(A/N): This is for the anonymous review who posted their concern for a new chapter. Sorry for the long wait!


Chapter 9 - Anxiety

"There is that awful moment when you realize that you're falling in love. That should be the most joyful moment, and actually it's not. It's always a moment that's full of fear because you know, as night follows day, the joy is going to rapidly be followed by some pain or other. All the angst of a relationship."

~ Helen Mirren


Baralai stands before the mirror of his downstairs bathroom, massaging his sore face. It may be tolerable now, but he knows his face will experience greater pain as soon as he wakes up tomorrow morning. Applying some medicinal cream to his swollen, ruddy cheeks, he flinches at first, before sighing in blissful relief afterwards. 'Tidus must really hate me. He didn't pull any of his punches.' He doesn't care, though. "No love lost," as they say.

Straightening his posture, he puts away the facial cream and washes his hands before his phone starts ringing in his pocket. He answers it after drying his hands. "Hello?"

"Baralai, baby!"

"Oh. It's you. You're the last person I wanted to talk to." He heads straight for the living room, collapsing into the couch. If this call stays true to form, this conversation may take a while, so he might as well get comfortable.

"Hey, hey, hey, don't hang up the phone! You finally answer this one time and all I get is Mr. Grumpy Face? You're ice cold, man. Ice cold. Where's the love?"

"I don't want to hear that coming from you."

"Damn. You're real frosty today. What's up your ass?"

"You mean what's up with me for the past week? You, that's what. It appears there lies no end to your callous mischief."

"What? Me? I don't know what you are talking about."

"Do not play stupid with me. You sent Yuna into the lion's den earlier. She barely made it out of the boys' locker room alive!"

"Oooh, so that was you. I was wondering why I didn't see her come out. You were playing hero to the damsel in distress. Aww, you're so cute, B'man."

"And you were the monster," Baralai says with a tight smile. Leaning back against the armrest, he picks at his fingernails, making a mental note to write a grocery list for later. They're running low on applesauce and protein shakes.

"Hey, that's not nice. You're always a little touchy when it involves Yuna."

"And you're not exactly the epitome of innocence, drama queen."

"What? Me? Good sir, I am not a drama queen."

"Oh? Then what are you if not a clown?"

"I am the King of drama!"

"You just proved my point."

"Anyway, we need to do something about you."

Sensing this familiar, foreboding line of past, repeated, and hopeless conversations about his single status, Baralai doesn't even bother pretending to sound innocent this time. "And what is that, pray tell?"

"You know exactly what I'm talking about. Girls keep coming up to me asking for your number and none of them ever get return calls."

"Oh, so that was your doing? Now I know who to blame," he says, soon dropping the sarcasm, "At any rate, you know I don't answer calls that are not in my phone book."

"Never would have pegged you as a lady killer. It's always the tall, dark, handsome ones…" In the background, Gippal breaks away from the conversation, distracted by something, and then he returns. "So, when are you ever gonna date somebody?"

"Whenever I have time. But then again, I have better things to do than waste it on someone who doesn't take me seriously."

"My God, that's exactly your problem! You're too serious. Let loose like the coolest piece of jelly and have some fun for once in your life! And I'm the best man to call. Heh, heh."

"You're being dramatic, and I do have fun. You exist to protect me from boredom."

"Aw, thanks, B'man. You do care! But anyway, there has to be someone you like. Any girl that strikes your fancy, or who'd make you want to choke the chicken? I mean, you must beat the meat once in a while."

"Please stop with your hideous analogies of masterbation. You are making me uncomfortable." Baralai sits up at once, blushing bright red and cursing Gippal's ability to embarrass him beyond human imagination. "I'm not interested in anyone, so can we please let the matter rest?"

"Do you even like dating?"

"No, I don't. How many times am I going to have to say this?" He lies back down, exhausted. "You know how much I hate the whole 'dating scene' and 'love game' everyone loves to keep popularizing. Romantic relationships are something I take very seriously, you know."

"You're like… the anti-playboy." Gippal snorts, amused. "Always thought that kind of guy was a myth."

"Why are we even talking about this?"

"Because you need to get laid."

"Look, you... I don't want to stick myself into just anybody, okay?"

"C'mon, what would it take for you to open up just a little? Just. A. Little. It's not gonna kill you to talk about your feelings, will it?"

