The Classic had just finished up and the Tree Hill Ravens cheerleaders were full of energy and excitement. It had finally happened, Brooke's squad came in first place. Sure it helped that Claire Young and her squad hadn't shown up this year but it still felt good. Everything she had set out to do this weekend had been accomplished. Brooke was going back to Tree Hill the most decorated captain in the school's history. Along with the first place trophy for the performance of the routine, Brooke was bringing home a trophy for best original choreography, most improved squad, and best captain.
"Rach, you take this one," Brooke said as she tried to give the "best captain" trophy to her friend.
"No way. You earned it, its yours," Rachel said as she pushed the trophy back toward Brooke.
"But you helped so much and stepped into some big shoes."
"Yeah, well that's because you are the best captain the Tree Hill Ravens cheerleading squad has ever seen. I'm not taking that trophy even if you don't."
"Fine."
Rachel couldn't help but laugh. She'd never seen anyone try to get rid of a trophy like that before. Especially not when the person who didn't want it was so deserving. And Rachel absolutely believed that Brooke was the most deserving of that trophy, as did the rest of the squad. Brooke truly was the best captain. She gave it her all or not at all 100 percent of the time. That's just the kind of dedication Brooke had for her squad and the sport.
"Come on girls, we have to get our stuff together. The bus leaves in 20 minutes. Let's move!" Brooke said as she turned to go back into the hotel.
The rest of the girls followed behind her and went to get their stuff to put it on the bus. Nobody was as excited to get back to Tree Hill as Rachel. Mouth was taking her out to dinner when they got back and she wanted him to see that everything had gone well for her and the baby over the weekend. Brooke had watched out for her as promised and she didn't go crazy like she would have if she weren't pregnant. As soon as she had her bags on the bus Rachel took out her cell phone.
"Hey, I miss you," she said.
"I miss you too," Mouth replied.
"Baby misses you too."
"Oh yeah?"
"Yup. But not half as much as I do."
"Well I'm glad to hear you in such high spirits."
"Of course I am. This weekend was amazing. I definitely think it was the best Classic I've ever been too. And that's saying something cause Peyton has been pissed at me all weekend and I'm not sure if she actually talked to Brooke or not. I couldn't get that out of Brooke but whatever, I'm not gonna worry about it."
"Well I'm glad you enjoyed your weekend. How's Brooke doing?"
"She's been bubbly all weekend. I think the Classic was just what she needed to lift her spirits. It might change now that we're getting ready to come back. Unfortunately now, with the Classic over the next thing that's coming is Lucas' birthday and then what should have been their one-year anniversary. I just hope she gets through both in one piece."
"She will. It might be a tearful piece but it will be one piece just the same. As long as we stay positive and watch out for her everything should be okay. I won't say fine because that's stretching it too far. But I think Brooke will be okay."
"What about Haley and Nathan? And Karen? They're all gonna be a mess on Luke's birthday too. Oh gosh, and you. Mouth! He was your best friend, too."
"Rach, I know. It's okay. Don't worry about me. I'll be fine. I'm more concerned with how the girls and Nathan are gonna get through the day. It won't be easy for any of us but my focus is gonna be on them."
"Tell Mouth I said hey," Brooke said with a smile as she passed by Rachel with her bags.
"Brooke says hey, babe," Rachel said as she smiled but at Brooke.
"Tell her hey for me too," Mouth replied.
"I will hang on." Rachel put her hand over the receiver and took it away from her ear.
"Brooke! Mouth says hey back," she yelled.
"Okay," Brooke responded.
"I'm back," Rachel told Mouth.
"Cool. I hate to do this but I gotta run. I'm helping Keith at the shop right now and Skills just came in. Call me when you get to Tree Hill."
"I will. I love you."
"I love you too."
Rachel closed her phone and smiled as she climbed onto the bus. Brooke was already there and to Rachel's surprise she was talking to Peyton. I guess Blondie got over herself. It's about time Rachel thought to herself as she joined Bevin toward the back of the bus.
