, man, I can't breathe properly. Whoa, this is like totally insane." He managed to hack a cough or two, blinking at her hopefully.

"Uh… you can't breathe?" Kikita Timbal asked. She didn't exactly sound worried, but she didn't sound uncaring either. That was nice of her. Damn, she must be a big softie deep inside. All Reinforcement types were. Just look at Ubogin: all about squashing skulls and breaking bones and eating brains on the outside, but really sweet and cuddly deep, deep, deep, deep… deep inside. "Ah fuck," Kikita Timbal growled, throwing up her arms in the air. "I hate it when my opponents do that. Now I would feel bad if I left you to drown in your own blood. Besides, Midoya did tell me not to… oh fuck! You just threw up! Fucking, shit, gross!"

He had just thrown up. It was one in a series of skills Ubo and he had acquired as kids: the ability to fart, burp and puke on command. Nobunaga beamed proudly. Machi and Paku had mocked them then but he always knew it was a skill that would come in handy one day.

"Alright, alright!" Kikita Timbal shouted, marching over. "Damn it! I thought you Ryodan guys are supposed to be tougher than this! Hell, your Dancho was pretty darn fucking tough. I might have actually lost if he wasn't just playing around too, and don't fucking tell me he wasn't. I can tell when someone isn't taking me seriously. I mean, he was playing around with a new skill when he fought me. Which fucking idiot does that in an actual… Hey, you're breathing normally. Are you fucking around with me too?"

"But you're pretty," Nobunaga said earnestly, his eyes shining with tears. "You're so fucking pretty."

"… Excuse me?" Kikita Timbal demanded. "What did you say?"

"That's you're pretty… like a fox-bear. Fuck, you're a real pretty fox-bear, miss."

"Is that a compliment or an insult?" Kikita Timbal questioned as she propped him up against a tree. "Do I want to look like a fox-bear?"

What a silly question. "Of course you do," Nobunaga told her. "Fox-bears are fucking awesome."

"Oh yeah?"

"Yeah." Nobunaga took in a wet breath. Holy crap, he might have really pierced a lung or something. Bloody foam was not a good sign, right? Damn, he wished Shalnark or Dancho were here to tell him if he should be worried.

"Well, you're not too bad," Kikita Timbal mused. "Not many people in this world care about fox-bears. Or any other bears actually. Did you know fox-bears are so endangered they can only be found on this tiny fishing island called Whale Island? Fucking terrible, isn't it? They used to be more widespread till poaching diminished their numbers."

"Thanks," Nobunaga beamed, though he had no idea what she was talking about. It was enough to know she thought he wasn't too bad. That was practically a marriage proposal, right?

A silence fell as Kikita Timbal gently examined his broken nose. Nobunaga took the opportunity to examine her closely in return (only seemed fair). Damn, she was beautiful. Her brother was a beautiful man too, and damn if those same features that made Pepeka Timbal a handsome man didn't make Kikita Timbal one fucking gorgeous woman.

"There," Kikita Timbal said, stuffing a wad of tissue none too gently against his bleeding nose, "that should hold it for a while till your friends find you later."

"'k," Nobunaga said nasally as he breathed through his mouth. Damn, now he really had trouble breathing because of the tissue. He should just take it away, but she had given it to him. It was only polite to accept it, right?

"You fine?" Kikita Timbal demanded, as if she dared him to deny that he was perfectly fine.

"Ya," Nobunaga replied happily.

"Good man," Kikita Timbal said, giving him a heavy thump on the shoulder that almost made him pass out. "Then I'll be on my way. If I'm late, Midoya's going to be so fucking pissed off at me."

Wait. That was not good. She wasn't supposed to leave! Dancho's orders! "Vait," Nobunaga cried, still holding the tissue to his nose. "Vait a minit." God, the tissue smelt like her even through the blood. He was never throwing the tissue away.

Kikita Timbal stopped in her tracks and glared at him. "What?" she demanded irritably.

What? "Uh…" Nobunaga replied eloquently. Okay, think! He had to think of a pretty darn good reason, and he doubted saying something like 'Please stay' would keep this woman here. "Uh… erm…"

"Well?" Kikita Timbal demanded. "You have five seconds to speak or I'm leaving."

Oh shit. "Ma toe hu'ts," Nobunaga blurted out.

A beat. "What?" Kikita Timbal asked incredulously.

"Ma toe hu'ts," Nobunaga tried to say convincingly. "Will you bandage it up for mwe?"

Kikita Timbal shot him a disbelieving look. "Your nose is broken, your lungs are filled with holes and your ribs are broken. Yet the one thing you are concerned about is your toe?"

