This overlaps with Monster 4.1 and 4.2.
It also incorporates Zalgotext. I don't yet know if that displays correctly on this site.
Chapter 8: It's in my BRAIN
Seriously fuck my life. fffffffffff
Okay so we're making our way to PRT Headquarters -ffff do they suspect Pride as being the girl who dropped in on Sophia? Shit. Oh! The sheet keeps trying to come away! I point it out to Taylor, we stop for a moment, and I start to ask if this is a good enough reason to cancel but Taylor gets angry -not imma murder you angry, just back the fuck off angry- so I drop it before I've even really started.
Dammit. Of course not.
So there goes that out. Fine. Play along. "We can work with this." Not remotely the circumstances I'd hoped to put knot-tying skill to use, but okay. I conveniently know some damn good knots -and thankfully Taylor seems too thrilled at that to wonder why I'm a knot master- so... I do that. Tying them around a bladed... whatever is up with these legs... is a new challenge, but eventually I work out a trick to use the blades as an anchor point... ugh. Here's hoping it doesn't cut through at speed as we go. The blades look sharpest and shiniest where they converge at the tip into an arrowhead, so I'm not too worried because further back they're more rounded and glint less and that's where I'm tying the knot off -heh- but I still have a vivid image of going splat because Taylor is rocketing along at over a hundred miles per hour and a knot comes apart and I go flying. The injustice of it is that she regenerates, so she'd probably be fine.
The thing I resent the most is how I can't even really enjoy the run. I mean, Taylor isn't leaping from rooftop to rooftop or anything anyway, but just streaking along ground level, the world a blur and the occasional early riser startling as a girl mounted on an oversized and spidery Casper ghost skirts around them -not even getting into the reactions from people in cars, heh- should be enjoyable, but. You know. Going to get mindfucked by the Simurgh.
yay
I pull my blindfold on when Taylor starts getting excited and also I can tell we're like a block away from the PRT headquarters. I feel like I should be getting in character, but Pride is just... a name. It's not an identity or anything. So. I just kind of 'listen in' -oh jeez Oni Lee is coming this way. Oni. Fucking. Lee. Ooooh shit I hope he doesn't recognize me. Wait, does that mean he's volunteering for an Endbringer defense? Dude. Duuuuude. I... you cut up a child -my brother- actually you know what let's drop the line of thought that gives me chest pains and focus on the fact that WE'RE GOING TO THE GODDAMN SIMURGH.
...
Yes, that is still a mood improvement. Why you so craycray, Cherie?
uuuugh
Finally it's time for intake. I... was not expecting an intake process. Goddamn, we're messing about with governmental bureaucratic bullshit in the middle of responding to Angel Godzilla wrecking a... well, I was going to say a 'major city', but I know fuckall about Australia. Whatevs. PRT why you do this. Fine! Whatevers! I'm... honestly more bothered by how Taylor takes this completely in stride. Aren't you trying to be a hero, girl? Shouldn't you be bothered by the inefficiencies of a vast bureaucratic machine vis-a-vis negatively impacting your ability to 'do good'? Rage against the machine! Rage against the machine!
...
sigh
I have to explain to the trooper that Monster isn't, like, a projection or anything, and her current appearance has to do with her power. The trooper takes that in stride. Kinda. There's some skeptical judgy thing going on there but I'm not sure about or all that interested in the line of reasoning they have. Whatevs, troopa. Then the dude comments that it would be appreciated -special emphasis and everything- if I didn't participate in the event of having major psychological issues the Simurgh might exploit.
...
I glance at Taylor (Her response to me doing that blindfolded is so fun), but she's still all determined and there's suspicion and anger at the idea I might be questioning this idea.
fuck
I smile brightly at the trooper. "We're all good here, thanks." Nah, I'm a nervous wreck following around a murderous psychopath for the Greater Good because I'd have a nervous breakdown otherwise. Plenty of baggage here! I'm so fucked. So, so very fucked. But I think Taylor would remove me from her life if I didn't do this. And I don't just mean haha she might kill me this is not a joke why are you laughing, I mean she'd probably cut ties even if she didn't try to kill me. No more caping together for us! No more anchor for me. And I'm imagining staring into the gibbering void of personal oversight, in which I must decide what I want and figure out why I want it, and no. gg no re, SAN loss, game over, return of Cthulhu.
The mindfuck Endbringer is less SAN loss. Probably. I hope.
ffff
Then the trooper pulls some techno-collar whatsit out of a box -a cardboard box- sitting next to him and holds it out to me. Then he looks at Taylor, and there's doubt, and he looks at me, and I nod ever so slightly and hey I don't even need to massage his emotions to get him to get out a second collar.
I regret this the instant he starts explaining they're collars for 'sploding our heads if we spend too long in the Simurgh's radius. Fuckin' what.
... is this why the Simurgh has the lowest turnout of paradummies to fight off its attacks? I mean, wow. Thanks. I look at Taylor -hahaha her response is so funny- but yeah she's still super-de-duper determined to keep on with this literally suicidal plan. I... okay, I think I'm getting an idea of how she psyched herself up to go charging into Nilbog's territory. And Daddy. Does she not have a survival instinct? Does she not recognize the existential horror inherent to the Simurgh making you into something you're not without you even realizing it? Rhetorical questions, bitch! Obviously the answer is a big fat NO!
...
I have either signed up for the worst idea in human history or the greatest ride imaginable.
