Chapter Eight

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Severus had to admit, he was looking forward to the end of his first year at Hogwarts. Not because he hated Hogwarts, just because he was sick of learning the basics. At least when he reached second year, things would start to toughen up a bit…kind of. It would still be boring but not as much.

He didn't even have to lift a book for the major classes like Potions, Defense Against the Dark Arts, Transfiguration, Herbology and Charms. The two classes that he ended up worrying about most were Astronomy and History of Magic. He didn't want to admit it, but he just didn't remember that much on the subjects from his other years at Hogwarts. He honestly didn't care when the first goblin and giant war was. And he couldn't care less which planet was Neptune.

"Don't beat yourself up," Severus said. It was end of May and the weather was absolutely beautiful. The snow had melted and the birds were back chirping. It also meant that he and Lily were meeting outside again, which Lily enjoyed more than meeting in the Room of Requirement. They sat together underneath their tree by their rock with books, parchment, quills and ink spread over the grass, studying for final exams. And unlike Severus who wasn't too worried about finals, Lily was almost pulling her hair out. "It's just our first year. It's not like O.W.L.s or N.E.W.T.s that decide our future or anything." Lily gave him a glare full of stress.

"Yes, but—"

"But nothing," Severus said firmly, sitting up. "You're top of the class easily. You're on the first people to get charms and you're a complete natural at potions." Severus quoted Slughorn, hoping it would make her feel better. It did, but only a little.

"I'm sorry, Sev," Lily apologized. "I just want to do well. This is the first time…."

"It's everyone's first time," Severus said. Except for me. "And don't apologize. You're stunning. You'll wipe the floor with the exams without even trying."

"Let's go over Defense against the Dark Arts again," Lily said, picking up her textbook. "'How to Recognize a Vampire.'" Severus closed the book gently.

"That would be the fourth time we've gone over it. Let's take a break," he suggested. Obviously she needed it. He hadn't seen her smile in a long time. He picked up the nearest rock from where he was sitting. "Bet I can throw this farther than you." He stood up and flung it into the water, watching it plop into the water. He turned to Lily and saw a bright smile on her face

"That's the best you can do?" She picked up the nearest to her and chucked it into the water a little further than Severus's, her gold bracelet shining in the sunlight.

"I was just going easy on you, Severus replied smoothly. He grabbed a rock that looked like it was a good size and tried to throw it. Upon release, he realized the rock was no long in his hand. He looked around, confused. He turned back to Lily who was doubled over in the laughter, the rock in one hand and her wand in the other. She had levitated the rock right out of his hand without him even knowing.

"That's cheating!" he said indigently and Lily crumpled to the ground howling.

"You—didn't—even—know!" Lily gasped for breath. "Your—face!"

Severus tried to frown at her but found that he couldn't. Her laughter was too contagious. So they spent the rest of the day in the sun, under the tree, not studying for finals but laughing and skipping rocks.

XXXXXXXXXX

"I think I forgot the salamander blood in my potion," Evan mumbled. Severus tutted sympathetically.

"That's not too bad," Severus said, "It'll only make the potion weaker. It's not like it did any substantial damage like turn black and hard." Severus congratulated himself. He had definitely scored well above one hundred percent. He couldn't wait until he got his potions exam results back.

Evan laughed at the memory of an explosion, turning around and seeing Pettigrew's potion sizzling and turning hard as a rock in his cauldron. "Oh! Pettigrew totally failed! I'll bet Slughorn will make him take remedial potions or something!" Severus chuckled. Stupid Pettigrew. He hoped that Pettigrew would blow himself up for real next time.

"I can't believe he's even allowed into Hogwarts," Severus said, shaking his head. "He's an embarrassment."

"You really have a grudge against him, don't you?" Evan said, turning to him. "Why's that? It was only Potter and Black that ever gave you trouble and even that was a long time ago."

"Because," Severus replied as honestly as he could without giving himself away. "He's a coward."

"Alright," Evan agreed easily, not pushing him to say anything else on the matter. "Want to go to the kitchens and grab a snack? I'm starved and our next final is in an hour! I overheard Nott telling Crabbe and Goyle where it was." Severus allowed himself to bed led to the Hogwarts kitchen where they both got a few pumpkin pasties and ham and cheese sandwiches before their last final for first year, Defense Against the Dark Arts.

