CHAPTER NINE
"Allow me to offer an opinion." May remarked as she and Nick walked down the sidewalk in Vaish, the red towers rising up to the heavens around them. They were on their way to a movie, but had been forced to make a stop at the nearby grocery to get some supplies for the rest of the Irken force on Vort that had remained behind by order of Tallest Spork to "ensure there would be no more incidents".
"What's the opinion?" Nick wanted to know, looking interested.
"Your friend Darth's got a king-size bug all the way up his duodenum." May laughed. "Did you SEE those sketches he did of "Invader Zim"? I didin't know it was possible for a blind ANYTHING to draw like that."
"Yeah, the peeled skin was a little…gross." Nick admitted.
"So you agree with me!" May added, turning her head to look right into his eyes, pink into green.
"Noooot exactly." Nick remarked, shrugging. "He's just trying to cope with losing Miyuki. She was the one who advocated for allowing physical defectives to find a place in Irken society. If it wasn't for her, they would have just been eradicated. He owed everything to her and Zim took her away from him. He just…can't forgive. I'm TRYING to tell him to forgive, but…" He bit his lip. "It'll take a lot for that to happen."
"He still freaks me out. But he's not as big a tightwad as Spork."
"Yeah, he's so uptight that when he farts, only TROGS can hear it." Nick sniggered.
"Do you have to carry that rifle on your back though?" May asked. "My ex-husband's not THAT bad…"
"You told me he's a crime boss. Why would I NOT carry it around in case he tries something?"
Soon, they'd reached the theater and May Nar held up the monies for a ticket. Nodding at her happily, the ticketmaster let them in and they got the best seat they could find…in the back, where, if needed, they could make out without prying eyes watching.
The GOOD news was that that movie wasn't so hot and didn't have much of a plot. BUT that meant they could snog away.
And so, that night, Nick nervously held his hands down and in front of him, visibly blushing. "Well…good night." He said, bending down and kissing her lips, pulling the veil over his mouth down. He then waved goodbye and walked off, heading back to the fortress.
…
…
…
…she wasn't there in the morning. What WAS there was a mess…and a note.
"Don't come near my wife again, you foul Irken-" the rest couldn't be repeated in mixed company.
Clutching the note so hard he was afraid he was going to rip it in two, Nick ground his teeth, then raced out the house, moving past broken vases, slashes and burn marks on the wall and a broken-open doorway, heading back to the prison fortress that was the Irken base. He had to get help.
"Lemme see if I've got this right…" Mar asked. "You want us goin' after yer girl? That's so cuuute!" She laughed.
Darth rubbed his chin. "Hmm…" He frowned a little. "I don't exactly LIKE being here. And I had planned on calling up Tallest Spork and asking him to get me transferred somewhere else. I've heard Invader Tak wants a transfer off of Dirt-"
"Darth, PLEASE." Nick begged, clutching onto Darth's arm.
Instantly a flood of images went through his head as Darth's unseeing eyes FOCUSED on him, and pupils that had appeared to see above and beyond looked right at HIM. He couldn't understand the pictures, they were almost abstract, the IDEA of points that were trying to be explained…
"Alright." Darth remarked, as he lifted Nick's gloved claws off him. "I'll help you. She has children you're concerned over and I'm not without a heart, so…" He grinned. "You told me that Hanna Rom, her ex-husband, is a crime boss? Well luckily for you, I happen to know enough about the nightlife of Vort to find THIS out."
He pulled out something from his pocket and handed it to Nick, who looked it over. It was a flyer for a private party hosted by Hanna Rom at his home…a very large and fancy-looking party, at that.
"I will attend the party and be the distraction while you and Mar indulge in some breaking and entering to find your girlfriend. What do you say?"
Nick grinned. "I LIKE it. You gonna be a James Bond and wear a tuxedo and carry a Walter PPK and all that?"
"James who?"
"A spy." Nick remarked. His memories of Earth were VERY hard to hold onto, but he was honestly trying very hard and being around May seemed to awaken some of his old sentimental nostalgia for his home planet.
"Yes, I'm going to be a spy. But…I'm not going to need a gun." Darth remarked. "However would I aim it?" He added darkly, tapping at his unseeing eyes.
…
…
…
…Mar carefully slunk through the vent shafts of the dark halls, having gone down the elevator shaft and out the elevator to the security room. "Here we are. Heh, TOO easy." She remarked, grinning broadly. She pressed her gloved claws to a nearby console and the entire wall lit up, showing off hundreds upon hundreds of blue-tinted screens that showed off where cameras were filming. "Wow, the party's jumpin', alright. Too bad you gotta crash it! Anyhow…" She typed in a series of numbers into the console. "Hmm…"
BEEP! WRONG PASSWORD.
