Chapter 9

The late afternoon weather was nice, a pleasant seventy something degree day, light breeze coming off the ocean, and if not for the uncertainty that lie before them, Scully would have been a very happy. She leaned back into Mulder who had his arms wrapped around her and was holding her quietly as the gazed at the ocean that was a short walk from their house on the outskirts of Schooner Bay.

"Penny for your thoughts," Mulder whispered into her ear.

She sighed but said nothing.

"That's not an answer."

"I don't know what to think. I mean, it's really not our decision is it?"

"No, I guess not. But one way or another we do have Danny back and that's a good thing."

"Yes, it is." She turned around within his arms to look into his eyes. "Do we really have any say in this decision when it is so personal to Carolyn and Daniel?"

"I don't know," he brushed her cheek softly with his fingertips, "Maybe not."

"What's your opinion? Given the choice do you want to stay like this and start over or go back to what we had before the Captain disappeared?"

Mulder snorted in amusement. "You mean old and decrepit?"

Scully laughed. "But we were finally happy. I was, weren't you? I thought you were?" She searched his face.

"Scully as long as I have you, and since we got Will back, I couldn't ask for anything more, really. You two are the most important people in my life. I thought you knew that?"

"I do, really I do, but…"

"It's tempting to stay like this, to start over and have the life we would have had if we had not been so slow to give in to each other."

"Yes, that.'

"Scully I'd love that, but as you said it's a more highly personal decision for Danny and Carolyn."

"I agree, I think we need to go along with whatever they decide. But I'd love to start over with you, Mulder."

He grinned at her wolfishly. "Well, we are this age until tomorrow…"

"But we promised that we wouldn't…"

"You really have no interest in knowing what it would have been like if we had conjoined much, much earlier in our relationship?" He pulled her close and began to nibble on her neck.

"Mulder!" She squirmed as he bit a sensitive spot, and then giggled.

"We never did do it in our office."

"No, no we didn't." Scully paused and then blew into his ear sending shivers of anticipation rushing through him. "We do have an office in our new house…"

"Oh, honey, let's go!" He grabbed her hand and began to lead her back to their home as fast as her little legs could go.

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The evening was truly lovely, Candy thought as she looked off the porch of Gull Cottage. She looked away from the ocean as her brother arrived with two glasses and a bottle of whiskey, she raised an eyebrow.

"I thought we needed something stronger than soda, tea, or coffee."

"Good choice," Candy favored him with a smile.

He poured them both a liberal glass and then they sat back, enjoying their long-established camaraderie.

"How are you feeling, Jon?"

"Do you mean physically or emotionally?" He gave her a wry smile that reminded her of the Captain.

"You're very like him, you know?"

"Thanks, Sis. I'll take that as a compliment."

"It is."

They sipped their drink and were quiet for a bit.

"What do you want to do, Jon?"

Jonathan laughed, a deep helpless laugh. "I want to be born, I want to grow up with Mom and the Captain as my parents."

"For real?" Candy smiled.

"Why not? In every way that ever counted he is my Dad. You know that."

"Do you remember anything of our father, Bobby Muir?"

"No, sorry, Sis, but not really." He grimaced. "I know he means more to you than me, he always has. I guess that's because you remember him."

"What do you remember?"

Jonathan closed his eyes and concentrated. "I remember two things. Riding around on his shoulders and laughing because he threw me in the air."

"And the other?" Her now blue eyes regarded her brother with the intense gaze of the Captain.

"The other is not a good one. I remember playing with my toys and it was noisy. You were scared, and Mom and Dad were yelling at each other. Seeing you scared was hard…"

"I remember that, you began to cry…"

"Well, I was what? Three?"

"I think."

"I was always kind of scared of him after that."

"Sorry, Jon. I didn't mean to add to it."

"You were a kid too, Candy. You have nothing to apologize for." Jonathan finished his drink, enjoying the warmth that trickled down his throat. "That's really good. Dad always did have good liquor around here."

Now Candy snorted in amusement. "Which explains why you got drunk more than once on it!"

"Yeah, until I did it the night before we went sailing with him. I was so sick!" He laughed. "Maybe the Captain was right, maybe I deserved it."

"He's really smart, even though we didn't believe it growing up."

"Does any kid think their parents know better? Do your kids? Do my kids?" He shook his head. "It's normal not to believe your folks."

Candy got up and poured them both another round before looking back at her brother. "What do you want to do?"

"I want him to go back and seduce Mom. I want to be his actual son. In every way but that I am."

"I know…"

'But?"

"But is it right? Is it right to redo our history and erase Bobby Muir from it?"

"I dunno. I never gave him much thought. See, I think that part of things is up to you. Are you okay with the change? Can you accept being the Captain's daughter?"

