Chapter 9
"And this is the end of our tour," Our tour guide, Vera, says as she gives a bow to us before she leaves. Hermitage Museum was absolutely beautiful and I felt almost bad because I was so dressed down around the elegant, historic, photos. But, I am glad to say that I learned a lot being around here. Past the museum, I've avoided Tobias and I wasn't doing it on purpose it just came to me, it felt like I needed to get away from him for more reasons than one. Every time I saw his dark blue eyes piercing in mines I felt even more guilty and I let Victoria notice that because she kept placing her arms through his and giving me such fake smiles. If only she knew what we did last night.
Gorky Park is a really nice place for me to just relax and get on the Ferris Wheel with my bestfriend, but soon I just felt out of place in my own thoughts and I went towards the bathrooms. I used it and got myself together, hoping that soon I would have this guilt leaving my body and I wouldn't be so confused. I go to leave the bathroom when Tobias steps in front of me, I glance towards our friends who are devouring the ice cream in the cold weather which is confusing. But, judging by their smiling faces and red noses, it seems like they're having a good time, "Can I talk to you?" Tobias questions, "Please?" He questions.
I sigh and follow him to a more secluded area, we sit at the wooden picnic table and I fold my arms for warmth, "What do you want to talk about?" I feel like I already know what he wants to talk about, I just feel like playing it by ear and seeing exactly what he has to say.
"Tris, you know what I want to talk about," His voice is laced with annoyance and his face tells it all, he sighs and clasps his hands together, "Why are you avoiding me?Weren't we just fine this morning?"
I don't feel like talking about that, in all honesty I just want to walk away and go back to my normal life when I didn't have to worry about love relationships, where I can just use my vibrator and call it a day, "Tobias, we can't be together. I don't want to build myself up for some type of relationship that I know isn't going to exist. You probably wasn't even thinking about me-"
"-Tris, I just love how you automatically have an answer. How in the hell do you know that this relationship isn't going to work? You haven't even tried it yet." I remain silent, actually getting slapped in the face with reality, "And if I wasn't thinking about you, I wouldn't have brought you out here. Tris, you just ignite something in me that just makes me feel so different, and you've been here for almost 2 weeks and everyone see's a difference in me."
His words sting with realization and it hurts almost like a bee sting. I take in his features and stare into his eyes that radiate so many emotions it's hard to fish one out, "Tobias. . . if you really say you like me then why are you acting like Victoria is your wife? That night I caught you kissing," I raise my eyebrows, "Explain that."
Tobias face falls and he lets out a dissapointed sigh, "Tris, that was just one time. . . and that doesn't make it right. But, yes, I kissed her. I was ending anything she thought was going on and she asked for one last kiss."
"Great, so if she asks you to have sex with her. . . one last time. You would do it?" Anger boils inside me like I'm sitting on an oven on high, I stand to my feet unfolding my arms and clasping them in front of me, "Tobias obviously you both have feelings for each other so stop hiding them and just confront her. I know that the next time I will be here will be for your beautiful wedding. So, stop fronting and just follow your heart." I don't let him finish, I walk away from him towards the rest of my friends. Christina gives me a worried look but I ignore it and start walking towards the car, unable to unmask my feelings for him. I can't hide it anymore and all of a sudden it feels like high school again.
Our last dinner went by quick with stories shared of our time being here. My things were already packed and I couldn't be happier to get the hell out of Russia and away from that dark-haired man who drives me crazy. I quickly went up to my room after dinner and desert was done and I took a shower, taking time to let the tears of sorrow and sadness slip out of my eyes. I got out of the shower and brushed my teeth, I pulled my wet, curly hair into a bun in hopes it would be dry before morning.
Next thing I knew I was walking downstairs the next morning in my oversize sweatshirt, leggings, UGG's, and curly hair looking like a lion with no make up on. I didn't care how I looked or how my eyes were slightly puffy from crying. I just wanted to get the hell out of here, "Bye, we're going to miss you! Stay in touch." Ana gave me a hug as Victoria stood back beside Tobias, smiling at me with victory as she placed her head on his shoulder but frowned when he brushed her off.
"Yes, I will." I smiled, "Hopefully I can come back and stay at your place."
Her eyes widened with happiness as she shook her head and gave me one last tight hug before she sauntered over to Eric, I already knew they probably had sex with no strings attached. . . for now. I felt like I was on fire and I looked up to see Tobias staring me down with a puppy-dog look on his face and Victoria shooting daggers at me, the mixture of them both was highly uncomfortable. I gave Tobias a nod and wave before I climbed on the plane, no words were said. . . and there were none to be exchanged.
