Author's Note: Read and enjoy!

Rachel's teeth are clenched tightly, jaw locked as she stares at herself in the mirror. Why can't she just BE Noah? Wouldn't that just make all of her problems disappear? Noah Puckerman, the man who doesn't realize that he has everything. He's got the love of the two people she cherishes most in this world and he barely lifted as much as a finger to get it.

It's so easy with him. That's the part that really kills her. Noah can be with Quinn and it makes sense, two pieces of the puzzle that fit together like it's meant to be. Not like her and Quinn. Making them fit together is like twisting at something, contorting it in the most painful way possible. And the end result will only ever be an illusion of something that works.

Her eyes slide to the clock in Beth's room. 6:25. She thinks that by now they're definitely snuggled up in a booth, appetizers forgotten as they lose themselves in the past and in each others' company. When Noah came to pick Quinn up, promptly at 6, she had forced herself half way down the stairs to watch like some sick glutton for punishment. He had changed for dinner, dressed himself down in an olive-hued sweater that complimented his brawny frame and made his eyes simmer. Quinn hadn't done much besides add a white cardigan to the skirt and blouse she had been wearing and let her hair out of a ponytail. She looked stunning, like always. The blonde had spoken to her before they left but her words hadn't quite made it up the stairs. Something about Beth being held up at school with Coach Sylvester and ice cream in the fridge. Rachel nodded her head and forced a smile but all she could focus on was what beautiful couple they made. And in that moment, the outcome to all of it just seemed inevitable. Mr. and Mrs. Puckerman with their lovely daughter Beth, the perfect family.

Accept it, she tells herself. Just accept that Quinn isn't meant to be hers. Stop making up battles that can't even be fought, let alone won. And she tries. To her credit, Rachel does try. Wishing that Beth were around to distract her, Rachel sets about the house trying to move on. She cleans Beth's room and alphabetizes both her paltry book collection and comparatively voluminous DVD collection. She cleans Beth's bathroom as well before heading downstairs. Turning on the TV she gets through a full ten minutes of Wheel of Fortune before turning it off. She even tries calling her father on his cell phone. No answer. Rachel still isn't ready to see them again. Quinn's words were comforting but she feels like a terrible person all the same. What kind of daughter avoids her father when he's seriously hurt? The ringing of the phone feels like a blessing because Rachel isn't sure what she'll do if she lingers on the subject for too long.

Crossing over to the kitchen she picks up the phone, cradling the receiver between her cheek and shoulder. "Hello, um, Fabray/Puckerman residence."

"Hi my name is Brittany S. Pierce, not to be confused with pop legend Britney Spears, can I talk to Beth please?"

"Brittany?"

"Yeah…I said that, right? No Lord Tubbington, I will NOT pick you up from your art lesson right now, stop texting me!"

"This is Rachel Berry, I'm currently staying at Beth's house. She's not here."

"Ooh, hi Rachel! So is this like that show where the moms switch houses? Is Beth at your house right now? I really need her help so if you could give me your phone number I'd really appreciate it."

"No, no, Beth's still living here, she's just not here right now. I think she's still with Coach Sylvester going over new Cheerio routines."

"Oh. Could you help me then?"

"I'll try. What's going on?"

"Well, you see, I still have Santana's car and I'm supposed to pick her up from her date with Finn at Breadstix but I got lost trying to find it."

Rachel tries to keep the bemused tone out of her voice. "You get lost a lot, don't you Brittany?"

"Yeah, pretty much every day. Usually San's around to help me though but today's been weird without her. Good thing you've been around."

Rachel smiles at this. "Ok Brittany, I'll help you but do you think you could do me a favor in return?"

"Yeah definitely but I don't think we can go past anything more than kissing cause Santana would be totally mad at me and she'd probably try to kill you."

"No, no, not that kind of favor," Rachel flushes at the though. "I need you to drop me off at the hospital so I can see my Dad." The words came out without her really thinking about them but once she did it felt right. Time to stop wallowing and bite the bullet. Her dads have done so much for her in the past; she needs to be there for them too.

"Ok, as long as you give me directions."

"Of course. Thank you, Brittany."