"So melodramatic! Sounds like the title to a romance novel."

Jonathan laughed and took another sip of his drink. "I guess it does. But seriously, Candy. You remember more than I do."

"Yeah, our father was kind of a mystery to me too. I was older than you but not by much. He was good at first, and I remember riding around on his shoulders just like you do. He played tea with me once. I remember having breakfast with him and Mom. I didn't know what was going on, but they didn't always talk much. And when Mom was pregnant with you he was gone a lot. Mom said he was working, and she's never told me different, probably doesn't want to tarnish my image of him any more than it already is, but now I wonder."

"Why haven't you asked her? We're all adults now."

"I guess I figured if she wanted me to know she would tell me, so I didn't push it."

"Huh, okay."

"Would you have wanted to grow up anywhere else, Candy? I mean, even having a ghost as our father figure?

"No, I can't imagine it." She paused and laid a hand on her brother's arm and waited for him to look at her again. "He's my dad too you know? At least he was once I got past being mad at everyone for not telling me he was here that first year."

"Oh, you still upset about that?" Jonathan laughed again.

"Nah, I got over it."

"What do you want, Candy? Do you want everything back to the way it was? Or do you want things to be the way they are now?" Her brother's eyes glittered with happiness. "He's alive, Sis. Really truly alive. Mom and Dad can finally have a real life together! And their friends Mulder and Scully have a chance to start over too. That's a great gift and I think they all deserve it."

"And you're okay with being his son?"

"More than all right," he beamed at his sister. "You?

"Yeah, I guess. He's special. But the things we remember for growing up will be different. You know that, right?"

"Yeah, it will be interesting as hell, and probably harder for Mom until we get to Gull Cottage, but I'm okay with it."

Candy took a deep breath and nodded. "Then let's tell them to go ahead. Let's tell Dad that he needs to go back and seduce Mom so that you can be my brother. Again."

"That's my Sis," Jonathan said and pulled her to him hugging her tight.

"I still can't believe you got that tall," she said when he released her.

"Well, we'll see how tall I am later. I wonder what I'll look like?" He mused, his voice eager.

"Doesn't matter, you'll still be my bratty brother."

"Damn straight." He sighed. "How's William?"

"Still asleep. I can hardly believe what he can do, it's amazing."

"You'll have time to talk to him and Mulder later." Jonathan grinned to himself.

"What are you grinning about?"

"Do you really believe they went home for a change of clothing and a shower?"

"Sure, why not?" Candy bit her lip at looked at her brother's grinning face. "Oh, they wouldn't. Not when they were told not too..."

"It's Fox, and we don't know him as well as Mom and Dad, but I bet he doesn't always play by the rules."

"I can't argue that. I wonder if that will change things?" Candy asked.

"I guess we'll find out tomorrow morning. I doubt we'll see them before then."

The two of them laughed and poured another drink as they sat down once again and quietly enjoyed the day.

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Bent over the desk, Scully let out a long low moan as she rode out the wave of her orgasm. A bit of bad language ensued as he came after her, her name laced with profanities and deep reverence. Collapsed over her, they panted at their exertions. Then with a kiss to the back of her neck, he helped her to straighten up. She turned around into his arms and they wordlessly kissed one another, exchanging tenderness with their soft exchanges, lips gently touching and exploring.

"God, I love you," he whispered in her ear.

"I love you too," she laid her hand on his cheek.

"That was…amazing. Why the hell did we wait so long to do this?"

"You know. But maybe we shouldn't have."

"Do you think?" He laughed, pulled her close and kissed her forehead. "We should have used that office," he said wistfully.

"And have it smell like sex all the time?" She snorted. "The X-files and our life would have been very different. Besides you weren't ready for this back then. Hot sex, maybe, but a commitment?"

"And you were?" He questioned her.

"Maybe not, probably not." She laughed. "I guess everything went the way it was supposed to for us."

"Maybe, but it's fun to wonder."

"It is, and I did. I had fantasies too, you know?"

"Ohh, Scully. Care to share?" He pushed against her and she felt him half hard once again. She raised an eyebrow in surprise. "Mulder?"

"Umm, I guess I didn't tell you that I have an unusually short refractory period, especially when I was younger. And I'm younger…" he leered at her.

"Mulder, we agreed to not do this at all."

"Right now, it's kind of like closing the barn door after the horse is out." He turned her around and started marching her out of the home office.

"Where are we going?"

"Upstairs, to the bedroom."

"Mulder?"

"Scully, I'm going to canoodle the hell out of you…" he slammed the bedroom door shut behind him.

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The Captain sat on the wingchair in the Master Suite while Carolyn sat on the loveseat they stared at each other in silence, not sure what to say.

