Title: The Lucky Ones

Characters: James "Bucky" Barnes & Loki

Captain America/Thor crossover, though it takes place during the Captain America timeline, so before the events in Thor. We'll get to those at some point.

Rated M for slash

A/N - Long time reader, first time writer. I don't own the characters, just the plot.


This chapter is a bit different, in that I had to bring these two from the 1940's setting of Captain America, to the current post-Avengers time period. I went pretty AU with Bucky, as I didn't want to get into the whole Winter Soldier, cryogenic freezing stuff. Loki's part pretty much follows the events of Thor and Avengers, though in a very abbreviated way(especially Avengers! LOL Three hours of movie in about 3 paragraphs). You guys all know what happened in those movies anyway, right? I would hope so! If not, I suggest you go watch them before you read, or you might be lost. I promise this is the last extremely angsty chapter, at least for the time being! Thank you in advance for reading, and please review! Also, if you see any typos, PLEASE PM me or leave it in a review. I would rather know about them so I can fix them than leave them hanging out there for everyone else to see. I beg you, dear readers!


-The Lucky Ones- Chapter 9

Bucky spent a few days with his sister and her husband. Their company helped him get through the toughest part of settling back into life. As surreal as it seemed, to be doing such normal things as helping to cook dinners and going to the bar for drinks with Adrian, really seemed to help Bucky come to terms with everything. Both Becky and Adrian were extremely sympathetic to what had happened, and each of them spent a lot of time making sure he was okay.

Then, the news came. Captain America had been in a plane crash and was lost at the bottom of the ocean. Bucky was beside himself with grief. He blamed himself. He had sat there in the comfort of Becky's home, wallowing in his own self pity, instead of going back to the military first thing. If he had been by his side, Steve wouldn't be missing. That was all there was to it. The very next morning, Bucky went and reported back for duty. And a few days after that, he was saying yet another tearful goodbye to his sister.

"If you get sent back to Germany, go and see Loki," said Becky, after hugging her big brother tight.

Bucky gave her a small smile. "I will try, Sis." That familiar stab of pain went through his heart once more, though it seemed to be getting less intense. Maybe he was just getting used to it.

The next few days was a whirlwind of activity. Bucky met up again with Colonel Phillips, who was astonished to see him alive, and immediately sent him in for medical tests. After a few maddening days of every sort of medical procedure available to doctors, it was determined that the experiments Schmidt had been doing had altered Bucky's physical make up. It was similar to what had happened to Steve, but since Schmidt had been using his own version of the formula, the effects were different. Only time would tell what those differences would amount to.

Peggy Carter came into the medical facility to see Bucky a few days into his stay. It was no surprise that she had been in love with Steve, and she missed him terribly. Bucky knew all about that, about missing the one you love. The two talked for a long time, about Steve, about the past, and what the future might hold for each of them. Peggy was thinking of asking for a discharge from the army to go back home to her family. There was something about heartbreak that made you want to return to the comfort of family. Bucky knew he couldn't do that, though. He held so much guilt inside for not being there by his friend's side when Steve needed him. He needed to do what he could.

Colonel Phillips had things he could do. Phillips offered the suggestion that Bucky take over as Captain America, in Steve's absence. Though the prospect of trying to step into those shoes was both intimidating and heart wrenching, Bucky was glad to have something to keep him occupied.

The next few years passed quickly. Bucky threw himself into every mission they assigned to him. He was ruthless against the Nazis, against anyone he was ordered to kill. He was not nearly the clean cut, good old boy Captain America that Steve had been. No one invited him to do stage performances with dancing girls and fireworks. On his downtime, he was usually out with Howard Stark, who was using his technical and financial resources to try to locate Steve's body. They were never successful, but Bucky had formed a friendship with Howard, and spending his time searching helped to assuage some of Bucky's guilt.

When the war ended, Bucky was sent home with several medals of honor. He accepted the medals graciously, but they meant nothing to him. There was an underlying sadness in Bucky's heart that made almost everything seem pointless. Many months had been spent perfecting the mask Bucky wore to hide that melancholy. Unlike the Captain America one, this mask was worn all the time. Only in the darkest hour of the nights when Bucky was too worn out to fight it off, did he allow himself to drop that barrier and feel the emotions that constantly threatened to undo him. Those nights became more and more rare, though, as the years went on. And then the sadness, and the facade he built to block it, became as much a part of him as breathing.