Severus was sure that he had passed that one too. It was just about noting the differences between basic Dark Creatures. Too easy. He had been around Dark Creatures a fair amount when working with Voldemort, especially dementors, giants and werewolves. He frowned. Had Wolfsbane been invented yet? He didn't think so as Lupin was still turning into a werewolf by at least his fifth year. He wondered briefly if he should claim credit for Wolfsbane, it hadn't been invented yet and he had memorized it. He decided against it. It would look too suspicious if suddenly he knew how to make Wolfsbane. Besides, in six more years, it would be invented anyways.

He met up with fellow Slytherins and headed down to the lake with them, exams were over and all five of them were in good spirits. He was careful that the group didn't sit near the big rock under the tree he shared with Lily. After all, that was Lily's, not Mulciber's.

XXXXXXXXXX

The end of year feast was spectacular as always. Slytherin had won the House Cup thanks to the Quidditch team and the Great Hall was draped in Slytherin green and silver banners with snakes on them. Severus, like the other Slytherins, cheered loudly as Dumbledore announced the House Points. Ravenclaw had come in last, then Gryffindor and then Hufflepuff and then, of course, Slytherin with three hundred ninety-seven points.

"You'll write, won't you?" Evan said, taking a bite of his lamb chops.

"Sure, now that I've got Lorant, I can write you every hour if you want," Severus said, his tone slightly sarcastic at the end.

"Whatever, Severus," he said, shaking his head. "You think you're all smart just because you're top of the class."

"I am smart, I don't just think it." Severus retorted, waving a chicken leg in Evan's direction, grinning. His exam results were the highest in his whole year with Potions at one hundred forty-six and Defense Against the Dark Arts as one hundred thirty-two. Everything had formed and like Dumbledore said, he had been able to create the future by changing the future. He didn't feel like such an outcast this time around. He hadn't been picked on by Potter and Black since October. Ever since he'd helped save Nott's life, Nott had nothing but good things to say about Severus. Ergo, all of Slytherin house was definitely warmer to him since Nott's word meant a lot. But best of all, he hadn't allowed one single thing to divide his friendship with Lily. Not one thing.

"Six more years to change that!" Mulciber reminded him. "We can definitely change that status!"

XXXXXXXXXX

Severus looked out the window. He shoulders slumped a little. They were getting close to King's Cross, they had just entered London. Severus sighed. He still didn't know what he would do with his father. He didn't want to kill the man but he definitely didn't want to go through the same thing he'd gone through the other years. Maybe he could give his father a sleeping potion that would keept him down for three months while he was at home. Or maybe he just needed to cast Silencing Spells around the house so his father wouldn't know he was there. Or he could—

"Severus!" Lily said loudly. "Are you even listening?"

"Of course I am, Lily," Severus said immediately snapping his head to attention. Lily raised an eyebrow and crossed her arms and Severus hastily added, "Except that last part."

"I was just commenting on how fast the year has gone by," Lily said. Severus could only agree. This year had gone by in a flash and it had amazing Severus that they were already done with their first year.

"Second years!" Lily exclaimed. "You'll come over, right? I think it'll be a pretty lousy summer without you. Petunia avoided me last time I was here for Christmas. She didn't even want to be around the house this year." Lily's tone had gone miserable and Severus said nothing. Petunia was always very nosy and very stupid. He liked her even less when he's seen what she'd done to her son in his other life when he'd gone to check up on Harry Potter for Dumbledore and he'd caught a glimpse of the fat whale getting waited on by his mother. No, he'd never liked Petunia Evans very much and honestly thought that Lily was better off without her. But he didn't say that either seeing as Lily still loved her sister very much.

The train came to halt and Severus glanced out the window for his mother. She had sent a note with Lorant that she'd be here waiting for him. He helped Lily grab her trunk from above and grabbed his own.

"Two and a half months without magic!" Lily said, looking sadly at her wand. "I don't know if I'll live!" Severus stifled a laugh.

"I think you'll survive," he said and Lily glared at him playfully. Together they exited the train, hugged and separated, Lily going with her parents and Severus going with his mother.

He looked around for her. He looked some more but he couldn't see her. He didn't think he forgot what she looked like…but it was possible. Maybe he was searching for the wrong woman…he pushed that thought away.

