Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto, or any properties in this work that I did not make myself.
Guess who's back?
Chapter nine: Serpent's Strike
It was around midnight one evening in the village of Konohagakure. Sasuke Uchiha, ex-rouge ninja, was fast asleep in his government-provided apartment. The dream he was having wasn't so much an actual dream, rather it was a sort of reel depicting scenes from the past week or so; his return to Konoha after disappearing for the two years after the fourth great ninja war ended, his becoming a ward/agent of Konoha in his quest for redemption, and re-earning the respect and trust of his old friends, one job at a time.
A few days ago, after assisting with taking down ex-academy instructor Mezuki, Sasuke had gained the support of his old teammates, Naruto Uzumaki and Sakura Haruno, along with the support of that girl who is Neji's cousin (Sasuke couldn't remember the girl's name to save his life); with these three, Sasuke had finished re-gaining all of his old friends.
Sasuke's dream had reached the point where, over a dinner at the Akimichi clan compound with all of their friends, Naruto and that girl who is Neji's cousin had revealed to everyone that they were engaged to be married. What followed immediately after Naruto and what's her face breaking the news was Tenten screaming excitedly at the top of her lungs. In a move that was both lucky and unlucky for Sasuke, he woke up right before Tenten started screaming. The last Uchiha was stirred from his sleep by someone knocking at his apartment door. Looking at the analogue clock on his nightstand, Sasuke saw that it was three minutes past midnight.
"…Who the hell in their right mind would be waking someone up at this ungodly hour?" Sasuke mumbled aloud to himself as he got up from bed, left his bedroom, and walked all the way over to his front door. Opening it, Sasuke saw that he was being visited by an adult male Konoha shinobi of the jonin rank; this man, for reasons that escaped Sasuke, bore a striking resemblance to his friend Sakura. In fact, this man looked sort of like an adult male version of Sakura. (1) "Can I…help you, sir?" Sasuke asked, trying to be as polite as possible (which was quite a Herculean feat on Sasuke's part, given the time of night at which this visitor decided to drop by).
"…Crap, this is the wrong apartment," the Konoha shinobi said aloud as he shook his head, allowing his shoulder-length pink hair to shake mildly. To Sasuke, the pink-haired jonin said, "Sorry for waking you up, dude. I was trying to find a relative of my friend Inoichi's who lives in this apartment building. There's some sort of trouble for the Nara clan, and Inoichi wants as many Yamanaka to help out as possible."
"Huh," Sasuke remarked as he started to wake up more and more, "I wasn't aware that there were any relatives of Ino's living here in the apartment building. Wait, what did you say about trouble for the Nara clan?"
"That's none of your concern, young man," the Konoha jonin insisted with a wave of his right hand, "Again, sorry again for causing you this wait a minute." Deviating midway through his response to Sasuke, the Konoha jonin said, "You know Inoichi's daughter?"
"Yeah, I know Ino," Sasuke replied, "She's a friend of mine. In fact, Shikamaru, Choji, Neji and I helped save Ino from this crazy cursed amulet this one time."
Eyeing Sasuke with a look of suspicion on his face, the Konoha jonin said, "You aren't that artsy little son of a bitch who's dating Inoichi's daughter, are you?" Reaching into the weapons pouch on the back of the belt he was wearing, the Konoha jonin continued, "Because I don't have my baseball bat on hand right now, so I'll have to use a-"
"Ino is dating Sai, not me," Sasuke interrupted. Hearing Sasuke's reply made the Konoha jonin pull his hand back out of his weapons pouch, leaving the kunai he was intending to pull out right where it was.
"…So, if you aren't that artsy little turd who's with Inoichi's daughter, then who the hell are you?" the Konoha jonin asked.
"I'm Sasuke Uchiha," replied Sasuke, shifting to his right side. Looking at the Konoha jonin, Sasuke continued, "I take it that you're one of Ino's dad's friends that Ino told me about? The ones who help her dad harass Sai?"
Straightening up, the Konoha jonin held a hand out to Sasuke for a handshake. "The name's Harold Fisher," replied the Konoha jonin, "And let me say that I'm glad to see you aren't that artsy little stain on society who's dating Inoichi's daughter." With three parts trepidation and seven parts confusion, Sasuke accepted Harold's handshake.
"You know, Mr. Fisher," Sasuke began in a conversational tone, "You resemble me and Ino's friend Sakura. Do you know her?"
"Well of course I know Sakura," Harold replied with a good-humored chuckle, "Sakura's my niece." Suddenly, Harold's expression changed from one of good humor to one of suspicion. Eyeing the last Uchiha with a suspicious glare, Harold asked, "You aren't one of those artsy little sonsabitches who arts for their art, are you?"
