Chapter 9: Ready For Battle
(Continuing thanks to everyone reading, faveing, following and reviewing. I will have to catch up on some shout outs next chapter, since I'm working and sneaking in this update on my break. Happy reading! Love to all, Spunky)
Byakuya stepped into the infirmary, where he spotted Michio leaning over Toshiro and placing a medical monitor over his still blind eyes. He moved to the healer's side, watching as his work on the Gotei taicho continued. Toshiro blinked slowly and smiled up at the ceiling.
"Kuchiki," he acknowledged his comrade.
"Yes," Byakuya affirmed.
"He's got a pretty impressive ability to recognize familiar reiatsu patterns and to sense people and things around him."
"Have you found any reason why his vision has not returned?" Byakuya asked anxiously.
"Stop worrying so much, Kuchiki," Toshiro chided him, "I know there are bigger things to worry about. We overheard some of the family guards talking about the quincy attack that's coming."
"I don't want you to worry about that," Byakuya said firmly, "We will keep you and everyone we are protecting here, safe, Toshiro."
"You don't have to worry about keeping me safe," Toshiro said, frowning, "I'm going to be out there, fighting too."
"You are not ready to be using your extended senses for fighting!" Byakuya objected instantly, "Toshiro, I am well aware of your impressive ability, but fighting with extended senses alone is not something you can do without extensive practice and guidance. It takes a large amount of control, and even when fully trained and prepared for battle, it is a dangerous thing, for a number of reasons."
"I am not going to sit here and let those bastards hurt everyone here!" Toshiro shouted, sitting up and upsetting the monitor that had been covering his unseeing eyes, "Look, I get that you feel bad, because I got hurt protecting you. But this is a critical battle and I am going to be a part of it! Everyone here is helping, Byakuya. Everyone!"
"Yes, but not everyone is going to be involved in combat," the noble countered, "You can surely help to provide strength to the barrier."
"The noble children are protecting the barrier!" Toshiro objected angrily, "I'm not a child! I'm a fighter, and I am going to be out there fighting with you and the rest of the family guards. You can't order me not to. I'm a Gotei taicho too."
Byakuya gave him a dumbfounded look, his heart pounding and a look of anguish overtaking his usually calm features. He took a steadying breath, noting as he did that the healer's eyes were politely averted, so as not to see his momentary loss of composure.
"Michio, may I have a moment alone with Toshiro?" the noble requested.
"Of course, Byakuya-sama." The elderly man said calmly, "I need to check in on Renji-san and Rikichi-san. They don't seem to have any lingering issues, but I want to do a final check before clearing them to return to duty."
"Of course," Byakuya agreed, "I won't be long."
He waited as the healer left, then moved closer to sit down on the edge of the examination table as Toshiro sat up beside him.
"Byakuya…" Toshiro began.
"I am sorry," the noble said contritely, shocking his comrade back into silence as his hand slipped into Toshiro's and he continued, "I did not mean to insult you with my request for you to assist in the background. I know just how capable a fighter you are, and it is true that with the size of the oncoming offensive and the fact that our allies will need some time to reach us, we definitely need all of the fighters we can gather."
Toshiro relaxed slightly and nodded, squeezing his comrade's hand.
"It's okay. I'm sorry I lost my temper. I just…I know that if there was time to devote to more training fighting blind like this, I would give it all I have. But the quincies aren't going to wait. They are coming and they are going to be out to annihilate everyone here. Is it risky for me to fight? Yes. It is always dangerous to fight in battles, but sometimes it's what you have to do. I know you know that, Kuchiki."
"Yes," Byakuya assured him, "I do. I am not saying that you are wrong to want to fight alongside the others. I am concerned that something unexpected will happen that will push you in ways you have not yet been trained to handle."
"That can always happen in battle," Toshiro said, more calmly, "And when it does, we improvise. We always have."
"You are quite talented at improvisation," Byakuya said, his lips curving upward very slightly, "Toshiro…"
Byakuya froze, staring, as Toshiro's other hand rose and gently curved around his cheek. Spellbound, he watched as a little smile graced the younger taicho's comely face.
"I think I understand why you're being so overprotective of me," Toshiro said, his fingers sliding along the side of Byakuya's face as he spoke, "I've been feeling it coming from you ever since I used my completed bankai against the quincy, Gerard, and I've aged. I can feel you're attracted to me."
"Toshiro…" Byakuya said, trying in vain to untangle his tongue.
"It's fine if you're not ready to admit it," Toshiro continued, smiling warmly at him, "You've lost people who were close to you, most especially, your father. He died in battle…a battle he should never have been in, right?"
Byakuya sucked in a stinging breath, his head spinning at the speed at which things were changing in front of him, and he managed a short nod.
"I…do not want you to become someone else I speak to every day, but who cannot answer me," the noble confessed softly, "Toshiro, I do not know what I have to offer you. I do not know…"
He went silent as the younger man's fingers touched his lips.