"Hey, friend. How's Mouth?" Bevin asked.
"Good. He's working right now but he's good. I can't wait to get home and see him," Rachel gushed happily.
"Yeah, you gotta tell him how much we kicked ass this weekend."
"Make sure you thank him for me again," Brooke said as she turned around to join in the conversation.
"I will," Rachel replied.
Brooke nodded as she turned back to Peyton. She was desperately trying to keep her mind off the fact that Lucas' birthday was coming and what would have been their one-year anniversary. She didn't want to spend all her time crying, she wanted to enjoy the fact that her squad finally reached the goal she had set by coming in first place.
"Luke I wish you could have been here to see this. God I miss you," Brooke whispered under her breath.
"Oh, Brookie, I know it's hard. But I also know that Luke would have been so proud of you," Peyton said as she wrapped an arm around Brooke's shoulders and squeezed.
"I know he would have been but it doesn't mean the same to me if I can't hear him say it. I should be getting off this bus and running into his waiting arms. But I can't do that. I can never do that again. I'll never hear him say again he's proud of me or anything at all. I'll never hear him say he loves me because Jimmy is a fucking bastard who just had to take Luke away from me."
"You're right, Jimmy is a bastard but you know that Luke wouldn't want you to be like this. He would want you to be happy and enjoy the fact that the Classic was amazing and that we got first place this year. Wouldn't he?"
"Yeah, he would. But it's not the same without him. Peyton you don't know how hard this is for me. I mean, Jake's not dead he just left town."
"I don't know what it's like to lose people I love? Brooke have you forgotten I've said good-bye to not one but two mothers? How many people do you know have had to deal with that? Oh right, only one. Me! Don't tell me I don't know what it's like because I do. Maybe I don't know what it's like to lose the love of your life but I do know what it's like to lose someone you love because I've been there."
Haley, who had been sitting toward the back of the bus with Bevin got up and moved to the front where Brooke and Peyton were fighting. She squeezed into the sit next to them and laid a hand on Brooke's shoulder.
"Look, this is hard for everyone. Peyton, you know that Brooke knows you've lost two mothers but I don't think it's fair to compare your loss to hers. That's not gonna make either one of you feel good. We're all dealing with a loss here," Haley said gently.
"You think I don't know that Haley? Give me a break. I'm trying here but every time I say something, you or Rachel come running over and try to undo it all and make me feel bad for trying," Peyton snapped.
"Will you two shut up! I know you wanna help me but there's nothing any of you can do to help. Luke is dead and he's never coming back. I don't know why you think you can make me forget that or why you're even trying. Peyton, stop screaming at Haley and Haley, stop making Peyton feel like shit for trying," Brooke yelled.
Rachel, who was talking to Teresa, jerked her head up when she heard Brooke yelling at Peyton and Haley. This wasn't how their weekend should be ending. She stood up and walked to their seat and crouched down in the aisle next to them.
"What the hell is going on over here?" she asked looking between Peyton and Haley before she glanced at Brooke.
"Nothing, we have it under control," Peyton said.
"Really? Then why is Brooke yelling at both of you?"
"Oh and she's never yelled at you for anything?"
"Not when it comes to Lucas. Do you two not understand why she hardly talks to either of you about any of this?"
Peyton and Haley both shook their heads. Brooke was silent but her face was tense. This wasn't gonna be pretty but she couldn't stop Rachel. This was her thing.
"Brooke doesn't talk to you because this is what happens. You fight or make each other feel like shit or even worse, you make Brooke cry because you rub it in her face or you try to make her feel bad for missing the one person in her life who was always there for her. Even when other people tried to take him away from her. Just stop," Rachel said before standing up and going back to her seat.
"What the hell was that?" Peyton asked.
"I have no idea," Haley said.
"That was Rachel. She was just trying to help. I know you both mean well but I can't take you clamping down on me at the slightest show of sadness in my voice or whatever. It's too much, it's too…Luke," Brooke said somberly.
