Hello everyone! Did everyone just adore that Klaine-packed episode? Anyway - here you all go, I apologize in advance for the cliffhanger. :/


Chapter 9

Kurt rested his head against the hard, cold bar in front of him. He wanted to simply melt into the wood and never escape. "Fuck," he muttered occasionally. He'd been nursing the same scotch for the past hour, not quite sure how he was going to pay for it when he actually chose to leave the bar.

What he actually wanted was to bang his head repeatedly off of the bar until he could forget about Blaine, the words Blaine said, and the way Blaine made him feel.

In essence, he wanted to forget about Blaine.

But he didn't, in reality. He wanted to forget the one word that changed everything. The one word neither of them had said aloud. The one word that Kurt didn't even know if Blaine wanted to say.

Boyfriend.

Kurt had actually allowed himself to believe, even if it was only in his head, even if it was when his own guard was down, that Blaine was his boyfriend.

"Shit, shit, shit," Kurt repeated like a mantra. He knew he was garnering looks but could not care less as he tipped his head back and finished his drink with a gulp.

Because, in reality, Kurt wanted him to be. He wanted Blaine in so many ways. He wanted to know every nook and cranny of the boy's haunted mind. He wanted to know Blaine's laughter, his tears, his hopes, dreams, ambitions, everything. Kurt wanted everything to do with Blaine, and that scared the hell out of him.

He was attracted to Blaine in every sense of the word: physically, emotionally, and spiritually. Even though they'd only been physical, and Kurt knew that sexually Blaine was the most amazing man he'd ever been with, he knew the feelings ran deeper.

The part of Kurt that had been shut down for two years, the part of him that he kept hidden from the world, opened up when Blaine was around.

But Blaine was so beautifully broken. Blaine's insecurities and failures left him driven for more instead of causing him to run away to a bar like Kurt did. He pushed forward and worked to prove to everyone that he was more than a name, a label, or a sexuality. He was everything Kurt wanted to be – and he was so young.

Blaine left people behind who didn't love him, people who he needed to get away from.

Blaine may have run, but he did so because he needed to. He ran so he could live his life that way he wanted to, without any questions.

Kurt just ran away from everything because he was too afraid to face it.

Blaine may have thought that he ran away, but Kurt was the king of running when things were too much for him to handle.

He was about to leave the bar and go find Blaine, prove that yes, he did run away again, but he was going to run back and make things better for everyone, but then he felt a hand on his back, sliding up and down.

Kurt turned with a huge smile because surely it must mean something if Blaine searched all of Las Vegas to find him in an ordinary bar.

Although the man his eyes met did not belong to Blaine.

"Sebastian," Kurt said coolly, "Why are you here?"

Sebastian said nothing but pointed to Kurt's empty glass and motioned for the bartender to bring two more down for the man. He settled onto the stool next to Kurt, his posture easygoing and laidback.

Kurt's back was set ramrod straight and alert. He didn't trust Sebastian.

"Nice suit," Kurt offered, examining the darkest black jacket and well tailored pants.

"Tom Ford," Sebastian said with a glint in his eyes.

Kurt smiled, he knew the surefire way to get Sebastian talking was to send a compliment his way. "How did you know I was here?" Kurt asked again, ignoring the glass in front of him.

Sebastian grinned, "How do you think I know? I heard you were moving in with the Hobbit and when I went to drop off a little housewarming present for both of you," he paused and moved his head a little, "one to Blaine from my father and sister and then one to you from me, of course, I ran into the most extraordinary woman. She said that Blaine was upstairs crying like he lost the ring."

Kurt's head snapped up, "Blaine was crying?"

The laugh that came from Sebastian was crass and made Kurt wince. "Yes, what did you do to him? Turn him down? I know not everyone can be as good as I am in bed, but can't you at least give the poor kid a pity fuck? His parents hate him because he's gay, though I'd venture to guess they hated him before that based on his hair."

Kurt wanted to tell Sebastian how repulsive he was. He wanted to tell him that his skills in bed were equal to that of a rock. But mostly, he wanted to bash the man's head in for his comments against Blaine. In the end, he decided saying nothing was his best bet.

