Disclaimer: Stephenie Meyer owns all things Twi...

Kelly... I have no words to express just how much I heart you! I really don't know how you put up with me, but I'm so glad you do. Thanks for keeping me on task and inspiring me when I get lost in my own thoughts...even if you don't do it on purpose *wink*

Minions... Thank you! You guys really know how to make me feel like I'm halfway descent at this, lol!

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A real friend never gets in your way – unless you happen to be on your way down.

- Anonymous

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Chapter 9

Edward POV

I found Jasper quickly. He was only a mile away from where Alice and I had been, trailing a small herd of deer. I wasn't surprised—Alice was Jasper's entire world and he wouldn't have been far from her, if he could help it.

As soon as I was within range, he started sending waves of calm my way. I felt my shoulders relax just a bit.

"Thank you, Jasper…"

No problem

We bagged two deer each, then headed back to the house. I had been back in Forks for eight hours, but had only spoken with my family about Victoria. I hadn't even made it to my room. My relationship with Alice and Jasper seemed to pick up right where we left off, and I hoped it would be the same with the rest of my family.

Alice leaving me to my own devices had not been the best idea. Without the wolves' goofy comments reminding me how much I had missed my sister, I had the free space in my mind to try to figure out what Alice was keeping from me. Aggravation began to surpass heights that even Jasper's talents couldn't overcome as I approached my front door. Jasper remained outside on the porch.

Want to see her as soon as she gets back…

I nodded and walked into the house. Honestly, I understood how he felt. I felt the same way about Bella, only I had the added pressure of perpetually making the love of my life miserable. It was taking all of my strength to wait for Alice, instead of going straight to Bella in attempt to make this right. But I had told Alice I would put my trust in her, and I intended to keep my word. I also had the feeling Jasper was a little worn out with all the emotions he had to contend with since returning to Forks. I couldn't imagine how tough it must have been for him to be around me for the past few hours, let alone dealing with Bella and our family before that.

Bella. I could smell her as soon as I entered the house. It was faint, but no less intoxicating. It seemed as though there were traces of her scent in the living room, the kitchen and on the stairs. As soon as I recognized the scent I wanted to follow it. Maybe if I did, I could pretend that Bella was just upstairs or around the corner, waiting for me.

Edward…I need to talk to you.

Rosalie and Emmett were in the living room on the couch where Bella had been sleeping only hours before, watching football. Emmett was singing University of Tennessee fight song in his head over and over even though that wasn't one of the teams he was watching. I had no idea what he could be trying to keep from me, but at that moment Bella was foremost in my mind, so I didn't really care. Carlisle and Esme were upstairs, focused on trying to develop plans of action to stay the Volturi's hand, and consciously making the effort to give me some space. The only member of my family who seemed to be hell bent on having my attention at the moment was Rose. I had temporarily forgotten about her need to apologize to me, but she would just have to wait. I wanted to continue following Bella's bouquet.

"Rose, I don't have time for this right —" I started as I moved toward the stairs, but Rosalie cut me off.

"Emmett."

Suddenly, I was slammed against the far wall of the living room, immobilized under the strength of my bear-like brother.

"What the—"

Sorry, Eddie. Rose has some things she wants to say to you, but she knew you probably wouldn't let her get it out, so she asked me to help…can't say this isn't kinda fun, though…by the way, you smell almost as bad as Alice. What the hell were you and the midget doing out there?

Emmett's ramblings only added to my irritation. My reply was a guttural snarl. They were both able to surmise my intent, despite the fact that I was beyond words.

"No! Edward, please…let me get this out…"

I suppressed a growl and met my sister's eyes. Hearing her out was unnecessary, but her thoughts were remorseful and contrite…well, as remorseful and contrite as could be expected for Rosalie. Besides, Emmett was having too much fun to let me go right now, especially if Rosalie still wanted me stationary. "Spit it out, Rose." I grunted in acquiescence.

"Edward, I'm sorry I called you about Bella. I know you said you didn't want us to contact you and I should have respected your wishes. It was selfish of me to go against them, but I really wanted my family back together and happy…plus, I really thought you deserved to know…" Rosalie's apology dropped off and she began biting her lip. I wanted to tell her that I was mad at her and would never forgive her, but lying was what had gotten me in this horrendous situation with Bella. Being less than truthful with anyone else I cared for, no matter how maddening they were, could not be a good thing.

"Rose, you were right to call me. I would have wanted to know. I should be here. The longer I'm back, the more apparent it becomes that I should have never left."

"So, you aren't mad at me, then?"

