Chapter 9

Disclaimer – I do not own Harry Potter

At the train station, the group stood with the Evans, the Potters, the McKinnons, Andromeda, and Regulus Black.

"So is this a thing now?" Sirius asks Andromeda as he gives his brother a piggy back ride. He runs off in a circle around the large group, Regulus giggling on his back, before he stops back where he was. Regulus stays on his back.

"Both your parents and mine like not having to be around so many…undesirable types. Now they don't have to."

"How do you keep convincing them to let Regulus come?"

"He's been a bit…excitable lately, all I did was offer to bring him with me," She replies, "I have to ask, how are you all getting along again? And how long is this one lasting?"

"We decided that being mean is something mean people do and being a mean person isn't good. So, now we're being nice."

"Because you're good people?" Regulus asks Remus, Remus nods, "So if I want to be a good person I just have to do what you guys do?"

"Being a good person is something everyone must decide how they do, but that doesn't mean you can't look up to people while you decide what it means to be good in your view," Euphemia tells the boy who concentrates hard for a moment before nodding.

"And now I understand," Andromeda says, Sirius smiles at her, "Come on Reg, we should get going."

"Bye Sirius, bye everyone."

"We'll see you later Little Marauder," James tells the kid as he ruffles his hair, Regulus giggles and shakes his head to fix his hair, it doesn't work.

"We should be off too," Mr Evans tells them, he hugs his daughter good bye, as does Lily's mother, and to everyone's surprise, Petunia does too.

"See you."

"All right, everyone be on your best behaviour, you're role models to the first years now, don't lead them astray," Euphemia tells the Marauders sternly.

"Yes Mum," They all chorus, she sighs and shakes her head with a happy smile.

"Don't forget the thing with the thing for the people," Monty tells them, they share a conspiratorial smile.

"Oh no…you've already planned the year's opening, haven't you?" Marlene asks with worry, Sirius smiles innocently.

"Let's just get on the train," Severus suggests, they all nod.

"Bye Mum, bye Dad," James says, hugging his parents.

When the lot of them fit themselves into a single compartment, Bellatrix sat on Remus' lap, Sirius on James', Alice on Marlene's, and Lily on Mary's.

"There had to be a better way to do this," Sirius complains, Bellatrix giggles.

"I'm comfortable." Sirius rolls his eyes when Remus grins at him.

"You can sit on the ground if you want," James tells him, he just huffs and leans back against the window, putting his feet up on Bellatrix's lap, Remus rolls his eyes at him.

"So, first meeting tonight?" Lily asks after pulling down the blind on the door window.

"Here's what's happening. For our two Slytherins, we're entrusting you with something that only us and my dad knows exists."

"Why does Monty know?" Peter asks.

"Where do you think I got it from? It's a family heirloom."

"Nice to know you were bred to be a sneaky git."

"Oh shut it Moony." Lily sighs at the both of them, "You're going to sneak up to Gryffindor tower, after curfew. Moony will hear you coming and let you in."

"How's he going to hear us coming?" Bellatrix asks.

"He's a freaking Werewolf dipshit, heightened senses."

"Don't call her a dipshit," Remus tells James with a glare, James holds back the eye roll.

"Sorry Bella, that was uncalled for. We'll sneak you two into our dorm where we will all be waiting. We can talk there."

"Doing this in Gryffindor tower seems very risky," Alice tells them, James nods.

"We don't disagree, but there's no way we get this amount of people elsewhere without getting caught. Not yet at least, we're working on it."

"All right, then we'll get to work tonight. How big is the moon going to be?" Mary asks Remus who seems uncomfortable, they've learnt that calling attention to it will only make it worse so they pretend not to notice.

"Full moon is in a week so you're looking at about 50%," He mumbles, trying to think clinically about it, "I still don't like this idea."

"Yes we know, it's embarrassing, you'll feel ridiculous, and vulnerable, possibly out of control, or possibly this is all a waste of time. Regardless, isn't it better you feel like that around us than someone who seeks to use it against you?" Severus asks him, Remus bites his lip, then sighs and nods. Sirius smirks, Remus looks over as he catches it out of the corner of his eye.

"What?"

"You're still cute when you do that." Remus blushes furiously.

"So now it's not just your friend, it's not just your cousin's boyfriend who is also your friend, and it's not just your cousin's boyfriend who's also your friend and in front of your cousin. It's now, your cousin's boyfriend who's also your friend and who has your cousin literally sat on his lap and beneath your feet while you flirt with him," Peter comments, Sirius winks at him, he rolls his eyes.

"Moving on!" Remus cries desperately.

Eventually they arrive at Hogwarts, Remus accidentally knocking into a first year as he exits the train and suddenly there's a bunch of first years on the ground and a Remus.

"Sorry!" He calls, standing up as quickly as he can and helping everyone up, "Um, the groundskeeper is over there, his name's Hagrid, he's super nice and he's going to be taking you to the school. You should hurry over."