Settling down in a small home near his sister, Bucky learned to live life as a civilian again. A new Oreo cookie factory had opened up just outside the town, and they hired him to work on the production line. It was hard work, but the pay was good and he enjoyed taking the cookies home. He felt genuine elation when each of Becky's three children were born. Uncle Bucky was a huge deal to those kids, and he loved them each very much. Despite the nearly constant company of his family, Bucky was lonely. He tried to deny it, but it was there. On those occasions when he and Adrian went to the bar, or even when he was out with Becky and the kids, women tried to approach him. He shot them down without even thinking. Then, at his sister's insistence, he decided to give things a try. With a woman. It was a disaster. Bucky had lasted almost a month with her, before they both realized that his heart was just not into it. Lots of angry words were said, and the girl left brokenhearted. He didn't try again.

He wasn't exactly sure when he first noticed anything unusual. Maybe it was when Becky had been complaining about some new gray hairs she noticed or when the wrinkles appeared on the corners of her eyes. Close examination in his own mirror revealed not one single gray hair or any wrinkle on Bucky's smooth face. His body had not changed at all, his muscles were still toned and his skin still firm. Huh, Bucky thought. Must be a side effect of the stuff Schmidt had given him. He wondered how long it would last, if he should start to consider immortality. It was true that he hadn't had a single illness, no cold, flu, or even infection since his time in Schmidt's laboratory. But had he stopped aging completely, or just slowed down? Only time would tell.

And time did tell. Bucky watched as his sister and Adrian aged well past him. They all marvelled at Bucky's youthfulness, even as they became older. The children grew up and began to live their own lives. Still Bucky remained the same. It was especially difficult when he had to bury his younger sister, though she had lived a full and happy life. She had been an elderly woman, and Bucky was still a young man. When Adrian passed away shortly after his wife, Bucky decided to move away. With some lucky investments, there was enough money to live comfortably for the foreseeable future. He had long ago learned not to think too much on what may come later than that.

With no real desire to live anywhere else, Bucky decided to move to New Mexico. It was silly, he knew, but he couldn't think of another place on Earth he'd rather go. He wasn't really chasing down a connection to Loki, it was just the only place that seemed to call to him. A few months after settling in, Bucky drove himself out to where he believed to be the spot he returned to earth all those years ago. He parked his car on the side of the road and got out. Leaning against the hood, looking out over the desert and the late afternoon sky, he reminisced about Loki for a long time. The memories did not pain him as they had before, and he was able to think fondly on his time in Asgard. A part of his heart would always love and long for Loki, but he was ready to put that sadness behind him now. Bucky wanted to start living again. After the sunset made the sky dark and the air chilly, he got into his car and drove away.

Even though he was technically an old man, he never felt it. His mind stayed sharp and his body active. Once in New Mexico, he fell in easily with a group of friends who were also in their twenties. He never told them about his past. Maybe he was making up for lost time, or maybe he was trying to overcompensate for that lingering sadness, Bucky didn't know. He had wanted to start living, and living he did. The nightlife there was not nearly what it had been in New York, but Bucky didn't let that stop him. He was out drinking, dancing, and even dating almost every night. Waking up with beautiful women and having no recollection of who they were, was a common occurrence. Never men, though. He flirted with nearly anyone, but he could never bring himself to take things further with another man. Bucky might have felt shameful about his new lifestyle, had he allowed himself any time to think about it. But he kept his days and nights filled with all the vices he had denied himself for so long.

When the story came out in the news, about strange happenings down in a nearby town, it piqued Bucky's interest. Apparently some stuff fell from the sky, which struck him as entirely too familiar. The details were vague though, and Bucky considered driving down there to investigate. In the end, he decided he was being foolish. He couldn't bring himself to believe that it really had anything to do with Loki. If he opened his heart up to that possibility, he knew he wouldn't be able to handle the heartbreak again. Soon the whole thing was forgotten.

However, a year or so later, something happened that Bucky could not ignore. News reports showed an alien attack on New York! And yet, the aliens were not what made him stop and take notice. There, on the TV, on the streets of New York, was Captain America! Bucky could not believe his eyes. Steve had been found, and was alive! Relief and happiness and confusion threatened to overwhelm him. Then, when he saw the video of a large blond man dressed in very familiar armor on his screen, he very nearly fainted. It was Thor! Did that mean...? He strained his eyes trying to see, but he did not catch any glimpse of Loki, nor did any news reporter mention him. But if Thor was there, could he get word to his brother? Would he be able to see him again? As hard as Bucky had worked to shove away those feelings, all the years he spent shutting them down, it was all undone in seconds. The thought of seeing Loki again caused his to heart stutter in his chest and made him want to climb out of his skin in anticipation. Nothing else mattered anymore.

