Part 9

"Is this supposed to be some type of fuc- freakin' intervention?" River asked, pointedly ignoring Paul's question, "Because, seriously, in these past two weeks I've been better than you'd imagine."

"You have? How?" Mark raised an eyebrow, "Explain how."

"I eat every day. Sometimes I'll eat three times a day-"

"Have you kept it all down?" he interrupted.

"That was one time! And the circumstances were a bit different," River argued, "I haven't weighed myself and I haven't let the trainers do it either."

"Which is what worries me, River," Jodi cut in, "You say that you're eating but is anyone seeing you eat? You say you haven't weighed yourself but has anyone been around to prove it? That's how it started."

River turned to Zacharias, "Is she really going there? She doesn't even know how it fuc- sorry, freakin' started."

"Will someone please explain to me what is going on? What is wrong with your health?" Paul asked again. All eyes turned to River; they knew she was the only person who could tell him. It was her disorder and she would only tell people she was comfortable with knowing.

"Why did you get Zacharias a job?" she asked as she turned towards Mark, again ignoring Paul.

"I wanted someone here that you knew, someone who understood. You need friends around here, darlin'. Paul and some of the other boys said ya totally stopped talkin' to all of 'em. I figured it'd do ya some good to have someone who was on your side," Mark explained.

"Well that was a dumb idea," she stated bluntly.

"Thanks, River. I feel so loved over here."

River rolled her eyes and went on, "Did you even think about that fact that he is recoverin' just as much as I am? God, with him here, it's goin' to be impossible to keep from competin' with him. We'll try to see who can lose weight first and who can do it the fastest-"

"Actually, I've been doin' really well for the past two years. I needed to get away from the people who were tellin' me I wasn't okay," Zacharias said to the suddenly quiet room.

"And that's what I'm doin'. If y'all will just leave me alone for a while-"

"We're not goin' to leave you alone!" Mark shouted.

"Why not? You had no problem doin' it when ya wanted me outta your house. She's had no problem doin' it for the past four years. I'm alone on the road anyway. I have a routine here. I need my routine here. It's all I know right now and if y'all try comin' in here and actin' like a hero it'll fuck up everythin' I've worked so hard for since I got out of the damned religious rehab facility she sent me to-"

"River that's enough. You're not gonna disrespect your mamma like that," Mark said sternly.

"Respect is earned," River scoffed, "Isn't that what y'all drilled into me and Gunner? Or does that only apply to y'all respectin' us? 'Cause as far as I was concerned, I had the utmost respect for her until the day she threw me out her house and didn't look back. I was the fuck up child and she couldn't handle me."

"You didn't respect yourself, River," Jodi countered, "You still don't respect yourself. We taught you better than that, your father and I. We brought you up to be proud of who you were and what you had. We didn't teach you to throw it all away by not eating anything and working out so much that you passed out and had to be rushed to the damn hospital because no one knew what was wrong with you."

The room stood silent for a good minute before River spoke, with tears in her eyes and a shaky voice, "I have a psychological and biological disorder called anorexia nervosa. It's an eatin' disorder and basically it makes countin' calories and carbohydrates and food, in general an obsessive compulsion. I have an irrational fear of eatin', gainin' weight, and not losin' weight. It's not somethin' I have very much control over, no matter how much I've tried."

Slowly she turned to look at Paul, "When I was 17, a few months before I was goin' to graduate high school, I told my mom that I'd already eaten dinner with some friends. I'd had an early mornin' track practice, a full day of school with a gym class, and an afternoon track practice. I lied about eatin'. She got on my case about how I'd gone out to eat, fast food, just about every night that week. I remember her sayin' somethin' about gainin' weight in places I wouldn't want it and thinkin' that if she knew she wouldn't be eggin' me on. She basically gave me permission to keep goin' that night, at least in my head it seemed that way.

"I passed out that night. I was walkin' down the stairs to watch a movie with my brother and just collapsed," River shook her head and ran a hand through her red hair, "I don't remember much about the hospital, but I remember Sara bringin' Chasey and Gracie and them sayin' that they hoped I felt better. I tried to promise myself then that I'd fix myself and put myself back together. But that stupid rehab facility didn't help."