"No, I was going to thank you eventually, but what with Bella seeming to be in multiple life threatening situations at once, I thought I'd wait."

Rosalie's trademark smirk appeared on her face instantly.

Of course, I was right…don't know why I was worried in the first place…

"Yes, Rose, you were right. Will you call off Emmet 'Great Grizzly' Cullen now?"

"You can let him go now, Emmett." Rosalie mumbled indifferently as she returned to the couch and changed the channel from ESPN to the Style network.

"What if I don't want to just yet?" He replied with a smirk of his own.

"Emmett, let him go, please." Esme called softly from behind the study door. Emmett cocked his head, his grin widening as he released me.

"Welcome home, little brother…" he chuckled.

I didn't have desire or patience to banter. As soon as Emmett set me free, I went back to following Bella's scent, not even looking back at my brother and sister. Her fragrance was mixed with Alice's so it wasn't as pure as I would have liked, but it was still the most enthralling perfume I had ever experienced. The trail led to my room. I stopped at my door and filled with anticipation. Had she been in my room? Would I be able to close the door and just let her aroma swirl around me until Alice returned? My hopes were dashed as soon as I passed through the doorway. Only Alice's scent was evident in my room. I almost turned back, just so that I could return to Bella's scent, but could not get my body to follow the desires of my baleful heart. I didn't deserve her. I never had…not her body (no matter how often she had offered it), not her blood (no matter how many times she had told me she didn't care), and definitely not her love (which I had thrown away like the ass that I am). Instead of returning to the hallway, I closed the door of my room and backed away from it before I could tempt myself into further destruction. I sat there for hours, listening to music that matched my mood and recalling every moment of my relationship with Bella. At some point, Alice returned. I heard her thoughts as she approached, but called to me before I could move.

Edward, just stay where you are…I'm going to go hunt…I'll be back in a few hours and we'll talk, okay?

Alice saw my decision as I returned to my musings. She and Jasper immediately left to hunt, as I continued to berating my self. I had destroyed the first instance of true happiness I had had since Carlisle turned me into the monster that I was… ruined it in an effort to protect her. Would I ever learn? How could I not have seen the damage my decisions would cause? I would try to wait for Bella to heal, as Alice had asked, but every second without her was torturous. As the sun set, my mind wandered back to Alice. What could she be planning? And why was I letting her help me fix a situation that was completely my fault? Alice shouldn't have to clean up my messes…I should clean them up myself… Thinking of Alice made me more acutely aware of her scent in my room. The more I thought about it, the less her presence in my room made sense. Dread seeped into my core as I followed her scent to my closet. She wouldn't have taken it…I told myself, she shouldn't even know about it…

It was gone. Alice had taken the box… Why would she do that? She had no use for it…everything inside was for…oh no…

Comprehension pushed my teetering resolve to follow Alice's advice over the edge.

I jumped out of my bedroom window and ran for Bella's house, hoping Alice was too far away to try to stop me…maybe if I got there in time, I could get it back…if Bella wasn't ready for me to speak to her, how could Alice think it was a good idea to give her that?

NoEdwardNoEdwardNoEdwardNo!

Apparently, today was not the day for me to get what I wanted on any front. At least Jasper wasn't with her.

"I need to see her, Alice"

Oh, really? You need to see her? Did you even stop to think that maybe Bella might be better off if she didn't see you just yet? In fact, isn't that what I JUST TOLD YOU A LITTLE WHILE AGO?

"If I see her then I can figure out how to fix things between us, Alice. I need her."

Wow. I don't think you quite understand the situation, Edward. You broke her…not only did you leave, but when you left you told her that you didn't want her anymore…how did you think that was going to affect her?

I wanted to question just how she thought the box would affect Bella, but I was sidetracked by the fact that Alice knew about my horrendous words.

"How do you know what I said to her, Alice?" I asked quietly as shame filled me. I always knew that my family would be hurt if the knew the truth behind my breakup with Bella, Alice most of all.

I was keeping an eye on you two in the meadow through my visions so I heard everything Bella said before Jacob showed up… I can't believe you lied to her like that, Edward.

"I had to, Alice. She wanted to come with me…it was the most blasphemous thing I could have uttered, but it was the only thing I could think of to keep her away from us…to keep her safe."

And look how well that turned out.

"You couldn't possibly be more upset with me than I am with myself, Alice." I whispered in defeat, stopping in my tracks so that my sister could catch up. Her tone softened.

Bella isn't a duck, Edward. Things don't just roll off of her back, you know? I know that she still loves you – I believe it with all my heart – but this is still a delicate situation. Now is not the time to profess your love…

Alice reached me then. As she came to a stop in front of me, she let her guard slip just enough for me to see what she had left me to go do this morning…

"The dog is in Bella's house?!?"

