TheDarkestShinobi: totally forgot about this part, well I didn't say which Monday? So which ending do you like better? Why?
Start
He doesn't let Sherlock ride in the ambulance with him, and he tells the doctors that he is not to have any visitors for a few hours. Mycroft ignores that request and strolls in after John is patched up. The doctors don't stop him and John sighs at that. Mycroft speaks before John does, so John lets him.
"I'd congratulate you, but that would only upset you." It would. John shifts, his left shoulder aching painfully again. No permanent damage, but lots of physical therapy in the future. Congratulation doesn't explain his appearance. "I wanted to inform you that Moriarty's network is officially disbanded, so you should be safe from retaliation." Mycroft motions to the box in his hand as he steps forward and puts it on the table. "The code is an old address." 221B then. "I felt this should be returned, despite circumstances." It being illegal and part of the investigation are two very big ones as far as John is concerned. "There is also a sizeable severance package and the bounty."
Bounty. Sebastian Moran's bounty. John clenches his jaw.
"Get out Mycroft." Mycroft takes a step back to stand in his initial spot. John clenches his fist and lowers his tone of voice. "Get out Mycroft." When John is left to his thoughts he puts his head in his hands and wonders what he is going to do.
When John is released, he finds it odd that he hasn't been visited by Sherlock. It is odd that Sherlock respect a request of his, except for, now, his last one. John fills out the paperwork and looks up to see the detective.
"Sherlock." He greets, noting his voice has gotten a little weak. Sherlock gives him a smile, a real but pained smile and holds his hand out for the completed paperwork. John watches Sherlock return it for him and frowns.
"I have a car that can take us back." Not Mycroft's car, John infers. Sherlock is asking in his roundabout way and John nods tiredly as he follows the other into the car.
They would always sit close together in cabs, knees brushing or shoulders bumping on turns. It's different today and Sherlock knows there is more between them than the space in the car. Sherlock has instructed the driver to take them on one of the longer route because Sherlock wants as much time with John as possible. A few minutes into the ride, Sherlock hears John sigh and looks down before looking straight up.
"John, I," He starts before quitting and John understands.
"It's okay." He says back, and Sherlock wonders if John could really be so selfless enough for this to all be okay.
John never disserved any of this, especially not from someone like Sherlock, who can't give him anything in return. Except, maybe he can. John is always so raw and honest and does things Sherlock would never ask for. Kill this man to save my life, John? Make sure I don't starve to death, John? Clear my name while I die, John?
Wait for me, John?
Sherlock watches John look out the window and bites his lip looking down. He could give John something John would never ask for, an explanation.
"I had to destroy Moriarty," he says quietly, so quietly John has to strain to hear. Sherlock looks to his hands and John wonders what Sherlock has had to do in those years. "He threatened to kill you if I didn't jump." And John listens as Sherlock outlines his plans for taking down Moriarty's network. He explains how it was the thought of coming back home that got him through most nights. He explains that the voice in his head became John's. He tells John that he was indifferent the first time he took a life, but as time went on and the blood on his hands grew he couldn't sleep. Their voices would haunt him and he couldn't bring himself to delete them. John expects Sherlock to be someone detached from the whole thing, and that's how it starts, but by the end of it, Sherlock's eyes are filled with tears and his hands are shaking.
John realizes what Sherlock is saying, doing, even between the lines. He is telling John something that no one knows to make up for what he couldn't know.
"It was all to save my life then." Sherlock nods.
"Yours, Ms. Hudson and Lestrade," He says quietly, "but yours," Sherlock shakes his head, "yours was the only one I would put above mine and," Sherlock trails off but John knows what he means, and above theirs, above everyone Sherlock had encountered. John knows he can pry further and get everything or he can start them over.
"And you took the network down."
"I destroyed it." His voice is rough now. "I destroyed everything that had to do with him." John nods.
"So, seen a lot of injuries then." Sherlock looks to John, confused. "Violent deaths." Sherlock scrunches his face up in confusion before frowning slightly.
"Well, yes." John smiles and Sherlock's smile follows.
"Bit of trouble too, I bet." John moves closer to Sherlock to nudge him and Sherlock almost closes his eyes at the feel of John's skin against him, John's acceptance for him.
"Of course. Yes. Enough for a lifetime." John turns towards him a bit and Sherlock catches the bandages sticking out from his shirt. "Far too much." John licks his lips and then smirks.
"Want to see some more?"
"Oh, god yes." Sherlock finishes and the both of them are laughing again, as one. The pair of them seems to be okay. Sherlock watches John shake his head as he giggles to the ground and marvels at him. Once again John gives him something he will never ask for.
Will you forgive me, John?
And the answer, the John Watson answer to everything Sherlock will never ask, is
Always.
End.