"…No," Sasuke replied, now all parts confused rather than just seven parts, "I have worse drawing skills than most five-year-old children." Hearing Sasuke admit to having horrific artistic skills, Harold sighed in relief.
Putting a hand on Sasuke's right shoulder, Harold said, "Well, that's one point in your favor. If you can keep up the good work, then I'd have no trouble with you dating my niece."
"Umm," Sasuke replied, sounding as confused as he has been for most of this conversation, "Wouldn't it be more up to Sakura's father if I dated Sakura, rather than up to you?"
"As much as I have mad props for my bro-in-law Kizashi," Harold began, "The dude has no frigg'en clue on how to do the Overprotective Dad shtick. He's gonna have to call me in for back up the day that Sakura brings a boy home."
His patience with Harold starting to wear thin (2), Sasuke said, "Aren't you supposed to be looking for a relative of Ino's who lives here in the apartment building?"
"Oh snap," Harold remarked as he remembered that he was on a mission, "Thanks for the reminder, kid! I gotta find that Yamanaka dude for Inoichi!" Without even offering so much as a good-bye, Harold dashed off. Wondering how in the hell such a man could be related to a girl like Sakura, Sasuke simply closed his door, locked it, then went back to bed.
Much later that morning, Sasuke was grabbing a to-go cup of coffee from a coffee shop on his way to the Hokage office building, to report to Lady Tsunade for his job for the day. When he walked into the coffee shop, he was surprised to see his friend Sakura Haruno there as well. The two of them ended up talking to each other as they waited in line to make their respective orders. As they waited, Sasuke told Sakura of his encounter in the very early hours of the morning with her uncle.
Face-palming as Sasuke went on with his story, Sakura said, "Oh my God, Sasuke. I am SO sorry that you had to deal with my idiot uncle, and at so ungodly an hour to boot."
"At least he didn't mean any harm," Sasuke remarked casually with a shrug of his shoulders, "Although I get the feeling he most likely would have attacked me if I hadn't told him that I wasn't Sai when he asked me."
Sighing in an exasperated tone, Sakura said, "Yeah, that sounds about right for my uncle. You know Sasuke, even at Naruto's dumbest, he was STILL smarter than my Uncle Harold."
"Come on, Sakura," Sasuke replied, "I'm pretty sure that you're being a little hard on your uncle. The man can't be all that bad, can he?"
"Remember that twenty-page thesis that was published a while ago?" Sakura replied, "You know, the one that discussed the effects of drinking name brand beer versus generic beer?"
"Yeah, I remember that," Sasuke replied, "For a thesis that was about drinking beer, of all things that a thesis could be about, it was not only surprisingly well-researched, but it received critical acclaim." A stunned look of realization appearing on his face, Sasuke looked to his friend and said, "Your uncle wrote that?!" Sakura replied simply by nodding in the affirmative. It was at that point that Sasuke and Sakura reached the front of the line.
As he looked up at the menu, Sasuke said to Sakura, "Well, I suppose that there's all sorts of people in the world, huh?"
After they had gotten their coffee, Sasuke and Sakura made their way to the Hokage office building; Sasuke so that he could report to Lady Tsunade, the fifth (and current) Hokage, and Sakura to do her various tasks around the Hokage office building for the day. When Sasuke and Sakura walked into the Hokage office building, the first thing that they heard was a coarse woman's voice angrily snap, "Where the hell does that bitch Yoshino get off, huh?!"
"Although Shikaku's wife had no right to give you crap right off the bat," a voice familiar to Sasuke replied to the coarse woman's voice, "Keep in mind that after what her clan suffered due to your clan, you can't quite blame her for being suspicious."
Instantly, Sasuke's and Sakura's attention were drawn to the scene in front of them; Tsunade, with Shizune accompanying her, were talking to three adult Konoha jonin, two of them men and the third a woman, and a large ninja dog that was wearing an eyepatch; Sasuke recognized the two men as Harold Fisher and Inoichi Yamanaka, but he did not know the kunoichi jonin or the ninja dog. The familiar voice that Sasuke recognized was Harold's, and the last Uchiha assumed that the coarse woman's voice came from the kunoichi jonin.
"Umm…sorry for interrupting," Sakura called out to the adults, getting their attention. Gesturing to herself and Sasuke, Sakura continued, "But Sasuke and I just got here, and are looking to do our respective work for the day."
"Ah, well if it isn't little Cherry Bug!" Harold said, his mood obviously turning up for the better as he walked up to the two chunnin, "How's it going, sweetie?"
"Ehh, I've been through loads worse," Sakura replied, her tone obviously sounding embarrassed. Sasuke had to wonder if Sakura's embarrassment was due to running into a wacky relative randomly, or if it was due to being referred to by some embarrassing moniker. The last Uchiha assumed that it was the latter.