He continued to search for her when his eyes met another. Severus quickly broke the connection but not quick enough. The man walked over to him.

"Hello," the man said. His eyes were dark brown and full of intensity that Severus hadn't ever seen before…except in one person. Severus touched his ebony wand for comfort. Just in case….

"Hello," Severus returned, feeling slightly unnerved at how the man was looking at him. He hid his emotions of nervousness and alarm behind a mask.

"What's your name?"

Now feeling extremely uncomfortable, Severus didn't answer. "I've got to go." He said quickly, darting into the crowd, hauling his trunk behind him. His eyes frantically searched for his mother. After a little while, Severus spotted her in the back, standing alone.

"Hey, mum," he said, desperately hoping she didn't want to linger around. The thought of the mysterious man still was making him apprehensive. He looked at her. She still looked the same from how he remembered her. Short brown hair, brown eyes, and skinny body and a tired stressed look on her pale face. Still the same.

"Severus," Eileen said, pulling him into a hug. "I've missed you so much! I wished you'd write more but, ah well…you know your father."

"I'll see you at home," Severus said quietly to Lorant, opening the cage for the owl to fly out. he knew he'd be happier flying then he would be Apparating or driving. "Spinner's End."Lorant butted Severus's hand in farewell and spread his wings, flying off.

"I drove." She said simply.

Severus stood, trying to read her emotions and feelings towards him. He'd never been exactly close to his mum, and he knew that she loved him even though she had a hard time showing it. It was the relationship that he he had with his father that made everything tense. For reasons he didn't know, Tobias hated him. Eileen tried to protect him from her husband, but there was only so much she would do before backing down.

"I can take the cage." She offered and Severus handed her Lorant's empty cage. Quickly, they walked out of the platform and outside to where the car was parked, trying to keep up with her. Merlin, he'd forgotten that she was fast when she wanted to be. He slid into the beat up car once his trunk was safely in the trunk of the car.

"How was your first year at Hogwarts?" she asked him after a long stretch of silence. "As good as you were hoping?"

"Even better." Severus replied.

As the drive progressed, he began to doze off. He woke up with a jolt. He smelt Spinner's End before he saw it. He opened his eyes and the bricks of Spinner's End came into view. Eileen gave a small encouraging smile, opening the door for him.

When he walked into the house, he caught a whiff of alcohol. He had almost expected the walls to be covered with books and for his usual sofa and table to be sitting in the middle of the sitting room. But instead, the walls were bare and cracked and there was a television and an armchair with a man in it.

"Hello," Eileen said to the man. "I'm back."

"Good," the man said gruffly. "Then you can cook dinner."

"Of course," Eileen said in a strained voice. She made her way to the kitchen after pulling out Severus's trunk and resizing it quietly. She hesitated a little before saying, "Severus is back."

Tobias didn't respond but kept watching the television. Severus exhaled with relief. That was the best greeting he'd ever gotten from his father. Eileen handed the cage and the trunk to him.

"Why don't you go up to your room and I'll bring your supper up later?" Eileen suggested softly. "Don't annoy him." Severus curled his lip but agreed, going up the stairs to where his old room was, hauling his trunk as silently as possible. He didn't want his father to complain about the noise. The house was very tiny and the hallway only had three doors, two leading to bedrooms and the other to the bathroom.

He opened the door to the left cautiously. Inside was a small bed in the far corner, a dresser in the other corner and an old wooden desk between the two. The walls were once white (although they were so old that they were almost gray) and the tiny window right over his desk had faded fabric on either side for curtains. Even though it was his room, it felt weird and awkward to be back in it. When his parents had died, he had inherited the house and he had slept in the other bigger bedroom and let Wormtail sleep in the smaller room.

He wandered around his room for a few minutes, getting accustomed to the feel again. He opened drawers of the dresser and found old muggle clothing. He opened desk drawers and found muggle writing tools like pencils and pens and a few sheets of paper. Some drawers had books from when he was younger. He remembered that he didn't have a lot growing up, but he'd forgotten just how little he'd had. He supposed he ought to take everything out of his trunk and stow the trunk under his bed, so that's exactly what he did.

He opened his school and trunk and began to unpack, putting the torn and worn robes into the bottom drawers of the dresser. He took out his potion supplies, telescope and textbooks and put those in the drawers on the desk. When he reached into his trunk again, he pulled out the necklace he'd gotten for Christmas. Licking his lips nervously, he took the necklace and pulled it into the little hole in the wall behind his headboard. He didn't want that just lying around where anyone could pick it up.