"It's okay," he assured Byakuya, "I'm still going to be out there, fighting beside you, but I will be extra careful and I will stay close to you. And when this battle is over and everyone is safe, we can talk about the rest of it. Just…please accept this as a promise of what is to come."
Byakuya remained stock still and staring in surprise as Toshiro's blind eyes closed and his mouth found the noble's and offered him a chaste, but knee-weakening kiss. Byakuya tried, but couldn't make his voice sound in response. He held tightly to Toshiro's hand and slid his other arm around the younger man, engaging him in a longer kiss and hugging him tightly.
"V-very well," he managed finally, his heart pounding, "Then, if you are going to fight using this method, there are a few more things we should do to prepare."
XXXXXXXXXX
Tetsuya stood quietly in the dressing area of his quarters, waiting patiently as his attendant set the pieces of his house guard's uniform in place. His blue eyes closed and opened again as his mind replayed the warm, sweet kisses that Juushiro had given him.
There is no denying that there is something special between us. It is something beyond just an attraction, as is borne out by the discovery of our resonance. Things are happening so quickly! I do know in my heart that I am falling in love with Ukitake-sama, but to be married…
I just don't think I'm ready.
He knows I am not ready and he tried to tell Byakuya as much. He doesn't understand why my cousin is still insisting we must marry as soon as we are past the coming battle. But I do understand. Byakuya-sama is not wanting to send me into a marriage of state. He knows very well what can happen to couples who are forced into such. But at the same time, I can see that he very much believes in the power of the bond that unites us, whether we are ready or not. Also, Byakuya can see that we are good for each other. My cousin is in terrible pain over his past decisions regarding me. He is doing his best. So, when the time comes, I will obey him and take Ukitake-sama as my husband…and for the first time, offer myself to him sexually.
I just hope I can.
The abuse I suffered has haunted me for over a hundred years. I have not been intimate with anyone in all of that time. I shiver at the thought of being touched that way. Ukitake-sama's kisses are gentle, but sex is not a gentle act…or, at least, it hasn't been for me. I don't know. Maybe if someone really loves me, he can be gentle in taking me.
"Tetsuya-san, you look flushed," his attendant observed, shocking Tetsuya out of his reverie, "Do you need the healer?"
"N-no, thank you, Koji," Tetsuya stammered awkwardly, his heart skittering in his chest as Juushiro appeared in the doorway.
He swallowed hard, waiting as Koji left, then he remained standing in the dressing area as the white-haired taicho approached him and reached out to touch his face gently.
"Are you all right, anata?" he asked calmly, "Koji is right. You look flushed."
"I am fine," Tetsuya assured the elder man, his color darkening even more, "I was just…thinking about what we have to do…after the battle."
"Yes," Juushiro agreed, moving in close to him and sliding his arms around the younger man, "I've been thinking about that too. I know you aren't ready, and, if it makes you feel any better, I think we should wait."
"I know the resonance is strong," Tetsuya said, nearly tripping over his words, "and I am very attracted to Ukitake-sama."
"Juushiro," the elder man said quietly, tracing Tetsuya's soft lips with a light fingertip, "You shouldn't be referring to the man you are about to marry, using such a formal title. We are engaged, even if it is to be a very short engagement before a hasty wedding."
"I am very attracted to you, Juushiro-sama," Tetsuya corrected himself, earning a sweet chuckle and an affectionate kiss from his intended.
"You are stubbornly self-effacing, aren't you?" Juushiro laughed softly, "Fine, be formal about it. But, after we are wed, it is just Juushiro, all right?"
Tetsuya wasn't sure how he managed to turn a darker pink as he nodded wordlessly and let himself be drawn in for several more intoxicatingly lovely kisses. For several minutes, the two men stood, holding each other and exchanging kisses.
"Well," Juushiro said finally, pulling back slightly and smiling down at the slighter man, "I don't know about you, but I am very much looking forward to going home. Your family has a lovely facility here, but I miss the Seireitei."
"Except that much of the Seireitei lies in ruins," Tetsuya said sadly.
"Don't you worry about the buildings and gardens," Juushiro said solemnly, "We will rebuild everything. I know your heart is broken because of the losses of so many lives, but wars deal that kind of damage, and it's up to us to pick up the pieces and move on, don't you think, anata? And healing? Well, that's right up your alley. Your healing skills will be in high demand."
"If I ever get them working again," Tetsuya sighed, glancing at his weapon, where it rested in a sword stand near the bed, "My reiatsu is at full strength. I feel fine. I just…"
"You just need to relax and to trust yourself," Juushiro said calmly, "Tetsuya, I know that you are confused and that so many things are happening, you can barely process them all. But, just know that you are surrounded by love. Byakuya loves you. You have family and friends who love you. And…even though we are only at the beginning of our intimacy, I do love you also."
Tetsuya sucked in a sharp breath, shivering slightly at the impact of the words.