"Umm, Uncle Harold," Sakura began in a mildly unsure tone, "I don't mean to pry, but what are you, Mr. Yamanaka and Mrs. Inuzuka doing here?"
"Sakura, as you know, the Inuzuka clan was recently screwing with the Nara clan," Harold said in a mildly serious tone. Gesturing to Sasuke, Harold continued, "Thanks to your friend here, that screwing around was brought to an end."
"Since the Nara clan lost so many of their deer because of ninja from the Inuzuka clan killing them for meat, they've fallen on some hard times," Inoichi continued, "These hard times that they've fallen on has, very understandably, left the Nara clan kind of bitter."
"The Nara clan even acts bitter towards their allied clans, the Yamanaka and the Akimichi, who are trying to help them out," Harold added, "Along with any friendly ninja who tries to help out."
"Wait a minute," Sasuke interrupted. Directing his talk at Harold, Sasuke continued, "Your late-night visit to me last night. You mentioned that the Nara clan is facing some trouble. Is this related to what you mentioned last night?"
Sighing, Harold replied, "I suppose we should clue you in on that, young man." A mildly worried look on his face, Harold turned to face the other adults. "Assuming that it's okay with all y'all."
"I was actually going to have Sasuke take the job of investigating what's been going on," Tsunade remarked, "So letting Sasuke in on what's going on will actually help him do his job."
Having essentially received the go-ahead, Harold turned around to face Sasuke again. "Someone's been stealing machinery, computers and other such gear from the various Nara clan-owned warehouses and other facilities here in Konoha," the Fisher patriarch explained.
"…Seriously?" Sasuke replied, looking mildly confused, "Someone's been stealing tech from the Nara clan?"
"The Nara clan has had the gull to automatically accuse my clan of the thefts," the kunoichi jonin complained, "I mean, sure, some less than thoughtful kunoichi in my clan did kill some of the Nara clan's deer for their meat, but they were only trying to make sure that we got some food! The frig is my clan going to frigg'en do with some frigg'en tech we have no frigg'en idea how to frigg'en work?! Frig!"
"Umm…I'm sorry," Sasuke replied to the kunoichi jonin, "But who are you, miss?"
"Oh yeah, introductions are in order, I suppose," the kunoichi jonin replied. Gesturing to herself and then to the ninja dog, the kunoichi jonin said, "I'm Tsume Inuzuka. And this here in my ninja dog partner Kuromaru."
Noticing the mildly confused look on Sasuke's face, Sakura quickly added, "Mrs. Inuzuka here is Kiba's mother."
"Oh, so she's Kiba's mom?" Sasuke replied to the pink-haired chunnin, "Well that makes sense. I can see the family resemblance." Turning back to face the adults, Sasuke said, "So, let's get back to the subject of someone stealing tech from the Nara clan. What all was stolen?"
"Mostly computers, really," Kuromaru began, "Although a number of other machines have been stolen as well, including incubators, an x-ray machine…basically any scientific-related machine you'd care to name. A few lab supplies have also been stolen, including some beakers, a few glass vials, some-"
"HOLY CRAP THAT DOG CAN TALK!" Sasuke exclaimed, a look of surprise on his face as he pointed at Kuromaru in an accusing manner.
"Yeah, that was my first reaction upon meeting Kuromaru for the first time," Inoichi admitted, "It was Harold's first reaction as well." With a casual shrug, the Yamanaka patriarch added, "Hell, I can count with the fingers on one hand the number of people who did not react to meeting Kuromaru for the first time in such a manner."
"We're getting off subject here," Kuromaru said, "Someone's stealing tech from the Nara clan, and the Nara are accusing the Inuzuka of it. This does not bode well for future interactions between the two clans. Hell, if the Nara's current attitude towards everyone continues, this won't bode well for Konoha as a whole!"
Turning to face Sasuke, Tsunade said, "That's where you come in, Sasuke. I need you to investigate the thefts that the Nara clan have been suffering. If anything strikes you as odd, give me a holler right away, alright?" After Sasuke nodded in the affirmative, acknowledging his latest assignment, Tsunade replied, "Good. Oh, can you take Sakura with you?"
"Huh?" Sakura said in a confused manner, "You want me to help Sasuke with the investigation, Lady Tsunade? What for?"
"The investigation should include checking out the various Nara clan-owned warehouses, which means going out and walking outside with the sun overhead," Tsunade began. Seeing the confused look on her apprentice's face, Tsunade sighed and said, "Sakura, I'm sorry. But with all due respect, you NEED to get out into the sun more. You're as pale as sin!"
"Yeah, I've been saying the same about Sakura for years, Lady T," Harold remarked to the Fifth Hokage, "Hell, Kizashi's got our back on this matter."