He immediately chartered a private plane to take him as close to the city as he could get. His best friend was there. A connection to the love of his life was there. He couldn't travel fast enough. The Avengers team had managed to take down the alien invaders, though not without great cost. It was difficult to get into the city with all the chaos and clean up in the aftermath of the battle, but he was determined and he finally made it. Managing to secure a hotel room near Central Park, Bucky spent his first day there trying to track down the whereabouts of the superhero team. No luck the first day, but on the second, he picked up rumors of them gathering right next door in the park. He immediately rushed off in search of them.

Most of the team was dressed casually, which made them hard to spot. Bucky eventually found them, though. He was about to call out to Steve when he saw something that made his heart and his feet stop. There was Thor, not casually dressed at all, but standing out in his Asgardian armor. That wasn't what made him freeze though. Standing next to Thor, in chains and a muzzle, looking beat up, but more beautiful than words could describe, was Loki.

-oooooooooooooooo-

Life for Loki returned to normal fairly quickly. He was already so skilled at keeping his true feelings to himself, that it was easy to slip back into that old habit. In the beginning, Thor had felt so badly for Loki that he spent nearly every waking hour with him, trying to make his brother feel better. Loki was grateful at first, but he grew weary of it. Eventually, Loki got so fed up with his brother's pity, he blew up at him one day. Thor allowed Loki to rage, and then left without a word. Nothing was ever spoken about it again.

After a short time, Odin awoke. Loki avoided him as much as possible, still not ready to forgive or forget. Every once in a while, Loki would see if that barrier was still in place, but every time, it was. The dog tags remained around his neck, but always hidden under his clothes. He couldn't bring himself to take them off. It felt too final. Loki wasn't ready to let go of Bucky completely. The memories he had were cherished, kept close at all times, and thought of frequently. Otherwise, the despair would overwhelm him.

Loki used his time working on his magic, and became quite the sorcerer. All of Asgard knew his skill and they knew his temper, so they left him alone. As he continued to search for a way through that blasted barrier, Loki managed to find lots of secret ways to other realms. He spent lots of time traveling other realms, even trying roundabout ways to sneak to Midgard, but was never successful. Eventually, he stopped trying and settled into life being a dutiful son, brother and prince.

Still, mischief called to him, and he rarely fought the urges when they arose. Which was why, on the day that his brother was to be appointed king, a group of Frost Giants found their way into Asgard. Loki had long harbored resentment towards his older brother. Every wish granted, every action praised, every honor bestowed, and now the highest of them all. The crown, the throne of Asgard. Thor was not ready to rule anything. He was too immature, too quick to anger, too brash in his reactions. A few Frost Giants in the weapons vault would surely cause the coronation to cease. It was easy enough to pull off and when Odin paused right before announcing Thor as king, Loki did his best to hide his glee.

That glee died though, when Thor overreacted, and decided to drag not only Loki, but his friends as well, to Jotunheim to confront the Frost Giants. Loki should have known Thor would take that route. He was so eager to fight, and had so few chances to do it. Little did he know how his life would change during that trip.

In that icy realm, after Thor's temper was lost, and the battle begun, a burly Frost Giant grabbed Loki's arm, instantly freezing away the armor protection. It broke into shards of frozen leather, leaving the giant's hand gripping Loki's bare skin. Just moments before, Volstagg had been badly burned by a Jotun's icy flesh, yet Loki's skin merely tingled and turned as blue as the creature in front of him. Shock ran through his system, but he held it together long enough to slay the giant and escape with the others to the bifrost site. Odin came and saved the day, thanks to Loki's alerting one of the guards to tell him what was going on.

Back in the Bifrost room, Odin raged at Thor for his irresponsible and unforgivable behavior. Normally, Loki would have sat back and enjoyed the golden child getting disciplined, for it happened so rarely. This time, Loki watched in shock and outrage as Odin decided to punish Thor by banishing him. To Midgard of all places! Loki couldn't help but view this as yet another dig at him. All he had wanted for so very long, was to go to Midgard, and no. But Thor goes as "punishment"? As badly as Loki wanted to jump into the tunnel after Thor, he knew it would be pointless. Bucky would have probably passed on after so many years. That was one thing Odin was correct about. Humans' lives were much too short. Loki just glared at Odin, who retreated from the room after casting out one son and causing the other to hate him even more. He wondered if either of those actions bothered the king at all.