"And I…"
"Shh," Juushiro said, shaking his head and pressing warm fingers to Tetsuya's trembling lips, "You are not ready to make such a confession. It's okay. I can wait. Remember, you are the one who gave me time so that I could wait for you to fall in love with me. I don't care if everything else has to be rushed and this is the only thing we can control. Tetsuya, I want your confession of love to come from the heart and I want to hear it only when you are ready to say it. Do you understand?"
Relief flooded the younger man's face and he sank into Juushiro's arms, kissing him fervently.
"Ukitak-sa…Juushiro-sama!" he exclaimed softly.
Tetsuya wasn't sure how they had gotten across the room so quickly. He only felt himself falling as they collapsed onto the bed and he spread his thighs to let the elder man rub against him while they continued kissing. He meant to comply quietly, but right away, he felt his insides tightening.
This is what I was afraid of! Juushiro-sama is a kind and gentle person, but sex is not gentle. It is…sex is violent…isn't it?
There was a more hungry look in the white-haired man's eyes and his hips pushed forward, grinding sensuously and spawning a like reaction in Tetsuya's slender body and long deprived loins.
W-wait!
This is…!
He realized suddenly that Juushiro had stopped moving and was looking down into his rounded eyes, reading his shocked expression quietly. He pulled free of Tetsuya and sat up, leaving the fingers of one hand laced together with his distressed partner's.
"It's all right," he assured the younger man, "I'm sorry for upsetting you. I told you that I understand you're not ready for this to move forward so quickly. I apologize for offending you."
He started to let go of Tetsuya's hand, only to feel Tetsuya's grip tighten as he sat up and nuzzled close to him.
"You could never offend me, Ukita…erm…Juushiro-sama," Tetsuya assured him in a more collected voice, "I was just…scared for a moment by what I saw in your eyes."
Juushiro gave him a regretful look.
"I know you were abused by your cousin, Orochi, during your imprisonment," he acknowledged, "and that means that I will have to be careful with you. Just tell me when you feel afraid and I will always listen to you. I will always stop if you are uncomfortable. I know trust takes a while to build, Tetsuya, and we have to be married well before you'll be ready to trust me with your body. Just know I would rather die than to ever hurt you. I will never hurt you, Tetsu-koi."
Tetsuya gave him a weary smile and rested his head on Juushiro's warm shoulder.
"I know you wouldn't hurt me," he assured the elder man, "My mind and my heart are sure of that. My body will learn not to react with fear, much as it did when Byakuya-sama trained me to fight. I know you will be patient with me."
"Of course," Juushiro agreed, kissing him and climbing to his feet, "But we need to go and meet with the others to make final plans for the defense of the encampment. Although, I must admit that it surprises me Byakuya wasn't more resistant to having you out with the main forces."
"You mean with my powers not working?" Tetsuya mused, "You don't need to worry either. Powers or no powers, I will keep myself safe, and the fighters will need my help. They are accustomed to responding quickly to my directions during the battles, and I can still fight with sword and hakudo. Even though I can't use even shikai, I can still thicken my reiatsu to kick harder and strike dangerously with my sword."
"You are a wonder," Juushiro said appreciatively, "Although I know you don't enjoy fighting…"
"I won't stand by and watch the quincies destroy my family, my friends and all of the innocent ones here."
"And when we're done with the fighting, you'll be out there healing them."
"I do hope so," Tetusya sighed, "I suppose that it's possible that being in the heat of the moment will give me the strength to overcome whatever is inhibiting me."
"You've been through so much," Juushiro said sympathetically, "and the worst is not yet over. But you are not going to be out there alone. I will stay near you."
Tetsuya gave him a grateful smile.
"I'm glad. It will good to see Juushiro-sama's powers returned to full strength. I don't think I have ever seen you fight."
"Well," Juushiro chuckled, glancing at his blade, "I'll have to introduce you to my sword spirits later. They've been pretty rambunctious since being brought back from the brink. I know they're really thankful that you came along and were able to help us."
Tetsuya looked up at him curiously.
"They are child spirits, aren't they?" he asked, "Byakuya-sama mentioned it to me before."
"They are child spirits," Juushiro confimed, "It's a reminder to me of who I always want to protect. You know, from being a child who was not protected, just how important it is to protect our innocent ones."
He noticed then the little blush that had returned to Tetsuya's face and throat.
"What is it?" he asked, smiling.
"Oh, it is just that I was thinking…"
Tetsuya trailed off, his heart pounding and the flush on his face darkening.
"What were you thinking?" Juushiro asked, cupping a hand around Tetsuya's soft cheek.
"Ah…I was thinking that…J-juushiro-sama…"
He paused again and took a steadying breath.
"I think Juuhsiro-sama will be a wonderful father," he managed finally.
The elder man's smile seemed to warm Tetsuya to the core.
"I think, when you're ready for that, you will be too."
