A/N: Lyssa (a guest) picked up an important mistake that I made while editing this chapter. Thanks for picking up on that. I hope it's fixed now.


Tara closed the hospital door and leaned against it for a moment to gather her thoughts. When Jax first called her and demanded that she show up at the clubhouse, she had been beyond pissed. She had went home hours ago and waited for him to come and make things right after the big fight at Gemma's and he had never showed. Instead she was needed to play Biker Doctor and ignore what was going on. When she walked in the clubhouse and was pulled into one of the rooms, she had almost forgotten about her anger when she saw Alex lying there. She may not have liked the woman but she would never wish something bad to happen to her.

She had fought with everyone and told them that she needed to go to the hospital. There were certain things that needed to be done that Tara was unable to do in a dorm room with a medicine bag. Now it was nearly twelve hours later and Tara was wondering how she was going to break the news to everyone. When she walked in the waiting room, everyone immediately stood up.

"She has three broken ribs, a fractured collarbone, a minor concussion and her left wrist is broken." Tara sighed before she delivered the last bit of news. "She was also raped and judging by the damage, it's safe to say whoever did this used some type of object." She jumped when Tig threw a chair across the room and cursed loudly.

"But she's going to be okay, right?" Gemma asked as she clutched Clay's hand with everything she had.

"Physically, yes. She should make a full recovery. Mentally, I don't know. These kind of injuries are bound to affect the psyche in some kind of way." Tara looked pointedly at Gemma who understood more than anyone else in the room.

"We will be monitoring her very closely. Because of the injuries, she is placed under a pretty heavy sedation. We will be able to handle the situation more once she wakes up. I'm sorry I don't have anything more to tell you." Tara looked down as her pager went off and she excused herself.

"This has to be Caruso and that director asshole. They are the only ones that would go after Alex." Tig fumed from his spot on the wall.

"What do we do?" Juice asked.

"We find them and we kill them." Clay answered with conviction. "No one gets away with hurting our family. First Luann, now Alex. Those fuckers will pay for this. Everyone head back to the compound. Time for church." Clay kissed Gemma on the cheek as all the boys filed out of the room.


The annoying beeping sound was the first thing Alex heard. She kept her eyes closed as she tried to gather her thoughts. She couldn't even begin to know what kind of injuries she had sustained other than the obvious. She moaned loudly when a burst of pain ripped through her abdomen.

"You're up?" Alex struggled to open her eyes and when she did she was staring in the face of Tara.

"How long have I been out?"

"Off and on for two weeks now. How do you feel?"

"Like someone ran me the fuck over." Alex tried to smirk but one look in Tara's eyes made her frown. "Don't do that."

"Don't do what?"

"Look at me with pity."

"Alex…"

"No. You and I have spent too many years despising one another. I would hate for all those insults over the years to be a waste. Some of them were damn good."

"I'm sorry this happened to you."

"Why? You've always said that I was nothing more than a whore. Me being fucked and chucked is nothing new Tara." Alex knew that Tara's intentions were good but this sudden change of attitude was making her unnerved. She couldn't handle sympathy from anyone right now, especially not the woman who never liked her to begin with. Alex briefly closed her eyes before speaking again. "How bad?"

Tara pulled up a chair and went over Alex's various injuries, including the obvious rape. "All of your tests have come back clean but you will need to be regularly tested the next couple of months just to make sure." Tara looked down at her hands. "The club has been going crazy."

"I'm sure. I fully expect most of them to be relived at me being awake in the same breath that they will be cussing me out for sneaking off in the first place."

"Why did you leave without telling anyone?" Alex lifted her cast encased arm and looked around the room for a moment.

"I've spent the last three years without SAMCRO. I've been taking care of myself before; I thought I could do it again. Cassie was my responsibility, not the club's. I let her down, it was up to me to make things right."

"They could have killed you."

"I think they wanted to. God, they are going to be pissed to know I survived this."

"I'm going to call Gemma. Let her know that you are awake." Tara opened the door and turned back towards to Alex. "For what it's worth, I'm glad they didn't succeed in killing you." Tara disappeared before Alex could respond.


A month later and Alex was seriously feeling as though she was losing her mind. Once she had been released from the hospital and effectively cussed out and hugged by every member of SAMCRO, she had been placed in one of the dorm rooms for the foreseeable future. Clay had basically put her on lockdown until Jason and Georgie were found. She had been banned from working, turning the Caracara website into "Retro Porn" by pulling out older videos that had either never been aired or had been popular years ago.

Gemma had tried to give Alex everything she needed in the room to make her comfortable but at this point all she really wanted to do was climb the fucking walls. She banged her head back on the pillow as Maury announced that yet another man had been caught in the green room with some paid chick. Every day that she was stuck in her room watching mindless television was another day that she was losing valuable brain cells. She launched the remote control towards her door and watched as it cracked on the way down. Seconds later, her door opened and she rolled her eyes.

"Jesus fuck. It would be you." Happy ignored her greeting and placed a bag on her bed.

"I brought lunch. Eat something."

"I'm not hungry."

"It wasn't a question." Happy had been sleeping in the room across the hall from Alex and had been more protective of her than either thought he would ever be. A part of him felt guilty that he hadn't been able to protect her considering that Gemma had seemed to place Alex in his hands when she first came to town. Another reason why he had spent so much time with her was because he was one of the only people that wasn't affected by her constant tantrums.

"You are not my fucking babysitter." Alex stood up off the bed and glared.

"Then stop acting like a fucking child!" Happy roared at her. She had gone back and forth before pouting and snapping at people for an entire month and Happy was at the end of his rope. No one had seemed to be able to get through to her but he would be damned if she was going to continue to act like this.

