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CHAPTER 9

"I'm going to tell you like I told my mom," Stasia said. "I'm wearing my hair this way because I like it not because Paul said he liked it," she added and walked into the living room.
Paul must have said he liked her hair like that," Emily smiled.
"Yeah he must have," Kim smiled. "She must be starting to like him."
"I hope so," Emily sighed.

Stasia walked in the room and looked in the bassinet and saw Tristan was still sleeping. Stasia let out a sigh and sat on the couch. She had no idea what was going on lately. How until she met Paul she was fine being alone and dwelling on Ethan and missing him and now just from a little over week of talking to Paul and seeing him her thoughts were more on Paul and less on Ethan. Ethan was supposed to be the only guy for her but what were all these feelings she was developing for Paul. Stasia leaned back against the couch just as Emily walked in the room and sat by her.

"You want to talk about it?" Emily asked. "I'll listen if you do."

"Its just…I just….Paul…." she said and Emily nodded. "Ethan," Stasia said. "I always thought Ethan would be the only guy for me, the only guy I could ever care about or fall in love with." she began. "And now, I just don't know anymore." she told her. "I mean I'll always care about Ethan and love him but Paul just surprised me," she admitted.

"He does that a lot," Emily told her and she smiled.

"He's not what I expected at all," she told her. "But it just feels to much like I'm betraying Ethan by being with Paul and wanting to be with him and thinking about him."

"I think Ethan would want you to be happy Stasia," Emily told her. "And letting go and making yourself happy again isn't betraying Ethan," she said. "You'll always have a part of you that loves Ethan, you never forget your first love."

"I know," she whispered.

"And I know Paul knows that to Stasia," Emily told her. "Its ok to move on." she sighed. "None of us have been where you are So we can't begin to imagine how you're feeling." She told her.

"I didn't mean to snap at Kim about my hair." Stasia said softly. "I did the same thing to my mom when she said something about my hair."

"Its fine," Emily told her. "But did Paul tell you he liked your hair in curls."

"Well he mentioned he liked it," Stasia said softly. "And I might like how he twirls the curls around his finger or how he tugs on them." Emily smiled.

"Its ok to like Paul," Emily told her. "You don't have to be more than friends but he does like you Stasia."

"I know he does," she whispered. "But lots of girls like Paul. Girls a lot more experienced than me and prettier than me and willing to give Paul what he wants."

"Stasia, I don't think Paul even sees any other girl but you anymore," Emily told her.

"Really?" she asked quietly.

"Yes," Emily said. "Now I'm going to go see how much longer the foods going to be," she told her. "You ok?"

"I'm good," Stasia said.

"I'll be right back then," Emily told her.


When she walked outside Emily walked over to where Sam was standing by the barbeque grill.

"Food will be ready soon," Sam told her as he wrapped an arm around her and kissed her cheek.

"Where's Anastasia?" Paul asked.

"She's inside," Emily told him.

"She's ok?"

"She's fine Paul," Emily assured him. "You can go in and talk to her if you want."

"I don't think she really wants to talk to me," he said quietly.

"Paul," Emily said. "Go on inside and talk to her," she told him and he nodded and turned around and walked towards the house.

When Paul walked inside he found Stasia sitting on the couch. He walked over and sat down next to her.

"Anastasia," he said and she turned to look at him.

"Paul." she said and he reached over and began to twirl one of her curls around his finger.

"Is everything ok?" he asked.

"Yeah," she told him. "Everything is fine."

"So that song you were singing to the baby earlier," Paul began. "I don't think I've ever heard it before."

"You shouldn't have heard it before," she told him. "I wrote it."

"Oh," he said. "You write songs."

"Yes. They may not be any good but yeah I do write songs."

"Well if the rest of your songs are anything like that one you sang today they have to be amazing." he told her and she smiled, she knew he meant what he said.

"You really mean that," she said.

"Of course Anastasia," he told her. "I would never lie to you to spare your feelings."

"Yeah I believe that," she said and looked away.

"Hey," he said and she looked back over at him. "The reason I wouldn't lie to you is because it would hurt you more to find out I lied to you than if I just told you the truth right?"

"I guess so," she sighed and he smiled.

"I'd rather not be the reason you're upset or hurting." he told her and she smiled. "But I know I have been and knowing me I will be again." he added. "But I am hoping you'll eventually want to go out with me."

"I know Paul but I won't promise I'll ever go out with you or even date anyone again." she told him. "I won't make you any promises I can't keep."

"Good," he sighed. "I won't either Anastasia." he told her and she smiled and they were both quiet.

"You know Anastasia," he said. "If you ever need to talk or want to talk about Ethan or anything else, you can call me and I'll listen."

"You would listen to me talk about another guy?" she asked shocked. "A guy I love."

"Yes Anastasia I would if you needed me to," he told her and she smiled.

"Thanks," she whispered.

"Do you want my number?" he asked.

"I already have your number Paul," she told him.

"How?" he asked.

"You called me last night," she told him and he smiled.

"And you put my number in your phone?"

"Yes," she told him.

"Then call me sometime."


Paul was getting ready for school on Sunday night when his phone rang. He walked over and answered it. It was Sam. He needed Paul to take care of some pack business out of state.

"Sam, can't someone else do it?" Paul asked.

"No Paul," Sam told him.