"Why didn't you tell me?" The Captain said, breaking the silence.

"I didn't know in the here and now. Apparently, the memories of the timeline change take a bit to catch up."

"Carolyn?"

"Really, it's true. When Sucellos told me to tell you what happened, it all clarified in my mind. Until that moment it was like a dream, wild imaginings. I couldn't even contemplate it was true until…"

"Candy," he sighed.

"Yes." She studied the face of her husband. "Are you upset that she is your child?"

"Oh, no, never. You know better than that." He paused. "It was the way it happened. The fact that I was some place I was not supposed to be and then I took advantage of you."

Carolyn raised an eyebrow in some amusement. "You have no memory of making love to me? Twice I may add. I obviously knew what I was doing when we…coupled…but you still it's your fault for taking advantage of me?"

"Yes."

"You are a stubborn, mule headed man, you know that don't you?" Her eyes narrowed as she looked at him.

"As you tell me from time to time. I often pay you the same compliment," he said in a monotone.

"Stop beating yourself up and stop feeling guilty for something you have no control over. It's not your fault. Let's go on from here and decide what is the best thing to do."

"Agreed," he said with a long sigh and she looked into his sad blue eyes. "But Carolyn, I have to ask, I was a stranger to you, how could you…have made love to me?"

"Because you are you, my heart must somehow have known that. My body sure seemed to," she said with a smirk and Daniel dropped his head and blushed.

"And what happened to Bobby?"

"He continued asking me to marry him, and I thought about it, really I did. I didn't look forward to being a single mother as there was still a lot of bad stigma attached to it at that time. I was with him once after you, within a month after you left. I found out I was pregnant days after that, so I knew it wasn't Bobby's child, but it was yours. The mysterious man that had captured my heart and left only a strange note behind for me." She leaned back against the loveseat. "I could have married him and tried to pass the baby off as his, tried to live that life with him, maybe even have more children with him." She frowned. "But after being with you, even for such a short time, it was easier for me to see his faults. And I just couldn't settle into that life with him."

"So, you went on to life as a single mother."

"Yeah, and it was hard. My parents were horribly disappointed in me, my father especially, but they did their best to understand and support me. It helped when I actually had the baby and they had their granddaughter around. Once she was old enough I found a job at a local newspaper, and it was tough to raise a baby and hold down a job. Things just went along until I found Gull Cottage was available and then I rented it out and met you. But you were not the man that I fell in love with, at least not yet."

"Was I difficult?"

"Do you even have to ask?" She laughed at him and he chuckled.

"But we found our way through it and we fell in love with each other and you became a father to her."

"But no Jonathan."

Carolyn shook her head.

"I don't know what to do, Carolyn. I don't feel right going back to seduce you just so I can make you a single mother once again." He grimaced in distaste. "Especially knowing that I won't be with you to raise the children, our children."

"I know, Daniel. It's not ideal and not what I would have chosen, but neither was my life with Bobby. And I wouldn't give the children up for anything."

"Of course not."

She got up and went over to him and sat on his lap, wrapping her arms around his neck and she placed her ear against his chest and heard his beating heart. "I'll never, ever get tired of that."

"What?"

"The sound of your heart. It beats and that means you're alive. I don't want to give that up." She studied his face. "I am willing to go through whatever happens to that version of me to get here. I will raise both of our children alone until I meet you as your spirit self as I know it will eventually lead to here." She leaned forward and placed a gender kiss on his lips. "I want us to have this life together, the life that we've been denied for so long."

"But…"

"But nothing. If you can tell me that you don't want this life, that you don't want us to be alive together to share everything that entails, then we can go back to what we had before. Though I rather like being young again, especially when you are alive and young as well." She kissed him again and waited for him to speak.

"But to knowingly to seduce you just to impregnate you…"

"Daniel, from what you've said you've seduced countless women in the past, I'm sure you can manage. What's the difference?"

"The difference, my love, is that I love you and I have no wish to use you. Certainly not just to bear a child." He frowned in disapproval.

"That child is Jonathan, if this is our decision you will have to do this."

He groaned and buried his head against her neck. "How will you ever forgive me?"

"That part I can't answer." She laid her head against his chest and listened to his heart again. "We'll get through this, Daniel, we will. But you must do this. We're finally together and I won't give you up."

"If there were some other way," he began.

"There isn't. Can you do this or not? And be honest."

"I think so. It will be difficult, but I don't want to give up our new life together either; and we will get Jonathan back. Those are all good things."

"Yes, they are," she sighed and snuggled against him and he put his arms around her and held her close.

They remained quiet, uneasy in their thoughts and upcoming choices as they remained together the rest of the night.