Sighing in a defeated tone, Sakura turned to face Sasuke. "Well, Sasuke," the pink-haired chunnin remarked in a resigned tone, "Let's get to work, huh?"
Together, Sasuke and Sakura proceeded to head over to the Nara clan-owned warehouse that was the latest location of the series of thefts against the Nara clan. On the way, Sakura made a quick series of calls on her cell phone. Slipping the cell phone into her pocket, Sakura turned to face Sasuke and said, "Alright, we got a four-man team for this mission."
"Really?" the last Uchiha replied, turning to face his pink-haired companion, "Who did you call up to join us?"
"Well first I called Ino, but she said that she was busy," Sakura replied, "Then I tried Tenten, but she said that she and Neji are both caught up in trying to help Gai-sensei get Rock Lee to calm down after he had unknowingly consumed some alcohol."
A wincing look on his face, Sasuke remarked, "Yeesh. Yeah, I remember hearing about the craziness that can happen if Rock Lee is exposed to alcohol."
"Then I tried Hinata," Sakura continued, "Because when Tenten brought up the fact that Neji was helping her and Gai-sensei, that gave me the idea that having someone with the Byakugan on our team could help us with the investigation."
"So, did she agree to help?" Sasuke asked.
Nodding in the affirmative, Sakura replied, "Not only did Hinata agree to meet us over at the Nara clan warehouse we're heading to, but she's bringing Naruto along as well."
"Really?" Sasuke said, "Naruto's going to be pitching in as well?"
"Yeah," Sakura replied in a tone that sounded mildly embarrassed, "When I called Hinata, she and Naruto were out on a date grabbing lunch." Looking a bit downcast, Sakura added, "I feel kind of guilty interrupting their date like this."
"Well you have no way of knowing what they were up to," Sasuke offered, "Hell, your uncle had no idea that I was asleep when he knocked on my door."
"My uncle has no idea about anything at all," Sakura replied in a mildly snarky tone, "Unless it involves beer."
"I can see why you'd make that comment," Sasuke said, "But more about ragging on idiotic relatives later. We got a series of thefts to investigate. Let's get over to the Nara clan-owned warehouse quickly." Nodding in agreement, Sakura continued to follow after Sasuke.
A few minutes later, Sasuke and Sakura had made it to the Nara clan-owned warehouse that was the sight of the latest theft against the Nara clan. Almost right away, Sakura spotted Hinata waiting outside of a waist-high gate that allowed people into the fenced-in land that the warehouse was located. Running over to her friend, Sakura called out, "Hey, Hinata! Over here!" Hearing Sakura calling out, Hinata looked around and found Sakura approaching within a few seconds.
Smiling upon seeing her friend, Hinata waived back. When Sakura had finally gotten close enough to the Hyuga chunnin, Hinata said, "It's great to see you too, Sakura."
Rubbing the back of her head in a manner that conveyed her embarrassment, Sakura said, "Yeah, sorry about interrupting the date you and Naruto were on."
Holing up a hand to cut off any argument that Sakura might have made, Hinata replied, "It's no trouble at all. In fact, around the time your call came in, I was about to ask Naruto if we could leave the sub place where we were having lunch."
A mildly curious look on her face, Sakura asked, "What? Why?"
"These two Inuzuka clan kunoichi came into the sub place where Naruto and I were eating to get lunch," Hinata began to explain in a mildly uncomfortable tone, "And I noticed that at least one of them was giving me an angry look."
"Wait, did you say Inuzuka clan?" Sasuke said as he came up; having seen Sakura run off, the last Uchiha gave chase, and came up to the two kunoichi chunnin right when Hinata brought up who was giving her the evil eye.
Seeing Sasuke, Hinata waited a second before finally deciding to let him in on what had happened. Nodding in the affirmative, Hinata continued, "I think it all has to do with the huge debt that the Inuzuka clan owes the Hyuga clan, along with other problems concerning Hyuga-Inuzuka relations at the moment."
"Lady Tsunade told me that she's working on making changes to the various assistance programs that were made by Lord Second to help the financially struggling so that ninja can apply for them as well," Sakura remarked, "But it's slow going at the moment. Especially since there a very vocal minority who's arguing for not extending the programs to help ninja."
"Well that's just stupid," a familiar voice remarked in an annoyed tone, making Sasuke and the girls turn to see Naruto come walking up. "If this whole mess about ninjas who are financially struggling not having access to the assistance programs is still a persistent problem when I become Hokage, then I'm going to give that vocal minority a big metaphorical middle finger and push the needed changes into law," remarked the blonde jonin.
