Yay, so finally some questions getting answered in this one. Zach finally explaining everything, which hopefully makes sense plot wise, ha. It made sense in my head :P Some more questions about Carrie/Cathy which get answered too. Yes, I was rather careful about making her nondescript and less likely to be suspected. I think I mentioned only in her intro that her hair was red, and never again because Cammie's so busy looking for a threat elsewhere, she doesn't notice it right in front of her. Ugh, The Circle playing with my baby's brain. Anyway, I guess this is them catching a break. Cathy revealing herself would've been their first plan of attack: a warning. So, things might lay low for some time while they recuperate and plan ahead ^_^.
Thank you for the readership! I am forever honored :D And let me know what you think :)
Also, to the lovely reviewer who asked why I made Zach's eyes obsidian: Because Cammie says in the fourth book that Zach has very dark eyes :) And originally I'd assumed it meant dark as in filled with dark emotion. But then I realized that 1) Cammie has never held back on describing eye colors before, regardless of emotions (because we know Joe has bright green eyes, Macey has blue ones). 2) She's compared his eyes to Catherine's time and again, which I thought was peculiar if she was talking about emotions (since she always points out how different the two of them are). And since Zach doesn't have anything else of his mother's appearance, then I knew she meant dark eye color. I don't actually picture them to be black. I kind of picture them to be dark brown (just like his hair) which looks black in different lightings. I was actually waiting for you to ask this question, because I know it's an extremely popular headcanon for Zach to have green eyes and Cammie to have blue eyes ^_^ And I figured I'd deviate a bit by giving Zach dark brown eyes and giving Cammie hazel ones (since she's always so insistent that nothing about her appearance is bright or loud, and since she's so jealous of Macey's blue eyes). That's also why I gave Ivan green eyes and Lauren blue eyes ;) And thank you so much for your lovely review, it made me very happy :)
- Brooke xx
Chapter Rating: T
Fool Me Once, Fool Me Twice
Chapter Nine
The wall was rough against my back as I sat in the corner of the secure room, waiting for the others to show up. My body screamed with pain and exhaustion, but it was nowhere close to when the poison had been inside me. This was a leftover ache which just needed to be slept off for a few days. My mom had wanted me to stay in bed for longer, but I wasn't having any of it after nearly eight hours of dreamless sleep. All I kept thinking about was the things Cathy had said. A bunch of confusion in my head before she died. I'm sure, that's exactly what she wanted. The Circle had always loved to pick apart people's brains.
I hadn't been to this room since my suspension - my access had been revoked. But when I'd been told I was in the same briefing/debriefing room under the bridge, I hadn't been all that surprised. This was the closest secure position they could hold me in. I'm sure everyone had wanted to take me to a CIA facility to get me checked out but I'd refused. I couldn't bear to be sent away again. I had to be in the middle of things.
"What's on your mind?" asked Zach. He was sitting next to me, holding my hand just as he had been for many hours now. His head was leaning on my shoulder and I shrugged.
"Honestly? Nothing."
"I thought you'd have a dozen questions bursting out of you already."
"That would require having at least some idea of what's happening."
"You don't know the right questions to ask, do you?"
No, I didn't. I knew he wasn't going to tell me anything until the others showed up. This wasn't just us being debriefed. This was his debriefing too. I looked up as I heard footsteps down the staircase. I automatically moved, on edge, and then hissed as pain shot up my torso. Zach squeezed my hand as a reminder that we weren't on a cliff top anymore. We were underground, protected by layers of biometric scans. The first person I saw was Joe. He looked just as dashing as ever (never again could I think of him as hot), but his green eyes were tinged with worry. My mom followed him, then Grant, then Abby and Townsend. They were followed by two other men in suits, and badges clipped to their chests. But the badges didn't specify which intelligence agency they were from. Zach stood up, walking over to them.
They took him aside, talking to him in low, curt tones. He nodded, his gaze unwavering, his back straightened as they continued to debrief him. I kept my eyes on him the whole time. It took a minute or two, but then they both shook both his hand and left. Zach walked back to us, dragging a chair and sitting down on it. I wanted to get up and stand like everyone else but everything hurt.
"Whatever I tell you guys right now, I'm only allowed to for Cam's safety. And because we're the ones who mainly dealt with the Circle last time," he said. We all nodded. I thought that much was obvious. But Zach's gaze lingered on me.