"Brooke, I'm sorry I didn't mean" Peyton started
"Don't, Peyton. It's not gonna change anything. I know you didn't mean anything but that doesn't change the fact I feel this way."
Peyton looked at the floor. She felt terrible for making Brooke feel this way and for making her miss Lucas more. That had never been her intention and yet that was exactly what happened. She continued to stare at the floor until the bus pulled into the parking lot.
"Oh great, everyone's got someone waiting for them. Everyone except me," Brooke mumbled as she looked out the window to see Nathan, Mouth, Skills and Larry standing on the curb waiting for them.
"Brooke," Haley said softly.
"No, Haley. Don't do it, don't say that you're sorry there's nobody outside waiting for me. It's not gonna change anything."
"How can you say there's no one out there for you when everyone out there loves you?"
"No, they don't love me. Not like Luke did. That's the only love I want right now."
Peyton rolled her eyes, which of course, Brooke saw and that made her mad.
"What the hell was that for Peyton?" she snapped.
"Nothing," Peyton replied.
"Don't you lie to me. I swear to god Peyton, I don't know why you think you have to lie to me. I'm not an idiot. Why did you just roll your eyes?"
"You're being overdramatic don't you think? Hales is right. Nathan, Skills and Mouth all love you. Maybe it's not the same as Luke loving you but at least it's there."
"Overdramatic? I'm missing my boyfriend and you have the nerve to call me overdramatic? You have gotta be kidding me!"
"No, I'm not kidding. You're acting like just because Lucas is out there that no one out there cares about you. That's crap and you know it."
Brooke had had enough. She was stuck in the middle but she nudged Haley out of her way and stormed off the bus to get her stuff. She couldn't take it anymore. Peyton had really hit a nerve and now she wanted to go home and hide in her bedroom. It didn't matter if Peyton or Rachel or Haley or even Nathan tried to come in the house, it wasn't happening tonight. Brooke wanted to be alone and there was nothing any of them could about it.
Just as she was about to get in her car and drive off, Rachel and Mouth came over to talk to her.
"Hey, why you running off without saying good-bye?" Rachel asked sweetly.
"I'm sorry Rach. Peyton and Haley were just getting to me and I just wanna go home. I didn't mean anything by it. I promise," Brooke replied as she looked at her car and back at Rachel anxiously.
"All right, I get it. Don't mope too long. Remember, we kicked ass this weekend. Seriously, it's gonna fine. You'll see."
"I wish I believed it Rach but just thinking about the fact that everyone else had someone waiting specifically for them today except for me was like a slap in the face. I'll never have that again. And it hurts more than you could ever know. I'm sure of it. Because as long as you have Mouth you'll always have someone waiting for you and once the baby is born you'll have two someones waiting."
"If you wish you believed it, then change it and believe it because I have faith in your ability to get through this."
"Thanks Rachel but I dunno."
"She's right Brooke, you can do this. Just stay positive and remember that life didn't end for you it's just really different," Mouth said.
"But it did end Mouth. Everything I dreamt of is gone. Everything I dreamt of doing, everything I dreamt of having will never happen. It's all gone and taken away with one bullet in the chest of the man I love with my whole being. This is just too much. I wanna be able to show him the trophies from this weekend and tell him all about it. I want to hear him say he's proud of me for everything I accomplished this weekend but I don't get that. You can tell Rachel you're proud of her. Nathan can say it to Haley. Skills can say it to Bevin. But me…I don't get to hear that from the guy I love. My parents won't even say it because they don't give a damn about me. Karen and Keith will probably say it but only because they'll feel bad that Luke can't say it. I can't do this anymore. It's too much."
Mouth smiled sadly at Brooke as he pulled her into a hug. It was breaking his heart to see Brooke this way. He knew it was still really hard on her to have lost Lucas but up until that moment he thought she was doing better dealing with it. Clearly, as he held her in his arms, that was not the case. In fact, Mouth almost felt like she was doing worse than before the girls had left for the Classic two days ago.