Loki's skin looked so...normal. Even under intense scrutiny, Loki could see no trace of anything unusual. It was pale and smooth, just like it had always been. But something was different. He knew that for certain. The weapons vault held a glowing blue box called the Casket of Ancient Winters. Long ago Odin had stolen it from the Jotun king, Laufey, who had been using it to terrorize the humans on Earth. A great battle ensued and both princes grew up hearing the tales of that war. Like all Asgardian children, they grew to loathe the Frost Giants as vile, vicious creatures. The casket had always fascinated Loki, though he had been instructed never to touch it. On this day, he cared not for those warnings, and walked into the vault and right up to the pedestal where the glowing box sat.

He looked at it for a few moments, then gently lifted it. His fingers tingled again, like they had when the giant touched him. As the sensation began to seep up his arms, into the rest of his body, bringing an intense cold with it, he heard Odin call out to him.

"Am I cursed?" Loki asked, without turning.

"No," Odin replied quickly.

"What am I?" demanded Loki.

"You're my son" came the answer. It wasn't enough. Loki put the casket back onto the pedestal and turned to face his father.

"What more than that?" The truth was so apparent to him then. He could see it in Odin's face, even with one eye covered. It all made sense.

"The casket wasn't the only thing you took from Jotunheim that day, was it?" Loki very nearly spat.

Odin finally revealed the truth that Loki had suspected. Not only was he a Frost Giant, but he was the throwaway son of their king, Laufey. His own father had abandoned him, and this replacement father had rejected him on nearly a daily basis. All his life, he had felt like an outsider. All that time spent wondering where those feelings came from, if he was really just crazy. It all made sense now, why Thor was favored all those years. As Loki raged, Odin sagged down to the steps he'd been standing on. It wasn't until the old king's eyes closed and he fell back that Loki realized something was really wrong. The guards came quickly once Loki hollered for them. It had been a long time since Odin woke from his last Sleep, and it was upon him again. Great timing as always, "father," thought Loki, sarcastically.

And then Loki was left with nothing but his own impotent rage. Thor was gone, his mother wouldn't leave Odin's bedside, no one else even pretended to care. With the king asleep, the magic barrier might be down, but Loki didn't bother trying to test it. Bucky was forever lost to him, as well. It was poisoning his mind, he could feel it, but he was powerless to stop it. All the self-loathing, all the hatred, the grief, it seeped into every corner of his mind. He blamed everyone for everything. His fake father for lying to him his whole life. His pretend mother, who knew but also said nothing. But most of all, he blamed Thor for being everything he had wanted to be. Thor was loved, honored and cherished by everyone who knew him, and in the end, there was none of that left for Loki. He'd had something for himself once, but it was stolen from him by those who claimed to love him.

It was when Loki was chosen to fill in for the King, that everything snapped. Suddenly Loki was the one everyone looked up to. The one everyone had to respect and obey. He intended to use his power to right every wrong ever done to him. Oh, but he knew it was only temporary, so he devised a plan that would ensure him that power even after Odin awoke once more. He needed to prove to Odin that he was a worthy son. Traveling to Jotunheim, he faced that worthless birth father of his, and tricked him into coming to Asgard to slay Odin. Once Laufey tried to murder Odin, Loki could step in and become the savior, while at the same time ridding the world of his monster father.

Now to take care of Thor. While on Jotunheim, Loki tested his ability to transport himself. He had suspected that now that Odin was sleeping, it would not be as strong. The magic was tricky, but he managed to do it. He tracked down Thor, who had gotten himself in trouble trying to reclaim Mjolnir, and lied through his teeth about their father being dead. He needed Thor out of the way if his plan was to succeed. Thor had lost Mjolnir when he had been banished, and now his beloved father was gone. Breaking his spirit, seeing all hope leave his false brother's face, gave Loki a sharp sense of satisfaction. About time the favored child experienced some heartbreak of his own, Loki thought bitterly. The magic portal was not stable, though, and Loki had to return to Jotunheim sooner than he had wanted. Whatever satisfaction he had felt was once again supplanted by resentment. He hadn't even had a chance to try to find out what had happened to Bucky.

Loki thought he had everything in place. But then, those pesky friends of Thor's managed to sneak away to Midgard, presumably to bring him back. Fed up, Loki sent the Destroyer there to make sure they failed. The Destroyer was the one who failed, however, and Loki knew he had little time before Thor returned to spoil everything. Time to put his plan into action.

Considering himself the rightful owner, Loki took the Casket of Ancient Winters, and went to the Bifrost where he blasted Heimdall into an ice statue. Laufey and some of his soldiers were welcomed into Asgard. However, when Laufey straddled the sleeping form of Odin, ice dagger poised and ready to strike, Loki was there waiting for him. He put on quite the show for his mother, declaring himself Odin's son as he used the kings staff to blast his real father into pieces. It was all ruined when Thor stormed into the room, calling him out. Loki had other plans though, he had no time to deal with his "brother". With another burst of energy from the staff, he shot Thor right through the wall of the king's chambers and then headed to the Bifrost.