"Thanks Sir, sorry we were in your way," One of the kids says as they all rush off.

"I'm a year older than them…why am I already a sir?" Remus asks as he turns and looks at the others who are all trying not to laugh.

"You're an old soul, and a mess," James tells him, throwing his arm over Remus' shoulders.

"Oh sod off you git." They head over to the carriages and realise they'll have to separate.

"You know, I think I'll go over into that carriage. I'll meet you guys outside the castle," Alice tells them before running off and getting the last seat in another of the carriages, Lily, Mary, and Marlene all laugh.

"What are we missing?"

"Frank Longbottom."

"Alice has a crush on him," Lily reveals as the other two giggle again.

"Why is everyone developing crushes except me? Is that normal?" Peter asks concerned, Sirius claps him on the back.

"Don't worry Mate, you'll get there. Not everyone can be twelve and practically married like this one," He says, gesturing behind him at Remus.

"Oh bite me."

"Kinky."

"Shut up."

"Make me."

"Now who's kinky."

"Will you two quit it?" James requests, "Honestly you two are the most homosexual straight people ever." Sirius' eyes just widen dramatically as he stops walking.

"Oh my god, James, could I be gay?" James facepalms.

"This is not the way I intended this conversation to go."

"Right, I'm going to go take a different carriage," Severus decides, getting onto one with some other Slytherins, Bellatrix electing to go with him. The rest hop onto a carriage, Sirius sitting on James' lap again.

"But seriously…"

"Sirius, I don't think you're gay."

"Why not?"

"You flirt with every girl you come across, one in particular lately."

"Sirius Black has a crush?" Lily asks with a teasing smile, she knew they meant Marlene but wanted him to admit it, unfortunately he was busy.

"I'm in the middle of a crisis Lily!" She sighs, Remus rolls his eyes.

"For Merlin's sake." He leans forward and snogs Sirius.

"I am so uncomfortable right now," James whispers from beneath Sirius, then Remus pulls back.

"Well?" Sirius gulps.

"I am not straight."

"That doesn't mean you can't like girls too," Mary points out, Sirius nods.

"True."

They all meet up outside the castle before walking towards the entrance.

"So Bella, your boyfriend kissed me," Sirius says casually, Severus, Bellatrix, and Alice all stopping in surprise.

"What did I miss?" Alice asks bewildered.

"Sirius was questioning his sexuality, I was just trying to help."

"I'm not sure he required your help that…passionately."

"It was not that passionate!"

"Moony, mate, he was on my lap. I saw more than I wanted to, it was pretty passionate."

"Says the guy who's never kissed anyone." James pokes his tongue out at him.

"Wait, you've never been kissed?" Lily asks him, James just shuffles awkwardly.

"So, what?"

"No, nothing you just, seem like someone who would have." James grins cockily at her.

"You offering, Evans?" Lily snorts.

"In your dreams, Potter." She says as she walks away, the group laughing at him as they all move inside. Severus smirks slightly, for once not seeming angry, though not exactly impressed with the turn of events. The group continues walking in, entering the castle before Alice says, rather loudly.

"I'm sorry, are we just going to forget the fact that Remy made out with Sirius!?"

"That is not what happened!" Remus insists as they enter the great hall. Bellatrix giggles manically as Severus leads her over to the Slytherin table, the others going to Gryffindor, Remus swallowing at everyone's stares. He's not sure if it's from Alice's loud exclamation, or the scars now on his face, but either way he doesn't like it.

"Then what did happen?" Alice asks innocently, Remus blushes, ignoring her in favour of food.

The group laugh at his expense, he doesn't mind.

"What's their take on us all getting along?" James asks Remus in a whisper as he jerks his head in the direction of the staff table. Remus brings his hearing forwards, wincing slightly before he channels it in their direction and blocks the rest out.

"-ake it last."

"Well you never know Horace, maybe the majority of our problems have been solved somehow."

"I imagine Mr Lupin and Miss Evans had something to do with it, wouldn't you say Minerva?"

"I think the others may surprise you." Remus grins at James.

"What?"

"Nothing much, Professor McGonagall has more faith in the group than Slughorn. Though he seems to like Lily and I." James scoffs.

"But I'm good at potions!"

"Yes, you're just a terrible student to attempt to teach."

"Oh Albus, I know you're concerned but really, things seem to have settled down again."

"My concern is less about the group as a whole, Minerva, I merely worry about the inclusion of Mr Snape and Miss Black."

"No Albus, you worry about Miss Black and Mr Lupin."

"Can you blame me?"

"If there is one thing I have learnt in the last year, it is that Remus Lupin can look after himself. Well, that and if something strange is occurring, Mr Potter and Mr Black probably have something to do with it. Besides, Bellatrix seems like a nice girl if you'll only look past her family. Look at the person Andromeda has grown up to be."

"Bellatrix is not her sister."

"And nor is she her parents, have a bit of faith Albus. I'm quite certain this group will be of good to her."

