Why did she have to go, I don't know she wouldn't say. I said something wrong and suddenly I long for yesterday. Yesterday love was such and easy game to play. Now I need a place to hide away. Oh I believe in yesterday. *

Chapter 9 - Yesterday

Lilly woke up before Miley and unwrapped the girl's arm from her and got out of the bed. She smiled down at the beautiful long brown hared girl and just as quick she frowned. What am I doing here? Why am I doing this? What is wrong with me; haven't I had my heart broken enough by her? That's what she'll do! I know it…I just know she will break my heart again! Lilly started getting dressed when she heard a moan from the bed and she stopped panicked. She was hoping to get out of the house before Miley woke up. She was not going to abandoned her Miley like she did to her. She would leave a note telling her she had to go but would come back and check up on her later and change her bandages, but that was all. No more sleeping with her! No more sweet wonderful cuddling with her regardless of how incredible it felt. Yeah leave a note…just like a fucking email! You are better than that! You are stronger than that! Tell her, that's what you will do. Tell her that she could not do this anymore and while it was great…no leave out the great. Don't give her a chance to sweet talk you again. Just tell her you will be back later to check up on her and then leave and come back tomorrow.

"Hey, Lils, where you going?" Miley asked in a sleepy voice as Lilly was putting on her jeans. Lilly turned and fell to the ground as she was trying to jump into her pants leg. Miley giggled.

Lilly got up and put on her jeans and looked at Miley's lovely face and her so innocent look that made Lilly melt. "I…I…I was going to get us something to eat. I'm hungry and you need to eat. Then after we ate I was going to call Rachel. We need to get your car."

Miley frowned and batted those wonderful blue eyes, "You…you are coming back…right?"

Lilly sighed, "Yeah, Miles, I will come back…I promise." Fuck, fuck, fuck…she did it again!

Miley smiled, "Ok…thank you, Lilly."

Lilly just nodded put on her sneakers and walked from the house to get into her car. Once in her car she started hitting her steering wheel with her fists over and over and started crying. She knew Miley was going to hurt her again but she could not help it. If there was one small bit of hope they would be friends again Lilly would take it. She would take it even through she knew it was going to hurt her.

Miley watched Lilly leave the room and grabbed her pillow from the other side of her bed and inhaled the scent. It smelled like Lilly and she smiled. Suddenly she threw the pillow on the floor and screamed. What was she doing? She ended this friendship and while she missed Lilly she never wanted it back! Damn Mikayla for calling her! Miley was happy with her life as it was. She loved being a slave to Mikayla and a submissive in general. She took her role very seriously and it was how she wanted to live. It was not a game to her or a weekend fetish and now…now she has to explain it to Lilly. Yeah that will go over good. Lilly already thinks I am a freak and I disgust her. I saw how she looked at me when she left the room. But why do I care? I never cared before so why now? Why do I care what she thinks of me? But damn it was so nice to have her here and the way she bathed me and took care or me and when we snuggled it was…what? What was it? It was lust…that is what it is. I lust after Lilly Truscott and that is understandable. I mean hell she is freaking hot and that body….God that body is awesome. Maybe that is what I need. I need to fuck her and then these feeling will go away. But how do I do that? I cannot make the first move…I mean that is not my position. She is the dominant one and she needs to make that move not me. And then what if we did have sex…she would not do to me what I need to get off. She would not hurt me to make me come. And if I begged her then she would just get more disgusted with me. Damn…damn…and sweet nibblets! Why did I ask her to come back?

Lilly came back with some cheeseburgers and a chocolate milk shake for her and a strawberry one for Miley…her favorite flavor. The two girls ate in silence and Lilly put some more cream on Miley's welts but the bandages did not need changing yet. Lilly called Rachel and told her they needed to go get Miley's car. Lilly made up an excuse that Miley was at a party and got sick and she could not find anyone to get her car for her. After listening to Rachel telling her Miley was just using her and was going to hurt her again she agreed to help. That night Lilly changed Miley's bandages and saw the welts were not as bad as she thought and cleaned them again with a wet soapy cloth and put fresh bandages on them. They went downstairs to watch television for a while and still did not talk much.

"Remember when it was your birthday and Oliver was sick and I was in Arizona and I tried my best to get here in time so you would not be alone?" Miley suddenly said during a commercial break.

Lilly smiled, "Yeah and Jackson ended up taking me to a Lakers Game and you had to jump from that air plane."