"I'm serious. Bex, Liz, Macey...even Elaine or Dayna can't know of this."
I felt offended. I knew what covert meant.
"Why aren't you telling Grant not to tell Bex?" I demanded.
"Because," Grant cut in. His voice was hard like steel, but I knew it wasn't directed at me. "Because I grew up learning how to be a hit man. I've learnt from the start that this kind of stuff stays between your bosses and you."
I swallowed, turning to Zach. He looked troubled, but he continued.
"I knew Cathy from Blackthorne. I was in the seventh grade when I met her. She'd graduated from Gallagher two years before, but unlike her other classmates, she'd wanted to teach other people like her. She always said that she learnt the most from her teachers and she wanted to give back. But Gallagher already had all required positions filled and she didn't have enough experience. So, she came to Blackthorne, instead."
"Blackthorne has female teachers?" I asked.
"Don't you have male teachers?" Zach asked, nodding towards Joe and Townsend. I conceded to that. I just couldn't picture Cathy in Blackthorne. Maybe it was because I'd only ever associated it with the word boys.
"I didn't know she was my aunt. I didn't know until...well until Cam told me. I guess it was obvious but I didn't want to believe it. Anyway, she was always on campus and she was close to most of the students. Especially some of us, like Grant and I."
"What did she teach?" asked Abby.
"Not a subject. Like I said, she didn't have enough field experience. She overlooked the mandatory counseling we all had to go through twice a week."
They had mandatory counseling? Why? The answer came quick to me, in the form of a memory: They teach us how to live with ourselves after.
"Why was she close to you and Grant and those other handful of students?"
Zach looked uncomfortable answering this, so Grant spoke up.
"Because we had potential. Which meant they'd use us a lot once we graduated, and that meant we had to go through more rigorous counseling than some of the others."
"Anyway," Zach said. "She stayed with us till we were in the ninth grade. But by that time the curriculum had already started to change, thanks to Joe. They were teaching us more how to save lives than to take them. We were still being taught to be killers, but we were being reminded more and more that things like that were a last resort. Cathy knew they were going to fire her at some point. I think she was happy about it. We were sad to see her go, but she reminded us that it was a good thing that we didn't need her."
"But you recognized her, both of you. The first day you guys came here," I pointed out. "When you met my other roommates."
"We did," Zach admitted. "But we didn't want to point it out. Covers were too important. I thought you and her were the undercover agents assigned to Dayna. I'd heard she'd joined the CIA, so I figured she was also roped into protecting her. I hadn't seen her in years. But then we went back to Roseville, and Dillon said that a redhead named Cathy had been the one to get Josh into Gallagher. I didn't want to believe it. I had to make sure it was the same Cathy."
That's when it had changed, I realized. The moment when Zach had started pulling away. The minute we'd pressed pause on Dillon's confession tape, his entire body language had altered. I suddenly felt a connection to that alteration. Had I changed too, that day in London, when my own teacher had looked at me with crazy eyes and asked me to follow the pigeons? No, I probably hadn't. Not like him. Or maybe I just didn't remember changing. Because I'd always wished Joe was good; and he was. Zach had always known Cathy was a traitor; and he'd had to take her life.
"I started hanging out with her more and more. She told me stories of how she'd been all over Europe after the fire at Gallagher. How she'd decided to take a sabbatical and just get a break from everything that had gone haywire. But I'd already contacted CIA to confirm her identity. They told us she had taken a sabbatical, and her last job had been to be part of the guards who were supposed to escort my mom out of Gallagher and to her secure facility. As it turned out, after she'd ensured her ...sister was alive, she went underground. Preparing herself to come to Georgetown. Either to keep an eye on Cammie, or Dayna. Both were targets of the Circle, and she had them together. It didn't matter that my mom wanted to stop the war. Dayna was still a target and not one as important as Amirah, so they probably weren't worried about her life."
I remembered what my mom had said about there not being any redhead on the security tapes the night of the fire. Of course, we'd considered disguises and that was exactly what had happened. Cathy had been there that night. Stalking Roseville to find a potential candidate to take her sister's place. Finding Josh. Blackmailing Dillon. Ensuring that nobody found out what had happened to Josh...until now. And keeping an eye on the rest of us.
