An update so soon ? Oh my gosh! Nah, I'm just kiddin' ya. I'm planning to update once more today ad then I'm off to vacation once more. So, enjoy the chapter I guess.


Inspired by a group of rascals. Enjoy !

This is a work of fiction and is in no way associated with real life happenings.

Disclaimer; I do not own any of the varied anime/manga details mentioned in the story, as much as I would like to.

Now guys, this is where the story gets interesting, in a number of different ways. I was flooded by ideas the last few days so I'm pretty confident that I can make something out of this. It started out as a story I wanted to write just for fun, you know, a gag story with maybe a couple of chapters but after careful consideration and much plot remaking, I've decided to make this a thing.

Anyways, enjoy this chapter !


The not so Fantastic Five
Chapter Seven - "Things just keep getting bigger, don't they.."

Akane; "Oi.."
Kyon; "Where the hell are we.."
Aoi; "We were just..getting ready for bed.."
Ryuu; "Yeah, I distinctly remember having to carry that heavy woman to her tent..and falling asleep from exhaustion."
Akane; "This sure ain't the tropical climate we were in minutes ago."
Akasuki; "Guys, look at this. There's something written."

Their attentions were slowly directed to where Akasuki was curiously pointing, and in front of them, disregarding the run down, old building - pretty close to it's exhaustion - stood a sign dangling off the sides of the broken down walls - reading clear as a bell.

"Devil May Cry"

The teens stood silent for a moment, and who first to speak up than the sizzling red head herself. "..joudan..ka ? (A..joke ?)", she questioned, her voice slightly tripping at the sudden translation of the sign's saying. Devil May Cry. Only one thing came to mind.

One thing.

And she, as well as Kyon, who had come to the same realization - hey, not everyone in the group was as informed as the two know-it-all veterans - would be damned if they didn't have a sneak peek at the slight possibility of an altered reality.

Because suddenly appearing in the middle of a tropical atmosphere through the simple act of entering a black portal to return from a space time broken dimension definitely wasn't a cause for worry.

You might be wondering why - despite all the breath taking occurrences - the five had managed to stay so flawlessly calm throughout all this time. Well, you see..

They weren't.

They were freaking out, frankly.

Hell, both Akasuki and Ryuu were ready to piss their pants, Kyon was facing a mental break down and the twin duo were just lost in confusion. The only thing keeping them sane - and their heads safely away from the very appealing concrete ground - was the fact that this in itself was really fucking incredible, and you'd have to be a hands down retard to pass it up. Sure, maybe they'd piss themselves - undermining the fact that they were graceful flower petals walking the earth ie. female (Well, three fifths of them were) - but who's to say it wouldn't be fully worth it ? Clothes are disposable, right ?

Akane; "Oi, Kyon-bouzu (Similar to 'kid'), the doors are right there. Wanna take a chance ?"
Kyon; "Nani ga bouzu da ? (What, kid ?) I'm older than you, Red."
Akane; "Tsumaranai megane yarou da ne.. (You sure are a boring glasses freak..)"
Kyon; "Sou, sou, Retto-chan. (Sure, sure, little Red.) Iku no ka ? (We going ?)"
Akane; "Touzen darou ? (Isn't that a given ?) Ikou, mina. (Let's go, guys.)"

They all said their prayers - again, just the two veterans did, because the other three had absolutely no idea where they were, but you get the gist - and in a heightened step, walked up to the doorstep and left three distinct knocks on the door.

"Ah, that's gotta be my pizza. Oi, Patty, open the door."

"Again with the pizza ? Maybe they're customers, sit down, will you ?"

"Irashaimase~ (Welcome~)"

The doors came to a steady reveal, leaving the short blonde on the other side in a state of embezzlement.

"A-ara ?"

"Oi, I ain't givin' no tips."

"A-ano..can I help you ?" The blonde questioned, the confused, slightly startled expression still firmly settled upon her facial features. "Ah, yes.." Kyon spoke up this time, stepping forward whilst adjusting his glasses to take a better look at the smaller in build blonde. "We're here for..uh..business ?" He said, wondering about his own intentions before letting himself continue. "We'd like to enquire about - "Before he could get back on track, he was cast aside as easily as he had stepped forward. "We're here to collect the rent." Ryuu butted in, peeking into the building, a quizzical look cast upon his face.

"Tch, I said I'd pay the rent by the end of the month. Scram 'fore I.."