Meanwhile, Haley and Nathan watched from their car as Brooke fell to pieces in the arms of a guy who wasn't Lucas. Haley could feel the tears welling up in her eyes as she continued to watch. She wanted so much for Brooke's pain to go away but nothing she could say would ever bring him back or take the hurt away. Nathan stood there wishing he could bring Jimmy back to life long enough to kill him again for causing Brooke so much heartache. Sure, he still missed Lucas all the time but dealing with it wasn't as hard for him as it was for Brooke. At least not anymore. Slowly, Nathan was getting through his days a little easier.
"Nathan, look at her. She's falling apart again. Maybe she should have skipped the Classic," Haley said as a tear slid down her cheek.
"Do you really think she would have missed it? Come on, Brooke lives for the Classic. It's the one weekend a year she can show off her talents as a cheerleader and wow a room full of people. She wouldn't miss that for the world. Maybe it wasn't the best thing for her to go but it would have been worse for her to miss it. She would have spent the entire weekend moping and saying she should have gone with you guys. So in theory, Brooke not going to the Classic would have been a great idea but in reality that never would have been an option. I guarantee if anyone had suggested it to her she would have flipped out and called them crazy. She needs to get back into a normal routine and for Brooke, going to the Classic every year is part of that normal routine. Luke would have wanted her to go too. I know it's hard watching her fall apart again but it's probably just because she saw that most of the girls had someone waiting here for them and the realization that Lucas could never do that for her again whacked her in the gut. I'm sure once she's all cried out tonight she'll be okay at least for a couple days," Nathan said as they got in the car and headed to their apartment.
"You really think she's gonna be okay that soon?"
"Of course I don't. I want to believe it though. I want to believe that my sister-in-law is that strong and normally she is but when it comes to Lucas and dealing with life without him, she's anything but strong. No matter how strong she pretends to be. Someday, whether she believes it or not right now, she's gonna meet a guy that makes her wanna fall in love and she will let go of Lucas and take off that ring. But I don't know when that'll happen."
"No, I don't think so. She's never gonna take that ring off. Her heart is Lucas' forever."
"Not her whole heart. I know you think I'm crazy but I believe that Brooke will realize that it's okay to let go and give her heart to someone else someday. She knows that Lucas doesn't want her to be stuck on her love for him forever. And while she'll always love him, I think she'll get married."
Haley shook her head. She couldn't believe what she was hearing. Nathan really thought that Brooke would just forget about her feelings for Lucas and marry someone else. She couldn't see that happening. Or maybe she didn't want to see that happening because if she did then that would mean Lucas was really and truly never coming back.
"No, she can't. If she does, that means Luke is really never coming back."
"Hales, he's already never coming back. Brooke's future with a guy or not doesn't hold any effect on that."
"I know but considering the possibility of Brooke taking off that engagement ring because she's in love with someone else is more than I can stand to think about right now."
"I'm sorry. I don't mean to upset you Hales. It's just that I don't want to see Brooke miserable without my brother for the rest of her life. But if she doesn't eventually realize it's okay to let go and move on, that's all she'll ever be. And Luke wouldn't want that for her. He would hate to see her living her life in complete misery.
Brooke pulled into her driveway and was surprised to see her parents' car there. She grumbled as she shut off the engine and got out to get her stuff from the trunk. Great the one time I want them to not be here, they are. What the hell is with that? Brooke thought to herself as she walked up to the front door.
"Hello," she called timidly as she shut the door behind her.
"Brooke, darling, where have you been?" Julie Davis asked as she came down the stairs.
"I was in Charlotte for a cheerleading competition. But I didn't know you'd care."
"Why wouldn't I care?"
"Because you've never cared before. You and Dad are never home. It's like I live on my own."
"Well I'm glad to hear you feel that way because as of next week none of us will be living in this house."
"Wha…what? Why not?"