"What about Jared or Jake?"

"No Paul, you're pack Beta it has to be you."

"But Sam, I finally have some sort of routine with Anastasia, I wait by her locker for her every morning," Paul told him. "If I'm not there she'll probably think I've grown tired of her to and abandoned her like her other friends." he said. "Do you know how hard its been to gain what little I have with her."

"I'm sorry Paul but you have to go." Sam told him. "You'll only be gone tomorrow."

"Fine," Paul said clearly not happy about it and hung up. "Damn," Paul cursed.

Paul picked up the phone and thought about calling Stasia but didn't know how to explain what he would be doing to her so he called Embry instead.

"What's up Paul?" Embry answered.

"Sam just called and I have to go out of town for pack business tomorrow so I won't be in school."

"Ok."

"Will you do something for me?"

"Depends on what it is?"

"Well every morning and afternoon I wait my Anastasia's locker for her. If I'm not there….I don't want her to think I'm not there because I don't want to be. I don't want her thinking I've abandoned her to." he said. "Will you be there for her tomorrow?"

"You want me to be your stand in?"

"Yes its just tomorrow?" he told him.

"What do I have to do?" Embry asked.


The next morning when Stasia walked to her locker she saw someone standing in front of it but she could tell it wasn't Paul. As she walked closer she saw it was Embry. Embry stepped aside and let Stasia open her locker. She glanced over at him but never said anything.

"Morning Anastasia," Embry said and she looked over at him and shook her head.

"Hey," she said.

"Is something wrong?"

"No one ever calls me Anastasia but Paul," she told him. "It just doesn't sound right for anyone else to call me Anastasia."

"Only Paul," he said and she nodded.

"Yeah," she whispered and he smiled.

"Ok," he said.

"Where is Paul?" she asked quietly.

"He had to out of town to handle some business for Sam, but he'll be back here tomorrow."

"Oh," she whispered.

"So I don't know how this usually goes," Embry said. "Does Paul walk you to class?"

"No," she told him.

"So I'll see you this afternoon ok." Embry told her.

"You don't have to Embry," she told him.

"I do, Paul will definitely kick my ass if I don't." he told her.

"Why?"

"Well he personally asked me to be here in his place," Embry told her. "He just wanted to make sure you didn't think he had abandoned you," he added.

"Why didn't he just call me himself?" she asked.

"I have no idea." Embry told her.

When Paul wasn't by her locker that afternoon it was then that she realized how much she missed him being there. It wasn't that she didn't like Embry because she did, he just wasn't Paul.


The next morning when Stasia walked into school and to her locker. Her heart started to speed up. She looked and saw that Paul was back and standing in front of her locker. Stasia smiled and walked over to her locker. Paul stepped aside and let her open her locker.

"Good morning Anastasia," he said and she smiled.

"Morning Paul."

"Was everything ok yesterday?" he asked.

"Yes Paul," she replied and he looked over at her.

"Embry was nice?" he asked and she looked over at him.

"Yes he was…." she answered but Paul sensed she wanted to say something else.

"But," he said.

"But nothing," she told him.

"Did he try something?" Paul asked upset.

"I think you know he didn't," Stasia told him.

"Then what?"

"Its nothing Paul," she told him.

"Anastasia," he said.

"He just…he wasn't you."

"Oh," Paul said softly and smiled. "So you might have missed me a little yesterday."

"I might have," she told him.

"Can I walk you to class?" he asked.

"Yeah," she told him and he smiled and closed her locker for her and they fell instep beside each other as they walked down the hall.


Over the next few days Paul started walking Stasia to her classes and home everyday. She had even started letting him meet her in the morning and walk her to school. She still hadn't sat with them at lunch yet but Paul hoped that would come soon.

Stasia and Paul were walking to lunch together later that week.

"So you want to sit with us today?" he asked and Stasia looked up at him.

"Yeah ok," she agreed.

"Really?" he asked surprised.

"Yeah," she told him and he led her over to the table to sit down. Paul took Stasia's hand in his as he sat down and then gently pulled her down to sit beside him.

"Stasia, hi," Kim said happily.

"Hi Kim," Stasia replied.

"I'm glad you finally decided to sit with us," Kim told her and Stasia smiled slightly.

"I also don't think we ever thanked you for making Tristan stop crying this weekend." Embry told her. "Our ears thank you so much." he added and she smiled.

"You have a really pretty voice," Jacob told her.

"Thank you," Stasia said quietly.


Friday night Stasia was walking back and forth across her bedroom floor. She was thinking about Paul. She did like Paul and she knew he liked her to, that was obvious even to her. Stasia still thought about Ethan though, she still really missed him but lately she missed him less. She knew a part of her would always love him but since she had been hanging out with Paul she was beginning to think it was possible for her to move on. Stasia let out a sigh and picked her phone up and called Paul.

"Hello," Paul answered.

"Paul."

"Anastasia," he said. "Is everything ok?" he asked worried.

"Its fine," she assured him. "Are you busy?"

"I always have time for you," he told her.

"Oh," she said. "I was hoping we could talk, in person."

"Of course Anastasia," he said. "Do you want to meet me on the beach in fifteen minutes?"

"That sounds good," she said.

"Ok, see you in fifteen then." he said and Stasia hung up. She took a deep breath, not believing she was about to go talk to Paul about Ethan.