"MY EYES! NO! PLEASE NO! ARRGHH!" Nightshade bolted upright at the shout and quickly scanned the area for the source of the noise. Zaku was writhing on the ground, a look of sheer terror on his face.

Not again.

"Zaku, wake up! It's a nightmare! It's not real!" She shouted at him as she roughly shook his shoulders in a attempt to wake him up. It seemed like an eternity before he finally woke up.

"I…I thought I was…" He stammered as he looked round the clearing they had camped in for the night. Nightshade said nothing. She couldn't really be angry with him. Instead she was confused.

I thought they had stopped?

I don't think that they'll ever stop. It was a big thing to go through. Hel told her in a sad voice. Nightshade growled and silently cursed both Kami and Orochimaru. How could they have put him through that?

"You should get some sleep. I'll take over." Zaku said, breaking her out of her thoughts. Nightshade was about to protest but then she saw his eyes. He wouldn't be able to sleep again tonight, nor would he let himself.

"Alright, but if you get tired wake me up." Zaku nodded as he got to his feet and walked over to where she had been sitting when she had heard him. Nightshade instantly laid down and shut her eyes. She knew that Zaku didn't like people visibly fussing over him.

Why? Why won't they leave me alone? Zaku asked himself for the thousandth time as he struggled to calm himself down. It was bad enough that he had been killed and then brought back to be a vessel for some demon for Orochimaru's twisted ambitions, but being plagued by memories of the year he had been dead was something that he would be better off without. He couldn't even shut his eyes for fear of seeing that place again.

Are you alright?

No I'm not alright! I just want the nightmares to stop! I want to forget! The voice stayed silent at that. Bunching his knees up further, Zaku allowed his emotions to get the better of him and a few silent tears trickled down his face. Why? Why did fate enjoy screwing him over at every chance it got? He'd been born an orphan, unloved and unwanted for the first ten years of his life, used as a pawn for four years, had both his arms broken and later destroyed beyond repair for his master, killed by that same master for some jutsu that didn't even work the way it was supposed to and then forced to spend a year in hell as punishment for the sins that he had committed. His body started to shake violently. That was a place he never wanted to go back to. The stories about it were fairy tales in comparison to the real thing. Hell was a place of endless torment and the demons and monsters in there were keen to uphold that reputation. Zaku had been eaten alive, slowly dismembered while being awake, had his eyes torn from his sockets, arms and legs ripped from body, raped, thrown into boiling larva and other disgusting and sickening tortures that would send even the most seasoned ninja running for the hills screaming in terror. He wasn't the only one to have been brought back from the dead though. Orochimaru had also exhumed Haku's body from her grave in the Land of Waves in order to learn more of her Kekkei Genkai and later decided to use her as the host for the raven demon Morrigan. She hadn't been in Hell but in a state of purgatory that had been nothing but eternal darkness so she understood his suffering a little.

"Zaku?" He looked up at Yugito and smiled.

"Hey, I couldn't sleep so I took over from Nightshade a few minutes ago."

Yugito frowned but said nothing. It was obvious. Shaking body, the smell of cold sweat and tear streaks down his face. He'd had another nightmare.

"It's my turn anyway and I wouldn't mind some company." Yugito said airily as she sat down beside him. For an hour there was silence as both kept an eye out for threats and got lost in their own thoughts.

"Yugito." Yugito stiffened then relaxed and looked expectantly at Zaku who took a deep breath before continuing.

"How do you put up with it? You know, unwanted memories. How do you stop them from driving you insane?" The cat hanyou bit her lip. Sure she'd suffered emotional torture when she had killed for the first time and putting up with the villager's and their hatred, but that was peanuts in comparison. The kid had been betrayed, killed and spent Kami knows how long in the worst place imaginable and come out with his sanity still intact. Well, most of it. Zaku suffered from vivid nightmares, both sleeping and waking ones and sometimes suffered from mental breakdowns. But he was better than what he had been like during the first two years.

"I don't know how to answer that Zaku. It's different for every person. I guess the only thing you can do is not keep it bottled up. There are people here who will listen."

Zaku looked away. He knew that, but he didn't want them to know what he'd gone through. They had enough shit to deal with.

There's always me. The voice hissed again.

I know that Jomungand and I talk to you. It's just…it's hard. There was a hiss and then silence. Zaku leaned back and watched the patch of sky that he could see through the trees. It lured him into a state of calm and inner peace. But he, Yugito and Jomungand all knew that this was only temporary. That he would never truly be free.