"No. But with you, I always wonder." Baralai sighs, relenting just this once. To confide in someone who he considers dangerous with personal information, he must be willing to look past past experience. "Look, for me to even consider the idea of a date as remotely tolerable, I would have to be with someone nice and pleasant to be around like Yuna―."

"Oh? Oh ho ho! So you are interested in someone!"

"Wait, what?" Baralai panics, cursing his Freudian tongue. "No, I'm not. I simply said her name in passing―."

"But she was the first name that popped into your head," Gippal says in a sing-song voice.

At times like these, Baralai wishes they were in the same room so he can chuck a pillow at his infuriating face. 'This is EXACTLY why I hate talking to him. Why do I never learn?' "Just because she came to mind doesn't mean the stars will align and all will become right in the world―."

"Look at you, getting all poetic."

"I was being sarcastic. Now if you don't stop this, I'm going to end this call."

"Just when it was getting good… Well, whatever. If you ever feel like picking up the damn phone, I might just be nicer to you next time around."

Baralai sighs, guilty. "Okay, how about this? We can hang out tomorrow. Maybe grab some sushi or something."

"Sweet! I'm all for it."

"See you then?"

"See you then.

"Okay. Goodbye."

"Farewell, but not goodbye."

His trademark goodbye never fails to make him smile. "Farewell."

Baralai walks upstairs to his room, feeling chilly from the draft blowing in from the open door of the backyard. Right when his hand touches the doorknob, he remembers allowing Yuna to shower in his bathroom; maybe she has already finished, in the middle of dressing. Did he even remember to give her spare clothing to wear? He didn't check if her clothes were done drying, yet. He knocks. No answer. Curious and conflicted, he cracks open the door and pokes his head through. Seeing Yuna nap on his bed pants-less, clothed only in her underwear and the shirt he lent her, he sighs and steps inside. 'Why does this feel like deja vu?'

Beelining to his closet, which lies adjacent to his bed, he keeps his eyes trained on the wardrobe as he leafs through his shirts and coats, picking out a thin jacket. He puts it on, leaving it unzipped, and reaches in to grab a small blanket before closing his closet.

'Are you trying to seduce me?' He sighs, frustrated, covering her indecency with his blanket, but more so concerned with her catching a cold.

Baralai doesn't dare linger, standing at once to exit his room.


Knocking on the front door of Shelinda's house, Baralai waits. Readjusting his shoulder bag, he looks up at the sound of the door opening and his polite smile falters when she emerges with a downtrodden, quiet look on her face.

"Oh. Hi, Baralai."

"Greetings. I'm sorry to intrude."

"It's not a problem. Why are you here today?"

"I have something to drop off for you."

"Oh. Th-Thanks. You didn't have to..."

"Here are your assignments from the classes you were absent for. Mr. Kinoc gave me your address." She receives the papers without another word, and he wonders where the usual chipper Shelinda went. "I haven't seen you in school lately. You are looking less like a golden retriever and more like Eeyore." He tries to lift her mood with a simple joke and panics once she starts to cry. 'Was it something I said?'

"I'm so sorry, I-I…" Unable to bring herself to talk, she breaks down in a sob; he simply stands there, feeling awkward. This feels different from watching Yuna cry; he and Shelinda are only acquaintances, and the intimacy of a comforting hug daunts him from closing the distance. "I-I didn't mean to cry like this. I don't want to cry in front of you, but…"

"Okay. Will you start telling me why you are crying? I can see something is bothering you, and I'm receiving the impression you haven't talked to anybody about it, yet."

"M-My parents… They are upset with me, because… b-because…!" She sniffs, risking a frightened glance over her shoulder. "Because I've been a bad girl! I'm such a horrible person!"

"Why are they upset?" Baralai lowers his voice to sound gentle, watching her struggle to gather the words.

She does not move, only trembles. "I-I fell in love with someone I shouldn't have, and…" She stops to look at him, fear swimming in her eyes, and he gulps down the trepidation. "You wouldn't want to hear it. You'd judge me, or tell someone―."

"I promise I will not tell a single soul. I don't know whether or not I want to know, but… I will honor your trust in me with absolute secrecy."

"Really? You'd do that for me?"

He nods. "Of course. You sound like you need someone to give a listening ear."

She takes his affirmation as the courage she needs to step out from behind the shadow of her doorway. "Um, I-I found out last week that I… I've been throwing up a lot recently, and all the foods I like to eat make me nauseous, and and… Please don't tell anyone!"

"Shelinda, calm down. Just breathe, okay? Breathe and recollect yourself."