"Why are you living with him anyway?" Sebastian continued, "I told you that you could live in the penthouse with me. For free."

"Because he treats me like a human being and not some charity case," Kurt said coolly again as he clutched to his rapidly emptying glass.

Sebastian downed his own scotch and ordered an additional two glasses even though Kurt protested. "It wouldn't be charity if you lived with your boyfriend."

"I am not your boyfriend," Kurt scoffed.

"Not yet."

"Not ever!" Kurt was down three scotches at this point and felt his fight drive kick in, "Sebastian, you were never going to be my boyfriend."

Sebastian ordered more, simply biding his time.

Sebastian knew more about Kurt than he let on. The man was not as simple as many people thought. He was the son of one of the shrewdest businessmen in all of Las Vegas and he'd picked up many hints over the years. He knew exactly what he was doing to the pale man who was sitting next to him getting drunker by the second. He knew Kurt's resolve would eventually fade and he would need someone to pick up the pieces. That was where Sebastian made himself available for comfort and more. It was a brilliant plan in Sebastian's head, and Kurt was playing perfectly well into the game.

Sebastian knew how the game worked, he'd been playing it for years. Kurt would finally get a plan to leave Las Vegas behind and Sebastian would get him drink enough that the doubts started creeping in and taking their hold on him, leaving him basically lost until the resolve would build up again.

Lather, rinse, repeat; it was so simple that Sebastian could do it in his sleep.

Blaine would eventually leave, Sebastian knew that. He would find out the true history of Kurt and runaway with his tail between his legs. Sure, Blaine was gorgeous and probably great in bed, but he wasn't the one Sebastian wanted.

When Blaine left, Kurt would be all his. That was why he convinced his father to rehire the man, to give him a second chance; so he could earn money and get the hell out of Las Vegas.

Sebastian ordered another scotch for the man.

"I don't need any more of those," Kurt pointed to the empty cups, "it isn't even six yet! I can't drink another one."

Sebastian shrugged and sipped his own drink, "I still have that housewarming gift for you. In case you want it before you pass out on that bar stool."

Kurt raised an eyebrow and limply held out his hand.

Sebastian placed the big box right into Kurt's hand. The box weighed practically nothing, but it still made Kurt swerve a little bit. He made a face at the box, "It is light…"

"Open it," Sebastian ordered.

Kurt pulled the paper off of the box and made a face, "A Tiffany Lamp? Thank you?" his face tried to hide the confusion and the disgust he felt looking at the box, but his drunken state allowed Sebastian to read him like a book.

"I know it isn't your style…." Sebastian prodded with a knowing glance toward Kurt. The man was going to follow through with his part of the script perfectly.

"It really isn't," Kurt admitted with a frown, "but thank you anyway. I never realized they were so light," he slurred.

"I mean, I figured you'd pawn it anyway," Sebastian said with an airy voice, "so I saved you the time," the man reached into his pocket and pulled out a huge billfold of money. "I pawned it myself."

"You are a crazy motherfucker," Kurt whispered, "why didn't you just give me the money for the Tiffany Lamp if it meant that much to you?"

Sebastian acted like it was the greatest suggestion he'd ever heard, "You know, I didn't think of that!"

Kurt rolled his eyes and almost tipped off of the stool, "Thank you for thinking of me though…it means a lot…"

Sebastian almost declared victory in that very moment. Kurt was looking at him like he was a king, and Sebastian knew the game was in the very last few minutes of the fourth quarter.

He would not tell Kurt that the reason he pawned it was because he didn't want to take any chances that the pawn shop would be closed before he could give it to him, and then Kurt would have to take the lamp home and let Blaine see it.

Kurt snapped his head toward Sebastian, "How did you know I pawned everything you gave me?"

Sebastian gave him a pained look, "Well you never wore any of it, and I'm not a complete idiot."

Kurt colored, which was difficult given his already flushed state, "You aren't mad?"

Sebastian shrugged, "It's your life…and they are just things. I can always get more."

Kurt nodded, clearly not even listening to what Sebastian was saying.

"So about the sex…" Sebastian tried, figuring he had Kurt eating out of the palm of his hand already.

