Confusion
My first day working at the theater was simply splendid, journal! The people I work with are all very nice and I believe that we may even move from being strictly co-workers to friends. I have never had so many friends in my life and it's different, in a good way, to finally be included. When I got home, I wanted to share everything with Santana but she seemed to be in a foul mood, speaking to me only long enough to inform me that she was taking a very long, hot bath and didn't wish to be disturbed. Period.
So, I was left to my own devices. I had just decided to watch a movie from my Audrey Hepburn collection, when my phone rang.
It was Jesse.
I wasn't quite sure I wanted to answer but I did anyway, issuing a plaintive, "Hello?" into the mouthpiece.
In response, he cursed several times.
There was no question in my mind as to why he was so upset. "Jesse, I'm-"
"What? Sorry? For telling your BFF Noah something that isn't true? Do you realize he came out to New York and beat the crap out of me?"
I had known that was going to happen but Noah had sure acted fast, wasting no time in enacting revenge on my former lover. "I hope you weren't dreadfully hurt but you know, you cheating on me-"
"Cheating on you? Rachel! I was always faithful to you."
Puzzled, I bit down, hard, on my bottom lip for several minutes. I'm sure he thought I had ended the call. Finally, I whispered, "Then why so soon after we broke up? It makes little sense, Jesse."
It was his turn to pause but his heavy breathing alerted me that he was still there. "You were so happy. Everything was great for you. I barely know this girl. We went on one date, after you left for Los Angeles and…I wanted everything to be great for me too. But it's not great! I miss you, Babs. And, on top of that, now I have a broken nose, a black eye, a busted lip, and three very tender ribs."
Hearing his nickname for me, I almost cried, journal. Plus, he misses me! I feel so awful for Noah's actions on my behalf, especially in light of this recent discovery. "I am sorry, Jesse. I talked to Noah about it but I didn't know he would do something like this…"
Bitterly, he said, "You should have known," then hung up.
No amount of Audrey would help me figure things out. If only Santana were more emotionally available and willing to discuss this with me!
I am so very confused.
Signed,
Rachel Berry