A few hours later, some of the others began to stir. Deidara was the first to actually get up and go to look for some food, alone. Yugito had offered to go with him but he had said that he wanted to be by himself. Even someone like him needed to be alone sometimes. As he navigated the forest, Deidara thought about the past and wished that it had been different. He, Karin and Naruto should have grown up in Konoha, under loving parents and become strong ninja. But that had all been fucked up thanks to Madara and Danzo. During the Kyuubi attack, Danzo had had his ROOT ANBU kidnap both him and Karin and separate them. Karin had been given to Orochimaru, who had hoped to use Kushina's Kekkei Genkai to his advantage and Deidara had been sold to Iwa. There, he had endured nearly ten years of the experiments that had given him his three mouths and ability to create exploding clay. When he was thirteen, they had deemed him powerful enough and broken enough to serve their village. What a mistake that had been. Two years later, he had killed his Jonin leader and fled Iwa, becoming branded as a missing nin. Thinking that he could find out where his siblings where and become stronger, Deidara had become a mercenary for a terrorist group. It was while working for them that he had learned of Naruto's fate and had become bitter towards the Leaf village. He swore that once he was seventeen, he would return and take his little brother away, find Karin and take them to a place where no one would ever find them. But the worst thing that could have happened did. His abilities brought him to the attention of the Akatsuki. He knew of them and was determined not to join them. This was the organisation that wanted to kill his little brother for Kami's sake! There was no way in any of the nine hells he was helping them! But he hadn't counted on Itachi forcing him to join them by beating him in a fight using his Sharingan. Then he got thinking. It was soon obvious that they had no idea that he was the 'Kyuubi's' brother. Maybe he could be sent to retrieve his brother and use that to gain access to him and hide him and Naruto away from the Akatsuki. But it had been Itachi and Kisame who had been assigned him. Still Deidara didn't let that stop him. He would have to be kept shut away before the Nine Tailed Fox could be extracted from him, seeing as it had to be sealed away in the statue last. He could bust him out. Then Sasuke had defected to Orochimaru and Naruto had mysteriously vanished shortly after. Torn up with worry and regret for not acting sooner, Deidara had thrown caution to the winds and deserted Akatsuki to search for him. A few months later, he had tracked down Sasuke Uchiha.

Flashback No Jutsu

"KATSU!" Deidara shouted and detonated the explosive that was near the young Uchiha. He wasn't aiming to kill. Yet. He wanted information first.

Did I get him?

He squinted into the smoke for signs of a wounded and disabled Sasuke. Suddenly he sensed a presence behind him and whirled round to see Sasuke behind him, in his second state and sword poised above his head.

"SHIT!" He automatically raised his arm to protect his neck. But the sword sliced through his arm and a fist slammed into his jaw, sending him slamming into the ground. Deidara yelled in pain as he felt a couple of his ribs and one of his legs shatter from the impact.

"Pathetic. Is this the best that Akatsuki has to offer? How very disappointing." Deidara growled and tried to get back up. He couldn't die. Not now! He had to live until he had found both Naruto and Karin! He couldn't lose to Sasuke, he just couldn't!

"Now, where is Itachi?"

"Fuck you, you piece of Uchiha shit! I have no fucking clue where your bastard brother is un!" He shouted, his free arm trying to get to his clay pouch in order to make an explosive he could use to help him. Sasuke snarled at Deidara's reply an stabbed his sword into the blonde's arm.

"I'll give you one more chance. Where is Itachi?"

"Screw you, snake whore! I'm not a part of that freak circus anymore, so I don't know anything about your brother un!" Sasuke had had enough. Without any warning he grabbed Deidara's head to keep him still, brushed back his fringe so that his right eye was visible and reached out a hand towards it. Next second the clearing was filled with Deidara's screams of pain as his eye was torn from his socket.

"Then why are you here?" When there was no answer, Sasuke held the other eye between his fingers.

"Why. Are. You. Here?" He repeated with more force and tightened his grip.

"He was looking for Naruto and Karin, Sasuke kun. Isn't that right, Deidara Namikaze?"

"You!" Deidara growled at a voice he hoped never to hear again.

"It's been a long time, Deidara kun." Orochimaru said as he emerged from where he had been watching the battle. He wasn't surprised. In fact he had been expecting the explosives expert to show up when he learnt that Deidara had left the Akatsuki. He knew of the blonde's true identity and had he still been in the organisation, he would have taken great delight in exposing him to Pein.