"That place was a living hell," Zacharias added, "They were horrible to us there."

"That's where Zach and I meet," she explained, "He's the only person I still talk to from there. The only person I really talked to when I was there. The people in charge, nurses or orderlies or whatever, if we didn't eat they'd shove the food all over our faces. Just spread it on and make us wear it all day. That place didn't help, if anythin' they made it worse. When I got out, I kept thinkin' everyone was gonna shove food on my face if I didn't eat it.

"Jodi called up my dad when I graduated high school and um, told him she couldn't handle me anymore. Told him he needed to deal with me," River sniffed, the tears falling silently down her face, "I was technically an adult but I had to be watched like a little kid. It was like bein' on a suicide watch for an eatin' disorder. Sara and Dad were just getting' the divorce finalized, so I kind of got lost in that mess. He talked to Vince and got me a job as part of the crew so that I could be around.

"It didn't really help much. People started talkin', just like they do know, 'cause I knew so many of the guys in the back but I was still so new. Even back then no one knew I was a Calaway-"

"What do they think your name is then?" Jodi asked, slightly shocked.

"Everyone calls her Avery. They think it's her last name," Michelle told her, knowing no one else in the room was going to speak to the women, "Hell, I didn't even know she was Mark's daughter until we were dating for almost a year."

"Then what happened? When you came here? I don't even remember seeing you around," Paul said, ignoring everyone else around them, his eyes never leaving River's and hers never leaving his.

"Life went on," she shrugged, "just I had people here all the time. I wasn't so alone. When the divorce was finalized, Dad was on the road more and we basically lived around here. Believe it or not, this is the first time I've seen Jodi in four years. It's the first time I've even talked to her in four years.

"Then when the older guys started stayin' home more with their families, I started bein' more alone on the road. I didn't have anyone to go home to. But I didn't have anyone here for me either. I just fell back into it, I started not eating again. It's just this fear and I can't explain it enough for you to understand, but I just feel like I'm not good enough if I am a certain weight. If I gain weight, I feel like, I don't even know, it's just being alone on the road has an influence in it as well. If I was small enough I wouldn't be alone anymore. If I was the perfect weight, people would want to be around. It's irrational and I know that, even when I'm doin' it to myself I know it's wrong. I just can't stop it," River explained.

"It doesn't make sense because their brains aren't wired the same way ours are," Zacharias said soothingly

"Why did we have to get the fucked up brains?" River asked, turning to look at him, "Why do we have to be the screw ups? Why can't I be proud of who I am and what I have?"

Mark glared at Jodi, "Do you see what you do? The impression you leave on her? You need to think before you fuckin' speak because the things you tell her stick in her brain like a fly in a spider's web."

"So what do we do?" Paul asked, wanting nothing more than to help, "What can we do to make sure you get better?"


Oh sweet baby Jesus. I was going to wait until tomorrow night to post this, just because I have so much homework and what not to do for my class tomorrow, but since RAW was so delicious to me, I decided to give you this as a happy present!

SandraSmit19: I don't honestly think Mark was in the right by spanking her, I just think he felt that was the only way to get through to her at that moment. And, do not worry about rants, I love reading them!

BaileyRyderOrton:I'm glad you liked it, I absolutely love using cliffhangers. Even, though I'm not a fan of others using them. Too much suspense!

kbelle720:Yes, ma'am, intervention! I am always happy when you are excited about this! Haha, that means you'll keep reading! Though, I have to admit, the next chapter (at least I think that's the one) is pretty technical when it comes to dealing with anorexia, so it might be slightly blah.

Bingobaby:I figured throwing her mom into the scheme would take people for a loop. And yes, that was exactly what you got out of the end, Jodi is her mother and did show up for the intervention. How do you feel now that Paul knows the truth?

If you haven't seen RAW yet, then I wont spoil it for you, but just know that it made this girl very, very happy. And I screamed. Almost as loud as I did when Kane returned! (: