A/N: Review if you think Scholar's a BAMF! Until the break, it's Clara POV, afterwards it Scholar POV. Jenny gets the shit beat out of her in this chapter.

Disclaimer: If I owned Who, I'd be living in a house filled with rare first edition books. So I don't own Doctor Who.

Ch 9: Friends, Fun, and Experiments

I walked down the beach with the Doctor's daughter, listening to her story. Basically, after she was progenated-the Doctor's her mom and dad- she followed him as he saved the world she was created on, and then took a bullet for him. She was resurrected by the terraforming device, but had missed the Doctor by minutes. She stole her planet's shuttle and then traveled around. Two years later, she ran into Scholar, who, when she realized Jenny had no idea where the Doctor was, offered to let her on her ship. Jenny and Scholar searched throughout time for the Doctor, eventually becoming more comradely, despite their differences.

"Scholar's different, Clara. I would think it's the whole initiated Time Lady thing, but she is even more eccentric than the Doctor. I mean, have you seen her clothes? She made that fucking outfit, out of some metal she invented. Those wings work, she can moon-bounce in the boots, her clothes are bullet, explosion, and nuclear bomb-proof, and her weird hat-goggles thing has gotten us out of many a tight spot, but she is a pain in the ass to deal with. And, she is a bit odd. She is very private and secretive, and, the one time I was able to find her room-I had to threaten to pour water into the circuits on her TARDIS to locate it-I found out that her wacky door will pour acid on anyone but her who tries to open the DNA-encoded lock. I may be good with computers and guns and such, but she's a whole another league."

"Let me tell you, your dad is wacky, too. I mean, the bow-tie, the gabbling on, the way he stumbles along like a baby giraffe, and he calls his TARDIS sexy! Oh, and he didn't even to think to mention that he had a WIFE!"

"I know he has a wife, I've met her on my search with Scholar for my dad. She's awesome. She gave us our best lead in ages, that eventually led us here. Though if you think that's bad, you should see Scholar. She has an interesting sense of style, I guess, and she's good in a tight spot, but she's always blowing things up in her experiments, she's cranky as hell, she is way too smart for anyone but maybe the Doctor-probably not even him-to understand, and she's rather violent. Also, her jokes are so dry that when I realize she's made one, it's way too late to laugh. She's impossible, but she's my best friend."

I wonder if it's a raised-on-Gallifrey thing, but I better talk to Scholar and see if Jenny isn't just biased, because they've been flat/TARDISmates for so long. I wonder how old that little firecracker is, because the Doctor says he's 1000, and I think he's rounding down, judging by his ancient eyes. But I'll talk to her, because us petite girls have got to stick together.

Speak of the devils, and they appear. Of course, they haven't changed out of their wacky outfits, but the Doctor's carrying a picnic blanket, so that's a plus. I think I'll talk to little Scholar, while the Doctor catches up with Jenny. It appears the Doctor has thought of the same thing.

"Hi, Jenny, Clara. Clara, Scholar is going to catch you up on the parts Jenny couldn't, while I talk to my daughter and eat this magnificent picnic lunch."

Scholar had somehow pulled a giant picnic basket out of her tiny skirt pocket. She noticed me staring, and said, "What can I say, they're smaller on the outside. Also, I stole this lunch from the Papal Mainframe, so it better be good."

I decided to talk to the teen, but, judging by her preliminary remarks, Jenny wasn't exaggerating. The girl seemed to exist in another reality, where normal laws didn't apply, like gravity, or logic, or laws against theft.

"So, Scholar, Jenny's told me some about you, but I'd like to hear your tale of events, starting with how old you are."

When her tale was over, I felt like crying, hugging her, or both. Talk about tragic backstories! 116 centuries old, lost her mother, her planet, barely fleeing in time, educating herself at a human school, since she looked like a toddler when she escaped, gaining four doctorates, teaching herself how to defend herself, protecting the innocent, but with a lot of blood on her hands. Dying twice, in horrific agony, but still devoted to find out what happened to her family, only to learn that her mom sacrificed herself for the universe. Poor girl. She had a right to be odd, a large part of those centuries were spent with only her TARDIS, whom she called Beauty, for company. When I tried to console her, she quickly changed the subject.