"You bastard! What the fuck have you done with Karin?" Deidara shouted, blood pouring out of his empty socket. Orchimaru simply laughed.

"You'll find out soon enough. You'll be perfect for an experiment I'm about to undertake." Deidara was about to tell him to fuck off, but before any words could reach his lips, he felt something roughly squeeze a pressure point in his neck and he sank into unconscious.

Flashback No Jutsu, Kai

Deidara growled at the memory and touched the empty eye socket that was mercifully hidden by his long fringe. But the poison from the snake strike that Sasuke had used to knock him out had rendered his good eye useless.

Thank Kami that the snake bastard chose me to be the hanyou of the bat demon.

Bats were naturally blind and got around using other means. Means that Pryron had passed on to Deidara and was helping him to refine his other senses. His scythe was designed to emit a vibration that Deidara could use while fighting to track his opponents movements and attack them anywhere using his newfound ability to see the chakra network by emitting a high pitched, whistling noise that was infused with his chakra. His severed arm had been replaced with a new one that greatly resembled a bat's claw and could be used as an effective block or a lethal weapon.

He was torn from his thoughts by a cracking noise. He whirled round to where the attacker was and threw a kunai into the space.

"Watch it you old bat! You nearly took my head off with that throw!" Zaku yelled at Deidara, his face contorted with a furious expression.

"Teach you to sneak up on me un." Deidara retorted with a smirk. Honestly that boy was as bad as Naruto with his unpredictable nature.

"Yeah well, I'd thought you would know it was me."

"My senses aren't on all the time you baka un!" Zaku shrugged his shoulders.

"Zaku."

"What?"

"We need to talk un." Zaku bit his lip. Not this again. He'd told the guys what he wanted them to know, why couldn't they be happy with that?

"About what?" Deidara growled.

"You know what. I heard you last night. This is the third time this month you've had a nightmare. Not to mention…"

"It's none of your fucking business!" Zaku cut in angrily.

"You can't keep it shut in un! It'll drive you insane!"

"I'm handling it! Why can't you get off my back, huh? I've told you what I can now just leave me alone!"

"Zaku!" But he had already gone. Deidara let loose a string of curses. This was just great. Now Zaku was going to be moody and unpredictable for Kami knows how long.

I've messed things up again. As usual.

"It would have been a lot worse if Kidomaru or Kimimaro had been the ones to try and convince him to open up. A fight would have most likely broken out." Yugito said as she emerged from the tree she had been perched in. She had followed Zaku at a distance to make sure that the kid didn't get himself in trouble. Seriously, him and Naruto were always getting themselves neck deep in some shit that she and the others had to pull them out of. Not surprisingly, she had heard every word of the argument between Zaku and Deidara.

"Yeah, but I still messed up." Deidara retorted, making Yugito scowl.

"For goodness sake, Deidara! Zaku would have reacted like that to any of us, including Isaribi! He just doesn't like talking about what he went through!" She shouted, fighting beck the urge to shake some sense into him. Why did he always think that he made things worse or didn't try hard enough? It annoyed her no end.

"Sorry, Yugito. I just…I don't want to fail again, un." And with that he shunshined away from here before she could even begin trying to find out what he meant.

One of these days, I am going to turn that boy into a chew toy!

She mentally growled to herself and punched a tree trunk, imagining that it was Deidara. Out of all the boys in the demon gang, he got on her nerves the most. Yet at the same time, he interested her them most. He was more sensitive and cautious than the other males, never getting into a fight unless he was sure that he would win. Though he could be as reckless and hot blooded as the rest of them, especially when he lost his temper. And like his younger brother and sister, he wasn't shallow either. Just when she though that she had gotten him sussed out, something happened to completely blow her back to square one. Not to mention that his belief that true beauty was fleeting and sudden was intriguing and seemed to fit with her own point of view. All in all he was one of the few people that she wanted gone, yet at the same time, couldn't imagine life without him.

Why the hell did my life have to get so fucking complicated?

Aw come on kitten. You know you'd be bored to tears otherwise.

I don't remember asking for your opinion Nibi!

Touche.

But Yugito ignored the cat demon as she stormed back to the others, her thoughts on how to mangle a certain snake and bat for getting her thoughts so muddled up so early in the morning.

I know there's not much exicitement in this chapter, but I got a review that asked me how some characters were here at all, so I felt that I owed an explanation.