"We shall see." Remus let's his hearing drop into the back ground as Sirius grabs his arm from across the table.

"What?" Sirius looks from his to his hand and he realises he'd finished cutting the potato and was now just sawing aggressively into the plate below.

"Let's not break another, yeah?" Remus swallows and nods.

"What did they say?" James asks him to the confusion of the others who are now paying attention, Remus scowls.

"Dumbledore," He says, a rather obvious growl in his voice.

"I still don't understand why you hate him so much." Mary tells him, he sighs, attempting to breathe out his anger.

"Can we talk about this later?" Mary frowns.

"Tonight then." Remus nods.

"Tonight."

Hours later, at midnight, the Gryffindors of the group are all in the Marauder's dormitory when Remus rather suddenly stands up and leaves the room, returning a few moments later seemingly on his own. Then the other two take the cloak off, much to the shock of Alice, Marlene, Mary, and Lily.

"I will be questioning this with an intensity you cannot even imagine at some point, but for now, let's get this done before we all get expelled," Lily says quietly but ferociously, James smiles smugly.

"All right, now one of the things we're concerned about is if you might become too entranced by the moon. Sort of too caught up in whatever it makes you feel that you don't notice what's happening around you at all. Or worse, if that can't happen on its own but someone can sort of talk you into that state," Severus tells them quietly as he checks the list they wrote out.

"That should be easy to figure out, Moony, go look at the moon." Again Remus ducks his head in case his eyes change at all.

"…I don't want to." Everyone sighs, this wasn't going to be easy. They really wanted to be patient and kind with him but the older he got the more dangerous it was for him with the war going on, they needed these years at Hogwarts to figure out not only what vulnerabilities he may have, but also how to deal with them.

"Let's start there then. Why not?" Severus asks as he takes a seat on James' bed, across from Remus' where he sits. Everyone takes the hint and sits on one of those two beds or the floor in between. Bellatrix sitting between Remus' legs, facing Severus but leaning her head against Remus' knee so that she could still see him, his hand in her hair as hers squeezes his other knee comfortingly.

"Because it's embarrassing." Everyone seems surprised and confused by this answer.

"How so?"

"I-It's…intense. I don't know how to explain it, it's just like this pull towards the moon. One that calms me in a way I don't think any non-werewolf could understand. But I both fear and hate the moon and it shouldn't make me feel like that and losing myself like that it's…it's not something I like thinking about or acknowledging, let alone have other people see it." Everyone is silent for a moment before Bellatrix sits on her feet and turns to face Remus, grabbing both of his hands and looking him in the eyes.

"I know it isn't easy Remy, but there is a war on and they could make you play a part in it you don't want to." Remus thinks of everything that's happened with Dumbledore and clenches his jaw.

"What?"

"He's just thought of the Headmaster," Sirius replies before Remus can, Remus glares at him, he shrugs, "That's your 'I'm remembering my mysterious reason for hating the man' face."

"We'll talk about that later. Remy, please, go sit at the window and look at the moon. We aren't here to judge you or watch you do this, we're here to be with you and support you as you do," Bellatrix asks him, he looks at her again, sighs and drops his forehead to hers.

"Fine." Remus gets up and walks over to the window seat, not looking out of the window yet, he turns back to the others awkwardly as he bites his lip. Sirius moves to sit on one end of the seat, Bellatrix moving to the floor beside it as the others all move closer, being with him instead of observing as promised. Remus takes a deep breath as he sits and looks out at the sky, instantly finding the moon. The others can see the way the tensions seems to drain from his body as he leans back against the wall, pupils dilating more than they had the day in the Marauder's Lair.

"Remy?" Severus asks softly, Remus blinks before turning to look at him.

"Yes?" Severus hums thoughtfully.

"Okay, look at it, keep looking at it while I talk." Severus takes note of the fact that even though he hadn't been looking at the moon, he was still far quicker to comply than he had been before, "Now, Remy, can you hear me?"

"Yes Severus," Remus says in a way that the others think was him attempting to be snarky about it but it was drained out before he got the feeling into the words. Severus takes note of that too.

"Okay I'm going to ask you some questions that you won't want to answer just so that I can see how cognisant you are." Remus doesn't respond, staring at the moon that they can see reflected in his eyes, "Remus did you hear me?"

"Yep." Severus raises an eyebrow at Sirius who shrugs, Severus notes it down and continues on.

"All right, how old were you when you became a werewolf?"

"Four," He answers, his face pinching slightly, Severus makes a note.

"Who here have you told about that?"

"Just Peter, James, and Sirius."

"Why was my name last on the list?" Sirius complains before he can help himself, Remus breaks eye contact with the moon to look at Sirius, looking almost high as he smiles.

"I put you in ascending order of annoyance." Sirius glares at him.

"Just look at the moon." Remus laughs, closing his eyes for a second before opening them and looking back at the moon, sighing softly. Severus glares at Sirius even as he notes the entire interaction down.

