A/N: My fellow tumblr people may recognize this prompt I wrote some time ago, however there has been almost an additional 2k words written, expanding it and giving you a LITTLE more DiLaurentis-Fields fam. Enjoy. This one is PG for…words, and shenanigans. And FYI, I haven't forgotten about the prompts I've been given. I'm just juggling a lot right now. And I suck at juggling.
Prompt: Hey! I was wondering if you could write a prompt were Sam is about to talk and Emily, Alison, Lily, and Grace are fighting about which is going to be his first word and they all make bets or something and then his first word is something silly?
Words
Dinner time at the DiLaurentis-Fields house was often a chaotic scene. Two teenagers snarking at one another while a handsy baby threw everything he could get his grubby little fingers on, including food. The twins thought it was hilarious, so they often encouraged him by making a game out of it with their own food.
Emily and Alison had made an Olympic Sport out of catching dinner rolls and flying chicken breasts mid-air. It was all fun and games until someone got slapped in the eye with a steaming hot piece of enchilada. They always yelled at the girls to knock it off, but their little brother's giggles only encouraged them to entertain him at dinner.
Sam's assaults weren't any easier on them. The youngest member of their family didn't eat a lot of solid food yet, but Emily and Alison had ventured into letting him try little things here and there. Emily had been slapped once by a large linguine noodle that Sam was using as a whip. Alison had been the victim of a drive-by lemon squeezing when Sam tried the citrus for the first time. And they had both ended up with smashed peas in their hair and green beans in their cleavage when they tried to introduce him to vegetables.
Trying to get their kids to eat healthy was difficult, especially for Grace and Sam. Lily didn't mind eating her greens. Grace, on the other hand, slid her broccoli under the table and gave it to the dog.
Grace glanced around the table and saw that her mothers were both occupied trying to keep Sam from grabbing a huge pile of spaghetti and marinara from the bowl near his high chair. Lily was looking at her phone. She stabbed a large piece of broccoli with her fork and slipped it to her trusty vegetable eater, their Pit-Bull, Labrador Retriever mix, Buster, who would ingest anything. He was their vacuum cleaner. He quickly gobbled up the broccoli.
"Grace, I saw that." Emily pointed her fork accusingly at her daughter with one hand while wiping Sam's messy fingers off with a napkin with her other hand. "You're not leaving this table until you eat something green."
"But that's not fair. There are tomatoes in the spaghetti sauce. That counts!"
"Tomatoes are a fruit." Lily gave her a smarmy look from across the table.
"I should have eaten you in the womb." Grace narrowed her eyes at her sister and threw the last bite of her bread at her face.
Alison caught it mid-air and then put it down.
"Grace, greens, now." Alison ordered.
"Fine." She frowned, relenting to the terror of having something green.
She glanced at the counter, looking for the last of the broccoli. What she found was something better. She reached back behind her chair where they had the candy dish. She grabbed a handful of jellybeans. Two of them were green. She waited until both of her mothers were watching and then grinned smugly at them.
"You didn't say what kind of green food I had to eat." She tossed the jellybeans into her mouth.
Sam started bouncing in his high chair, because he saw Grace eating something new and he wanted it. He started whimpering.
"Processed sugar does not count as a vegetable, child." Emily rolled her eyes. She scooped up two pieces of broccoli and put them on Grace's plate.
Lily locked her eyes on Grace's eyes and grinned as she picked up her plate.
"I'd love some more broccoli, Mom."
Grace stared back at her with a heated gaze that clearly stated, "You little shit."
"Suck up." She muttered under her breath.
Sam babbled throughout the rest of dinner like he always did. It wasn't until Grace had choked down the last of her vegetables and they were starting to get cleaned up that he called for his mothers' and sisters' attention.
Emily and Alison were getting ready to clear the table and Grace and Lily were getting ready to run off and disappear into their rooms when Sam loudly shouted,
"BUH!"
He'd said it with a clear precision and a dialect they'd never heard before, like he was trying to form a word. It was exciting. He'd made noises and chattered to himself for a while now. But mostly he'd just babbled a bunch of baby nonsense. This time he was trying to actually address them and tell them what he wanted.
"What is it, Sammy?" Emily sat down next to his high chair.
He reached his sticky hand out and pat Emily's wrist, leaving a lump of mashed potatoes on her skin. Then he pointed at Alison and opened his mouth like he was getting ready to say something.
"Oh, I think he's going to do it!" Lily exclaimed. They waited for the inevitable "mama" to come out of his mouth.