"That might not be the best idea, Naruto," Sakura said, "The vocal minority in question consists exclusively of Konoha's wealthiest individuals. Due to the combined affluence that they hold, it's in the best interest of whoever is Hokage to keep them happy."
"Wait a minute," Sasuke interrupted, "Are you saying that the reason why most financially struggling ninja are in the position that they're in is because Konoha's one percent more or less wants them to stay that way?"
Looking mildly downcast, Sakura replied in a somber tone, "That's…pretty much a spot-on summarization of the situation, Sasuke."
Scoffing in an annoyed tone, Sasuke said, "The hell do they get off on?! What right do they have to screw folks over like that?!"
"As upsetting as such a revelation is, we should discuss this later," Hinata interrupted, "We've got a series of thefts to investigate here."
"Hinata's right," Naruto said to Sasuke and Sakura, "We'll go into detail about this later. For now, we have to help Shikamaru and his folks."
A few minutes later, Sasuke and company were in the living room of Shikamaru's place, asking Shikaku and Yoshino, along with Shikamaru, a few questions.
"For the last time, Mrs. Nara," Naruto said in a tone that clearly sounded like a mix of being strained and being annoyed, "Kiba did not steal anything from you or your clan."
"And what makes you so sure, young man?!" Yoshino snapped, "He's a filthy Inuzuka! They're all the frigg'en same, if you ask me! They kill our deer, they let their dogs relieve themselves wherever, and they have recently taken it upon themselves to harass the Hyuga!"
"Mom, Naruto's right," Shikamaru interrupted, "Kiba would never steal from us!"
"Why are you defending that thief, Shikamaru?!" Yoshino snapped at her son.
"Because Kiba and I have been friends since early childhood," Shikamaru replied, "And Kiba is never one to betray his friends in any manner."
"Shikamaru raises an excellent point, dear," Shikaku pointed out to his wife, "Judging our son's friend by what clan he belongs to, rather than by his own individual traits and faults, is not doing the boy justice. Besides, Kiba always cleans up after his dog."
"I'll still chase off any Inuzuka who gets within eyesight of the Nara clan," Yoshino grumbled as she walked off into the kitchen.
After Yoshino was gone, Shikamaru and his dad turned to face Sasuke and company. "Sorry you kids had to see that," Shikaku apologized, "But you can't quite blame my wife for jumping to such wild conclusions. Most Nara clan women have been acting in such a manner."
"The Nara clan men, on the other hand," Shikamaru added, "Are nowhere near as hostile or accusing towards the Inuzuka. Besides which, the Inuzuka clan has no possible use for the tech that was stolen from our clan."
"Speaking of," Sasuke began, "We were wondering if you could give us any information regarding the thefts. Did you guys find any clues? A hint that might lead us in the right direction?"
"Hmm," Shikaku said as he held a hand to his chin, giving him the look of someone deep in thought. After a few seconds, Shikaku said, "Aha! Yeah, follow me, kids."
After a minute or so, Shikaku and Shikamaru brought Sasuke and company over to one of the warehouses that the Nara clan owns. Leading them over to a table in one of the lab rooms, Shikaku gestured to a small display case and said, "This was found at the sight of the latest theft." Seeing what Shikamaru's dad was pointing out, Sasuke could not help but gasp in shock.
Inside the display case was a molted snake skin.
"The theft happened at this very warehouse, as a matter of fact," Shikaku went on, "Some microscopes were stolen."
"Do you have any idea what direction the thief might have taken off in?" Sasuke asked, turning quickly on his heels to face Shikaku.
"Hmm?" Shikaku remarked in a questioning tone as he regarded the last Uchiha, "What makes you think that there's only one thief?"
"Please, just answer my question," Sasuke replied.
Seeing the look of mild worry on Sasuke's face, Shikamaru said, "Do…do you have an idea who the thief might be, Sasuke?"
"Naruto, the girls and I will go on ahead to follow whatever path the thief took," Sasuke explained, the mild hint of worry never leaving his voice, "But as soon as we go on ahead, I need you to go to Lady Tsunade and get her to send as many available shinobi as possible to come after us to help. It'd be ideal if as many of those shinobi as possible were highly skilled jonin."
It was then that Sakura picked up on Sasuke's tone. "Are…are you okay, Sasuke?" asked the pink-haired chunnin.
"We're going now," Sasuke ordered more than said, "We just need to know which way the thief left."
"I'll take you the path where I think the thief most likely took off down after he stole the microscopes," Shikaku replied as he gestured for Sasuke and company to follow him.
As Sasuke and company hopped from tree to tree down the path that Shikaku said the (supposedly) lone thief took, Naruto and the girls regarded Sasuke with some concern. "Hey Sasuke," Sakura called out in a concerned tone, "What has you so spooked?"