"I knew I wasn't going to be able to get her to tell me anything until I pretended to be her friend. So, I told her I wanted to talk to her alone about something important. As it turned out, she'd been running all over D.C, using Alex as an identity, so nobody would find her the whole time we were in London and Roseville. After all, people still thought she was in Europe. When I met her, I lied to her that I knew enough about the Circle because of who my mother was. Either she was an agent who was going to tell me to share that with the intelligence agencies, or she was going to try and recruit me. There was a slim chance of either, but she went with the latter. It took me a couple of days to get under her skin and earn her trust. I think, she already knew what I was up to and didn't mind. She'd already been given orders to target Cammie."
His voice was thick at this point, and he swallowed.
"When I relayed this information back, they told me there was no point bringing her in. There was nothing she knew that we didn't already know - since she'd been recruited so late and she was still so young. She wasn't going to switch sides. She wasn't going to crack either. So, she was just a threat who had to be eliminated. Especially since she lived with both Dayna and Cammie. They ordered a hit on her, and I was told to do it because I'd learnt her patterns. After I talked to Cammie in the diner, I told Grant to keep an eye on her while I tailed Cathy. But you weren't supposed to be there," he said, turning to me. His eyes held a sense of fear and I knew why. Cathy and I had been fighting when she'd been shot. And most of her moves had involved throwing me around suddenly. If Zach had timed the hit wrong, then I'd be the one dead.
"But I had to take the hit. I was on a time limit. And I did. I moved to make sure Cammie was safe, but she'd already fallen. So, I backtracked and went to the shore."
"I was already there," Grant interrupted, taking over. "I knew where Cammie was because I had eyes on her. That cliff can be seen from Canal Road and I could see her. But then I met Craig and he told me that Cathy was going over to talk to her. I'd already been warned that Cathy was a threat. Then we saw Cam fall and I went in to pull her out."
Everyone fell quiet and I closed my eyes, leaning my head against the wall. I could hear the others whispering and talking, clarifying details. I tuned it out, trying to wrap my head around the fact that the Circle had once again tried to kill me. No, they hadn't tried to kill me. They'd warned me that they were coming. It was all perfectly timed and I'd walked into a trap. Even if I hadn't been on that cliff, Cathy would've still detonated the poison ball inside me. I would still be in this condition. And if I hadn't finished that beer, Craig would've been poisoned, and I'd still be warned of the game they were playing.
"What happens next?" I whispered and everyone turned to look at me.
"You need to rest, Cammie. Take it easy. The whole point of being on suspension -" Joe started but I sat up, ignoring the pain.
"That's it, isn't it? I'm on suspension. I haven't done anything. But I still got into this. Even if I hadn't followed Zach the previous day, Cathy would've still slipped poison into my food and drinks. It didn't matter. It doesn't matter. My own roommate was a double agent. We can't trust anyone."
"We know that -"
"But that's not it," I said. Everyone looked at me expectantly, though I knew everyone had already figured it out.
"Catherine knew Mom would find that trail of blood. We're all Gallagher Girls. We're all trained the same. She knew it was a matter of time. And then when everyone was alerted of Josh's death, the moles in the CIA must've taken it back to the Circle that the wheels were turning. Dillon's confession was obvious. They knew we could get it out of him - that's why they picked a civilian. Then Cathy had orders to reveal herself in time to warn me. And they knew she'd die too because she wasn't supposed to be taken in for questioning. It's a warning - but for what? The Circle has better things to do then sit and chase me around the world. They're too many of them with problems of their own to play cat and mouse with me."
"Yes, but Cathy was working with Catherine. She does have time to do that," Abby pointed out. "She lives off that stuff."
"But she could've easily made the poison lethal. I would've died before I even hit the water. They want me dead - and Catherine would've had her revenge if her own sister did it."
"What are you saying?" Grant asked.
"I wish I knew," I groaned, pressing my hand to my temple. "Something isn't right. They're keeping me alive again, for something. Either it really is a game. Or it's something else. Something that happened that summer which they need me again for."
"They won't get to you again," Townsend pointed out and I nodded. I almost believed him. But I needed to know what it was that they needed of me.
I needed Liz, I suddenly realized. She was the one who I relied on most to find me a decent antidote to any medicine. I had to talk to Liz. I made a mental note to contact her as soon as I got out of here. I noticed everyone leave, except for Zach, Grant and Townsend. It was if we were back to the original Georgetown team. Townsend turned to me, and I realized I was being debriefed after what happened on the cliff yesterday evening.