Nobunaga blinked. So he did have holes in his lungs. Well, that was fucking inconvenient. But whatever. It's not like he hadn't had holes in his lungs before. "Vell, it's not like I can ban'age up ma lungs," he retorted defensively. "Come on; just help me fix ma toe, will y'u?"

"What the fuck…! Fine!" Kikita Timbal threw her arms in the air in a gesture of surrender before stomping over and yanking off his geta. "Where the fuck on your toe does it hurt?"

What do you know? It worked! "Um… my vhole toe hu'ts," Nobunaga lied proudly.

Blue eyes glared at him. "Your whole toe hurts?" she asked, deadpan.

"Uh… yeah?"

"Since when did I attack your entire fucking toe?"

"Uh… erm… that time?"

Blue eyes narrowed. "Dude? Seriously?"

"It's arhth'itis," Nobunaga mumbled defensively. "It hu'ts vhen it's cold."

With a disgusted sound, Kikita Timbal dropped his foot (which jarred his broken ribs and really caused him some pain, he might add). "What the fuck, man!" she shouted. "What is your problem? Are you looking for a fight?"

"No, no," Nobunaga protested hurriedly (because his toe did really hurt now, damn the damp Agocchi night air). "Not a fight. I'm not loo'ing for a fight, I mean. I mean… hey, the moon is weal pwetty today, ain't it?"

"Okay, that's it. You're freaky and I'm leaving."

"No wait!" In his nervousness, Nobunaga threw an arm up and grabbed hold of her wrist. She tensed instinctively and shoved him away.

"What the fuck, man!" Kikita shouted. "What do you want?"

And before Nobunaga could stop himself, the words were out of his mouth. "Mawwee me!" he shouted desperately. "Just… mawee me."


AN: This week, shit has happened in real life and I probably wouldn't have the chance to upload as fast as I had hoped to. I will definitely try to meet the one-chapter-a-week deadline I've set for myself, but we'll have to see. I'm really depressed at the moment thanks to the aforementioned 'shit', and hopefully that wouldn't influence the tone of this story too much.

Trivial: This was also not the first time Midoya had accidentally destroyed a precious item that Kuroro had stolen.

Many months ago, when Kuroro was still hoping Midoya would join the Ryodan, he had decided that one of the ways to persuade Midoya to do so was to actually let her join him on one of his robberies. Hence, in an attempt to convince her to take up the merry life of a criminal, he had invited her along when he decided to rob the York Shin Museum of Rare Books.

Beforehand, as he would have done with his Ryodan, Kuroro had sat Midoya down and briefed her on the details of his plan. The goal, he explained, was the rare fifteen century edition of Anaphelotis's Fish and Pets, a truly masterful treatise on the impact of the fishing industry on the ideology of animals, and an art piece in its own right. The front cover, he had told an attentive Midoya, was made out of real gold and encrusted with precious gems. Midoya had listened carefully and understood the plan with amazing speed. Kuroro had been incredibly pleased because it proved that while Midoya was an excellent strategist and tactician in her own right, she was also fully capable of following instructions. That was one of the key attributes of a good Ryodan member after. With such excellent help at hand, Kuroro really could not see how things could go wrong.

Three hours later, the York Shin Museum of Rare Books was on fire, Kuroro and Midoya were covered with soot and nothing else, and Fish and Bread was a melted puddle of metal on the ground.

Up till this date, Kuroro was not sure exactly what had gone wrong. He was fairly certain things had started off perfectly. They had broken into the museum without alerting the guards or setting off any alarms and had found the book easily enough. The point when things started to go downhill, Kuroro guessed, was right about the time Midoya said, "Hey, what is that shiny thing in the corner of the shelf?" His memories after that were quite fuzzy. There were some vague and indistinct memories about robot assassins, poisonous gases and enraged librarians running after them with laser guns. He did remember stumbling out into the cold night air of York Shin with Midoya by his side, both of them foaming at the mouth as the poisonous gas they had inhaled slowly killed them. Then they may or may not have had wild, frantic sex on the lawn of the museum.

Either way, when he woke up an hour later on the lawn (his body having rejected the poison by itself), he had found himself lying naked next to an equally naked Midoya who had pointed sheepishly at a puddle of gold at her feet and said, "I may have accidentally destroyed that when I used Ying just now, but hey, we still acquired it right? Mission accomplished?"

A couple of months later, even as Kuroro listened disappointedly to Midoya turn down his offer to join the Ryodan, he couldn't help feeling just a little relieved as well.