A tall..really fucking tall..uh, silver-haired male (Can you say it's silver ? Grey ? Who knows.) approached the group, staring down on Ryuu - not really, since Ryuu was a monster on his own but the point's been made so lay off - ie. the piece of shit who came to collect the rent. "Ha ? What's this sorry bunch ? Did they get so poor they started recruitin' kids ? What's the world gettin' to, oi." The tall male remarked snappily. "Yadda mou, Ryuu-kun, we're not doing that again." Aoi intercepted, a chirp in her voice. "Sou da Ryuu. Don't start a ruckus again. Don't you remember who had to repaint the school in the end ?" Akane snapped quietly, reminiscing on old times. Rather, last month. Oh, who the hell cares. Point is, they were the ones that had to fix everything while Ryuu did community time in suspension. Lucky bastard.

"Get to the point, munchkins." The tall male snarled, losing his patience by the moment. Jeez..they were getting to it, no need to get his panties in a bunch. "Right. We're not here to correct rent. We're kinda..lost. To be honest, this isn't where we belong." Kyon started, getting them back on track. Might as well tell the truth. From what he knew, these were people they could trust, or hitch a ride with, in the least. "Don't belong..?" Assessing suspiciously, the male leaned against the door frame, crossing his arms in a disregarding fashion. "Are you humans ?" Oi, oi, was that the proper thing to say ? Akasuki couldn't believe this. Of course they were -

Kyon; "We're humans."
Aoi; "Are we ?"
Ryuu" "I think we are."
Akasuki; "Well, let's say kinda ?"
Akane; "Then we're kinda humans."

Well, that certainly made complete and perfect sense and was not confusing in the least.

Right.

"Huh, don't think I've ever met 'kinda humans'."

"Isn't that what you are ?"

A moment, more alike an hour of silence befell the group, until Akasuki - the very loudmouth to utter that sentence - felt a sudden rift in the air, her eyes widening upon the sight of a huge ass, dangerously looking sword, drifting scarily close to her throat. And she..was on the floor ? What ?

"Gaki..(Brat..) what did you just say ?"

Akane; "Accha~ I cut my finger."
Aoi; "How did you manage that, haha ?"
Akane; "See, it's really hard to repel a sword without proper defenses..guys..where's my katana ?"
Ryuu; "You must've left it at camp."
Akasuki; "Yesh, I remember leaving it in the tent."
Kyon; "Here we go."

Without a moment to spare, Akasuki was taken off her feet once more and briskly pushed against the wall with equal force, however this time along she had certainly noticed it. The glare on her red-headed friend was kinda..well, scary.

Akane; "Buchikorosuzo, oi. (I'll fucking kill you.) I told you to never touch Kuragar. Never. She must be lonely on her own now. Or even worse, someone could've stolen her ! Yaddaaa, Kuragaaar~! Ima taskeru yo ! (I'm coming to save you now !)"
Aoi; "Aka-nee has a great attachment to Kuragar, since she was crafted by our father before he..ah, disappeared."
Akasuki; "Jaaa~! Akadeee~! I'b soeey~! I bibn't meam to, waah~! Seppukuuu~!"
Kyon; "Chott - oi !"

-A few minutes later, after Akane had more or less gathered her nerves and Akasuki had finished being shriveled up on the floor, wallowing in self-resent. -

Akasuki; "I'll find it as soon as we get back to camp, I promise !"
Akane; "Her. Find /her/. Whatever."
Kyon; " -whisper- But hey..Akasuki, that thing you said before..do you know who this is ? -whisper- "
Akasuki; "Hm ? Oh ! Of course ! My sister plays the game all the time, so it's a given I'd know."

How could she not.

Dante, the Devil Hunter.

Aoi; "As much as I like everything to be in a hushed tone, Aka-nee, you're going to have to tell me what this is about. I don't like not knowing."
Akane; "Just leave it for a while, yeah ? I'll explain later."

Still in a pissed off mood I see.

Well then.

Aoi; "Silver-san, it seems we'll be in your care for a while."
Akane; "Yoroshiku na."
Dante; "Who said you could stay here, brats. Get - "
Akasuki; "Don't mind, don't mind~"
Patty; "That's right, Dante, they seem like fun."

And so it was settled - one way or the other - that the five would stay at the Devil May Cry organization until they found a way to get home.

The owner himself didn't agree.

But nobody asked him, so it was okay.

Akasuki; "Demo na.. (But you know..) does anyone have any idea how we got here ?"
Akane; "Shiran. (Don't ask me.) As far as I'm concerned, we shouldn't even be surprised anymore. Too many things happened today."
Kyon; "Well, since it seems we'll be spending some time here, we might as well practice a bit. You never know when we might appear back on camp again."
Ryuu; "I vote first portal we see, we enter."
Aoi; "Agreed, things can't possibly get any more,ridiculous. But if we're going to practice, I assume we should do it outside."