It's not easy but Rachel stays on the phone with Brittany for a good twenty minutes helping her to get un-lost. The blonde arrives in front of Beth's house and with a quick prayer up to whomever Rachel climbs in the car with her for the second time that day.

"You're sure you don't want me to drive, Brittany?" It felt like days had passed since that morning but a few minutes in the car and Brittany's unique driving technique all came back to Rachel.

"Nooo, Santana would kill me if I let anyone but her or me drive. Hopefully she won't be mad that I gave you a ride again. She was not happy this morning. And I would hate to see you beat her up again, that was scary."

"Yeah," Rachel blushes again, "I'm really sorry about that. I don't know what came over me."

"It was scary but I kind of liked seeing you be different like that. I think San did too, deep down."

"Hmm, well I don't think anyone will be seeing that side of me again any time soon. I basically go suspended for it. Oh, take a right at this stop sign."

"Breadstix, there it is!" Before she can say anything Brittany's pulled into the parking lot. Somehow Rachel had completely forgotten that the restaurant would be before the hospital.

"Uhh Brittany, I know it's a little excessive but could you actually drop me off at the hospital first?" She really can't be here. The temptation to check up on Quinn and Noah's date has struck her fast, a bolt of lightning straight to her heart.

Brittany looks at Rachel, cocking her blonde head to the side in the same way a dog does when it's confused. "What does ex..essive mean?" Rachel doesn't say anything. It's difficult enough to keep herself from jumping out of the car and running into the restaurant like a maniac, so a quick English lesson for Brittany feels out of the question. "And like, I know you need to get the hospital but we're already here. I just gotta go in and get Santana, I'll be real quick. I promise!" Before Rachel can get a word in edge-wise Brittany has bounded out of the car and is already halfway across the parking lot.

Rachel exhales, pursing her lips. "Ok, this is fine. I'm fine." Shutting her eyes Rachel tries to keep her mind clear and Quinn-free. She tries to think of what she'll say when she finally talks to her Dad but nothing is coming to her. How does a person apologize for being so selfish? Thinking about it just puts her more on edge. The seconds drag on. The clock in Santana's car is broken but Rachel is sure she's been waiting for twenty minutes now. Where was Brittany? Her fingers flirt dangerously with the handle to the car door, tracing its outline with a jittery fervor. She wants to fight so badly to be better. It was only an hour or so ago that she swore to stop caring about Quinn and here she is, already on the brink of relapse.

Like an addict her mind starts to betray her, conjuring up loopholes and hypothetical scenarios where leaving the car becomes absolutely necessary. It's feels hot in the car, stuffy and suffocating. Hypothetically Rachel thinks she could pass out. Or what about Brittany? The girl should be back by now. What if something happened to her? Maybe Santana got mad because she allowed Rachel in the car again. And then there was her ever-looming visit to the hospital. Would it be so wrong to go into Breadstix to get Brittany or Santana or someone to drive her there? Every second counted when someone was in the hospital, didn't it?

Rachel isn't sure what does the trick, genuine concern or the guise of it. The truth of the matter is that she doesn't care. All she knows is that the car door is opening, as if by magic and the door to Breadstix is getting closer and closer with every step she takes. At the entrance, she pauses. If there's a moment for retreat it's now. She could run back to the car and lock herself in. Forget about Quinn.

But she can't. Rachel opens the door and cautiously edges her way into the large dining room. Standing off to the side her eyes search out Quinn and Noah, finding them at a far table close to the back of the restaurant. She realizes that she has no idea what she was planning to do after seeing them together at the restaurant. Was her mind truly sick enough to believe she could march over there and drag Quinn away, profess her love and then they would ride off into the sunset together? "What am I doing here?" She rips her gaze away from them and instead looks around for Brittany or Santana, neither of whom are anywhere to be found. "If they're making out in the bathroom or something I am going to Kill Brittany."

"Rachel?" A hand on her shoulder snaps Rachel's attention the presence of someone beside her. It's Finn Hudson.

"Finn, hi!" She exclaims, her surprise raising the volume of her voice obnoxiously.

"Uh…hi. How's it going?"