"All right, how are you feeling right now Remy?" Severus asks, Remus' eyes bizarrely fill with tears.

"Calm," He whispers as the tears spill over, Severus frowns.

"Then why are you crying?" Remus frowns, the calmness disappearing but the intensity of his gaze at the moon never wavering.

"A Werewolf is never calm," He says as quietly as before.

"Why is that?"

"Because it isn't free." Everyone seems confused except Severus who's eyes light up in sudden understanding.

"Oh," He comments, staring at Remus in wonder, almost awe.

"What?" Sirius asks Severus, attempting to keep his voice calm and soft as Severus' had been. Severus smiles slightly as he looks to Sirius.

"A Werewolf is never calm."

"Yes, that's what he said."

"He didn't mean the human form, he meant the wolf. See the mind of the wolf is always present for him, just not in control. It isn't free and by the sounds of things it doesn't like that. Remus hates the moon because of what it represents to him, but to the wolf inside, it represents freedom hence the feeling of calm. He's crying from relief because for once outside of a full moon, and maybe even in it, the wolf is calm." He starts writing furiously, ideas presenting themselves in his mind in no particular order of ways this could be utilised, "All right, next question. Who bit you?" Remus' face answers the question, the same dark, dangerous, and sad look over taking it that they had seen once before.

"Fenrir Greyback."

"How do you feel?"

"Angry Severus, I feel angry." Severus merely takes note of it, and of the growl clear in Remus' voice.

"I think we'll leave this line of questioning for when we're better set up. Let the anger go Remus," Severus tells him softly, unsurprised but disappointed to see the anger simply drain away from the boy, leaving only he and the moon.

"Remy, what's your happiest memory?" Remus is quiet for a moment before he smiles.

"When we got back here after we broke into the restricted section."

"That was you?!" Lily whisper yells as every non-marauder save for Severus laughs quietly.

"Lily, be quiet, we're getting somewhere," Severus tells her distractedly as he focuses on Remus, Lily does not look impressed at his complete dismissal of her, but goes quiet.

"Why is that your happiest memory? You literally had nightmares about what we found down there, we both did," Sirius asks bewildered, Severus glares at him but does look interested.

"Because we made it back." Severus seems confused, as do others. But Marlene, and the other Marauders understood.

"It's the wave of euphoria that gets you after you get away with something that intense," Marlene explains with a grin shared by the other three.

"Okay, what about saddest. What's your saddest memory?"

"The day after my first full moon."

"What happened?"

"They afraid of me. I was five and they were afraid of me, she was afraid of me. I…I did something bad and when she looked at me, she only saw a monster," Remus says, crying for another reason, the others mistakenly believe he means his Mother.

"Let the sadness go now Remus," Severus tells him, Remus shakes his head as he starts crying more.

"I can't." Everyone looks to Severus for direction, but he gestures for them to stay still.

"Remus, calm down," He tells the boy calmly, it takes a moment, but Remus calms. The tears finish falling and lay forgotten on his face as he slumps against the wall and the window, staring at the moon as if it were a lifeline to this calmness so sought after. Severus notes it all down, "Tell me about James Potter." Remus chuckles.

"I don't know whether to be offended or flattered," James mutters.

"Flattered," Remus says, James' eyes widen at getting a response.

"Go on," Severus tells him.

"He's one of the best friends I ever had, and if he hadn't insisted on talking to me, if he hadn't called me over to his boat, I doubt I'd have friends at all. Except Emmeline, but that's different, I've known her for years." The others look surprised, none had known he and Emmeline Vance had even spoken before.

"What else?"

"He's a good person. He's privileged and arrogant and sometimes just has no idea, but he tries so hard to be nice and good that it's easy to see past and just accept it all as part of who he is." James tilts his head to the side but nods.

"I can live with that," He says, Lily shakes her head at him as Severus rolls his eyes.

"What do you think of Albus Dumbledore?" The effect is immediate, the growl that emanates from his throat and the feral look in his eyes, no longer glazed by the moon.

"I think that he's a manipulative git, who needs to back. Off." Remus says, Sirius can't help but gulp slightly, being the person with the clearest view of Remus' face.

"What…"

"Wait, he doesn't want us to know," Alice tells him, Severus nods calmly.

"I know, that's why I need to ask. We need to know how likely he is to give information away that he doesn't want to while in this state." Alice sighs but allows him to continue, "What did Dumbledore do to you?" Tension radiates from Remus' body, something weird that Sirius has never seen before coming over his eyes.

"Nothing." The word coming out of his mouth but Sirius isn't sure he's even really aware anymore, all Sirius knows for sure is that this has gone far enough.

"Moony?" Sirius asks as he reaches forward, placing a hand on his arm. It happens quickly, Remus looking away from the window and to him, the animalistic rage on his face causing Sirius to back up on the seat so quickly he bangs his head on the wall behind him. Remus growls at him and Sirius knows, he knows this isn't Remus.