Miley giggled, "Yeah…I could not let my best friend be alone on her birthday could I?"

Lilly looked at Miley, "Yeah…well…I was last year. Where were you then, Miles?" Lilly snapped and she suddenly regretted her words. Miley ran up stairs to her room and shut the door and threw herself on her bed. She did not cry even if she was sad. She deserved that remark. She deserved to be punished for hurting Lilly.

Lilly sighed and walked upstairs and knocked on the door. "Miley, I'm sorry…let me in…please."

"I'm not stopping you." Miley replied and gently turned her head to watch Lilly come in the room.

"Look, Miley, that was mean of me…I'm sorry."

Miley shook her head, "No, Lilly, don't…I…I shouldn't have said anything. The silence was just killing me and…and I'm sorry I mentioned it."

Lilly laughed and sat on the edge of the bed, "Well I guess if you were going to take a trip down memory lane that story was not a good one to pick, huh?"

Miley smiled, "No…I guess not. But…what one is? All of them are going to end in pain."

Lilly nodded, "Yeah…why can't things be like there were, Miley. I just wish things were like they used to be. It used to be so easy for us."

Miley sighed, "Yeah but that was yesterday, Lilly, the past. Now this is today…the present. We…we grew up. Out grew one another I guess."

Lilly shook her head, "I…I never out grew you, Miles…you out grew me."

Miley gave Lilly a weak smile, "Maybe you don't see it now but you will. I…I still have to talk and tell you about…what…what happened to me and why."

Lilly shook her head hard, "I…I don't know if I want you to. I don't know if I want to here what Mikayla does to you and…and why."

Miley sighed, "It is not Mikayla, Lilly, not what you think…I promise you that. She cares about me, Lils; she cares a lot about me."

Lilly threw her hands up in disgust, "Whatever, Miles…but since we are talking can I ask you something…serious…about something else?"

Miley shook her head, "No…not now, Lilly, please. Don't ask me that right now….I…just please don't."

Lilly gave her a sad look, "Can I ever ask it? Will I ever know?"

Miley shrugged, "I…I don't know, Lils, I really don't know." Miley turned her back away from Lilly and curled up. "I guess you don't have to spend the night tonight. Thanks for everything you have done for me."

Lilly nodded. She felt sad but also relieved, "Yeah…you would have done the same for me. I'll come by to check on you tomorrow…and before you say no…to damn bad I am. If the pain gets worse smoke the rest of that joint."

Miley gave weak smile, "Ok…see you then." Miley wanted to add she would have done the same for Lilly but truthfully she did not know if she would have. Not that she did not care for Lilly but because it would have been too much for her. She was not as strong as Lilly was.

Lilly left the room and house without another word. When she got home she had a brief conversation with her mom on the don'ts of drinking and driving and again her mom told her she was a good friend and if any of her other friends were in that situation or if Lilly was they could also call her for a ride. Lilly thanked her mom and went to her room. She picked up her Miley Bear from the floor and put it in her closet. She was done with Miley Bear. She would take care of Miley and help her and even still confront Mikayla about what she was doing to Miley and how she had sex with Oliver, but after tonight's brief conversation Lilly knew her and Miley would never be friends again or more. There was too much hurt and pain for Lilly to do that and still Miley could not give her answer to her question. What did she ever do to Miley for her to hate her so much that she sent that email?

Lilly thought she was not going to cry again but she did. She cried and cursed herself for it and for letting Miley get to her again. She did wish things could be like they used to be. She loved Miley and wanted more than friendship but if she could have her best friend back she would take that as well. Maybe Miley was right about something...maybe they had grown apart. Miley was into something Lilly did not understand. Something strange and perverted and very harmful apparently. Lilly let out a scream of frustration and wished she could have her yesterdays back with Miley. She longed for those days.

Miley lay in her bed and wanted Mikayla do desperately. She needed her mistress and her friend. She wanted to be held and things explained to her. She wanted Mikayla to explain to her why she was so cruel and mean to Lilly. She wanted Mikayla to explain why she wanted Lilly to hold her but also not to. She needed her mistress to explain why these strange feelings for Lilly were driving her crazy. She lusted after people before. She had extreme lust for Mikayla and then that pretty little slave Natalie drove her mad with lust…but why was it so bad and much stronger than with Lilly. Miley suddenly started to cry not just about Lilly but about Mikayla. Was Mikayla going to release her? Miley did not know and she was scared about that as well.