"Do you know what you're going to say?"
I nodded.
"I was hanging out with Carrie. There was a bandit or something, probably a small time thief, who was escaping via the woods to keep out of public eye. He panicked when he saw us, thinking we'd go to the cops. We tried to fight him. It happened so fast. He shot Carrie. I tried to get to him, but he pushed me off the cliff. I don't remember his face, because I was panicking too much."
He sighed, and then nodded before leaving. Grant tossed lens cases to both of us, and I groaned. Turns out my gorgeous blue eyes had been damaged after being tossed around in the river. I put them in, wincing as I lifted my arm to do so. Blinking to set them in place, I watched Zach do the same. He threw away the boxes, then held out his hand and pulled me up. I winced as he put an arm around me and led me back to Henle Hall.
"You look terrible," he whispered in my ear.
"Always the charmer," I rolled my eyes.
"No, you're supposed to look terrible," he reminded me, before Grant opened the door to my apartment.
"Lauren!" came a shriek and I couldn't have been more surprised to realize it was from Alex. She looked like a mess, tears in her eyes as she quickly hurried to us. She looked like she was scared that I was too fragile. She thought I was too fragile. The girl who called me Karate Kid. She simply reached out and took my hand, squeezing it.
"I'm so glad you're okay," she whispered. Behind her, Dayna hurried over, her eyes equally teary. I didn't understand why they were all crying when I was fine. Then I realized they thought the person who'd pushed me had killed their friend Carrie. They didn't know she was a terrorist. They didn't know she was the one who'd done this. They were just mourning their friend. And I couldn't take that from them - not when, a few weeks ago, I'd been mourning mine. If I'd been made to believe Josh was a bad person after he was killed, I'd be devastated. It was a good thing that they didn't know.
I turned to look around and saw Aaryan and Elaine sitting on the couch. Both had their heads bowed down, looking shocked (though Elaine looked like she was trying to figure something out). They weren't crying though. And then there was Craig. He was looking right at me, as if he was seeing a ghost. He stood up and walked up to me, not saying a word. He simply took my hand and placed the bracelet in it.
"Craig," I whispered.
"I held onto it," he said in a low voice. "You told me to - that's the last thing you - you told me to hold onto it. So, I did. It was the only thing I had to hold onto." I squeezed the bracelet between my fingers, the metal digging into my skin. I smiled at him, before groaning low again.
"Guys, the doctors said she needs to sleep," Grant said and they all moved, letting Zach lead me to my room. He closed the door behind us, helping me into bed. I moved aside the covers, patting the spot beside me. He looked hesitant before getting in, wrapping his arms around me. I put the bracelet on top of his chest. His hand came up to trace the carvings.
"She gave me this before she left Blackthorne," he whispered softly. "She was saying goodbye, and she told me her mother gave it to her. It was a family heirloom. She said that she didn't have anyone to pass it onto, so she thought I should have it since she thought of me as a kid brother. She said, it was about time that some other family got to have it. I guess she was passing it down, in some twisted way."
He moved to throw it in the trash, but I took it back.
"I don't take kindly to people throwing my gifts in the trashcan."
He looked down at me.
"That's - that thing is a reminder of her and that entire messed up family. We can get another tracker. Why would you?"
"You're part of that family. It's not all that shabby. Because you gave it to me. Because it's your heirloom and you own it. Plus, it's proved to be incredibly useful."
"Still not trusting me?" he whispered.
"No," I said, leaning up to press a kiss to his jaw. "Just reminding you that it's a part of a whole." I tapped his chain.
"You're -"
"Would you throw away the chain if you found out that some hag of an aunt of mine had been the previous owner? Would you, if I'd had it for a long time and wanted to gift it to you?"
He didn't say anything, which was an answer enough. I took it and wrapped it around me wrist, re clasping it. I found myself wondering how Craig had handled it when it had started buzzing and going red. I had to remind myself to ask him that. Zach seemed to notice my expression because he started speaking again.
"He was very scared...Craig, I mean. He'd been there with...Hugh, to see you fall. He was beyond terrified, especially when Hugh dove in to bring you up. He was the one who ran back to call the medics and the cops."
