Disclaimer: I do not own Dragonball Z, Evangelion, Steve Smith, PBS, Cheez Whiz, or Valasic Pickles.
Brenman: Here we are once again with a new chapter of The Kakarott Zone. I hope you enjoy it, and I hope the Evangelion Jokes aren't wasted on too many people.
The last few weeks have been absolute bliss. The puke green walls with pink polka dots have really grown on you. You feel as if they've become part of your family. You live together, laugh together, and cry together. You do all your favorite activities within their loving embrace. Activities such as, Talking to your imaginary friend, watching reruns of The Kakarott Zone on PBS, and washing your imaginary dog. Or, perhaps most disturbing, washing your imaginary friend. You have just finished scrubbing Gary's back when you look up at the clock on one of your amazing walls. You quickly jump onto your bed and switch the television on, time for the new episode of The Kakarott Zone.
You watch as your favorite T.V. host, Vegeta, walks onto screen pushing a wheelbarrow full of assorted donuts. The huge smile on his face was completely out of character, and he appeared to be whispering sweet nothings to his pastries. You begin to worry about the sanity of your favorite T.V. personality, thinking he might be losing his sanity. You turn to Gary and ask him if he agrees with you. Before Gary can give you an answer Vegeta begins talking, "Hello, I am Vegeta no Ouji, and you have just entered a place with no rules, a place where anything can happen, like Zarbon starting a pyramid scheme. And we all know Dodoria's going to get burned."
You giggle mercifully at this last comment. You tried to watch Dodoria's latest tragedy to television, The Late Late Late Very Late Tonight Show Hosted by Dodoria. It's basically a really lame talk show where Dodoria tries to make unfunny things funny. And he fails miserably. You and Gary spend the next couple of minutes talking about how much you hate Dodoria's Show before remembering your watching The Kakarott Zone and promptly turn back to the T.V.
Vegeta looks straight at you, lying on your bed, and says in an extremely irritated voice, "Now that I have your full attention again, let's continue. Today's story is about me getting annoyed, and Kakarott being even weirder then usual. I like to call this story, Neon Goku Evangelion."
-- NGE: Neon Glow sticks for Everyone --
Vegeta was having a good day, he had blown up four houses for fun, and hijacked a truck full of Cheez Whiz. He was about to dig into his first jar of cheesy delight when Goku strolled casually through the front door, "Hi honey, I'm home." Goku called out as a seventies style laugh track played in the background.
Vegeta was having a bad day, he had blown up four houses for fun, hijacked a truck full of Cheez Whiz, and Goku had shown up. "What do you want?" He voiced harshly.
"Well, I was thinking about when we were working on our radio broadcast before the radio station blew up mysteriously. That Betty woman called in and said that you really did like my smell." Goku said happily before being cut off forcibly by an Irate Vegeta.
"Don't you even dare to mention that in front of me. If you say one more word I'll rip out one of your lungs and stick it full of needles." Vegeta glared at his mentally challenged peasant as if daring him to keep talking.
Goku just laughed, "I wasn't talking about that really, I was just thinking about how she said she was from the USA. I looked the USA up on a map and it turns out it's one of the largest countries on the planet."
Vegeta stared at his 'friend' with a bored expression on his face, "What's the big deal?" he asked.
"Well, they also say that the USA is the most powerful country on the planet." Goku said.
"Don't be stupid, everyone that watches anime knows that Japan is the most powerful country on the planet. They have us, Robots (Giant or otherwise), and lots of ninja's with super powers. The USA only has Superman and Arnold Schwarzenegger."
Goku nodded, "I guess your right."
Vegeta smirked, "Of course I am, but do you have any point with bringing this up."
Goku nodded again, "Yup. I figured that because the US is so big, if it were a person it would be taller then you to, just like almost everyone else."
Vegeta's smirk disappeared faster then Goku using Instant Transmission. The short Saiyan stalked out of the room leaving Goku to spew off facts about the United States to himself.
-- Three Months Later --
Vegeta was having a bad day. He had blown up three houses for fun, hijacked a truck full of Valasic Pickles (They're not crunchy or juicy, their limp and dry. Just how Vegeta likes them.), and Goku had shown up. "What do you want this time Kakarott?" he asked with a mouth full of Pickles.
"Well, I was looking at the newest atlas Chi Chi bought for Gohan, and the USA's gone. It was replaced by a big blue thing called The Really Unimaginatively Named Giant Ocean of Blueness." He said, before nabbing on of Vegeta's pickles.