"Why do I fucking ruin everything good in my life? What the fuck is wrong with me! First Lilly and I fucked that up twice and now Mikayla!" Miley screamed aloud. She reached over and lit up the half a joint Lilly left her and when done with that she went to her own stash and smoked another one. She wanted to get stoned and try to forget.

The next day Lilly went and took care of Miley as she promised and the two girls talked a little about girl things and Lilly excitedly told Miley she got her period. Both girls laughed at that and made jokes about for the first time Lilly was glad she got it. Other than that Lilly cleaned Miley's welts, put cream on them, and changed her bandages and she would leave. Miley told her she was going to stay out of school the next day, Monday, and Lilly just nodded and said maybe one day would be good.

That Monday started another beginning for Lilly. A fresh day without being Oliver's girlfriend and it turned into a nightmare. Lilly soon found out that Oliver had been a busy little boy. The rumors she was pregnant flowed throughout the school and also rumors of who the father was spread. Oliver had been tell people he had not had sex with Lilly in a long time and that was why he was seeing Joannie and the other girl. Lilly heard the whispered taunts and teasing that she was a whore who cheated on Oliver first with college guys and one even suggested she was in a college gang bang that could be seen on the internet. When she opened her locker first thing in the morning she found a box of disposable diapers. Lilly just slammed her locker and looked around for someone to hit. At lunch she sat alone and noticed Oliver was not sitting with Joannie but with Amber. Amber Addison of all people and they looked real cozy together. Lilly threw her fork on her plate and was going to find some place to have some alone time when she heard a voice and looked up. It was Ashley Dewitt.

"Hey, Lilly…umm…so…umm…mind if I sit?" Ashley asked in a timid voice.

Lilly shrugged, "No…I you want…but I warn you, Ashley if you and Amber start anything I will not let it go today. I am pissed and I swear I will beat the hell out of you!"

Ashley gave Lilly a sad smiled, "Well…I don't know about Amber but I won't. I…well…I just wanted to say I am sorry."

"Sorry for what?"

"Well…I…see…I knew Oliver was cheating on you with Amber and…I did not like it. We may not be friends but that is just wrong. She had no right to go after another girl's boyfriend. I…I am sorry I did not tell you sooner." Ashley said quickly and in a scared voice.

"What! Amber too…oh my God! How many girls is he fucking? I…I just can't believe him!" Lilly exclaimed.

"Yeah…I knew about him and Amber but not Joannie. I think he and Amber are dating now. I…we are no longer friends."

"Why…I mean I don't blame you, but why?" Lilly asked.

"I just got tired of her pushing me around and some other stuff I don't want to talk about. And the thing with Oliver really bothered me and…well…let's just say she umm…she betrayed a very important secret about me and that was the last straw." Amber said as she played with her hair.

Lilly nodded, "Well…I hope you get better treatment than I am getting with no longer being in the so called cool crowd."

Ashley smiled, "Yeah…I have just killed my social standing by sitting here...but you know what…I don't care anymore."

Lilly smiled, "Yeah…I never really did. I mean I guess when Miley and I stopped being friends I just kind of drifted to them."

"It is easy to really…so…umm…what ever happened to the two of you. It used to be the talk of the school and now they say she is dating that Mikayla girl."

Lilly shrugged, "We just grew apart I guess…same with you and Amber maybe."

"Yeah I can understand that." Ashley said and then her face got serious, "Lilly…if you need anything with well…you know being pregnant I will be happy to help in anyway I can. I mean that. My dad's a doctor and he can give you some names and options and clinics…whatever. Just ask…ok?" Ashley stood up.

Lilly looked at Ashley and she had heard the sincerity in the other girl's voice and it touched her. "Hey, Ashley…would you like to go to the movies or the beach or something sometime…maybe just hang out and talk. I could use a friend."

Ashley grinned and sat back down and pulled out her cell phone. "I would love to, Lilly, I mean that. What's you number?" Lilly gave her phone number and smiled as she promised to call Ashley. She watched Ashley walk out of the cafeteria and thought he come she never noticed how hot the girl was. She was really pretty. Lilly stood up and left her tray and ran after Ashley. She caught the girl in the hallway.

"Oh I forgot…I am not pregnant…false alarm…and well…if I was he father would have been Oliver." Lilly felt she had to add the last part.

Ashley grinned, "Well I am glad you are not. And, Lilly, I don't listen to those rumors. I have known you since grade school and while we have never been friends I always knew the type of person you are…so you did not have to tell me the last part."