They've inadvertently awakened the wolf.

"Remus?" Sirius asks in a frightened whisper, unable to tear his eyes away long enough to see if the others have realised. Remus moves, standing up quickly, looking completely different than how he should despite his only physical change being his eyes.

"Remy?" Bellatrix asks, moving to stand in front of him, reaching a hand out to his cheek. He seems confused by the action, sniffing slightly before he nuzzles into the hand, "Sirius, move back with the others," She tells him without moving her eyes from her boyfriend's. It's then that Sirius sees everyone standing by the door, he gets up, moving as slowly as possible, freezing when Remus turns to him, growling. Sirius' mind works quickly, trying to think of what to do or say or how quickly he can possibly run. All that goes through his head is Bellatrix talking about being Remus' mate. Think in wolf terms.

"Wait, Remy please, we're friends, family even. You adopted my brother, remember?" Sirius asks, the Werewolf doesn't respond, sneering at him as he growls and continues advancing, blocking Sirius' exit. "We're your…pack." The wolf stops, "We're your pack, we live as one. You don't want to hurt me Remus. I know you don't," Sirius reasons, the wolf walks forward, but Sirius doesn't feel threatened, holding a hand out to stop Bellatrix interfering. Remus sniffs at him, then he makes some sort of questioning whimper that melts Sirius' heart because it's simply the most adorable thing he's ever heard. Tears fill his eyes as he smiles, no longer afraid. Now he understands, "That's right, I won't hurt you Remus," Sirius says, reaching out a hand slowly. Sirius can see the others out the corner of his eye and knows they are confused, but Sirius knows what he's doing, "I understand now Moony, I know what you are. Now you need to know what we are." His hand reaches his friend's head, Remus leans into it. Sirius sits slowly on the ground, gesturing for Remus to join him. He does so, Sirius petting his hair lightly. The little wolf before him nuzzles into his hand as he yawns, "Lay down little one. You're safe here." Remus doesn't understand him so he makes gestures and pushes lightly until the boy curls up on the ground with his head on Sirius' lap and Sirius running his hand through his hair. Not long later, he falls asleep, Sirius smiling down at the beautiful creature that so many fear.

He deserves better

"What just happened?" Lily asks from where she is hiding behind Severus who has his hands out as though trying to bracket her behind him to protect her, James in front of them both in a protective stance with his wand out. Sirius looks at them, happiness and laughter clear on his face.

"He was confused, he doesn't know any better. He was afraid and everyone reacts with fear. But he's a child, he's just a pup. He needs to be looked after and taught just like his human half does. He was trying to protect himself because he didn't know he was safe. He needs guidance, I don't think he remembers Remus' life as Remy does the wolf. He doesn't understand the world around him. Only that Bellatrix loves him and he her, and that I won't harm him." Everyone's silent for a few moments, Severus making more notes.

"So…have we adopted a werewolf pup now?" James asks him as he puts his wand away and everyone relaxes.

"Well we'll have to introduce you all individually at some point but…he needs someone or he'll end up like all the others who have only ever known hatred and fear," He tells them, "Like I would have ended up just like my parents if Remus hadn't convinced me I was already different." James sighs but nods.

"He's your responsibility." Sirius glares at him as James breaks out into a grin.

"Perhaps we should introduce ourselves in the same way Sirius did rather than on a full moon when he has the body of a werewolf to back him up," Severus muses, the others agree, "For now I think Bella and I should head back and the girls head to bed. Best he not wake up feeling threatened in case it isn't quite him that wakes up."

"What do we do if it isn't him?" Peter asks, "I mean what if we just trapped Remus in the mind of the wolf forever?"

"We'll work it out then Pete," Sirius tells him, they all leave save for the Marauders who decide to remain on the floor around Remus for the rest of the night, not that Sirius had much of an option with the young wolf asleep on him.

"Remus?" Remus feels a hand stroking through his hair and leans into it slightly.

"I'm not sure that's a good sign," Another voice says, Remus frowns, he knows these voices. Remus opens his eyes slightly and sees James and Peter watching him, he blinks against the light as he hears James sigh in relief, "It's him." Remus looks up to see who he's talking to and sees it's the owner of the hand, Sirius. Remus decides it's too hard to deal with this and turns his head back, closing his eyes and leaning into the hand again, Sirius chuckles.

"Remy, we gotta get up and go to breakfast." Remus groans as he scrunches his face up at that idea.

"Okay that was adorable."

"Remus, come on, up time." Remus whines, "Nope, up." Remus groans but starts getting up, Sirius chuckling at him again as he sits up, stretching with a level of grace they've never seen in him before. Remus opens his eyes to find all three frowning at him. He tilts his head to the side in question as he blinks, "Remus?" He makes an affirmative sort of noise, but that only worries them more, "Going to need a verbal response there buddy." Now Remus frowns, mostly trying to think of the words he needs.

"What's…wrong?" He asks slowly, the three instantly sagging in relief, a grin breaking out across Sirius' face.