"Yes, Edward, he is. And even though Jacob is blocking my visions, the events of the morning are leading me to believe that you going over there right now is a bad idea…"

I growled as my frustration bubbled within me. Why couldn't my sister see reason?

"Alice, I have to make sure Bella's alright ­– "

"And you will…you just have to trust me. Now isn't the time…but soon, okay?"

I wanted to go to Bella's house anyway and I was about push past Alice and do just that when she relented.

"Fine, Edward. I'll compromise. We'll stay outside of the house, but close enough to hear if anything happens. That way you know she's fine and we don't provoke Jacob."

"I don't care about provoking the dog, Alice."

"You should. If he hurts her, it would kill you. If Jacob hurts you, or you hurt him, it would destroy her. Anyway you look at it, Bella suffers."

"She'd get over it…" I said, though I knew Alice was right. My words were just a feeble attempt to convince us both otherwise so that I could be with Bella immediately, come what may.

Alice took my hand with sympathy in her eyes.

"No, Edward, she wouldn't. But if we hang out in her backyard for the rest of the night, at least you can listen to her heartbeat until school tomorrow."

"School tomorrow?"

"Tomorrow is Monday, Edward, and Spring Break is over. Now that the family is back, we can't neglect…"

My mind raced as my vision of Alice blurred. I was going to school tomorrow…Bella was going to school tomorrow…the dog didn't go to Forks High…I would finally have a chance to make this right without canine intrusion...

It took me a moment to realize that Alice had stopped talking. I allowed my eyes to refocus on my sister. Alice giggled. Yeah, I thought that might lift your spirits.

Apparently, I was smiling. More accurately, my face was illuminated. The promise of interacting with Bella in a few hours had raised me from the depths of my despair and all lingering worries were momentarily pushed aside.

"Come on, Edward. Let's go stalk the love of your life…"

Bella POV

The evening had been relatively peaceful. The pizzas came, and everyone was fed (though I was right about needing an extra one for Jake—he basically inhaled his Deep Dish Meat Lover's), then we went back to watching TV. Charlie never asked about the Cullens, but I could tell that he knew. He couldn't seem to relax completely, and every now and then he would glance at me, making sure I wasn't returning to my pre-Jake stage of mourning, complete with blank stares. Charlie had every reason to suspect that I would fall apart. Truthfully, if it hadn't been for Jake's presence, I probably would have gone upstairs, locked myself in my room and let myself shatter. It bothered me to know that the hurt my emotional breakdown would cause my father wouldn't be enough to stop me from going to pieces. But, as was evident before Jake and I had started hanging out, I wasn't a great actress. So if I tried to act as if nothing was wrong, Charlie would notice and it would defeat the whole purpose of my efforts…and becoming a zombie again was not an option.

It had been about an hour since Charlie kicked Jacob out of the house and went to bed. A few moments after Charlie started snoring I heard a light sporadic tapping, and unlocked my window right away to let Jake in. I can't say that it didn't make me feel better to know that he was going to be keeping me company during the night. The need for Jake's presence just barely overshadowed my certainty that keeping him with me was leading him on. As he climbed into my window, I could tell that he was thrilled that I let him stay.

God, I'm gonna break his heart…

"You should probably try to sleep some more… wanna lie down?" Jake asked as we stood there looking at each other. I was so lost in my thoughts that neither of us had moved since Jake had climbed into the window. If I hadn't been looking at him when he spoke I might have thought he was hitting on me or trying to be funny, but there was only concern in his eyes.

"Um, yeah, I guess." I mumbled. I climbed onto my bed and turned on my side to look at Jake. He did not join me, opting instead to tuck the covers over me and sit on the floor between my bed and nightstand with his back against the wall. His arms were long enough that even from the floor Jake was able to throw one arm around me. The warmth that emanated from his body was comforting, and it quelled the fire that was on the verge of raging within my torso. I was immediately glad Jake was staying for the night, though I knew it was a craptastic thing to do.

"I meant to ask you…Embry said that you were talking in your sleep while I was with Sam this morning." Jake whispered.

"I was, huh?" I replied as I tried to hold my mortification at bay. Lord only knew what I had said in my sleep this time. My nocturnal admissions continued to get me in trouble.

"Yeah, I mean, I know you do that a lot anyway, but he said you mentioned something about diamonds…what were you dreaming about diamonds for?"