"Does anyone want a tour of Beauty and a gadget demonstration? Jenny, you can help me demonstrate my weapons after I show them around Beauty, whom I made completely sentient."

I quickly agreed, mostly out of guilt for dredging up old wounds. It was a bit of a mistake on my part.

%TLTL%

The Clara girl was sweet, like a little puppy that tried to make a crying person feel better. However, I was perfectly in control of my feelings, and I certainly didn't want to talk about it with a little ape who was an infant compared to me. So, I suggested a TARDIS tour, simply because I wanted to show my tech to someone who could understand, namely, the Doctor. I knew he didn't like weapons, so I'll mostly show him things that don't kill people. It narrowed down the list quite a bit. I led the way back to Beauty, then put my hand out and snapped my fingers. Clara jumped, but the Doctor and Jenny didn't move, Jenny because she's seen me do that before, and the Doctor smiled at me approvingly because he could do the same thing.

"So, here's my Beauty. I stripped the chameleon circuit because she decided that she preferred a tree as a reminder of our home. Here is the console room," I gestured around me, smiling at Clara's look of awe and her muttered aside, "Doctor, hers is so much cooler, like a mad scientist's den."

I led the way through the corridors, showing them the library, the various lounges and kitchens, the wardrobes, the rooms housing the real Crown Jewels of various civilizations, my room stuffed full of every type of currency known to man or not, Jenny's room, the garden, the forest, the room of dangerous monsters, the greenhouse/lab, before finally stopping at my weapons testing lab, which is conveniently located next to the infirmary. Jenny sighed, knowing her hour of pain was here.

"Okay. Jenny, you can wait in the viewing area until I require a partner in this exhibition. As you can see, I have this harmless-looking bead here. It is, in fact, a bio-bomb, coded to only harm the one who it is locked on. Beauty, release the Dalek."

The Doctor jumped up, quite afraid, but I smiled at him and set the locks so nothing could get in and out. As the Dalek trundled out, screeching, "EXTERMINATE! EXTERMINATE!", as I locked the bomb onto its genetic code. I walked up to it, stood next to it, and, holding the bomb in my hand, set it off. The Dalek dissipated in a massive explosion, as the Doctor and Clara pounded on the door. Jenny just sat there, quite unconcerned. She'd seen this show before.

The Doctor and Clara sheepishly sat down again when I was visible again, not even a new scuff anywhere on me. I then began in earnest, showing them tools for accessing objects, by gravity boots, the wings, the lock-pick setting in my headdress, the Silent-proof setting, without the eye-patch side effects, and my pretty large set of explosives. I even showed them a serum that rehabilitated a Cyberman, leaving it happy in it's metal skin but without any converting/murderous tendencies. The Doctor and Clara were enthralled, like I was Houdini performing for the Queen. Eventually, Jenny's hour had come. I bade her to step into my lab.

Soon, the weapons display moved on to nonlethal, one-on-one weaponry. I emptied five atomic bombs, three nuclear-powered guns, eight warp stars, six pair of brass knuckles, two garrotes, a lead pipe, seven crossbows, and a metal baseball bat from my pockets, leaving me unarmed of anything that would kill her. I even removed the boots and wings, and replaced my shoes with steel-toed combat boots. Then we were ready.

Jenny started on the defensive, backing around nervously, never staying in one place. I raised my eyebrow, and a stun-bolt shot out of my headdress. I quickly revived her, then waited until she was ready. This time she went on the offensive rushing forward before flipping over my head. I cartwheeled off the wall before turning to face her. I snapped my fingers, and used that distraction to leverage her over my shoulder and shoot her with a hypodermic dart. I then called my nanogenes to heal her, and we started again. She tried everything she possibly could, every type of martial arts or weaponry she knew to use. She even tried to shoot me in the heart, but the bullet rebounded off my clothes. Eventually I got bored, and stopped the fight. Jenny looked like she's been run over by a steamroller multiple times, while I was spotless.