"We'll explain after breakfast, it's been a long night and I need the sugar provided in juice." Remus shrugs and gets up in one long and languid movement. All four get up and dressed before they head downstairs, the last to leave the tower.

When they get to breakfast they take seats on the Gryffindor table, Remus immediately grabbing food in front of him, barely even checking what that food is before he starts eating.

"He's fine…mostly," He hears Sirius say to someone, he doesn't check who.

A while later he feels a hand on his arm, looking over he finds Lily smiling kindly at him.

"How do you feel Remus?" He blinks, tilting his head to the side in confusion as he finishes his mouthful, wiping his mouth before responding.

"Tired. And hungry," He replies, "How do…you…feel?" He asks slowly as he picks his words. She smiles again, still kind but also relieved yet worried.

"I'm fine thank you." He takes that as the end of the conversation and continues eating, "Okay somehow that was completely adorable."

"We've been thinking that all morning but don't know what it is yet."

After a while, Remus finishes eating and sits back in his chair, taking in his surroundings for the first time. He blinks a few times before a frown slowly descends on his face.

"Remy?" Marlene asks, Remus turns to her, "What's wrong?" He gapes at her.

"What's wrong? What's right?!" He asks quiet but fierce, the others look at him confused, "Am I the only one who remembers what happened? For Merlin's sake!"

"To be honest Remy, we really weren't sure you remembered until right now," James tells him, he seems surprised, "Think back over this morning Remus, does anything seem off?" Remus does so and then shrugs.

"I was a little slow to wake up?"

"Guys, we'll talk about it later. You seem okay now so let's just get through class and we'll meet under the tree at break," Sirius tells them, Remus scoffs at him.

"You say that like we don't have classes together until then."

"All right, whatever, I just mean we'll talk about it then."

"Fine," Remus replies exasperatedly, Sirius just looks confused but Remus has stopped caring.

Their first lesson is transfiguration, they were all looking forward to it, but now most were concerned. Remus wasn't, Remus had taken Bellatrix by the hand outside of the hall and lead her in the wrong direction. Naturally the others had followed to find Remus snogging her in the empty hallway, Bellatrix pushes him away.

"Remy what's going on?"

"What do you mean?" He asks confused as he plays with a piece of her hair, the others step closer and Bellatrix looks relieved.

"Remy?" Sirius asks when the group turns to him to take the lead.

"Hmm?" Remus responds disinterestedly.

"We have to go to class."

"It can wait," He says moving to kiss Bellatrix again, she leans back, putting a hand in between them.

"No it can't."

"But I missed you Trixie!" He insists, she sighs, placing her hand on his chest.

"I missed you too, but we've got to get to class." He sighs looking unhappy, but he steps away.

"Fine," He says with slumped shoulders as he takes her hand to keep her close to him, everyone exchanges worried looks, "What? You all wanted to get to class so bad, let's go!" Remus tells them sounding extremely annoyed as he rolls his eyes and takes off towards the classroom, Bellatrix being tugged along, everyone moving to catch up.

When they finally make it to class, they enter last. Remus had dropped Bellatrix's arm halfway to the classroom, instead stopping to look at every second painting on the wall before being pushed forwards by one of them. Now he just walks in and takes a seat as if he doesn't have a care in the world and is behaving perfectly naturally.

"And why are you all late?" Professor McGonagall asks, Sirius steps forward to deal with it as the others all move to take a seat in the back with Remus.

"Well Minnie, you see what happened was…"

"Just take a seat," She tells him, he grins.

"Yes Ma'am," He says with a salute before he takes his seat, sitting down a tad louder than necessary when he sees Remy doodling on his page, "Sorry," He says, but Remus has snapped back to the classroom and so he's not really.

"Now, as I was saying, today we are turning animals into water goblets. You're to point your wand to the animal in question, tap it three times, and say vera verto." Everyone get's their wands out, but Remus raises his hand, the others freeze before exchanging worried looks as McGonagall sees it.

"Yes, Mr Lupin?"

"How do we turn them back afterwards?" She seems confused, "I just don't want to turn an animal into anything unless I know there's a way to turn them back." She sighs but nods.

"I will be teaching the class that after you've succeeded in this. If someone should fail to do it correctly I will turn the animal back myself, you have my word." He nods.

"Okay." He pulls his wand out and completely ignores McGonagall as though they hadn't spoken, she frowns but after catching sight of Sirius' innocent smile, decides she doesn't want to know until she has to and walks off.

Remus just ends up dragging the tip of his wand across the desk and lazily following it with his eyes. The others do their work, Sirius getting it immediately as he always does with Transfig and Defence Against the Dark Arts, often charms too. Really, it's just potions that he struggles with, in herbology and history of magic he's the same as everyone else.

"Remy?" Peter asks ten minutes later when Remus still hasn't done anything, he makes a questioning noise that sort of more just acknowledges that the boy has spoken rather than showing he's actually been listening, "Could you help me with this?"