"Dang it. What was the password again?" She asked, raising her wrist communicator.
Nick tapped the communications chip on the side of his head and frowned as he slunk along the hallway on the other side of the large mansion that the party was at. "I told you, the computer reads bio-electric patterns and turns them into a code that creates a unique combination which is based off our personal crackle."
"Hmm." Mar tapped her lip, then grinned and quickly entered in a number.
BEEP! CORRECT!
"Ha! Knew it! My locker number. That's the only number I've EVER typed or worked with." She remarked.
"…I'm not gonna comment on that." Nick thought, tapping the communications chip. "So you're in?"
"The security system is goin' bye-bye in five…four…three…two…ONE! Okay Darth, you're in."
Darth tapped the little flower on his tuxedo and grinned. "Got it…and sneakin' in." He said, climbing through the no-longer-alarmed window, making his way to the ballroom.
…
…
…
…some time later, a smarmy-looking Vortian with sharp-tipped horns was speaking to his guards, a red and black jacket on his person. "You sure she and her dumb kids are locked up good and tight but not actually HURT?"
"Yes sir. We just knocked them out. But they kept running around at the house…"
Hanna Rom rubbed his chin. "Well good. Because that hurting is MY job. I'm gonna make her pay for seeing Irken FILTH-hold…on." He frowned deeply as he looked out at the ballroom and it's many occupants, looking past a chandelier, three tables with large bowls filled with types of champagne and fancy red rugs. "The eyes of Hanna Rom reveal a FILTHY IRKEN in our midst."
Darth was chatting it up with some sexy-looking Vortians whom he had literally sunk his claws into and they were now hanging on his every word. "So he says "You got any idea what this flag stands for?" and I said "Flag? I thought it was toilet paper!". So then we started to FIGHT, and then he was in BITS…" Darth remarked cheerily.
"This…is a private function and I do NOT remember placing any Irken on the guest list." Hamma Rom snapped, approaching him as his guards advanced to either side of Darth.
"Well, you won't find me on your guest list because my comrades are here to steal your "valuables". And I'M…just…THE DISTRACTION!" He cackled, extending his claws fully and stabbing them deep into the guard's chests. "Attack your former master!" He commanded.
They turned on Hamma Rom, their eyes glowing White as Darth grinned and Hamma Rom whistled for more guards to come out, making Darth laugh. "Yeah, go ahead, call in more help…give me a REASON to go all out…" He hissed, licking his lips.
Meanwhile, May and her two children were clinging together in a dank cell, water dripping down the walls as they nervously looked at the single door to the cell.
"What's gonna happen to us?" Young Bo asked.
"I…don't know." May admitted quietly.
CREAAAK!
The door open and Nick stood in the doorway, the rifle on his back smoking from the barrel, a screaming guard clutching his legs down the hallway. "Aren't you glad I carry this on my back all the time?" He remarked in a chipper fashion.
…
…
…
… "Huff…puff…"
All of them ran for their lives as they raced down the hallway.
"This SUCKS!" Mar announced.
"Well you shouldn't have worn HIGH HEELS!" Darth growled.
"Did you rig the place to blow?" Nick asked, turning his head.
"Yep." Darth remarked.
"Did you warn the guests?" Nick asked as well.
"Nope."
"DAAAARTH!" Nick hissed angrily.
"They all took off after they saw the guards were cutting themselves to pieces." Darth laughed. "Ah, the power of SUGGESTION…" He remarked, holding up his blood-stained claws…and then tripping on the floor. He hissed angrily and got back up…just as a large explosion rocked the entire mansion and fire began to pour out from the end of the hallway, where they had just come from.
"So you've no doubt we can survive this?" May asked.
"Oh absolutely." Nick remarked. "In case you forgot, we're in the left-hand side of the house…and right outside the windows…" He pointed forward down the hallway. "Is where he keeps his vehicles."
CRASH! They jumped out of the window and down towards a large truck-like hovercraft as an explosion blasted the mansion's roof off the hinges and Hamma Rom's wail of anger and pain could be heard through the sky. "It IS our lucky night!" May remarked, holding tightly to her kids as they all landed in the back of the craft, on a bunch of soft packages labeled "Jello", allowing some squishy, sugary purple goodness to leak out. Instantly Bo and Ian began stuffing their faces with the stuff as Nick climbed in the front seat of the hovercraft and they headed through the air as the mansion burnt to the ground.
"Of course, my house is still a wreck." May admitted quietly. "So I'm gonna have to sleep at YOUR place tonight."
Nick grinned a little. "Uh, that…that's no problem! We have some spare beds, don't we?" He asked Darth and Mar.
"…yes, I suppose." Darth remarked, yawning and stretching out on the Jello packages, licking some off his gloved claws. "Mmm…blurpleberry!"
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