Dante; "Gucha gucha, urusen da yo. (Enough with the chitter chatter.) I can't sleep."
Akane; "Warukatta yo, kuro nekossuke-san.. (Well sorry, mr. grumpy cat..) Actually..sleep doesn't sound half bad right about now."
Kyon; "You're speakin' my language."
Aoi; "We haven't had the chance to sleep these past few days, huh.."
Akasuki; "We're taking the couch~"

I guess it was sleep time now ?

Despite it being the bink of afternoon.

But fine.

"I hope you're having a good time, my children. But trust me, the fun is just about to come.."

- Hours pass in slumber -

Kyon; "AHO KA, OI !?"
Aoi; "PUT THE FIRE OUT."
Ryuu; "WHAT THE HELL IS THIS."
Akasuki; "MY SKIRT CAUGHT ON FIRE."
Akane; "KUSO AKASUKI, BE USEFUL."
Kyon; "WHO WAS THE ONE THAT TORCHED THE WHOLE AREA !?"
Akane; "DON'T LECTURE ME. BECAUSE OF YOU, THE WHOLE NEIGHBOURHOOD'S OUTTA ELECTRICITY AND I HAD TO START A FIRE."
Akasuki; "GUYS, THE FIRE'S SPREADING TO THE BUILDING !"

Fire..

Fire ?

FIRE !?

A scorching flame the size of a two story building, spread across the whole area, burning through any defences the building may or may not have had, eating it's way through the machinery situated in front.

What the hell.

Aoi; "Ah, Silver-san, as you see, we're in a bit of a predicament."
Kyon; "Because a certain someone's got no sense of control."
Akane; "Urusai, it's my first time. And you're no better, idiot."

How did this..

Dante; "Oi, oi, this is no joke.."

He was a bit of a pyroman himself so this wasn't a grotesque sight and who didn't like a good fire once in a while but the reason for his anger was mainly because he'd have to pay for repairs. And he was neck deep in debt as it was.

Ryuu; "Wait ! We can fix this. Uhh..we'll pay for pizza ?"
Akane; "We have no money."
Ryuu; "Right. Uh..sorry ?"

Someone needed to die right now.

And there wasn't a demon in sight.

Actually..he'd have to get back to you on that because he honestly wasn't sure anymore.

Akasuki; "You believe in love, right ?"

Hm..?

Akasuki; "Well I love not dying !"

Yeah..someone needed to die.

Right about now.

"Ara ma, what is this ?"
Dante; "Great, just who I needed..This wretched woman."
"That's horrible, is that how you see me ?"
Dante; "Hah, can't you see I've got better things to worry about ?"
"This is quite a fine piece of work, who's to blame ?"
Dante; "This sorry bunch right here."

Another pyroman, great.

Akane; "Yadda na, you're making me blush~"
Kyon; "Is that supposed to be sarcasm ?"
Akane; "It shouldn't be ?"
Kyon; "I don't think it's appropriate at the moment."
Akane; "Silly potato, sarcasm is always appropriate."

It's actually never appropriate, but let's not nitpick shall we~

Akasuki; "I..can fix this."
Akane; "Don't even try it."
Kyon; "We'll all drown."
Aoi; "It's nice that you'd /try/, Akasuki-chan."
Ryuu; "I still suggest drowning in our own tears."

"It's still spreading~"

Akane; "Mou, wakatteru, urusai - eh ?"

That woman..Tall, muscular build..Short hair, midnight dripping from it's tips and that extraordinary red eye..

Akane; "Lady..ka ?"
Kyon; "Hontou da.."
Lady; "Ara, am I famous already ?"
Akasuki; "Let's say you are, where we come from."
Aoi; "Ah, now that you mention it..Devil May Cry..Aka-nee, that's the game you have, right ?"
Akane; "Mmhm, explanation over."
Aoi; "Ah~ Now I remember why Silver-san looked so familiar ! He's your favorite - "

Before she could utter another word, Aoi was ambushed from behind, her sister restricting her ability to talk by placing an attentive hand over her mouth. "Not another word." She warned, glancing towards the two adults ago who kept exchanging worrisome looks between,each other, every now and then whispering something under their chins. "You five are gonna have to explain some things. Dante may have let it pass, but I don't plan on doing that." This is why she had warned her sister not to say anything. For this exact reason. They were already suspicious in the eyes of the two Hunters, the last thing they needed was more misunderstandings.

Dante; "I don't care about that but my pizza's just arrived so I'm going inside."

"A-ano, I don't know what this is about but..um, can I get paid ?"

Dante; "Just put it on my tab."


Please ignore all possible spelling mistakes! I'm feeling a bit rebellious so no proof-reading *coughnotlikeidoitregularlycough*

Anyways, look forward to the soon-to-be update!