Jenny, frustrated, yelled, "Scholar, stop hiding behind your pretty toys and let us have a go at unarmed combat!" Challenge received, I removed all weaponry, even my headdress and shoes, and changed into a simple. human t-shirt and leggings. Jenny then removed her weaponry and shoes, and charged at me again. Poor girl.

If she hadn't been so pissed off at me for kicking her ass in front of her dad, she wouldn't have even suggested it. She knew I had spent three centuries after I completed my doctorates traveling around learning every form of armed and unarmed combat I could find. I'd told her this, but in her rage I think she forgot. I watched her charge me like a bull, and, once her momentum wouldn't let her stop, stepped aside. She wheeled around and flipped over me, intending to land on my shoulders, but, even as fast as she was, I was faster. I stepped aside again, and watched her tire herself out trying to catch by by surprise. Once she was exhausted, I cheerfully beat her to a pulp. I may like the chit, but she did ask for it. I had even warned her beforehand that I was an expert in many lost ways of fighting, and she knew I used the dojo's combat simulators often. I even had nanogenes to fix all the damage. The girl was lucky. At least, this way she'd remember not to go challenging head-in-the-clouds eccentrics, because sometimes the eccentrics have some bite to them.

As I got Jenny cleaned up, I heard the Doctor approaching behind me. Jenny, luckily, was out cold, or they'd be able to hear her in Kastoborous. As she stirred towards the end of my ministering, she fell to cussing me out. The Doctor remarked, disapprovingly, "Jenny, that was stupid to go challenging Scholar. Sure, she tested weapons on you, but she has thousands of years of experience on you. I'd like to see who'd win in a fight, River or Scholar." a shadow fell across his eyes, and his mask slipped. Grief, the type that is mixed with guilt, festered in his soul. "Scholar, your inventions are brilliant. I'd hate to get on your bad side, but you seem to have a conscience. I'd heard the name Scholar before, I just never realized that you're a Time Lady before today. Jenny, I have a task for you, before I let this go. Look up Scholar, and see how lucky you are that she doesn't hold grudges. She's feared in the shadier areas of the universe for her ability to land with both feet on those who harm the helpless. That's her specialty, and she doesn't like any praise or reward, but she sometimes accepts books from those who insist on repaying her."

I ducked my head, before looking the Doctor in the eye. "Doctor, I don't like praise, or acknowledgment. I've seen bad people do bad things with my patents, including Time Lords. I just like to make up for that. Jenny knows I don't begrudge her the headache even the nanogenes couldn't cure, and that will make sure she doesn't forget. The kid is still learning, but make sure this lesson sticks. She has a bad habit of not using the intelligence she has. She doesn't mind learning, but she'd rather teach someone a lesson with fists than words. You should teach her that. I'll sure to run into you three sometime in the universe. Jenny has the number to call for the phone on Beauty here...and thanks for telling me what happened, even though it was hard for you to talk about. If I'm ever in trouble, I'll send you three a message on the psychic paper."

The Doctor looked like this was the best day he'd had in a while. He hid his sadness well, and coped by finding new humans like little Clara, but I'd seen what was in his eyes. Something had happened to the poor guy's wife, and I owed it to my mother's best friend to fix it. The Doctor may be clever, but I'm me.

AN: Scholar's gonna save River, and figure out how to defeat Vashta Nerada! If you have any ideas or suggestions for how or what she's going to have to face to get the ingredients needed to kill the Vashta Nerada, review! I'll combine everyone's ideas in a plot smoothie! She's gonna run into the Doctor and company on her quest to save River, because she likes River and she feels she owes the Doctor. Also, she's smarter than the Doctor, so she'll figure it out. Cheers!