"Fine, fine." Things between her and Finn had been awkward ever since their first year in glee club together. They had a brief flirtation and even kissed once but it had never really amounted to anything. He was a nice enough guy but Rachel equated Finn, much like Brittany, to a dopey but loveable puppy. Not her type in the least.

"Are you having dinner here or something?"

"Um, no, actually, I'm waiting for Brittany. She's picking up Santana here. Wait, aren't you and Santana supposed to be on a date right now?"

"Yeah," Finn scratches his neck, staring at the ground. "We were having dinner but then Brittany came over to our table and they both went to the bathroom. They've been in there for a while now."

"I knew it." Rachel mutters under her breath.

"Yeah I paid the bill and now I'm not sure if I should stick around or not. We were planning on going back to my place and…uh…"

"Oh." Rachel studies Finn. He obviously had no idea about Santana and Brittany. It was actually kind of amazing considering they were two of the least subtle people she had ever met. She feels bad for him but how could someone be so completely and utterly clueless when the truth was right in from of them? It reminds her of Quinn, actually. Quinn. Rachel's attention returns to the couple's table. Quinn is laughing and Noah has a smug grin on his face. And then he's leaning across the table, eyes glittering with intent. Rachel knows she should look away. It's a destiny she can't fight and watching it unfold will only hurt her. But she can't.. Her bottom row of teeth digs into her lip and pain seems to ground her a little. Brown eyes take in the moment hungrily like only a true sadist can.

Their lips meet and they truly appear as some glamour advertisement for love. The way his large hands cup the delicate frame of her face. They are perfect and Rachel feels it wash over her like the current of a wave, trapping her beneath the surface and leaving her with no oxygen to breathe.

"I-I really have to go. Sorry, Finn." She can't escape fast enough, bolting out of the restaurant and into the parking lot. The image of their kiss is seared in her mind. Like a hysterical, blind woman she staggers around until finally propping herself against one of the dumpster along the side of the restaurant.

This was always how it was going to end. Quinn and Noah in their perfect little fairytale and Rachel in a nightmare she can't wake up from. She had to have known that. And she did, but she let herself fall into it anyways. Her head falls back, hitting the metal of the dumpster with a dull thud. What now?

From where she is Rachel can see the door to Breadstix. She watches it open, a bewildered Finn walking out. He looks around and she wonders if he's looking for her. Giving up after a minute or so he walks to his car and pulls out of the parking lot. The door opens again and Rachel's sure it's going to be Brittany. She's ready to pounce on the girl, yell at her until she's hoarse for disappearing. But it's not Brittany. It's Quinn.

The blonde stumbles out of the restaurant not unlike the way Rachel had left it herself. She shields her eyes from the setting sun like it burns her. Noah is nowhere to be seen. Something is wrong. "Quinn!" Rachel doesn't know what makes her call out.

Turning at the sound of her name, Quinn sees Rachel. They lock eyes and something about the interaction seems to make something click for Quinn. Her hands fall away from her face, posture straightens. Calmly she begins to make her way over to Rachel. And Rachel finds herself rooted to the spot. She couldn't move if she wanted to, if an asteroid was barreling towards her and all she had to do was step sideways she couldn't. Quinn's gaze holds her still like an iron trap clamped around her heart.

Soon they're only a few feet from each other. "Quinn?" The older woman doesn't stop, keeps inching closer until barely a whisper of space separates them. "What are you…" Quinn's lips silence her. She kisses Rachel with an urgency that's contagious. It makes Rachel want to grab hold of her and push her to the ground, straddle her on the pavement. But she's afraid, terrified of ruining the moment, having it pop before her eyes like a bubble and being left with nothing all over again. So she stays still, giving herself over willingly and completely. Quinn presses her against the side of the building, hands reaching up and cupping Rachel's cheeks. With her last coherent thoughts Rachel thinks that Quinn is kissing her the same way Noah kissed her only moments ago. It's confusing and fucked up but she just doesn't' care because nothing in her entire life has ever felt as right as this moment.

A/N: Yeahhh, that's right people, we're FINALLY getting somewhere! Hope you're as excited as I am for the next chapter. Should be EPIC.