Lilly laughed, "Well I just wanted you to know you were not going to be hanging with a pregnant whore."

Ashley held out her hand, "Care to walk me to my car? I left my chemistry book in there and I have it next period."

Lilly took her hand and smiled, "Sure but you do know if we are seen then they will start a rumor about us dating?"

Ashley leaned in and whispered in Lilly's ear, "I'll risk it if you will." She teased with a giggle.

Lilly giggle as well and nodded. How come I have never noticed how hot and sexy this girl is? She thought as she let Ashley lead her to her car.

Over the next week and a half Lilly was hanging out with Ashley more and more and they struck up a friendship with one another. Lilly liked Ashley a lot and they hung out quite a bit. She spent the first part of the week helping Miley after school but soon she was starting to feel better and her welts were almost healed and she no longer had a reason to go see Miley anymore and while she was saddened by it she knew it was the best thing to do. It was not like Miley was making any effort anyway. At school she ignored Lilly like always although she would catch her eye in her second period class and Miley would give Lilly a small smile or sometimes she would see Miley in the hallway and again Miley would smile at her but that was it. Lilly just figured Miley no longer needed her so she let her go…again. That was typical Miley! She does not care for anyone but herself! Lilly thought and let it go. She was kind of feeling better about it and Ashley helped. Ashley was flirtatious without even meaning to be and fun to be around and always seemed to want to please Lilly. Lilly liked it and she was growing very fond of Ashley. She was bothered by the rumors more than she let on and they got worse and worse and some became down right ridicules. One morning it came to a very hurtful point. It was the following week on a Tuesday morning and Lilly walked into the school and read a text from Ashley saying she would not be at school for a couple of days. A family emergency and she had to be out. Lilly text her back asking if she needed anything and Ashley replied a new father and then said she was joking and no she was fine. Lilly walked to her locker and froze. Painted all over her locker was the word "Whore" and she felt tears in her eyes as she heard taunts and teasing and she ran. She ran to her car and then drove to her house and started crying. That was the final breaking point for her. All the rumors finally caught up with her and she could not take it anymore. As she cried her phone rang signaling a text and she was hoping it was from Ashley…she needed a shoulder to cry on. She read it – I saw…at home…please come over to talk…Miles. Lilly threw her phone against the wall and threw herself on her bed again. She was not going over to see Miley. That would be the worst thing she could do.

Miley was lonely when Lilly stopped coming over. Mikayla was gone and Lilly no longer needed to come over to take care of her and she got lonely and sad. She would catch Lilly's eye at school and smile trying to get her attention and Lilly would smile back but never talk to her. Miley just figured Lilly had enough and that was it and that made her sad. Then Lilly started hanging out with Ashley Dewitt and Miley felt a little jealous. She didn't know why but she did. They were always together and Miley hated that. One night at home she felt her heart racing and her breathing getting heavy and she knew what she needed. She needed the pain and the wonderful release it gave her but she fought it hard. She denied herself her "drug" because for once she thought of the consequences. Her need for her rush allowed Lilly to find out who she was and also may have made her lose Mikayla so Miley fought it.

Miley also heard about the rumors about poor Lilly that made her sad. She could not understand how people could say that about such a sweet girl. She was just glad Lilly was strong enough not to let them get to her. The next thing that upset her was that Mikayla had not called her and she had not talked to her since that night and that scared Miley. The only thing she heard from Mikayla was a text asking if she told Lilly yet. Miley replied no and Mikayla sent a simple reply – Don't test me, Miley! – and Miley knew she had to tell Lilly. As she walked to her first period class Tuesday morning she set her mind on talking to Lilly today and asking her to come over tonight so the could talk and then Lilly would truly hate her forever for being such a disgusting freak. Miley walked the hall and noticed a group of boys laughing and pointing at a locker with the word "Whore" spray painted all over it. She asked one of the boys whose locker and he replied. "That slut…Lilly Truscott…she saw it and left." Miley slapped him and walked quickly back to her car. When she got home she sent Lilly a text – I saw…at home…please come over to talk…Miles. Miley waited for a reply and after two hours and no word she sat down on her couch and cried again. She was so fucking tired of crying and not even knowing why but she could not help it.

*yeah another Beatles song – Yesterday

Once again…not happy with the chapter but need it to lead up to the next one…a good one and I promise future chapters are much better!