Jotunheim was a constant reminder of who Loki was. The part of him that he hated so completely. Loki had convinced himself that if he destroyed the place, and all the monsters living on it, he could more easily deny the fact that he, himself, was one of those monsters. The Bifrost was the perfect weapon, and it was easy enough to start it up. The power the rainbow bridge contained would rip Jotunheim apart if left open long enough. Once the intense energy stream started, Loki allowed ice to form around the power source, effectively locking it on.

It wasn't long before Thor showed up and Loki was more than happy to release some of the anger he'd been holding in for all those years. His jealousy raged violently, especially once he realized that Thor had actually fallen for a mortal while on Earth! Keeping Thor occupied and distracted while the Bifrost did it's damage, Loki spewed words and swung his staff mercilessly at his adoptive brother. The fighting felt so good, cathartic, he could go on forever. But when Thor's hammer was placed on Loki's chest as he lay sprawled on the bridge, he was once again powerless. He lobbed insults instead, as Thor took the time to examine the now out of control Bifrost.

The relief Loki felt when Mjolnir was lifted from his chest was replaced quickly with disbelief as he saw what Thor had planned for it. He was going to destroy the bridge! Loki grabbed his fallen staff and lunged as Thor swung his hammer one last time. The bridge came apart with a massive explosion that threw both gods up in the air. Coming down hard, against the jagged edge of the rainbow bridge, Loki managed to grab hold of the staff. Thor caught the other end, and both of them would have fallen over the edge if Odin hadn't arrived just in time to catch hold of Thor's boot.

Looking up at his adoptive father, desperate to see even the smallest amount of love, or praise, or even approval, Loki tried to explain himself. Once again, Odin rejected him, with a simple "No, Loki." Those words were like Laufey's ice dagger, right through Loki's already damaged heart. He couldn't bear the thought of being rescued, of being saved, by the two people who had betrayed him so badly. Thor had a look of desperation on his face, but Loki was blind to it. Hanging there, his very life in the balance, Loki gave up, and he let go.

-oooooooooooooooo-

All in all, Loki's drop into that abyss, and the things he experienced in the time spent with the creatures he met there, had been not all bad. Sure, the initial impact had nearly killed him, but he recovered. The Chitauri, and their mysterious leader, were not exactly hospitable, but they saw potential in Loki. A mutually beneficial deal was struck. And the best part, from Loki's vantage point, was that he was finally able to travel to Midgard. Of course, now he was in no shape to do much of anything, but at least he could now focus on the realm that had been kept from him for so long. He recovered slowly from his physical injuries, but he recovered.

His emotional health was another matter entirely. Irrational anger still had a strong grip on Loki's mind. The fall and his time with the cruel Chitauri had brought a kind of madness into him as well. His heart had been so empty and hungry, it was easy for all these negative emotions to fill it back up again. The Chitauri gave Loki purpose, and a means to attain that goal. They needed the Tessaract, a powerful magic cube with which they would rule the universe. Loki only wanted to rule Earth, and the mortals who, in his mind, had caused so much of his heartache.

He expected it to be easy. Sure, he had heard about "The Avengers," but he figured he'd be able to outwit them easily. He didn't count on them actually beating him. The moment Thor had shown up, he knew he was in trouble. Thor would protect his precious earth to the end of his own life. Loki attempted to reach that end a few times, but he failed every time. And in the end, that mindless beast they called The Hulk smashed the will to fight right out of him.

Once again, Loki was put in the position where he had no choice but to accept his fate. Thor would take him back to Asgard, where maybe he'd get lucky and live out the rest of his life in a cell. Chances were better that the Chitauri would find him, and make him suffer. There was no way he could suffer much more than he was right then, Loki thought. His whole life was a failure, one big regret. He found he couldn't quite care when the chains and muzzle were put on him. That wretched man who he used to call brother led him, along with the other Avengers, through Central Park. A being not so broken may have felt degraded being dragged in chains through crowds of people, but Loki did not even notice.

The group arrived at the location where the two gods were to use the Tessaract to return to Asgard. Dr. Selvig, who had recovered from Loki's attempt at mind control, handed Thor the Tesseract device. Gripping one end, Thor held out the other side for Loki. Just as Loki's fingers grasped the handle, a voice rang out. An instantly familiar voice. That voice pierced through every bitter layer Loki had wrapped around his heart, and very nearly made it stop beating.

"LOKI!"


To be continued soon! With Loki/Bucky reunion goodness!