He looked over at her, surprised to see the tears shining in her eyes. She looked absolutely miserable, and for the first time, it didn't seem like boredom or irritation. Guilt washed over him at the sight. Had he been that blind, that he had missed this? He shut and locked the door before grabbing Alex's hand and forcing her to sit down. "What is going on with you? The truth."

"Happy, I feel like I'm crawling out of my skin." He nodded, starting to understand a bit more.

"I know you're bored here, but it won't be forever and you'll be back". She shook her head, and he saw a tear begin its journey down her cheek. "Well, if you're not bored, then what the hell is wrong?"

"It's just…" Alex looked down at her lap trying to find the words to express out loud what she was feeling. "I need a distraction."

"From what?" She looked up, relieved to see the understanding in his eyes. It was unnerving, yet comforting at the same time.

"I can still feel his hands on me, I'm not traumatized. I'm not scared of intimacy or any of that, but I can still feel those hands on me. I still taste him, and it makes me sick to my stomach. I know that I won't feel this way forever but…shit, Happy, it's not like I have suitors banging down my door. How the hell am I supposed to move on stuck in this room? What if his hands are the last ones that I ever remember?" His eyes bore into her, and she felt a hot blush rising in her cheeks. She knew that it was irrational, but guilt and shame were shooting through her. That self-deprecating voice was telling her that she should have been able to stop everything that happened to her.

"Do you feel him just now?" Her breath caught as his hand began to travel up her arm, his touch firm and warm and reassuring. "Is this okay?" She nodded numbly, her eyes closing against the wave of sensation that washed over her. He took her other arm into his free hand, and soon all she could feel, hell, all she could sense was his touch. Her arms felt warm and heavy, and she felt a sort of peace settling briefly over her.

Thoughts and emotions swirled in her head, and she shook them off, choosing instead to focus on him. This was what she had craved since she came home. This intimacy and this sweet touch. His hands smoothed over her shoulders, moving to her back, rubbing into taut muscles as she slumped unconsciously toward him. Her head hit his shoulder and she breathed in deeply, her entire being filling with his scent, the undeniable masculinity of him.

His hands stroked firmly over her buttocks, and she sighed when he gripped her thighs, pulling her firmly to straddle his lap, bringing them closer than she had been in months. Her face was buried in the crook of his neck, and she could hear how her breath affected him. The racing beat of his heart pounded against her chest and an unmistakable bulge pressed against her core. She wanted his mouth. God, she wanted his kiss more than anything at that point. She craved it, but she wanted to see what he would do. She wanted to hand her pleasure, her control, over to him.

She knew she could trust him, even if she couldn't figure out why and she shivered when his hands began to stroke back up from her feet, this time running over the front of her legs. There was only one likely destination on his path, and her body throbbed in anticipation. Her stomach tightened as it felt his touch, and she began to quiver, her breasts feeling neglected and aching. It was the last place he had to drive out Jason. The last place she needed to feel his hands, warm and reassuring, and she fought the impulse to grab his hands and direct them where she needed them. Instead she forced her arms to hang limply at her sides. "Do you feel him now?" He whispered softly.

"No" Her breath came in one long shuddering exhale as his hands closed over her breasts. He shifted underneath her, the bulge in his jeans growing just as her arousal grew. His touch remained firm, his strokes pressing deep into her skin, its purpose clearly to comfort rather than arouse, but she felt herself moving atop him, seeking out the delicious friction of him moving against her. She heard his grunt of frustration as one hand moved up, cupping her neck, his fingers massaging her scalp until she felt boneless and limp.

He tightened his fingers in her hair, pulling her head back just enough to look into her eyes. Desire was coursing through her body, spreading heat straight from her core to the tips of her toes. A shiver ran up her spine at the look in his eyes. It was possessive, bordering on predatory, and a soft moan escaped her throat as he claimed her mouth, his lips firm and demanding on hers. His tongue never asked for entry. It slipped in presumptuously, filling her with a taste that she craved. She tilted her head, allowing him in deeper, feeling the slide of his tongue against hers, the suck of his lips on her mouth, the way his teeth gripped her lip and pulled, letting her know that she was his.

She began to rock against him, gasping for breath when he pulled his mouth from hers and sought out the sensitive pulse of her neck. "Do you taste him now?" She shook her head wildly, crying out when he sucked at her flesh, her hand wrapping around his head, her fingers clutching desperately at the back of his neck.

She felt his growl of satisfaction, and her head fell forward, burying in the crook of his neck as she rode him desperately. His arms held her close, tight in his embrace. It was all she needed. For the first time since that night, she felt normal. She felt like herself again.

The trill of his cell phone broke into her thoughts cruelly, and her head snapped up briefly. Tightening her fingers around his neck, she pulled him closer, a silent plea to ignore the ring, and he did, pulling her head to the side and attacking the other side of her neck like he was starving. She gasped, relieved when the ringing stopped. Her head fell back, exposing her throat completely to him, and she groaned when the intrusive ring resumed. Pulling back, she looked at him, her gaze hazy with desire. "You should get that." He looked at her, the regret clear in his eyes, and she smiled at him, reaching one hand toward his pocket to hand him the phone as she settled against his chest. Just because someone had terrible timing didn't mean that she had to give up her rather comfortable position.

"Yeah." His voice was brittle with irritation, and she smiled to herself. "You sure? Alright I'm on my way." Happy hung up the phone and took a moment to admire the sheer bliss on Alex's face. He stood up and placed Alex on the bed. "This isn't over yet." Alex could only offer a small smile before Happy walked out the door and she fell into the first blissful sleep that she could recall in a long while.