"Your father got a promotion."
"So?"
"So, we're moving. And you're not staying here. I don't care what kind of fight you put up. It's not happening. You're 17 years old you don't get to tell your father and I where you live. We tell you and I'm telling you right now, you're not staying in Tree Hill."
"Actually, I'm almost 18 so I can just leave again after my birthday or get Karen to let me stay with her and Keith."
"You think I'm gonna let you stay in a house with your boyfriend? Do I look naïve to you?"
"Wow, you really don't pay attention, do you."
"What are you talking about?"
"Lucas is dead. He has been. For two goddamn months. I told you that when it happened. Why, I have no idea cause you obviously didn't listen."
"Brooke! Do not speak to your mother that way," James Davis snapped as he entered the living room.
"Well it's not my fault neither of you bother paying any attention to me. I'm just your daughter, no big deal. I thought you'd wanna know that I lived through the shooting at school but lost my boyfriend. Clearly, I didn't need to bother telling you because you don't seem to remember me telling you about it at all. I don't why I bother," Brooke yelled at her father before running up to her bedroom and slamming the door behind her.
As soon as the door was closed Brooke collapsed on her bed and burst into tears. She twisted the ring on her finger with her right hand until it was off her finger. Wearing it was too much right now. Maybe she'd wear it again but for now, she couldn't do it. It was too much. She grabbed her phone and called Peyton. She needed to talk to someone but Rachel was out of the question and she figured that Haley and Nathan were busy.
"Peyton," she sniffled when she heard her friend answer the phone.
"Brooke, what's wrong?" Peyton asked nervously.
"They came home. They both yelled at me. Apparently, we're moving."
"What? Are you kidding me? You can't move."
"I'm not going anywhere. They can't make me. They lost their right to act as my parents the minute they stopped acknowledging me. I'm gonna stay here. I don't care what they say."
"Stay with me. It'll be just like we used to talk about when we were kids. I know my dad would be fine with it. He's hardly ever around anyway so he'd probably love it that someone he knows and loves was staying with me when he's not here anyway."
"Peyton, no. If I stay here, I'm gonna get my own place. It'll be better that way."
"Please, Brooke."
"No, really, I need to be on my own."
"Okay. I guess so."
"Don't be like that. It's not that I don't wanna stay with you, I just think I need to be on my own. Get out there and do this thing on my own."
"Brooke, you're practically on your own already."
"Don't make this harder Peyt. Look I just thought you should know my parents are here so it's gonna be like walking on eggshells in this house for who knows how long."
Just then Brooke heard the front door close and then the car start up.
"Never mind, they're gone again. They must have only been here for the weekend."
"Oh okay. Well find out more about this whole moving thing and keep me posted."
"Of course. Talk to you later."
"Love you."
"Love you too."
Brooke closed her phone and made her way back downstairs. She was hoping that maybe her parents had left her a note or something so she'd at least have some idea of where they had gone this time. Much to her surprise when she walked into the kitchen there was a note on the counter, along with some cash. She couldn't help but smile as she shook her head. Leave it to James to think he could buy her off when they made her mad.
Brooke-Going to Europe. Be back next week. Use the money to get some food and other necessities.
-Mom and Dad
Brooke couldn't help but laugh. Did they really think that she didn't have enough money on her own to make sure she had food and other essentials? She might be a shopaholic but she was no fool. It didn't seem right to her that her parents had maids and cooks but she was the only in the house on a regular basis so she relieved them of their duties and took care of the cooking and cleaning and shopping on her own. It wasn't that hard and she rather enjoyed having to be responsible in this way.
She glanced up at the calendar on the wall next to the fridge, her heart caught in her throat as she saw the words "Luke's birthday" written in pink with a heart around it and then three days later "Broody and Cheery one year". Tears slid down her cheek as she kissed her finger tips and laid them on the calendar. The next week was gonna be a tough one for Brooke. She took a bottle of water out of the fridge before going back to her room.
