Part Four
"So," Bobby says as he lights up his second cigarette in the last fifteen minutes.
"You nervous about something? Cause," T pats his back, "You don't strike me as the nervous type."
"Nervous?" Bobby flicks the tip of the cigarette with his thumb. "Nah, just curious as to why," he takes a long drag of the cigarette, expelling the smoke as he talks. "Did you do it just to see if you could get away with it?"
"Something like that."
Bobby tosses the cigarette onto the street, "You know I can understand that."
"You can?" T stuffs his hands deep into the pockets of his jeans, "You know I believe you."
"My Uncle has some ah," he wants to say reservations but decides that it is not the right word to use, "Worries, problems with us hanging out."
"In this neighborhood it's not a secret who my family is, hell I know what my ole man does for a living."
"What is that?"
T shakes his head, "Better not say, but one time," T moves his head from left to right looking for anyone within hearing distance, he whispers, "I saw him beat the shit out of some guy because he owned him money or something."
Bobby frowns at first than as if a bolt of lightening hits his brain cells, "You mean the m…." T grabs Bobby on the arm.
"Don't say it man, alright." Bobby nods his head as T continues to hold his arm.
The smile that flashes on Bobby's face is one of pride, imagine, he thinks, me hanging out with the coolest kids in the neighborhood. Things like that never were important to him, why is this? He thinks.
Lunchtime the Next Day
Bobby meets up with the two Tony's, Gillian, and Sue. Bobby, Sue and Gillian, with their lunch trays in their hands follow T through the cafeteria. T stops at 'their' table and sets his tray on top of it. He clears his throat at first, then speaking softly and clearly, he says, "Wrong table. Get up."
Bobby watches intently as three boys' nod their heads then quickly grab on to their lunch trays and stand, the fourth one remains. T repeats to the lone remaining young man, "Wrong table man, get up or this tray will find it's way up your ass."
"Look man we…." He suddenly realizes that his friends have abandoned him, however he finishes his thought, "We were here first."
"Greg," one of his friends call to him, "Come on man we can sit somewhere else."
"T…." the letter is heard quite clearly, through the chatter, "What's the big deal man."
T's intimidating stare does nothing to dissuade Bobby. Bobby sets down his tray and leans down to catch Greg's eye, the intense stare causes Greg to sit back in the chair. "Come on man, you've made your point now your friends are waiting for you, why don't you join them at another table."
"Ok," Greg nods his head, "Sure."
The look on T's face is of anger and he is pissed off that Bobby would counter act his so-called authority. However, as they take their seats and the chatter begins his anger fades quickly, Bobby in his own way completed the task.
Later that Afternoon
Bobby and T find themselves alone at the park sitting on the bleachers, "You really were going to shove that tray up his ass, weren't you?" Bobby asks.
"I was thinking about it. Yes sometimes I get so angry, that I..." T realizes for the first time in his life that he has found someone that he can talk to, really talk to. He continues, "I get scared sometimes."
"I know that feeling, I've smashed a few things against the wall. Were you pissed that he didn't listen to you or because you thought it would be the right thing to do?"
T's answer is a frown. "What the hell are you talking about?"
"There are more ways then physical violence to get people to listen to you." Bobby moves down on the bleacher seat and positions himself next to T. "You told me that you saw your ole man beat the shit out of someone to get what he wanted." T nods his head remaining quiet. "Didn't that bother you?"
"Nah," T says then begins to nods his head, "Yeah it did, it scared the shit out of me." T stretches his legs out, "I thought that if I ever fucked up really bad or did something that he wasn't proud of….ah shit no matter what I do he's never been proud of me." T pulls his legs in, "I played football last year, defensive end, only one kid in the league had more sacks then me," T smirks as he expels a laugh, "You know what my ole man said to me?"
"You don't have to say it," Bobby says as he removes a cigarette from the pack, "Shit man, I thought I was the only one with an asshole for a father, my ole man talks like that."
T reaches into his pocket and removes a pack of cigarettes, "Maybe we should get them together and they could go bowling or something."
Both boys laugh on the outside but the hurt on the inside consumes them and always will.
"My mother is a piece of work," T continues, speaking plainly so as not to show any hurt. "She's never happy, everything is always wrong, with me my father my sisters. My older sister Janice was the only one that would tell her off."
"Was?"
"She took off," he shakes his head, "Lucky." Bobby starts to laugh; T taps his shoulder, "What the hell?"
"My mom, remember I told you she was sick?" T nods, "Well she's," he leans in as close as he can, "She's a schizo."
"You mean she has a lot of personalities?"
"No," Bobby drops the cigarette on to the bench before him, then extinguishes it with his boot, "She imagines things, things that aren't there, like ah….people are out to get her, paranoid."
"You mean like the Black Sabbath song?"
"Yeah sort of," Bobby stretches his legs out. "You know what?" T's only response is a grunt, "I could go for a tall cool one right about now. How about you?"
"Don't have to twist my arm," T answers as he stands.
The lyrics from the song 'Paranoid' filter through his mind as he and T walk the three blocks toward the deli.
Finished with my woman 'cause she couldn't help me with my mind
People think I'm insane because I am frowning all the time
All day long I think of things but nothing seems to satisfy
Think I'll lose my mind if I don't find something to pacify
Can you help me occupy my brain?
I need someone to show me the things in life that I can't find
I can't see the things that make true happiness, I must be blind
Make a joke and I will sigh and you will laugh and I will cry
Happiness I cannot feel and love to me is so unreal
And so as you hear these words telling you now of my state
I tell you to enjoy life I wish I could but it's too late
The words are more in tune to his life then his mother and her delusions.
A/N: I haven't been very inspired lately to not only reading FF on this site but writing for it as well. However the past week I've been watching many hours of the older episodes. And they have shown me why and how much I love the character Bobby Goren and all the other characters as well. LOCI was the first show that inspired me to start writing fan fiction, for which I must say thank you.