"Sure thing Pete." Remus gets up and walks over to Peter, bringing the mouse he's got with him and placing it next to Peter's toad. Remus taps it three times, "Vera Verto." And it works perfectly.

"How did you do that?" Sure, Peter had only asked for help because he'd been trying to get Remus to engage in something, but now he was impressed. Remus shrugs.

"It's just like with the match and the needle, so for you, just imagine there is a water goblet there, imagine the toad already is a water goblet." Peter clears his throat and does so, it works. Remus tilts his head to the side questioningly, "You didn't need my help did you?" Peter flushes slightly.

"What did you mean when you said 'for me'. Doesn't everyone do the same thing?" Peter asks, side-stepping the question, Remus seems to have already forgotten he'd asked.

"Of course not. Everyone does things differently, even when doing the same thing. It's the thought process that changes, so in magic, which is largely thought controlled, what works for one will not work for another. In transfiguration you seem to need to imagine it already done, whereas I imagine the change it under goes and feel it happen along with whatever I'm transfiguring," Remus explains, Peter looks thoughtful at the words.

"An astute observation Mr Lupin, and well put. Ten points to Gryffindor."

"Thank you, Professor," Remus says with a proud smile, McGonagall seems happy with that, probably because it's the first time in a year she's given him points and he hasn't given her reasons why he hasn't really earned them. In fact he seems to believe he did, which is true, but odd.

After that lesson is History of Magic, Remus doesn't take to the separation from Bellatrix well.

"No, Remy, you have to go the other way," Bellatrix tells him sternly as the others stand back and laugh, they had time to do this for at least a full minute before they needed to intervene.

"But I don't want to go the other way," Remus replies, crossing his arms over his chest, Bellatrix glares at him.

"Remus John Lupin you will go to your History of Magic class or so help me god I will tell your mother, and his, that you kissed Sirius!" Bellatrix threatens, pointing to James at the appropriate moment, the others chuckle at that before Sirius groans.

"But I was going to do that anywayyyyy, well, maybe not to Hope…no yes to Hope."

"All right then, I'll tell Reg." Everyone backs up a step, Bellatrix raises an eyebrow at her boyfriend who huffs.

"Fine then," He mutters, stomping off in the other direction, Bellatrix sighs and she drops her head into her hands, carefully being sure she doesn't drop the books she's holding.

"Okay, tree at break?" She double checks, the others nod, "Keep an eye on him."

History of magic was…interesting. It had started with Remus not paying any attention and losing them five points, it ended with Remus arguing with the Professor Binns over historical fact, losing them ten points, he then stomps out of the classroom, losing them fifteen. He goes to the library, borrows a book, finds the page he wants as he stalks back to class, opens it in front of the Professor and points to exactly what he was saying.

"All right, it appears you may have been correct after all."

"Don't suppose I can get those points back then?" Professor Binns glares at him as all the Gryffindors in the room groan.

"Ten points from Gryffindor, and get out of my classroom."

"Well it's not like we're learning anything correctly here anyway," Remus mutters as he grabs his stuff and leaves again.

"Damn but I hope he either goes to find Bella or goes straight to the tree," Alice tells them with a grimace.

"Am I going to continue having trouble with Gryffindors today?" Professor Binns asks, looking at Alice who freezes up but shakes her head.

"No Professor," Alice internally thanks Merlin that there's only five minutes left of class.

They head straight to the tree by the lake when they get out of class, they find Remus stroking the tentacle of the giant squid.

"Remy?" Bellatrix calls, the group had caught her and Severus up on events while they walked down having met them at the door of the castle.

"Hey Trixie," Remus calls happily, "Bye," He says to the water before rushing over, picking Bellatrix up and spinning her around making her squeal before putting her back down and holding her close, she laughs in surprise for a moment.

"Okay what is going on?!" Lily asks, throwing her bag onto the ground in frustration, "First you're all weird and then you're fine and now you're jumping between things so quick and you're just being unpredictably damn weird and IT'S NOT EVEN FUNNY ANYMORE, OH MY GOD REMUS, TELL ME, PLEASE, BECAUSE FOR GOD'S SAKE I AM SO SCARED WE'VE COMPLETELY BROKEN YOU AND YOU'VE LOST THE PLOT SOMEHOW!" She all but screams, Remus stares at her in shock.

"Um…sorry."

"You-what?" Lily asks, that was not at all what she was expecting, Remus shuffles from foot to foot awkwardly.

"I just, um…I'm not use to it yet, I guess, and things are…weird. I-I'll-I'll work on it, I swear," He tells her, still fidgeting.

"Remus, we aren't mad, we just want to understand what's happening," James tells him calmly, he takes a deep breath.

"Right, um. Why don't we sit down?" They all sit exactly where they were, "Here works I guess," He says, joining them, "I suppose I should start with telling you I remember everything that happened last night, sorry about scaring everyone," He says the last part while biting his lip.