But instead he stared at Alison and smacked his lips together.
"Can you say 'mama'?" Alison asked.
"Say 'French Fry'." Grace encouraged him.
"Ohhh, or how about 'onomatopoeia'." Lily rubbed his toes.
"That's not a real word." Grace scoffed. "You just made that up."
"Just because you don't know it doesn't mean it's not a real word."
"Use it in a sentence." Grace challenged.
"Grace's intellectual skills are so low that she doesn't know what the word onomatopoeia means."
Grace made a face at her and flicked her in the arm. Lily stuck her tongue out at her.
"How is it that a baby is more mature than two teenagers?" Emily chuckled.
"You're a real riot, mom." Grace rolled her eyes. "You should try your hand at stand-up comedy." Her tone was laced with sarcasm.
"I'm already living in a nutball sitcom." Emily pushed back.
"Buh…"
"What is it, buddy?" Lily asked.
He threw his hand out and started wiggling his finger frantically.
"Buh…"
"Buster?" Lily asked, looking at their rescue dog. He was patiently waiting for some food to fall off of the table and on to the floor, or for Grace to slip him more scraps under the table.
"Buh." Sam shook his head and furrowed his little eyebrows and puffed his cheeks out.
"Bunny?" Grace walked over and picked up a little stuffed bunny out of his pack-n-play.
She handed the bunny to him, but he threw it across the room and started smacking his palms against the tray of his high chair.
"Buh!" He shouted, his cheeks starting to get red in frustration. He was still pointing at Alison furiously.
"Think he's trying to call me a bitch?" Alison questioned curiously. He'd probably heard plenty of people say that to her.
"Oh, swear jar!" Grace pointed at her mother enthusiastically.
She motioned to a jar across the room filled with coins and a few crumpled bills. Ones, fives, and a ten from when Alison had lost her shit in traffic a few weeks ago. Grace had been grinning in the backseat keeping count of the 'fucks' and the 'dickheads' she was slinging that day. Grace had ticked off each and every word like a warped version of car bingo.
Alison hadn't said a word when they'd gotten home. She'd just walked over to the jar and pulled out a few ones from her purse and shoved them angrily into the jar. Grace had stood behind her with her word count smiling at her,
"Not even close, mom. Pay up."
So Alison had stuck the ten in there, too.
There was only one other ten in the jar from when Emily had lost track of Sam and had to contend with a kitchen fire in the same day. It had all happened within minutes. She'd put Sam down on his blanket with some of his toys and ran to grab the laundry. By the time she got back, Sam was nowhere in sight and Grace was screeching from the kitchen.
Emily had run in and found the microwave on fire. Grace had been trying to reheat some mac and cheese…covering it with aluminum foil. Lily had been screaming at her that you couldn't put aluminum foil in the microwave to which Grace had very snottily replied,
"I know that NOW!"
A lot of cuss words had come out of Emily's mouth that day, because her son had crawled off to God knows where and the house was on fire. Lily had run off to find the baby, who she found sitting behind the steps playing with sock he'd found while Grace and Emily battled the fire. No one was hurt, but the swear jar got a hefty deposit that day.
The swear jar had been Emily's idea. They were trying to teach the girls that every word they said mattered, and also keep their son from stringing a bunch of cuss words together before he was one. It worked sometimes. Alison hated it with a vengeance, because of the two of them she was the one who had the worst temper. And the worse the word was, the higher the fine.
"Bitch doesn't count." Alison frowned. "It is an anatomical word for an intact female dog. It's a medical term and it's in the dictionary." Alison played it off.
"Yeah, but you didn't use it in the right context. I mean, 'fuck' is in the dictionary, too." Grace smarted back.
"Grace Estella!" Alison glared angrily at her.
Grace just smirked back with a mischievous gleam in her eyes.
"She's right." Lily shrugged. "It means 'to fornicate'…"
"We know what it means, Lily." Alison interrupted her.
She glanced at Emily for back up, but her wife was doubled over in hysterics laughing at their smart-mouthed little brats.
"I'm just saying, are we changing what constitutes the rules of a bad word by whether or not it's in the dictionary?" Lily asked. "I mean 'hell' and 'ass' are in the bible."
"So is 'damn'." Grace added.
"Who the hell gave you a bible?" Alison stared at Lily and Grace in surprise.
"Is 'shit' in the dictionary?" Grace faced her sister.
"Okay, that's enough. Knock it off. We have impressionable minds in the room." Emily tried to keep it together. She snorted through her laughter.