"Please don't judge me. I was only following my heart…"

"...What happened? It can't be that bad."

"I-I'm pregnant."


Baralai heads for the department store afterwards, hoping to find a way to distract himself. Browsing the rack of this season's new selection of clothes in Macy's, he pays only half a mind to the designs and retro colors. He can't bring himself to appreciate the new fashion when too many thoughts cloud his mind.

'How am I supposed to feel about this? Someone I know is pregnant, a girl who had a whole life ahead of her. Why did she do it? She's not the type to stray from her values. I've known her for over two years; she comes from a strict, Christian family. She's religious! Who could possibly be the father? She can't even begin to look at boys without blushing like a cherry!'

Frustrated at his inability to resolve an issue he holds no involvement in, he decides to stop thinking about it altogether. He wrenches a hanger out from its place with a little more force than necessary, studying the pullover.

"Careful there. You'll soon set that poor shirt on fire at the rate you're glaring at it."

"Excuse me?" Turning to acknowledge the man who spoke to him, Baralai drops the witty response he prepared and stares. "Mr. Alexander, hi, ahem, hello. Good afternoon. Evening? It's evening now, I think. Nice to see you…?" Embarrassed at this point, he puts the shirt back where he found it and resists the urge to shuffle his feet.

"Oh? You didn't like the shirt? I thought it might look nice on you."

"Thank you." He nods in his direction, unable to meet his gaze for some reason. After berating himself for acting so awkward, he faces him with a polite smile in place. "Fancy meeting you here, Mr. Alexander. Are you shopping for clothes as well?"

"No. Cologne, actually. I love Calvin Klein's line."

"Me, too. I love their clothing labels. It's my favorite." When the conversation stops there, making way for silence to stroke his nerves, Baralai loops his thumbs into his pockets, tempted to fidget, yet the man before him just smiles at him in that nice way of his, and he wants to know how he always manages to look so serene.

"Well? Will you be picking out a new shirt?"

"Ah, no. I'm fine. Actually, I find myself not in the mood to shop. I don't know why I am here, to be honest."

"Is that so? When I saw you, I wanted to say hello, but now I wonder if maybe I'm bothering you."

"Oh, no, not at all! You're not a bother. I―you caught me at a bad moment."

"My apologies for startling you. Would you like to grab a bite to eat, then? Maybe something from the food court will cheer you up. Unless you don't want the company of an old man." Braska smiles at his own joke.

That last remark makes him laugh, and he covers his mouth from further vindicating himself. "You're not old at all, sir. You look very good for your age. And having lunch sounds like a good idea. I think I'll take you up on your offer."

As much as he regards Yuna's father as a nice person, the fact he approached him with the intentions of spending time with him, a friend of his daughter's ― one out of many, and a male one at that ― makes him suspect he wishes to speak to him specifically. His suspicions prove correct after they arrive at an Italian eatery.

"I'm glad I ran into you."

Baralai smiles, setting his tray of food on the table, before taking a seat. He waits for Braska to seat himself across from him before picking up the fork to start eating his pasta. Although he sounds pleasant, Baralai can sense the serious shift in their conversation. He mentally prepares himself for the talk he has been expecting since Sunday night.

"You want to talk about that night, correct?"

He nods. "I don't think I've ever thanked you properly. I had to rush to work on Monday… Thank you for looking after my daughter during a time of extreme circumstances. I knew it was a burdensome request, but the fact you accepted the responsibility despite the inconvenience meant the world to me."

"Thank you, and you're welcome." Baralai leans forward to bow his head, recalling that this serves as a common Japanese custom, and sits back up to see his eyes twinkling at the thoughtful gesture. "I merely did what was expected of me. I invited her to my house, I was the host, therefore her safety was my concern."

Braska stares, and this makes Baralai feel self-conscious. "This is rare. I've never seen a teenager act so mature."

He clears his throat, accepting the compliment with grace. "Well, my parents raised me to be respectable."

"Yes, I can see that. That's a valuable trait to have, which leads me to this next request."

Baralai takes a sip from his lemonade, concealing his curiosity and anxiety behind the casual motion.

"Although I very much appreciate what you did, I still have my reservations."

"I understand," he says, calm, "I had been thinking how that must have been a very difficult decision to make, trusting your only daughter with a boy you don't know."

"You are absolutely right. Now that I know you are quick to understanding these kind of things, this will be easier to say. Baralai."

At the call of his name, he sits up straighter, attentive. "Yes, sir?"