Twiddling his wand in his hand, he sat down on the bed, realizing that his mother had put new sheets on his bed. He smiled. He poor mum. She was so blind and determined to believe that the former Tobias Snape she fell in love with still existed.

With a hoot, Lorant flew through the tiny window, barely making it though.

"Shhh," Severus hushed the owl. He didn't want his father to hear. Tobias would surely kill the owl. There was no doubt about it. He gave the owl a little pat on the head and then dropped the last of his treats into the cage.

He didn't know what he would do about his father yet. Even after a year, he didn't know. He stared down at his wand. He could do magic, as long as his mother was also in the house, and he wouldn't get caught.

XXXXXXXXXX

"Severus," Eileen said to him one day, running around trying to gather everything she needed for work. He jerked his head up from the dishes he had been doing. Merlin, it was a long time since he'd done anything as menial as dishes. He'd never done dishes or even cleaned the muggle way since he'd become a full wizard. It was hard going back to having restricted magic.

"Hmmm?" He violently attacked a spot on the plate he was washing.

"Would you quickly run up to my room and grab a sweater for me? That would be a big help." Eileen hopped on one foot trying to slide the other into a shoe. "I'm running a bit late."

If it were anyone else, Severus would have refused. But since it was his mother, he nodded, grabbed a towel to dry his hands with and rushed to his parent's room. He quietly knocked in case Tobias was inside and then let himself in when he realized he wasn't there.

"Sweater, sweater," Severus muttered to himself. Where the heck would his mother keep a sweater? He went over to his mother's dresser and rummaged through the drawers, hoping to find something that resembled a sweater.

It was the third drawer he tried that he found a sweater and, in the very back, hidden underneath the other folds of the clothes, a thin layer of magic that would've been ignored by anyone who wasn't of magical blood. What is she hiding? Curious he waved his hand, undoing the magical spell easily. He frowned and pulled the book out.

Abstract Secrets of Magic it read. Severus felt his breath hitch. He'd never seen anything like this. It was thickly bound in black leather with gold letters and embroidery.

"Severus!" his mother called. "Are you getting my sweater?" Severus jumped. Recasting the charm his mother had used, he quickly ran out of the room. He slipped quickly into his room, shoved the book underneath his bed covers and dashed downstairs with the brown sweater.

"Sorry, mum," he said, handing her the sweater, trying to get his breath under control. She gave him an odd look but accepted the sweater.

"It's fine," she reassured him. "Be good, okay?"

"Of course."

She gave him a swift kiss on the top of his head and departed from the house. Once Severus heard the door close, he raced back upstairs, giddy with excitement. Shutting his door firmly, he reached into his bed and grabbed the hidden book.

He opened the cover and a small folded bit of parchment fell out.

Dearest Eileen,

We wish you good luck as you pursue your dreams. This is an old family book passed down the Prince line. As it is your seventeenth birthday, we are giving it to you. We hope you find it useful as it has information and stories that others could only dream to obtain. Treat it with care.

Love Mum and Dad

He scoffed. The book certainly did not look old. It looked brand new. He flipped through the pages of the book and as he glanced at the pages, he didn't understand anything it was saying. He doubted that his mother understood it. She'd probably just kept it because her parents had said it was important and valuable.

Severus's brow furrowed. His grandparents gave his mother the book. He'd never seen the book before. His mother had never given it to him and he'd never found it even after he death.

He gasped. No…. and yet…it seemed so plausible. He closed his eyes and tried to breathe slowly.

She had sold the book.

Severus bit his lip. He thought back to when he was fifteen and going into his O.W.L. year. More books had been needed than normal since his courses were more rigorous than normal and his mother couldn't afford to buy all of them.

He remembered going into Diagon Alley one day before his fifth year. His mother had been carrying a heavy looking parcel. She'd refused to tell him what it was but had disappeared for a little while and when she's returned, the parcel was gone and replaced with a little sack of coins.

She's sold the book. No wonder he'd never seen it before. Borgin would've wanted it and Eileen would've needed the money.

He opened the first page and began to read it, trying to bring all his knowledge of magic together so he could understand what it was saying.