After the last Uchiha failed to reply to Sakura's question for about half a minute, Naruto decided to try giving it a go. "Shikamaru made a comment about you potentially knowing who the thief is," Naruto remarked, "Is that true?"
"…Yes," Sasuke replied at last as he stopped; Naruto and the girls all stopped as well.
"Then who, pray tell, do you think the thief is?" asked the blonde jonin.
"…If I tell you guys, you'll either dismiss what I say as a lie, or you'll believe me and freak out as a result," Sasuke said, his tone showing how unsure he was.
"Pfft," Sakura snorted in a dismissive tone, "You underestimate us, Sasuke. Who can cause you to worry so much, especially after all that you've accomplished since your return to Konoha?"
After a beat that lasted a few seconds and yet it felt much longer than that, the last Uchiha finally said, "Orochimaru."
The reactions he got from his teammates were varied; Sakura had a giggle fit which clearly conveyed the notion that she thought Sasuke was merely joking, Hinata crouched down into a fetal position with her hands on the sides of her head as she started screaming in a freaked-out tone, and Naruto regarded his friend with a casual look as he said, "Yeah, that sounds about right, given that bastard's history."
"Now do you all see why I was freaking out earlier?" Sasuke asked his friends, and added when he gestured to Hinata, "And why she's currently freaking out right now?"
As Naruto went over to his panicking fiancé to comfort her, Sakura turned to regard Sasuke, her giggling fit more or less finished. "Now I see why you asked Shikamaru to have Lady Tsunade send as many available jonin as possible to come back us up," Sakura remarked, "If we really are dealing with Orochimaru he-"
Sakura was interrupted when Hinata, hearing Orochimaru's name spoken again, screamed loudly in fear once again.
"…If we really are dealing with that man like you think we are," Sakura said to Sasuke as she tried to continue, "Then all of this worry and caution you've been showing is very much warranted."
"I have a question, Sasuke," Naruto said as he came over to where Sasuke and Sakura were at, "If you're so worried that you asked for heavy reinforcements, then why are we going on ahead instead of waiting for said reinforcements to catch up to us?"
"I…I don't know, alright?!" Sasuke exclaimed, throwing his hands into the air in frustration. Turning around, Sasuke said, "This whole mess of Or-" Sasuke was cut off when Naruto quickly put a hand over his mouth; as the last Uchiha regarded Naruto with confusion, the blonde jonin pointed to Hinata, who was still crouched down in a fetal position with her hands on the sides of her head with a very freaked-out look on her face (luckily the screaming died down a great deal).
"…This whole mess of that man showing his ugly face once again after all of this time has me freaking out!" Sasuke continued, "I mean, what if he tries tempting me to join him again? What if he undoes all that I've done since I returned to Konoha?! I'm done with that monster, and yet I'm doubting that he thinks he's done with me!"
In response, Naruto laid a hand on Sasuke's shoulder. Looking his friend in the eye, Naruto said, "We won't let him do anything, Sasuke."
"Naruto's right, Sasuke," Sakura added, "You're better than Or- err…that man. You've beaten him once before, right?"
"Yeah," Sasuke replied, "When he was bedridden and close to dying. And even then, he put up one hell of a fight. And yet he somehow managed to return to top condition after that!"
"You've gotten loads stronger since that fight from over two years ago," Naruto said to the last Uchiha, "Besides, you aren't alone on this."
Regarding Naruto with some confusion, Sasuke said, "What are you talking about? You do know what that man is capable of, right?"
"Do you know what we're capable of?" Sakura remarked, drawing Sasuke's attention over to her.
With the last Uchiha's attention on her, Sakura continued, "Not only have I been studying under Lady Tsunade since I was twelve, but I've trained under her as well." Pounding a fist into her hand, Sakura said, "You'd be surprised how strong I am, Sasuke."
"And if you thought what I did to all of those Oto ninja was crazy," Naruto added as he pounded a fist into his hand himself, "You should see what I can do when I let loose."
Looking over Naruto's shoulder to see the cowering Hyuga, Sasuke shouted, "What about you?"
"I…I'm okay," Hinata replied as she waived back as she slowly got up from her fetal position, "I just…I just needed a minute."
Regarding all of his friends, Sasuke said, "Well…alright. Let's go see what we can do."
"I'm still all for waiting for that backup, in case anyone was wondering," Hinata remarked as the team continued to make their way to where Orochimaru was supposedly at.
Eventually, Sasuke and the others made their way to a two-story house in the middle of the woods. Kicking the door open, Sasuke led his friends inside. "Hinata," Naruto began, "Can you take a look around with your Byakugan?"
Nodding in understanding, Hinata activated her ocular powers and began to scan the entirety of the building. "…There's no one on this floor or the floor above us," Hinata replied, "But there's a person in the floor below us, in a room with loads of various scientific equipment."