"In light of recent events, I wish for you to date my daughter."

Well, he hadn't been expecting that. In order to delay the inevitable response, Baralai takes a bite out of his pasta, giving himself time to formulate his next response. "...may I ask why?"

"I never allowed Yuna to sleep over at a boy's house, not even a friend's, because it was inappropriate. You were an exception, as you know. However, that incident taught me you are very mature for your age ― kind, respectful, and polite. I may have only known you for a very short time, but you have earned my trust. Therefore, I want to tell you that I approve of you."

"I-I am very flattered," he says, warmth blooming in his chest. "However… my feelings for Yuna don't surpass that of friendship. Besides, I'm not interested in dating someone who has feelings for another."

"Since you've mentioned that, I bring up my other point. The past week I've noticed how often Yuna talks about you in a way she doesn't about her other friends. It makes a concerned father curious. I also believe because of that weekend, Yuna developed quite the crush on you."

Baralai won't deny this, not when he feels this sudden and possessive urge to protect her from those who wish to mistreat her or manipulate her in the slightest. Like that April Fool's incident, and then the accident in the Chemistry lab, and now this afternoon with the boys' locker room. He can't tear his eyes away from her, can't bring himself to stop paying attention to everything she does, especially learning how much she tends to daydream. She has this inexplicable power to make him worry about her, and it scares him.

"There's a personal aspect to this request, you see. I don't doubt you know this, but she broke up with her previous boyfriend several months ago. However, her feelings for him are so strong the decision still devastates her."

Baralai dares to voice the question everyone must have asked, curiosity peaked. "Do you know why?"

"I don't actually. She maintained her grades, despite certain distractions… I didn't disapprove of her relationship. Well, regardless of her reasons, she's very lonely and I hoped that your companionship would make her happy. You two appear close."

Halfway done with his meal and running out of food to stuff his mouth, he migrates to his drink instead, trying to mask his nervousness. The more and more this man talks, the more this sounds like a father lecturing his future son-in-law. This atmosphere feels… marital. Baralai fancies himself an old-fashioned person, but he never anticipated this kind of thing so soon, if at all. He likes to take things slow, yet with a friend like Yuna, the lines start to blur. He never thought of Yuna like that before, because he has school, his best friends, and his great-grandmother, but… a relationship?

'I'm about to graduate in three months! I can't afford to be distracted. Romance can wait for summer vacation.'

Thinking about this in a positive light, though, Yuna… She's not displeasing to the eye. She possesses a natural beauty he always stops to appreciate, and her personality fulfills many qualities that he finds attractive.

He clears his throat, self-conscious. "...may I, um, think about this?"


Baralai inserts the key into the lock, pushing the handle open, and he walks in with heavier shoulders than when he left. Locking the door shut behind him, he trudges to the kitchen and hears a couple of voices echoing from the backyard. "Yuna, is that you? I brought you some food in case you were hungry. Your father said you liked lasagna…"

He stops short, laying eyes on the most beautiful woman in the world.

Yuna enters from the garden, long yellow sundress fluttering in the last vestiges of sunlight, the short strands of her rich hair swaying around her face and glowing with the light of her smile. Her whole body radiates soft beauty, rendering him spellbound, and it takes him a moment to realize she's speaking to him.

"What do you think? Yunalesca let me wear one of her dresses. Isn't it beautiful?" She giggles, delighting in the buoyancy as she twirls around in place. "I'm guessing you like it, because you're not saying anything."

"Oh, r-right. I didn't mean to stare. I'm sorry about that…" He rubs his head and chuckles, but behind his pleasant front, he swears up a storm. 'Curse you, Grandmother, you conniving witch. Curse whoever invented dresses! My one and only weakness...'

Yunalesca hovers in the background, looking all smug.

He glares at her. 'I will talk to you later.'

"That's okay. I'll take it as a sign you're absolutely speechless." She giggles, amused by his blushing, red face. Inhaling a familiar, delicious scent, she sees the plastic bag he holds and smiles. "Did you go to Rin's Italian Food? I'm jealous!"

He clears his throat, handing it to her. "Yes, I― I bought some for you. I'm sorry I didn't wait to eat with you."

"Really? Aw, you're so sweet. Thank you," she says, peeking in the white box. "You even got my favorite! You're the best."

And as they settle down around the dining table, Baralai counts the seconds he must endure, stealing looks behind her back and wanting to touch her, until he can finally drop her off home.