"No," Kurt stood on wobbly legs and had to use the bar for support, "I have to go find Blaine. I have to tell him that I want to be his boyfriend. No more bad sex, Sebastian. I will have good sex. With Blaine."

Sebastian nearly fell off of his stool, "Fine," he collected his wallet and slammed money onto the bar, "You weren't great in bed anyway. I can get that from anyone."

Kurt knew Sebastian was bluffing but he shrugged and exited the bar quickly, hoping the man would not follow him.

Kurt knew that now he had money and could have hailed a cab. He knew it was probably the safer approach, but the mile and a half walk back to the apartment would do something that a cab ride never could – sober him up. He wanted Blaine to know that he was serious and that is wasn't just lust or alcohol talking. Blaine had to know what was going on, he had to know everything. Blaine had to know so he could get over Kurt. Or love Kurt. Or just trust that Kurt left for a reason, maybe not a good one, but a reason.

Blaine had to know everything so he could make a choice.

The walk successfully started sobering Kurt up and by the time he reached the apartment his feet hurt in his worn down shoes and his liquid courage was nowhere to be found. He was nervous as hell and had no idea what to expect when he got into their home.

He climbed the steps quietly and slipped into the apartment. The first thing Kurt noticed was that many of the boxes were gone. He panicked at first because he thought Blaine had moved out. But there was a glow coming from the living room so he followed the light and saw that instead of a bare living room, it now looked almost like a home.

The white Christmas lights gave everything a glow, and even though Kurt thought he would hate it, constantly being surrounded by lights, he loved it.

"They were cheaper than regular lamps," Blaine said a croaky voice as he emerged from the bathroom. He sniffed a little, "You're drunk."

"I was drunk," Kurt corrects and then changes the topic immediately, "I like it." Much like the Tiffany Lamp, it really wasn't his style, but he loved the effort Blaine put into it.

"Where were you?" Blaine asked gently, leaning against the doorframe. Kurt could see his face was rubbed ray and his eyes were rimmed in red. Kurt hated that he caused Blaine to cry. He just wanted to cradle Blaine in his arms and protect him from everything, even if that included himself.

"I needed to clear my head," Kurt pulled the thick fold of money out from his pocket.

Blaine looked at the money with wide eyes and took a few shaky steps back toward the bedroom, "Oh. Well…I see…"

Kurt looked down at the billfold and realized what Blaine thought. "Oh god, Blaine no, this isn't…I didn't…"

But Blaine snapped. He was tired of always playing the good guy. He was sick of being walked on by everyone. "I see. Wait, I'll go get my money so I can pay you as well. Although I don't know if I can afford your rates." The look of disgust on Blaine's face, direct right at Kurt, made him want to crawl into a ball.

Instead, it sent Kurt's walls plummeting to the ground. Blaine was the only person Kurt thought he truly had. Kurt didn't want to be jaded or hurt anymore. He wanted to be himself. "Blaine," he whispered, tears falling quickly and silently, "I thought you said it didn't matter to you…"

"It didn't! I understand you needed to survive and that was away to do it," Blaine roared across the room, making Kurt shiver back in fear, "but after you knew I had feelings for you, that I cared about you, you still slept with him again? I told you I could loan you money!"

"I didn't!" Kurt tried to find a way to explain to Blaine why he had the money, "Seb…Sebastian gave me a lamp as a present and the money…"

Blaine's face immediately softened, "a lamp…he gave you a lamp…"

Kurt nodded, a smile on his face. He wanted Blaine to believe him even though it sounded crazy. He hopes Blaine's smile in return meant something.

"I suppose you wouldn't make that up," Blaine reasoned. He wasn't exactly sure if that was the actual reason or he was going to stop fighting because he really wanted to believe the best in Kurt.

"No," Kurt said with a laugh, "That is a level of creativity I have not yet hit." He dabbed at his eyes with the side of his hand, he wasn't quite sure if he was home free yet.

Blaine broke first and laughed, "You look really pitiful."

"I feel pitiful," Kurt admitted. The world was losing the fuzzy edge it had and he already felt a headache coming on.