"Alright, let's find our way down," Sasuke said as he and the others then proceeded to look for the stairs down into the basement. It was Hinata, with her Byakugan helping out loads, who found the way down to the basement.
With Sasuke leading the charge, the team all rushed down the stairs. In the basement, they all continued to run until Hinata stopped in front of a door. "In here," Hinata said, and without any warning, Sasuke blasted the door off its hinges with a Chidori, utterly smashing it into pieces. When they all ran inside, the man that was in the room turned around from facing all of his technology to regard them; judging by how quickly he spun on his heels, the man was caught by surprise.
However, upon seeing his unexpected guests, the man instantly calmed down, then spoke as if her were regarding an old friend. "Ah," the man said, "Well if it isn't you, my dear Sasuke."
"Cut the crap, Orochimaru!" Sasuke snapped angrily at the rouge sannin, "What the hell are you up to?!"
"Ah, I see that time has not improved your manners, Sasuke," Orochimaru remarked, his calm tone unwavering, "Quite a shame, really."
"And I see that time hasn't made you any less of a creep," Sakura spat, eyeing Orochimaru with a surprisingly high amount of hate (well, it's a surprisingly high amount coming from Sakura).
"…Your friends could do with a lesson in manners as well, Sasuke," Orochimaru said, paying the pink-haired chunnin no mind, "And here I thought that Tsunade would bother teaching her little pet some man- Oh, that reminds me."
Now Orochimaru was finally bothering to give some thought to Sakura. Turning to regard her, Orochimaru said, "You are Tsunade's little pet, are you not?" With a smirk that was equal parts mischievous and malicious, the rouge sannin said, "I wonder how Tsunade would feel if I sent her a little… 'present'…"
Without warning, Orochimaru sent a number of snakes, all of them baring their fangs, flying from his sleeves at Sasuke and company; although all four of them would get hit, it was clear that Sakura would be taking the most hits by far.
…However, a large shroud of yellow-orange chakra, in the shape of a fox's head, appeared out of nowhere, acting as a sort of dome-shield that covered Sasuke and company. Two of the snakes bounced off of the chakra shroud before burning up; all of the others burned up instantly on impact.
"Yeah, I don't think so," Naruto said; although Sasuke could very easily tell that it was Naruto who was speaking, it didn't quite sound like him. It was then that Sasuke noticed that Naruto's pupils had become vertical slits. Naruto was also completely covered in the yellow chakra, making him look like a giant yellow human-shaped nightlight.
"Umm…" Sasuke said as he regarded the blonde jonin, "…What is-"
Scoffing in an annoyed tone, Orochimaru said, "I forgot that your little blonde friend here is a Jinchuriki, Sasuke. This will be more troublesome then I-"
A loud computerized beeping noise coming from behind made the rouge sannin turn to regard his computers. There were lights flashing, noises going off, and every computer screen displayed the word 'ERROR' in big bold capital letters.
"No!" Orochimaru exclaimed in worry, "My secret project!" Paying no mind to Sasuke and company, Orochimaru rushed over to his stolen tech to try and get everything back to normal. "My computers…" Orochimaru said loudly in shock, "My technology! All of it has been hacked!"
"A hacker got into Orochimaru's computers?" Sakura remarked in surprise as the chakra shroud that Naruto conjured faded, along with the chakra covering Naruto going back inside his body.
"…Yeah," Sasuke remarked, his tone sounding just as surprised (and confused) as Sakura's tone, "Who could have-"
"Ah, Sakura!" a familiar voice called out while interrupting Sasuke, "Glad that we found either you or Ino!"
Turning around, Sasuke and company saw Harold Fisher and Inoichi Yamanaka walk into the room that everyone was in (it was Harold who had called out). Both men were fiddling with smart phones, completely ignorant of the fact that Orochimaru was about a dozen or so feet away from them.
"Uncle Harold?!" Sakura exclaimed, "What are you and Mr. Yamanaka doing here?!"
"Your uncle and I both got ourselves some new phones," Inoichi explained casually, both men still not looking up from their smart phones, "But neither of us can figure out how to get the blasted things to work."
"We were hoping to find either you or Ino so you could help us figure these things out," Harold replied.
As the two adult jonin continued to fiddle with their smart phones, Orochimaru's computers and various stolen tech were continuing to go crazy.
Noticing that Orochimaru's stolen tech going crazy started around the same time the two adult jonin came in while fiddling around on their smart phones, Sasuke shouted at the two adult jonin, "Try tapping random apps!"
"The frig are apps?" Inoichi replied in a tone of total confusion as his right index finger hovered over the screen of his smart phone for a few seconds before coming down randomly; at the same time this happened, one of the computer monitors that Orochimaru stole blew out; the screen exploded and smoke came billowing out of the hole on the now defunct monitor's screen.