"You need to tame that." Eric said as he ruffled his large hand in my curls, frizzing them up. I sent a swift slap to his hand and proceeded to try and send a kick to his shin, which he doges before laying on the couch, his feet hanging off the sides. He let out a large yawn and placed his hands behind his head before closing his eyes.
"You guys are cute." Christina wiggled her eyebrows as she sat in front of me at the large table with our friends. Instead of sending us back with separate planes, we got one big one that will get us back to the states. I roll my eyes at her before sticking my middle finger up at her, making Edward laugh, "How are you?" She asks lowly and I shrug my shoulders, she knows about the Tobias situation since I told her yesterday and the only thing I could tell her was that I needed to go to the gym and blow off some steam.
I look out the window, watching Tobias get smaller and smaller as we get into the air. He waves his hand before I loose sight of him, "Uriah, pass me that Gin." I point by his head at the alcohol cabinet. I hear Christina, Zeke, and Will gasp then it soon hits Shauna. They are the ones who have seen me get so drunk off of Gin that I've almost ran in the middle of traffic. Zeke, Will, and Shauna know me just to drink Gin for the hell of it or if something is wrong like pain. But, Christina knows the emotional side of me drinking Gin. Uriah slides it to me and I don't bother taking the rocks glass either, I place the bottle up to my lip and buck it back, grimacing at the strong taste.
"What's wrong, stiff? Can't handle a flight?"
"Shut the hell up, Eric. Before I throw you out." I throw one of my pillows at him, hitting him square in the face.
"Tris, are you sure you want to drink so early in the morning. . . on an empty stomach?" Will questions as Christina still stares at me in shock.
I stare at him and then the bottle, doing that for a while, "Yup." I nod and toss the bottle back for once making Uriah laugh and applaud me.
"I like your way of thinking!" A slap up his head comes from Shauna and I roll my eyes and lean against my chair. . . hopefully this will get me through the ride without thinking about him.
[Christina]
"Okay. . alright." I coo as I help Tris on her bed. She laughs and falls on her back, completely drunk out of her mind. Anytime I would pester her with questions and laugh at her maybe record her, but right now I know she's drunk because she's confused about her feelings. Will decided to stay put in the front while I help her into her clothes because he claims he doesn't want to see her naked. . . again. There was countless times he's saw her naked because of the times she was drunk or simply because he doesn't know how to knock, "Are you tired?" I question as she plays with a curl pattern in her head.
She rolls her eyes in her head and gives me a complete annoyed look with her jaw slacked, "Yeah, I tired of bein' hurt." She pouts like a child as I help her out of her bra and into her clothes, "I don't wanna use a vibrator." She groans and turns away from me and crawls on the bed, her face pushed into her mattress and I groan. This is dressing a naked child.
"You wouldn't have to if you had some real d-ck, you should have stayed with Tobias." I comment as I turn her around and she starts fighting me. Actually swinging punches that makes me laugh. I pin her down and get a shirt on her head, "Did you get any while we were in Russia?" I ask, listening with extra ears.
She nods her head and i do a victory dance, I knew it, I knew it, I knew-"Twice, when we came from the club. . . and. . . and. . ." I want to punch some sense in her because she can't seem to get it out of her tiny head, "the next morning. . . yesterday!" She smiles as I shimmy her pants off, "It was great." She sighs with content. I start to twerk mentally instead I remain serious and I finish getting her into bed, leaving some pills, water, and wastebasket beside her. She's out like a light before Will and I are even gone.
[Tris]
Thumping is the first thing I register―whatever morning this is. I don't even have time to notice how bad of a hangover I have before I lean over the side of my bed and pour the contents in my stomach into the wastebasket that I couldn't be more grateful to see before my vomit made a reappearance on my white, plush rug. Groaning, I place the half full basket back on the side of my bed and gulp down the glass of water with the pills left on the bedside table. I couldn't be more grateful for having a friend like Christina to bring me home last night. I don't really remember getting off of the plane or being on the plane after I was halfway through the bottle.
Will always scolds me like a big brother, telling me that I'm so tiny that I can't handle rough liquor at one sitting. . . and I should have listened. And like God wanted to punish me for drinking the sins last night, my phone rings and I groan loudly, "Hello?" I answer, holding back a whimper.
"Cariño!" My mothers loud, slightly thick, Latino voice carries through the phone making me close my eyes, "Christina told me you were back in town and you couldn't even call your own familia to check in?" She talks quick as I hold the phone away from my ear.
"Mom, I'm home. We didn't come in until early this morning and you just woke me up." My voice is hoarse from the stinging of alcohol as it went down my throat.