"Impressionable minds?" Lily replied with a sarcastic laugh. "I know you're not talking about me and Grace. Sorry to burst your bubble, but we're you're kids. We were always tainted."
Grace opened her mouth to say something, but Alison glared at her.
"Grace, I swear to God if you laugh at that you are going to be grounded for a week. You and Lily may be lost causes, but there is still hope for your little brother and I'll be damned if he is going to end up a little deviant, too."
Two was enough for her. She couldn't handle three hellions. She just couldn't. She looked at Emily, who still had tears in her eyes from laughing so hard. The brunette had a perplexed look on her face, a cheeky expression.
"What?" Alison asked.
"'Dam as in like…a beaver dam, or…damnation?"
"I hate every single one of you." Alison walked over to her purse. She pulled a ten out and shoved it in the jar and then walked back over to her family. "There, now I can say as many damn swear words as I want. I've pre-paid. And I don't see anyone else ponying up, so you can all just shut it."
"Buh…" Sam interrupted their squabble. He was still babbling to himself. His eyes narrowed as if he was trying to comprehend all the words he'd just heard.
He fidgeted around in his chair and frowned, his breaths getting harsher, like he was going to start screaming at any minute.
"BUH!"
"Maybe he's trying to say 'butt'." Grace snickered.
"It's like you want him to say a cuss word." Lily looked at her sister.
"It really wouldn't surprise me if his first word was a swear word. Grace was running around the house screaming 'shitballs' when she was one." Emily shrugged.
"That's awesome." Grace snorted.
"Your grandmother didn't think so. She almost had a coronary." Emily shook her head with a laugh.
"What was my first cuss word?" Lily asked curiously.
"You said 'fuck' when you fell and hit your head on the fireplace when you were thirteen months old. You cried 'ow' and then dropped the 'f' bomb on us. We couldn't punish you because you used it in the correct context." Alison snickered.
"Maybe he's trying to say 'bastard'." Grace looked at her little brother. "I mean, his big sisters are technically bastards…"
"Grace, knock it off. You're being a bad influence." Lily shoved her.
"Buuuuh." Sam said again, drawing it out. The look on his face told them he was getting exhausted trying to communicate with them. He was minutes away from a meltdown.
"Bath?" Lily asked. He did love bathtime. His sisters made it fun for him. Grace blew bubbles and Lily sang to him.
Sam grunted out a bunch of incomprehensible noises that basically sounded like, "you aren't listening to me!" cries.
"Bean?" Grace continued to guess, pointing to the green beans she'd refused to eat, still untouched on her plate.
"Yes, Grace. The name of a bland vegetable is going to be our brother's first word."
"Hey, it is the musical fruit." Grace grinned.
"Are you five?" Lily frowned.
"Buh?" Sam posed it as a question this time, like changing the inflection was going to suddenly make them fluent in 'baby'.
"Bottle? You want a ba-ba?" Lily asked.
A string of frustrated whines and cries came out of Sam's mouth. He started huffing.
"Oh, it's okay, Sammy." Lily reached out and rubbed his chunky little thighs. "Don't be upset."
"Boooo." He tried again.
"Boo? Are you a ghost, little man?" Grace questioned.
Sam was still staring at his moms. He kept looking back at Alison like she should understand what he wanted.
"Beats your first word." Lily smirked at Grace.
"I happen to think that 'chicken nugget' is a perfectly acceptable first word. Much better than your 'bird'."
"Actually, technically your first word was 'no', Grace." Alison corrected her. She added with a mumble, "You haven't stopped saying it since."
"Booooooo!" Sam cried again.
He looked at Emily desperately like "help me here, mom!" and then looked at his sisters and mothers like "what is wrong with you people?" He reached out to Alison, stretching his arms, begging to be picked up. When she leaned forward to take him out of the high chair he pat his little palms against her breasts.
"Boooob."
"Did he just…" Alison glanced down in confusion.
"He did." Emily burst into laughter. Lily and Grace snorted.
"Are kidding me?" Alison laughed.
"So, you're a boob man." Emily squeezed his cheek and laughed.
"Must have gotten that from you," Alison muttered under her breath, hoping the girls hadn't heard it.
They had.
"Gross."
"Ew."
"Overshare." Lily frowned.
"Boob," Sam said again, whining. He clawed at her shirt.
"I think he's telling me it's time to nurse." Alison glanced down at her chest and then looked at her son.
"This is so epic. I'm going to write this in his baby book right now." Grace stood up and started walking away from the table.
"Boob has two o's." Lily followed her.
"I know how to spell, Lily." Grace rolled her eyes.
