Next thing I know, I'm lying in the medicine cats den. I open my eyes to see jayfeather treating birchfall for his wounds. They seem to have been healing for a few days, so I must have been out for a while. The birds are twittering outside, a strange new tune that I don't fancy. Cats are talking quietly outside, so I can't hear them. What I do hear is jayfeather padding over to me. I hear him talking to me, but I can't understand what he is saying. Its like my ears were shattered in the fall. But I can still hear, even if I can't hear properly. I see jayfeathers mouth moving, and I can hear him, but I just can't understand him! I try to mouth read, and I translate: sparkpaw! Can you hear me? Sparkpaw!
Well, I can't. He tries again. Strangely enough, it sounds a little bit like shpargkbaw! Gan you gear be? Shpargkbaw!, but a little muffled. A bit like one ear was hearing one thing, and the other ear was hearing another thing...
I block my left ear, and I still can't hear. But when I feel my right ear... I can hear a little better. Still a little muffled, but good enough.
I wonder why jayfeather hasn't called anyone yet. Like leafpool or brightheart. They might be able to help. I smell mouse, and Alderblaze. I look up. He has a mouse in his jaws. He drops it in front of me, and says something like 'I got you something to eat'.
I say thank you, but I can't even understand myself. I sigh, and wait for something. I'm not sure what, because I can't hear, so I can't talk to anyone. I can't go training, and I can't even play. There's no cat to play with.
I hear jayfeather come in. He wets some moss, and starts to clean out my right ear. I can hear a lot better now, but I feel a little disoriented. He continuously cleans my ear, goes out, fetches new moss, cleans my ear again, and starts the cycle again. Soon enough I can hear well enough to understand everyone, but it is still a little muffled.
"Can you hear me now?" Jayfeather asks.
"Yes" I say. "Its still a little muffled though". I wonder what happened. I remember pulling something down with me... What unfortunate cat was that...
I try to get up, but it's too hard, and I immediately fall back down again. I hear jayfeather talking with another cat outside, and I wonder who it is. Jayfeather comes back in, and sits down in the nest next to me.
"What happened" I ask. I need to know.
Jayfeather starts explaining. He says that when I was knocked by the badger, it wasn't a cat I pulled down, it was a badger! Good. I didn't take the life of some innocent cat.
The badger fell into the elders den, nearly crushing sandstorm, but I lived because I fell on graystripe. Again. How many times can I squash an elder in one day?
He says that the badger wasn't dead though. The warriors and elders had to fight it, and they eventually drove it away. But that wasn't all I wanted to know.
"Were there any deaths" I whisper.
"Yes" jayfeather sighs. "Spiderleg died trying to lead the badgers away from camp. Cloudtail was killed by the female badger. So was briarlight. Snowbush and dewnose were killed my the male. Hollytuft was killed by the cubs, and..." Jayfeather hesitates. I sense that he doesn't want to tell me something. "Leafpool died saving you".
My immediate reaction is guilt. But why should I feel guilty. I didn't kill her. Then I feel sad. I realise that the reason why Jayfeather didn't call for help is because there is no cat to help him. Leafpool and briarlight are dead, and brightheart's heart won't be so bright. Her mate and sons have died. She must be devastated.
I want to help somehow, but I can't. I can see numerous cats around me, scratched all over, but I can't help. I will be in here long after the others have gone to their own dens. I see sorrelstripe, lionblaze, mousewhisker and cinderheart, with jayfeather jumping between each patient as they need treating.
Cinderheart? I think. Where will she deliver her kits? They are due any day now, her belly is swollen as a balloon. With a great big gash. It is not even half healed and when she delivers her kits, it might come open from the effort. I am worried about her.
As if on cue, cinderheart starts screeching. Jayfeather definitely doesn't need this right now. Cinderheart is kitting.