"Medics and cops? But they didn't show up. I was with you guys."
"That's because we're in line with the emergency operators. Townsend stepped in and told them they were the ones handling it, and took over."
I nodded, humming in relief and pulling myself closer to him. He rested his chin on my head, his arms tightening around me. He was scared to let go.
"I'm fine," I reminded him. "I'm here. I'm okay."
"But you could've not been. I was there on that cliff. I was there just a few hundred feet away. I should've found a way to - "
"You couldn't have."
"I was so scared. I thought...I thought I'd lost you forever. And all I could think about was that the last conversation we'd had was -"
I shushed him, snuggling closer. He'd said Craig was scared and terrified seeing me fall. I could only begin to imagine what Zach must've felt like. But I knew, didn't I? He felt exactly like how I felt when we'd been in the tombs and he'd thrown himself on those bombs. And that was the worst feeling to have when you had someone to love.
"I wouldn't let you go. After you passed out, I wouldn't let you go even when everyone got there. Craig kept telling me to let them take you but I couldn't."
"How did you?"
"Townsend," he admitted. "He had to pretend to not know me, since he was acting like a cop for the sake of civilian audience. But he snapped me out of it. He said, Son, we've got her. She's going to be alright. I think that's the first time he's called me that. It was probably because he couldn't take my name."
"I think," I said. "It's because he was worried about you and was trying to get through to you."
Zach didn't say anything to that and I didn't add anything. There was nothing to add. He cleared his throat and I looked up, noticing that something else was still troubling him. Something he was dying to say.
"What?"
"At the diner...with Craig...I -"
I remembered the kiss on the cheek and chuckled. Of all the things to be bothering him, he was worrying about that. I had to remind myself that when I'd come home that summer, I'd been worrying about Zach and Bex too, aside from the million other worries I should've been having.
"That was Craig trying to make you jealous so you'd come over and talk to me."
Zach's expression was skeptical but I laughed again. Then, I simply let him hold me close, as I drifted off to sleep, exhaustion taking over.
I woke up to find Zach gone. The empty spot on the bed made me shoot up, sending pain crawling over my body again. Then I realized that he must've just gone back to his own dorm. I rubbed my eyes, catching the time on the alarm clock over my bed. It was three in the morning and I yawned just staring at it. But try as I could, I couldn't fall asleep. All sorts of thoughts crossed my mind. What did the Circle want? What did they want with me? Was it possible that there was yet another thing hidden in my memories and it wasn't the subconscious kind? It was the chemically suppressed kind?
I had to know. I realized that Liz was the only other person who would be awake at this time, since it was around midnight for her. So, I grabbed my laptop from the desk, sitting stiffly on the chair. Luckily, I didn't need any sort of clearance to send a simple encoded email. She responded with an encoded phone number. I grabbed the cell phone I'd been given before starting college, grateful that it still had the untraceable chip inside it.
The phone rang twice before she picked it up.
"Hi, Bookworm," I said.
"Hey, Chameleon. How come you're up so early? Big test?"
Only she would hold onto the hope of that being true. I wanted to tell her my back was killing me but Zach's warning rang in my head. None of them knew what Cathy had done to me. I wasn't allowed to say so.
"Slept in the afternoon," I said. "I need your help."
"With what?" she sounded wary.
"I've been thinking about what...Doc Oc did to my brain with the serum. I've realized that it must be totally flushed from my system by now. So why is it still working?"
"It must've attacked one of the neurotransmitters in your head, causing them to -"
"Simple version."
"It created a sort of detour in your head. Chemicals and electric shocks are what register memories in our brains. And they're what makes us recall them. If he - rerouted them to keep moving in circles without getting them to go where they have to, then you'd be unable to remember."
"Is there a way to...bring them back on track?"
"Chameleon..." she trailed off. I knew she knew a way to do it. The only reason she hadn't sat to create an antidote was because my mother had stressed that whatever I remembered could be dangerous to me and the people around me. I could tell she didn't want to do it, even though we weren't in school anymore. The Circle was still out there. I could still be a target.
"They can't come for me if they don't know I remember," I reminded her. "It'll be just between you and me."
She hesitated.
"Please," I said, sounding desperate. I didn't know how much of it was acting and how much of it was real. "Bookworm, please. I can't go on like this, forever wondering. If anything, that's what'll make me go crazy."