"Spell onomatopoeia."
"Spell 'Bite Me'."
"Hey, not so fast, girls!" Alison called after them.
Grace and Lily stopped in their tracks and turned around to face her. She motioned towards the swear jar.
"There's still the little matter of you both owing some money to the swear jar. I expect your payments by the end of the night."
"But mom…"
"Nope. Don't want to hear it. We all play by the rules here." Alison cut Grace off.
"We're really making them work for that trip to Disneyworld." Emily laughed.
"We're going to Disneyworld?" Lily perked up. "And Epcot?"
"That." Alison nodded. "Or mommies are getting a new car and taking a trip to Paris and leaving your little heathen asses with your grandmother."
"Swear j…"
"Already prepaid, remember?" Alison smirked at Grace.
Both of them dragged their feet and muttered in 'angry teenage' under their breath. It was a language that both of their mothers were well-versed in.
"God. My mother always said if I had a daughter that she'd be ten times worse than I was. And we have two of them." Alison uttered.
"Oh, come on. They're not that bad in comparison." Emily picked Sam up out of his high chair.
"Yeah, I guess…" Alison paused in thought and a realization hit her, "…hey! Was that a shot at me?"
Emily chuckled.
"Go ahead and take care of the boob-monster. I'll clean up here." Emily passed their son over to her waiting arms.
"Boob." Sam smiled, patting her chest.
"Really, Sam?" Alison sighed. "I thought you were going to be better than your sisters."
"Boob," he said again.
"I heard you the first twenty times."
Alison walked out of the kitchen with Sam in her arms. She got him changed and then sat down in the rocking chair in his nursery. He eagerly latched on to her breast. She watched him nurse.
All of her babies had been so different when they nursed. Lily usually kept her hands against her chest, but didn't move or squirm much. Grace would latch on, then get distracted by something and then it would take her forever to latch on again. And she bit. She was terrible about biting.
With Sam, he always kneaded her skin, so they made sure to keep his nails short. When she felt his little fingers slowing down and sliding away from her body she knew he was almost asleep. His suckling slowed down.
It was only when she slowed the rocking chair that she realized Emily was in the doorway watching. She had a soft smile on her face.
"I love seeing you with him like this." Emily admitted. She quietly crept into the room. She loved their family.
Alison smiled.
"Can you take him so I can get situated?" Alison questioned.
Emily reached down and they carefully moved him from Alison's arms into Emily's. They had become experts at "pass the baby" without waking him. Alison rolled her shoulder and grabbed a wipe to clean up a little of Sam's spit up while Emily carried him to his crib. She kissed him on the forehead and then gently laid him down. His mouth was still twitching like he was still sucking on Alison's breast. Alison walked over and looked down at him.
"He's precious when he's asleep." Alison stood on her tip toes and leaned her chin against Emily's shoulder.
"He really is."
Sam squirmed a little and moved his head like he was getting ready to cry.
"Crap, don't wake up. Don't wake up." Alison whispered under her breath, ready to duck down like she was avoiding a firefight in Vietnam.
Getting him down wasn't always easy. He rolled his head back and let out a content sigh instead of a loud wail. His mothers breathed a sigh of relief.
They tiptoed out of his room.
"So, boob, huh?" Emily chuckled.
"It's a weird one." Alison nodded with a laugh.
"Wait until Hanna hears about it."
"I actually feel kind of honored. He likes my boobs so much that it was his first word."
"I like your boobs, too."
"Would you like to play with them?" Alison questioned cheekily.
"Yes, please." Emily grinned.
Alison grabbed her hand and pulled her towards their bedroom. They ran down the hallway giggling like two school-girls and then disappeared into their room, locking their door behind them.
Emily pushed Alison up against their bedroom door and put one arm up next to her face. She leaned in for a slow sensual kiss. When she pulled away, Alison was smiling at her.
"You are so damn sexy." Alison bit her lip.
Emily put her forehead against Alison's and a wicked grin spread across her face. She nibbled against Alison's lower lip and then pulled away.
"Swear jar."
"I'm paid up." Alison could feel a shock of desire shooting down into her belly and drifting lower. The stiffness from nursing Sam had given way to her passion for her wife. "So, let's do dirty things."
Emily grinned and lifted her brows. They quickly let their passion escalate. They'd found a balance between making each other feel good and doing it in a timely manner. Because with three kids it wasn't often they had the chance to be alone.
Alison used up every last cent that she'd deposited into the swear jaw. And by the time they were finished, Emily owed another ten dollars.
