Chapter 9
This door had never been so useful before this evening, it was supporting the two women who were pressed up against it and also hiding them from the party behind it. Their kiss becoming more deeper with each breath, glued together, unable to separate them from their urge. They stopped briefly to catch their breath and look at each other, then resumed the kiss not so forceful this time, the urgency had been solved. Jen had lunged at Tilly like her heart had screamed at her to do, for once her head was silent, it let her follow her body and her body wanted Tilly. She panted and looked deep into the girls eyes, Tilly looked like she had been pounced upon by a lion, she was still and had beads of sweat along her forehead, she knew she could tease and turn on her teacher but her teacher knew how to get her back and she loved it. "Close your eyes, give me your hand Tilly" Jen placed Tilly's hand over her chest to feel her heart, "Can you feel my heart beating" she touched Tilly's chest too "I think I may need an ambulance babe, its not slowing ha" she laughed, Tilly felt it and she tried telling herself she was dreaming. The eternal flame had been lit and she was in complete wonder.
Jen walked around the pavement and breathed leaving Tilly at the door, in the excitement she had let go of her balloon and watched it fly away in the dark sky like her defences. She knew this woman now, this wasn't watching from afar it was real and in front of her and trying to adjust to it was different but she was having fun trying. She walked down the steps and sat at the bottom in the shrubbery, she wasn't sure why she chose to sit in the grass and mud but she felt at ease with the nature of it all. She ran a hand over her chest, feeling her own heartbeat, it was steadying now a little and she smiled.
There was no need for this moment to be so serious but something had changed in Tilly, she was so smitten in love it scared her. Why when people fall in love do they question everything they feel and replace it with dread. Will she leave or fall out of love with me. You feel as though your heart cannot beat without them, that they are the reason why you are destined to be alive. Tilly felt like she had just died in Jen's arms and been reborn, it was a strange feeling to explain in her head but she had her eyes fixated on Jen, like she was stalking pray.
She picked at the grass on the floor, flicked bits of mud and twigs, Jen noticed she was distracted and came over bending down, "Babe what's wrong" she tilted her head like she did when she was upset and lifted Tilly's face to meet hers, "Nothing" she replied, this lie was obvious to Jen. "So why so glum looking, don't tell me you didn't feel that too, oh my god did I take advantage" Jen lifted her back to stand up and Tilly reached out, holding onto her hand, "Ok don't be mad" she replied looking slightly worried, "Tilly?" Jen was concerned what was wrong, the teenager had come onto her, was she too rough. "I love you, and im scared. I knew I did, but now I feel like if I lose you I will simply die, my heart could be retched out of my body and tossed away" she began crying, Jen leaned in and hugged the girl, "What made you think this Tilly, where am I going?" Jen knew this dread, she wore it often. It was the moment she knew she had fallen properly in love with the teenager, its only when you feel the pain and dread that you know your in love. You need to feel the anguish and be completely terrified and know that this paradise could be taken, to make you appreciate it. Jen had felt this the moment when she tried hiding from the girl in school, she knew this girl was her own personal drug.
There are many moments in a relationship that do take your breath away completely, and stay with you. To know that when they say I love you and they mean it and the little things that only you know about them, making those things yours. Waking up beside the other person watching the sun light up their face, you don't even notice time go by, just the changes of the seasons.
She smiled at Tilly urging her to explain, it was important for the teenager to release her fears to Jen and understand what she was feeling. "I don't even know where this came from, I was enjoying the party, it was thrilling turning you on and then when you jumped out here I wanted you I really did, but then when you walked down there something hit me. The pang made me feel sick and I don't know why but I didn't want to be out of your reach" she bowed her head looking defeated by her emotions, "Babe this is normal, do you understand, your in love" Jen reassured the girl, "But ive been in love with you since I saw you Jen" she was defensive, she didn't want the teacher to think she had been untrue this would crush her. "That was lust and a crush Tilly, this what your feeling now, the pain, that is love. You love me" she couldn't help but smile, the teenager loved her and now Jen knew it. She wiped a tear from Tilly's face, "Shall we call that ambulance?" she joked, Tilly laughed too "Yeah, I have a irreversibly bad case of loving you" they both laughed and Tilly felt reassured, she loved Jen, not liked, but full on, take all the consequences Loved her. "Thanks, so I love you then its official ha. Do you know what helped me?" Jen shook her head "No, what babe?", Tilly looked embarrassed but sexy "The way your balancing? I can see up your dress" she threw her head back and laughed as Jen slapped her across the knee "Rude, here's me thinking were bearing souls and your checking me out again, jeez Tilly" she laughed and stood up holding out her hand to pull Tilly onto her feet, it's a cliché but Jen had caught her while she fell hard into love. There are some moments your need to cherish and this was one of them, marked on Jen's memory forever, the moment Tilly fell in love with her, this was more than trust, this was commitment. All Jen's life she had been waiting for a fairytale to come her way, she painted with openness awaiting for something to come along, spending her day dreaming about things, but she had been living in a fantasy with no meaning. This was something she could feel and something she could hold.