My mom tsks and I just want to hang up the phone and go to sleep, "Well, get dressed because you and I are going out to eat before you get busy tomorrow. Meet me at Wildberry Pancakes in an hour."
"Alright."
"Alright."
"Bye."
"Bye."
I groan and toss my phone on the bed, turning face down into my pillow and just lay there for a moment. I took 10 minutes of my hour to get myself together before I got out of the bed. I cleaned up a little bit and got rid of the vomit, then I brushed my teeth and took a well needed shower. I walk out of the shower and look at myself in the mirror, scarring myself. I know I'm not going to have all the time in the world because my mother is going to have my ass if I'm more than 10 minutes late. So, I quickly dry off and put on some lotion. I get dressed in a pair of leggings, a black turtleneck, and a nude trench coat for the muggy and chilly weather.
I use some of my foundation and concealer under my eyes to get rid of the bags and any sign of hangover off of my face, black eyeliner goes under my eyes and mascara goes on my eyelashes. I put on some nude lipstick and pair my outfit with my favorite pair of ankle boots. I pull my curly hair into a half up, half down ponytail before I grab my things and rush out of the apartment. I know that I am hungover and in danger of being late, but right now I'd rather look flawless than get cussed out for drinking too much liquor because my mother can tell. I sure hope she doesn't notice my heartbreak.
My mother stands in the parking lot with her hands on her hips. . . she hasn't changed a bit. Her dark blonde hair cascades down her back in loose waves, her green eyes shining with happiness and the dimples my brother and I inherit from her, skimming her cheeks as she gives me a wide grin and wave. She is 45 and doesn't look a day over 38, well, that's what most people tell her. With hips like a model and silky skin like a baby, I couldn't be happier to see her looking healthy.
"Beatrice." She smiles, encasing me in a hug, "Let's go inside then we will talk." The smell of blueberries and bacon would normally send me hunched over a toilet if this were a normal hangover for me, but right now I couldn't want nothing more than to eat the most greasiest burger and fries before going back in for another round of sleep, not a round of talking.
We both order our drinks, a coffee and mango lemonade for me. We also share the bagels with cream cheese and warm toast, "So, tell me all about your trip to Russia. Your father, brother, and I were missing you so much. . . not like you called us everyday." She mutters and I roll my eyes.
"Russia was great, it was cold, but fine." I nod my head at her and she raises her eyebrows at me, "Tobias' place was nice and the food was good, it was nice to get a little break from America for a while. But, I know Peter is really going to hold it against me when I get back tomorrow."
"But, weren't you doing work there?" She questions, spreading the blueberry cream cheese on the warm bagel before taking a bite.
I shrug my shoulders, "Kind of, but Peter is just like that. He will try and get revenge on me for taking such a long time when this is a busy time of the year before we take our other big break for the holidays. He'll probably make me stay a little bit longer during a blizzard to finish files." I roll my eyes as the waiter sets our food down in front of us. I decided to get chocolate chip waffles with extra syrup, strawberries, and turkey bacon while my mom got pancakes and eggs Benedict with cooked smoked salmon.
"Enough of work, did you find someone across the seas that will be willing to come to the states and proclaim their love for you?" She wiggles her eyebrows at me. She is so hooked on getting me married and to find someone to pump babies inside of me so she can be a grandmother. My brother, Caleb, spends time in Napervile with his wife and 2 month old, daughter, Teegan. Just because she thinks she forced my brother into marriage and he's doing well, she is going to be able to do the same for me and expect me to be fine and live happily ever after.
No, because the man who I love is confused with his relationship with me and another girl, I want to say. Instead, I hold it inside and hold my head up high, "No, I wasn't really looking for that," I clear my throat as she narrows her eyes at me, feeling me out, "So, what happened while I was gone?"
Brunch slides by quickly with shared stories and I couldn't be happier to get away from my mother's hard stare. Promising to visit to see my father, I leave and get inside my car, getting a call from Christina. She comes on the bluetooth in the car as I pull out of the driveway and start back towards my apartment, "Hey, how are you feeling?"
"Well, ya know, after puking up the alcohol left in my system, I felt fine and visited my mother at Wildberry pancakes for some brunch," I let out a sigh, "How are you?"
I hear rustling in the background before Christina answers, "Fine, you know, woke up without a hangover," She giggles as I roll my eyes and mock her laugh, "Will and I are getting a few things done today, y'know like bills and stuff before we have to go back to being an adult tomorrow. You were a trip to get off of the plane."
"I don't even want to know." I can imagine myself twerking and dancing throughout the airport and doing things I would never do sober. Luckily, it wouldn't take long because we were on a private jet. Christina and I continue talking until I get to my empty apartment.