"Don't worry about it, we didn't understand what was going on, that's not your fault," Mary tells him, he smiles shyly.

"So, umm, see the things is, I'm calmer now. Or…I guess it's not that it's just…" He bites his lip again, "Okay so, it's like my brain was in two halves, kind of, but they were warring. One wanting to get control because it was afraid for itself, the other afraid for everyone else. Only now, the wolf knows it's safe when Sirius and Bellatrix are around, and I know who and what it is. We both know what we're dealing with so there's no fear anymore. Not as much anyway. But I guess I didn't realise how much I was blocking myself off from other things by doing this, now the two halves of me are more…harmonised I guess, sort of just happy to co-exist peacefully and everything I wasn't feeling is just flooding through and I don't remember how to deal with it. That and I'm feeling the wolf's instincts more strongly now." The others digest that before Lily launches herself forward, hugging him.

"I WAS SO DAMN SCARED WE LOST YOU AND THIS WAS A GOOD THING THE ENTIRE TIME?! COULD YOU NOT HAVE MENTIONED THIS EARLIER?!" She demands, her voice a mix of anger, relief, and happiness.

"I didn't even really realise I was behaving differently. I still don't really see that I'm acting weirdly thinking back on the day, but I guess you guys would know better than me right now so…" Bellatrix drops her forehead on his shoulder in relief, "What did I do, specifically, that was so off?"

"Well it started when you woke up and decided having Sirius stroke your hair was more important than anything. Then there was breakfast in which you ate everything within reach and responded only when someone specifically got your attention. Then we had to drag you to class, any of this ringing any bells?"

"Yes, I remember the day Sirius, it just seems normal to me."

"Have you ever in your life behaved this way?" Remus opens his mouth to reply, but then he closes it, "I realise it might seem perfectly natural at the time, but you're being weird and people are noticing, people other than us. That could be bad Remy."

"Why are you doing that?"

"Doing what?"

"Calling me Remy now."

"Because we adopted Moony and I mentally separated the two of you. Now that I'm going to be interacting with both sides of you, and we'd all be talking about it, I figured we should know which we are talking about."

"That makes sense I guess."

"Okay, now that we all know what's happening, we can deal with it. Remy, just, stop arguing with us until you get back on even footing, okay? You've already lost Gryffindor forty points in one lesson," Alice tells him sternly, he looks annoyed at the comment but says nothing.

"Great, can we talk about last night now?" James asks, "Because I have been tripping out about it all day."

"It certainly wasn't what I was expecting to happen," Remus mutters, most nod, Severus doesn't.

"It all went pretty much as I expected. I theorised about bringing out the wolf though it wasn't something I planned on testing last night. I also didn't expect anything of what happened after that. But we learnt many things last night, most interesting, not all are good. First and foremost, you're a lot more likely to answer questions when in that state. If Moony hadn't taken over, I've little doubt you would have answered the question."

"Good thing I'm not actually in this damn war and therefore know nothing of value."

"Don't you? I mean, you know more about Dumbledore than a lot of the people following him do I'd bet. Surely that alone could be used somehow, you know about Werewolves joining whatever-his-name-is. Now you know that it's possible to tame a Werewolf, that's not information we want getting out. To be honest, how you all live now is probably better than what would happen should someone like him do what Sirius did. Plus, you have ins with two branches of the Black family, and with Slytherin house which opens up doorways like getting information that Lucius Malfoy overheard. Plus, a whole bunch of people are still afraid of getting on your bad side. Being a Werewolf makes you valuable in many people eyes, getting any kind of control or influence over you would be worth a lot I'm sure," Lily tells him, he just sort of blinks at her.

"Well besides that." She sighs at him, "He's not going to be paying attention to a school boy, Lily!"

"Remy, more than that, who knows how far this could go. What if they can get partial control of you in that trance-like state, what if they learn to recreate it in other circumstances. We need to know," Bellatrix tells him, he groans and buries his face in her hair.

"I don't love the idea of you guys having control over me either you know."

"Who's the better option, us, or Dumbledore and he-who-must-not-be-named getting a crack at it?" Severus asks, Remus sits up and glares at him but doesn't argue. Bellatrix squeezes his hand, smiling at him when he looks over, he smiles back. He kisses her sweetly for a moment too long, Sirius grabbing the back of his shirt and pulling him back.

"Hey!"

"Behaving normally Remus."

"What, I can't kiss my girlfriend?"

"Very rarely, not like that, and generally not in front of other people," Sirius tells him, Remus glares at him icily. "Oh calm down, I'm doing this for your sake."

"Really? Because it seems like all you guys care about is what other people think and me losing us the damn house cup!"

"Remy calm down," James tells him off-handedly, this has the opposite effect from what he was aiming at. The others realise this, Lily glaring at James while Bellatrix kisses Remus again to distract him. The two kiss for a bit before she pulls back.

"Better?" She asks, he grins at her, leaning his forehead against hers.

"Much."