"I'll see what I can do."
I was equally glad and impatient when I didn't receive word from Liz for the next few days. Either she was ignoring me, or she was working on it. I was hoping it was the second one since the first one didn't seem like her at all. Moreover, I was glad that by the time she came through, the poison and antidotes would both be out of my system. I didn't need things going more haywire with my body. I simply stayed in my room, confined to bed and my laptop. It actually turned out to be nicer than I thought. My friends kept going in and out with food. Zach brought over DVDs for us to sit in bed and watch. Whenever everyone hung out, they crowded my room to do it so I didn't feel left out.
The only moment of awkwardness had been when they'd all apologized that I couldn't get up to go to Carrie's funeral. I hadn't wanted to go. I couldn't bear to. But I'd forced Grant to go, to see it through. He'd come back and informed me that Townsend had been present at it, too. He'd made sure it was an open casket service and then stayed till a few hours after she was buried to ensure that she didn't pull a stunt like Catherine. For all we knew, they'd gone all Romeo and Juliet and given her some kind of chemical concoction to fake her death too. But that hadn't happened. Cathy really was gone.
It was two days later that I woke up, sitting straight. Something must've woken me up and I turned to the digital clock again. The time said it was six. But it was the date that got to me. It was my birthday. And I couldn't even celebrate it since Lauren had a different birthday. My phone beeped and I saw that I'd received an email. It was from Liz, and it was just another encoded number, different from the last one. I quickly dialed it.
"Bookworm, did you -"
"Happy Birthday, Chameleon. No longer a teenager, I see. How does being twenty feel?"
"No different than yesterday. I'll probably feel twenty when I'm a few weeks from twenty one."
"You're starting to sound like a Psych student."
"I am a Psych student. Look, did you -"
"Follow the yellow brick road, Dorothy."
Then she hung up. I stared at my phone. Well, that was unexpected. This was the second Dorothy reference since the ruby slipper exhibit. We didn't use the same codes twice, so I immediately knew what she was talking about. It was a dead drop. I got out of bed, stretching and groaning as my joints popped. I was in no way back to my old self, but at least I wasn't in pain with every movement. I changed my clothes and left the dorms, quietly closing the door behind me so as to not wake anybody up. Realizing that my tracker would probably set off Grant and Zach, I sent them a text saying: all fine. bookworm sent a gift.
I walked out of the university gates, walking along Canal Road till I reached the Key Bridge. Traffic was already heavy, so I simply walked around it, leaning against the start of the bridge. The sun was shining bright and the cold air wrapped around me, making me shiver. I was ready for winter to get over already. I stayed there for fifteen minutes, until something happened. A cyclist sped across the bridge, cutting off a car making a turn. The car screeched to a halt and the cyclist tumbled over. He managed to get up, but his cycle had tipped over. The driver cursed him, continuing on his way. The cyclist shouted back an insult before righting his bike again.
"Excuse me," I called out, picking up a small envelope that had fallen along with his folded up jacket. "You dropped this."
"It's just bills. Feel free to toss it over the bridge, like that ass just tossed me," he said, looking angry and peddling off.
"I'm not your maid!" I called out after him, sounding irritated. Then, I shrugged, moving to drop the envelope into the trashcan. Once I was sure that people around me had thought I'd thrown it, I slipped it into my pocket and headed back to the dorms. I was already tired and I'd only been standing there. I ran into Zach, about five seconds later. He raised his eyebrows at me, but kept a straight face. He simply pretended I'd been waiting for him, putting an arm around my shoulder and walking me back.
"You woke me up, thanks," he whispered, kissing the top of my head. He didn't sound agitated about it.
"What was that biker being an ass for?" he asked.
"I was just following the yellow brick road," I shrugged. He raised his eyebrows higher before pulling me close. We walked back into the campus, heading straight for the dorms again. It was a Saturday, after all.
He followed me into the apartment, where everyone was still asleep. We walked quietly to my room and shut the door behind us. He pulled me close before I could examine the envelope and kissed me. Surprised, I put my arms around him and kissed him back. Momentarily, I forgot all about my pain. He simply held me tight, kissing me until our breaths ran out.
"Happy Birthday, kid," he whispered. I swatted his chest.
"Four months difference. That's it. Four months."