"NOOOOOOOOOO!" Orochimaru screamed as his computer monitors blew out in a similar fashion one by one, "My plan! It's ruined! RUINED!" Suddenly, with all of the computer monitors blowing out all at the same time, the combined blasts shook the wall of monitors so much that there was an avalanche of computer monitors. Seeing everything about to fall on him, Orochimaru cried out, "AHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"
Sasuke and company shielded themselves from the dust that was kicked up by the avalanche of computers; then the dust settled, they saw Orochimaru buried under a large pile of computer monitors, with only his head and the top half of his right arm sticking out; the rouge sannin was quite pinned. Sobbing in defeat, Orochimaru cried, "Can this get any worse for me?"
At that moment, Rock Lee came running into the room. "I came as soon as Lady Tsunade said you needed back up, Sasuke-kun!" Rock Lee stated upon arrival.
Hearing Rock Lee's voice, Orochimaru said in a shocked, worried and annoyed tone, "No…"
"I unknowingly drank something that had a mild amount of alcohol in it," Rock Lee said, "But luckily for me, Gai-sensei and my teammates were able to get me sober within short order."
"No, no, no," Orochimaru said as he slowly went into a crying fit.
Later, as a number of Konoha shinobi, most of which were of the jonin rank, arrived on the scene to apprehend Orochimaru (who surprisingly offered no resistance at all), the rest of Sasuke's friends all came over to where Sasuke was at with Naruto, Sakura, Hinata, Inoichi and Harold. The two adult jonin were still fiddling around with their respective smart phones.
"Dad?!" Ino exclaimed as she saw her father standing next to Sasuke and the others, "What are you doing here?!"
Looking up from his smart phone, Inoichi said, "Oh, Ino! Yeah, my friend Harold and I were hoping to find you and/or your friend Sakura to help us."
"Help you with what?" Ino asked, her tone clearly showing how embarrassed she was that her father had shown up randomly.
"Your father and my uncle both wandered into Orochimaru's lair as Sasuke, Naruto, Hinata and I were confronting Orochimaru," Sakura explained, "As they fiddled around with their smart phones. They were hoping that one of us could help them figure out how to get the phones to work for them."
"As it turns out, it was Orochimaru who was stealing various tech from the Nara clan," Sasuke explained, "We have no idea what that slippery bastard had planned, but no way in hell will whatever plan he had go through now."
"What do you mean?" Neji asked as he and Tenten stepped forward, "Also, where's Rock Lee?"
"He's over there, helping some other Konoha jonin organize the stuff recovered from Orochimaru's lair," Naruto explained, pointing out where Rock Lee was helping to carry the recovered tech to various examination tables.
"To answer your first question, Neji," Sasuke continued, "From what we can tell, the computers that Orochimaru stole were all hacked by Mr. Fisher and Mr. Yamanaka, who did so by fiddling around on their smart phones."
"They…" Ino said, clearly stunned, "…They managed to hack computers by fiddling around on their smart phones?"
"And all Harold and I were trying to do was get the damn phones to make calls," Inoichi remarked, "Also, what's this again about Harold and I wandering into a lair occupied by Orochimaru?"
Sighing in a defeated tone, Ino said, "Who were you trying to call, dad?"
"Your mother," Inoichi replied, "I wanted to ask her if there were any groceries that I should pick up on my way home."
"I was trying to call my wife so that I could ask her if I had to pick anything up on the way home as well," Harold added.
Not even wanting to bother, Sakura and Ino simply asked their respective adult relatives for their smart phones, punched in the appropriate numbers, let the calls go through, then handed the phones back to their respective owners.
"Hello, Michelle?" Inoichi said into the phone, "…Oh thank goodness this new phone of mine actually works! Yeah, Ino's here and I had her put the number in for me so I could call you. Anywho, are there any groceries I should pick up on my way home?"
As Inoichi and Harold handled their respective calls, Sasuke and his friends all looked at each other. "…Ino's dad and Sakura's uncle managed to hack the computers that Orochimaru stole," Shikamaru began in a monotone of disbelief, "By fiddling around on smart phones. And they were only trying to call their respective wives to ask about any groceries they should get on the way home."
Both Sakura and Ino face-palmed in embarrassment, with Ino saying, "Everyone, I'd like to introduce my father."
END, GUESS WHO'S BACK CHAPTER NINE
Author's Notes:
(1) Come on. He was going to show up here eventually.
(2) This would not take long for most folks.
So, that takes care of chapter nine. I'm still debating what to do with chapter ten, as I have a number of ideas for what I want to put into words. But once I figure out what direction I want to take, I'll get right on it.