They made their way back up the stairs, Jen smacked dirt off the back of Tilly's dress, her had grazing Tilly's bum, "I think you missed a bit" Tilly joked and Jen poked her tongue out and ran her hand the entire length of Tilly's back, letting her hand run a little harder over the arch of her bum, she cupped it with both hands and gave her a gently spank "Looks good to me, come on you have a party to get too". "It's my party, I'll do what I please, or who I please, damn il cry if I wont too" they both laughed and Jen opened the door and pushed her inside, waiting a few minutes and then entering herself. She had no idea how long they had been missing so she didn't want anyone to see them all rosy cheeked returning.
Tilly went straight over to the girls and was giggling within minutes, Jen circled the room in the opposite direction, mingling with some of the older guests. They stayed away from each other all night to avoid the tension from arising again, casting each other sly looks catching the other doing same. Tilly loved seeing Jen, she could feel herself missing her slightly and only had to look over and she would see the glint in her eye that made her smile, her very own little sparkle. She could feel Jen touching her, not physically but through their connection, just a look and she was knocking on her heart.
People started clearing out and it was down to Tilly, Sinead, her mother, Jen and Tilly's friends all making a start to the door to go out dragging Sinead with them, "Till's you coming babe, come on" Maddie shrieked, enticing her friend to continue the drinking spree with them. "Mad, im tired babe, and I think this punch has gone to my head, I caught Bart putting vodka and Malibu in it earlier, no wonder my head is spinning. You know me il be sick soon I best stay", "Awww babe you suck but true true" Maddie replied and stuck her tongue out, she ran over unsteady on feet and kissed her cheek "Happy Birthday babe" and with that they were gone. Sinead's mother was looking stressed at tidying up and Jen tried to help but she seemed to be in the way, she raised her eyes at Tilly at how dramatic Diane was being.
Diane threw the bin bag to the floor and gave up storming to the stairs "I'll finish this in the morning, night both" and she stomped up the stairs. Tilly helped pick up paper plates as Jen threw bits of silly string onto the girls hair chuckling, Tilly retaliated by throwing a party ring at Jen, who caught it and bit it savagely causing the teenager to laugh out. Tilly hit her over the head with a balloon, and stood back waiting for the response. Within seconds both girls wielded balloons and a full balloon fight had erupted in the front room, both darting around and smacking the other where they could, Tilly being her usual clumsy self slipped on a party ring on the floor and fell backwards, Jen ran over diving on top of the girl laughing from the trip "Ha you ok babe?" it felt like the scene from the car, although neither was using tickling as a method to get close, they were close and had been even closer than this. Jen tried defusing the situation as she bit into her balloon and sucked the helium "Happy Birthday" she sang in a high pitched voice, making Tilly wriggle in a fit of laughs, she rubbed a balloon on Jen's hair causing it to stand with the friction, Jen looked at the girl ready to retaliate. Tilly tried shifting to move away, she held the balloon in front of her chest distancing them playing, Jen ran a hand through the teenagers hair and in one foul swoop she pulled out one of her hair clips and popped the balloon in the way, falling a little further so the pair were one. Tilly's breath was taken away. They kissed.
This room an hour before was filled with at least forty people all laughing, alcohol infused and dancing, now party poppers, food, empty bottles and two women were all that littered the floor. Things were getting heated again and Diane was only upstairs, Jen was still as always cautious, "Tilly, Tilly stop … stop that babe. Listen to me, lets go upstairs" she was trying to remove the girls lips from depositing on her neck and her fingers trailing a path she knew well. "Ok" Tilly's reply was muffled but she knew it was best, and who said the party was about to end. To think a party ring started this.
They made their way tip toeing up the stairs, Tilly's hands were holding Jen's and there look would be undisturbed. Jen walked into her room as Tilly went in search to the bathroom quickly, she brushed her teeth with her finger, tidied her hair and pulled up her bra so her boobs looked good. When she was happy she made her way into Jen's room, knocking the door and entering with one leg first trying to be sexy, she ran it up and down the door seductively the vodka had taken its hit and she was tipsy but drunk on love and more so lust at this precise moment. She entered the room shutting the door quietly behind her and she looked, her jaw hit the floor at the beauty in front of her. Jen was laid across the bed completely naked with a ribbon covering her mouth, she had a gift for Tilly on her chest, she had even wrote a card.