Blaine didn't want to feel sympathy. With the anger gone, he felt the sting of rejection, still strong, still painful. "Go take a shower. I'll get you some food together. You aren't going to live on cigarettes and booze anymore."

Kurt wanted to fall into Blaine's arms and forget about showering, but he knew a part of Blaine was still upset with him over everything. But Kurt wanted to look his best when he appealed to Blaine.

He needed some sort of advantage.

Kurt took nearly an hour in the shower, making sure his skin was completely soft. He even used lotion when he left the shower, now stalling. When he walked out of the bathroom, towel slung low on his hips, he moved from box to box looking for clothes. He skipped over his usual wardrobe of sweatpants and tank tops. Instead, he put on a pair of black yoga pants and a warm, light blue, off the shoulder sweater. He slipped into the clothes and immediately felt better.

He was home.

Kurt padded his way into the kitchen and saw Blaine stirring a pot on the stove. Blaine had changed into dark blue sweatpants and a tight, white beater. The sweatpants were low on his hips and Kurt wanted to trace out every muscle with his tongue.

No, he couldn't think like that, he had to think of emotions.

He had the sudden urge to wrap his arms around Blaine and help him make dinner, like a real family. "Hey," he said softly, sidling next to Blaine.

The younger man glanced at Kurt and some of the ice chipped away from around his heart. "You look nice," he muttered.

Kurt couldn't help himself, so he leaned in and pressed a kiss to Blaine's cheek, eliciting a small smile from him. "Thank you."

"This is almost done," Blaine said absently as he stirred the macaroni.

Kurt's stomach lurched, it had been awhile since he'd eaten real food.

"I'm not the best cook," Blaine worried as he cut hot dogs into the macaroni. "This is all I can do."

"It looks delicious," Kurt assured him, busying himself with some cups. He wondered when Blaine had time to grocery shop.

Kurt knew the meal was probably more calories, fat, and sodium than he usually ate in a week; it was glorious.

Blaine put scoops of the meal on their plates, Kurt noticed that he got twice what Blaine had on his own.

He carried their plates into the living room area and sat sideways on the loveseat, motioning for Kurt to do the same, "Eat first. You need it."

They ate in silence but neither could resist the glances they shot each other. Blaine's were haunting and mournful while Kurt's held hope.

Kurt just wanted to feel someone close to him, to know someone was finally in his corner.

To have someone he would be too afraid to run away from.

But he didn't want just someone, he wanted Blaine.

He couldn't eat even half of his serving and that broke Blaine's heart. He knew he couldn't allow these small things to lighten his mood about Kurt, but they always did.

Kurt had a way around his emotions that no one else did.

Blaine stood and took their plates, cleaning them off. He needed to buy himself more time so he made them two cups of hot chocolate with marshmallows.

He sat back on the couch and looked at Kurt who wrapped his hands firmly around the mug, seemingly trying to get something to anchor him.

"I need to know," Blaine said, suddenly pleading with Kurt, "I need to know you are the way you are," he sighed, "I wanted you to take your time, but I need to know. I need to know so I can try to find a way to get over you. Things like that…they take me awhile."

"I do care for you," Kurt said quietly, "you mean so much to me."

"But not enough," Blaine's voice was quiet and his eyes were downcast.

"More than anything," Kurt said simply.

"Then why can't we be together?"

"We can," it was Kurt's turn to plead with Blaine.

"But..you found out about Jeremiah and you left. I thought you realized what he realized, that I wasn't completely unlovable and you deserve better…"

"No!" Kurt leapt over to Blaine and wrapped his arms protectively around the man's neck, "Please don't ever think that. Ever, Blaine."

Blaine wasn't sure how to respond to the boy's affection. He hugged back gently, rubbing his hands over the foreign feeling of Kurt's sweater, "Kurt, you have to explain what happened," he whispered as gently as he could.

"You want to know why I walked out," Kurt said slowly, "I can't believe you think it was because of you…"

"Then why did you do it?" Blaine closed his eyes in a flutter, trying to collect himself.

"You called me sweetheart," Kurt began…


I'm updating this asap, don't worry. :)