He laughed and I pulled him in for another kiss. He groaned, kissing me back. His kisses got more desperate and I hissed as he bit my lower lip. My hands were running up and down his back and I didn't hesitate to slip them under his shirt. He pulled away quickly, making a tutting noise.
"No, your body's too weak. None of that funny stuff, miss. Keep your hands where I can see them," he scolded. I pouted.
"But it's my birthday."
"I don't care," he said. I made an irritated face, less to do with not getting some fun time and more to do with still being weak. He pulled me close, kissing my cheek and then whispering to me exactly what he'd do to me once I was back to being fit and healthy.
"Zach!" I whisper-yelled, smacking his shoulder, blushing furiously.
He grinned, sitting on my bed. I took off my jacket, taking out the envelope and sitting beside him. He nodded, suddenly understanding the Oz reference. I opened it quickly and examined the contents. There was a small chip and another small envelope. I set the second packet aside, reaching for my laptop. Zach passed it to me, looking curious. I put in the chip, and a small video popped up.
I felt a smile break across my face, as I realized that it was a little video log collaboration from all my friends and family, wishing me a happy birthday. Bex and her family (although her parents were in London, while Bex was in America doing who knows what). There was one from Liz, and from Jonas who was back in Tokyo. There were messages from my mom and Abby, Joe and even Townsend (although it was just a 'Many happy returns of the day, good luck' and then blank). My grandparents wished me too, although that one was a bit long since they were figuring out the camera. They probably thought it was going on YouTube like all the normal kids did it. As soon as the video shut itself, I pulled out the chip. There must've been a sensor on it because it sparked and then fizzled, destroying itself. I tossed it in the trash.
"What's in the other packet?" Zach asked. I sighed, opening it and dropping the contents on my lap. A small box fell out, with a letter. I opened the folded piece of paper and in Liz's neat handwriting, it said: Might cause some nausea and dizziness. 0.00012% chances of brain damage.
Well, that was very reassuring. But it was completely Liz, to rattle off all the side effects even if they were a statistical anomaly. I opened the box and in a protective case lay a syringe. It held a liquid which looked like mercury - although I was sure Liz wasn't intent on poisoning me.
"What's that?" whispered Zach. "What're you up to?"
No secrets. Not the ones we didn't have to keep.
"It's an antidote to the chemical Dr. Steve used to make me forget that summer I ran away."
Zach turned on the bed, looking angry.
"No. No way."
"It's my choice."
"Listen to me," he said, putting his hand on my cheek. "Those are things which you don't want to remember."
"You don't know that."
"I do know that. There's a reason people who go through all that suffer from severe PTSD. It's trauma. Even without it, you were a mess after you came back."
"That's because I was being brainwashed!"
"I'm not talking about losing time or what happened with the song, or the roof. I'm talking about the nightmares and the sleep walking -"
"This could tell me why they're after me. Why they won't kill me already. I might know something."
"Cam -" his voice dropped to a whisper. "You don't want to do this."
"I do," I reassured him.
"There are people out there who might try to grab you again if they think you know. Or another cell which might try to kill you if you remember."
"They don't know that I know. This isn't Dr. Steve anymore. It's you and me and Liz. Nobody else knows."
He frowned, shaking his head. His hand came up to run through his hair.
"I don't like this."
"You don't have to. But this is my choice."
He didn't say anything, simply watching me. I was surprised he didn't grab it from me and crush it under his foot. But I knew that our trust was freshly back on all clear track, and it was on shaky ground. I took the syringe, uncapping it. I didn't worry about local anesthetics. I simply held it in my hand.
"You're going to stab your eye out with that. Give it here," he said, taking it from me. I wanted to tell him that I knew how to give an injection, but he said nothing. He just took my arm, running his fingers over the crease of my elbow until he found a vein to tap. Then he took the injection, getting rid of any air bubbles. The way he was looking at the syringe made me think that, in another life, he'd have made a hot doctor.
Then he inserted the needle into my skin, and I forgot all about seriously unmentionable doctor scenarios which were dragging my mind to the gutter. I felt the chemical enter my system - or I imagined it to, anyway - until the syringe was empty. Zach slowly pulled it out, putting it back in the box and pocketing it, probably to dispose it off responsibly. I waited for any of the side effects to magically kick in but nothing happened.
"No what?" Zach asked. "We wait?"
"Now we wait."