"I don't remember…" I whispered, anxious to change the subject, "Wasn't there something you wanted to give me?" Telling Jake that I had been dreaming of Edward would not be a good idea, but luckily for me, he didn't seem to notice my desperation.

"Oh, yeah!" Jake quickly reached into the pocket of his cutoff sweats and pulled out a small, but beautifully woven bag. "I was going to wait to give it to you for your graduation, but I think you could probably use it now." Jake turned the bag over and a thin bracelet poured into the palm of his hand.

"Oh wow, Jake! It's beautiful!" I whispered excitedly as I took the bracelet from his hand and examined it. It was a delicate silver link bracelet. Attached to one of the links was an equally delicate wooden wolf. The carving could have been a miniature replica of Jake when he was in wolf form, and even the color of the wood matched the russet brown of his fur.

"I carved the wolf myself." he boasted mildly. "It took forever to whittle the block of wood down into the right shape. It seems as if you genuinely like it though, so I guess it was worthwhile."

"I do. I love it, Jake..." I said. It was the truth, but even as I said it, I wanted to cry. Did I have to use the word 'love'? God, I could have smacked myself. Jacob seemed to swell when I told him how much I liked his gift. He deserved so much more than me. How do I navigate this situation without losing my best friend? I couldn't give the bracelet back. He had put so much effort into it that I would insult him if I even tried. I tabled that particular internal debate and instead tried to get him to explain himself "I don't understand though. You said that I could 'use' it…?"

"Oh, right. Well, I don't think I'll be able to go to school with you tomorrow, Bella. My grades aren't so hot, and I know Sam would flip if I failed the 10th grade…"

"Jake, You know I'll study with you, and help you get your grades up—Wait… What are you even talking about? Why would you even go to school with me in the first place?" I had the feeling I was missing something important…again.

"I think he might show up…"

Ow…the edges of the hole in my torso were instantly inflamed. Jacob pulled me closer to the edge of the bed as I grasped at my sides. Jacob's arm remained tight around me, helping me keep myself together. A lot had happened over the last week, but how could I have completely forgotten that it was Spring Break? …and that break was now over.

My chest hurt so badly that a desperate moan escaped my mouth despite my best efforts to keep it inside.

"Bella, listen to me, okay?" Jake took his hand and turned my face so that we were making eye contact. The fact that our faces were so close together did not escape my attention, but I was still so shocked that the proximity of Jake's lips to mine just wasn't a top priority. "I know you have it in you to be strong. I need you to be strong tomorrow. Remember what he did to you. He left you Bella, and if I'm right, he's gonna try to talk to you tomorrow… possibly to try to get you back." Jacob's face was pained at first, but he quickly threw on an encouraging smile. Even though I didn't want Jake to think he and I could be together, he had to know that Edward had no desire for me anymore.

"Jake, he doesn't – "I started, but Jacob cut me off.

"You told me already, Bells, but let's just pretend you're wrong. Let's say he does want you back. I want you to remember who you are and what happened when he left…you know those 'What Would Jesus Do' bracelets?"

I nodded, but remained silent. I wasn't sure where he was going with this, but I let him get it out.

"Think of this as a 'What Would Jake Say' bracelet…or even better, 'What Would I Say if Jake Was Doing This, Instead of Edward'…you always seem to tell me exactly what's on your mind when I piss you off." He said, ending his explanation with a chuckle.

"Jake, I don't think I'll have to – "All of this was pointless. Edward didn't want me anymore, but Jake interrupted me a second time.

"We're pretending I'm right, remember? I know…far-fetched concept, but could you humor me, please?"

I was too emotionally spent to muster any more protest. I held the bracelet up with one hand and nodded, "Okay, Jake. Put it on…"

Jake took the bracelet and placed it on my wrist.

"We should both sleep now, Bells…tomorrow's gonna be a long day…" Jake said as he leaned back against the wall, keeping his arm around me.

In my mind, I began giggling. There was a strange, nervous edge to my hysteria.

Long was probably going to be the understatement of the century, whether Jake was right or not…

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Author's note: Thanks to all of my readers! I'm so glad you guys are still with me, lol! Let me know what you think and if you have any ideas, don't hesitate to throw them in a review. OH! and don't forget to check out the playlist! The link is in my profile and we just updated it the other day!

FYI: I've given up on trying to figure out a new title. We're gonna stick with Seeing Red so don't worry about not being able to find this story later, lol!

P.O.C: Jake was not comparing himself to the Messiah. He was just giving a pop culture (albeit religious) frame of reference. I apologize if it offends anyone.

UPDATE: I started a thread on (the other place where this story is posted) .?f=33&t=5030

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