"I blew it up you moron." Vegeta said in his meanest sounding voice, "Because of what you said."
"Oh," Goku chirped, sounding a bit too happy for the conversation, "Well, why didn't you say so."
Vegeta suddenly felt like rendering himself unconscious. Anything to stop this ridiculous conversation, before Goku spoke up again, "Hey Vegeta. Why didn't you blow up Canada also. It's right beside the US and it's even bigger."
"You are such an amateur Kakarott," Vegeta lectured, "I didn't blow up Canada because Steve Smith Lives there."
"Who's Steve Smith?"
"You know. Red Green."
"You mean the Duct Tape guy?" Goku asked.
"Yes," Vegeta said happily at getting through to his tall buddy. "and everyone knows that not even a super Saiyan is a match for duct tape."
Goku nodded sagely in agreement. "Hey Vegeta, do you think that when man created duct tape, they were really trying to make a clone of God?"
"Of course." Vegeta shook his head, "Where did that come from? anyway, the other reason I didn't blow up Canada is because the author lives there, and if I destroyed the authors house he would be very angry at me. Because he's the author he could have me do anything he wanted me to do, or incase I killed him The Kakarott Zone would cease to exist."
Goku looked at Vegeta, "Do you mean that I am only the Goku that exists in Brenman's mind, and you are the Vegeta that exists in Brenman's mind."
Vegeta looked at Goku oddly, "Wha cho talkin' bou."
Goku looked at him. "I am me. The me that is here. The me that exists in my own mind. Not the mind of Brenman, or Vegeta. Are you the Vegeta that exists in my mind as well?"
"..." Vegeta stared at his confusing orange clad Saiyan.
"I am Me, and you are you. We all exist in this world by being observed by others. There is the me that observes Vegeta, and the Me that observes Bulma, and there is the me that Observes myself. But there is also the me that is observed by Vegeta, and the me observed by Bulma. Am I just a collection of me's that exist in other peoples minds."
Vegeta was getting more confused, "Kakarott, this isn't that kind of anime you know. Our show was written to make sense most of the time." Vegeta walked over to Goku and with the idea of knocking some sense into him, whacked him over the head with a chair.
"It's in my head. It's attacking my mind." Goku screamed out suddenly, "I don't want to remember that. Oh god I've been suppressing that memory for years. I don't want to remember that. It's raping me. It's raping my mind. Help me. Help me Vegeta it's in my head. I don't want to remember that."
An evil smirk spread across Vegeta's face, he had to find out what that memory was. Probably something to do with needles, "Kakarott. What memory? what happened?"
"It happened when we fused together, I got your memories. That was the first time I saw Freeza's third form. Oh god, it's so ugly." Goku screamed out some more.
Vegeta shuddered, "Oh, that memory." The prince didn't see any other way out of this, so he did the only thing he could think of. He hit Goku over the head with another chair.
"Oh that's good. Memories gone this time." Goku said relieved, "Now if only I could remember where I live, and what's my name? And do you think I could fight better in a plug suit?"
Third times the charm. One more chair for the garbage dump.
"Okay, I'm back to normal." Goku said, "Are you the Vegeta that exists in my mind, or am I the Goku that exists in your mind?"
Vegeta growled, "I should have left him with no memories."
"Where's the Chi Chi that exists in my mind. I'm hungry for some food. But is there any food that exists in Vegeta's mind?"
Vegeta growled deeper, "Kakarott, this is about to be the foot that exists in your ass if you don't shut up." Vegeta pointed viscously at his left boot clad foot.
Goku didn't pay any attention to him.
The tombstone read;
R.I.P Goku.
Fateful last words
"Don't worry. I'll come back after third impact."
-- Fly Me to the Moon --
Vegeta appeared to be covered in crumbs and sleeping in an empty wheelbarrow. One of the stage hands was cautiously poking him to get him to wake up. You and Gary snicker, that guy must have drawn the short straw. After failing to wake up the snoring prince the young man made a hasty retreat off stage and the screen faded to black.
You jump off the bed and turn to Gary. Gary looks at you happily as you ask him whether or not he would like his feet massaged. He smiles at you and says yes. You stay happy during the massage knowing that your in your room with your comforting puke green with pink polka dotted walls.
Brenman: Wow, that was referencerific. Now please review and maybe Gary will come and visit you, and you can have the pleasure of bathing him yourself.
P.S. Incase you didn't figure it out. Gary isn't the dog.