Blah blah blah we wait for a bit. There are other people hanging about and I give no fucks. Taylor seems surprised briefly, no idea why, no care. One dude looks at us and is all contemptuous and he snorts oh you did not. Poke poke poke come on dude. Glance at us. Lust! Just a little. Glance again. Lust! Haha. Yeah, reconcile that to your casual dismissal of the greatest parahuman who ever lived! Also her bladed Casper. Hahaha he's trying to cope and failing. Yes dude, you are hot for some teens. Deal with it.
Uuuuh. There's a line burning itself into the grass... "Okay right quick are we waiting on anybody before we go because I am in high demand let me tell you lads." Hey- "And lass." Better. I like this lady. Could I get away with?... eeeh, probably not. Darnit. A teleporter would be convenient.
People respond. One of the dudes is all, "Man, I don't know nuthin'." The wolfmask dude -waaaait is that Hookwolf?- who I've been messing with shrugs. Phasing biker dude shrugs. I shrug, 'cause apparently that's the hip thing to do if you're a cape in Brockton Bay. (oh god we're going to the Simurgh)
Teleporter lady shrugs, claps her hands, and starts circling us, drawing a line, same as the one that inscribed itself before she arrived. Hmmm. I wonder what her limits are?... "Hold still lads and lass and whatever the ghost with bug eyes qualifies as, ya don't want to have anything outside the circle. Trust me. Also, don't be alarmed by anything you see in transit, it's na' anything to worry yerself over."
Don't wha-
JESUS CHRIST WHAT THE FUCK. They don't just look like demons, they're- I can sense them! Amusement and hunger and I just. Fuck. I do not need this before going into the Simurgh's zone. Why are we apparently teleporting through Hell? And of fucking course Taylor is peachy keen. No survival instinct whatsoever. Girl's a loon! And I'm the worse loon because I've made her my boss!
The teleporter lady who did this to us makes sympathetic noises at the screamy phasey loser. "Always hits the crybabies hardest." Haha! I would like you if you weren't dragging us through Hell. Mental note: nope nope nope, no way, no how, no toy.
There's a pop in my ears as things are abruptly -I have to blink against the change in lighting- replaced by grass and shit. Ugh. Teleporting fucking sucks. I was so distracted by the goddamn demons I wasn't thinking much about it, but I... this is disorienting. When we teleported out of Brockton Bay, I went from having a somewhat dense city of people, animals flying, climbing, and burrowing about in basically a hemisphere with stuff above ground level (Except for that one underground prison thing) and... okay, the ocean has fish and stuff, but most of them don't really register so whatever. Anyway, in Hell, the whole sphere of my range was filled to the gills with terribleness. Overload! And now we're in Canberra and it's like Brockton Bay but with more panic and fewer people. (Evacuation? Smaller city? Ugh) More animals, though.
Welcome to Australia, I guess.
Do I sense the Simurgh? I mean, I'm not sensing anything that stands out particularly, but I'm not sure I'd sense that she's bigger than people. Okay, she'd be in the air -oh. There's a bunch of fliers looping around and being all aggressive at... fucking nothing.
...
Damn. In my heart of hearts, the innermost optimist residing deep inside me, I'd hoped she'd be susceptible to my power and this would be the start of Cherie Vasil: God-Empress Of All Mankind, By Way Of Mind Controlling The Goddamn Simurgh. She'd be my little Zizster! Big Zizster. Oh never mind, it's a dumb pun. The Simom is where it's at!
Alas, the world is a dark and terrible place in which No Fun Is Allowed so the bird-lady isn't even visible to my radar. No song-
D͉̬̗̥̰͋͂̓̑̋ï̗̳̘͕̪̮̠̎̓̀͂ͫr̆̌͌̈́҉̗̣̬̩͉͔g̮̮͉̻͓̰͖ͮ̄͜e̡
-what was that.
No seriously, what was that. Don't you fucking fuck with me! I'm Cherie Vasil! I do the songs in people's heads! Fuck you imma sue!
don't hyperventilate girl we'll only be here like fifteen minutes and everything will be fine everything is fine look at how Monster is all serene and calm and happy and goddammit fuck her stop being so calm
D̲͖̗̰͙̤̎͆̔͐rͣ̇̋̄ͨ̿ͮ͏̞͔̮̯͖̫o̜̖̩̯͈ͅw̹̟͓̍̊̽̂̏n̞̩͓̙̩̫͠
No no no no no no no no no
Oh hey Taylor is all impressed with me! And... concerned? Uhhhhhh. Um. Oh! Maybe she thinks I feel sympathetic stress when around other people? Well... "Not much, Boss. Reading emotions isn't feeling them, and, well, I don't care." Hah! She's impresse-
N̊͗̐͒̆͏i̶͎ͧ̅ͭͮ͗̽̆ḥ̴ͨ̂̈́͗ị͓̺̼̲̆ͩͥ̍̍̊̎͠l̰̝̼̤̭̜͖ͪ̈ͭ̋̓̓̚
-d with godfuckingdammit get out of my brain.
Okay calm. Be calm. Boss likes it when I'm calm when she thinks I shouldn't be. Calm Cherie, fucking calm. Nothing but Zen.
Ṷ͚͍͔̯̲̞͑̈̍̊̍͡b̘̮̙͍̘̹ͬ͌ͣ̀̊e̵̻͔͇̬̯͖͕̓̿͊̈́͒r̞̮̞̣͕ͯ
arghblarghle
No wait Taylor is moving from impressed to... depress- oh fuck you! "Oh goddammit stop that depressive bullshit I'm trying to concentrate here, it's not actually easy picking out people who are wounded or dying or whatever instead of just panicking or giving up because they're defeatist or whatever." Seriously, the one good thing from this trip is Taylor being chirpy, and she's getting all -oh god is it the Simurgh warping her please no. No. No.
Y̛̞̝̙̙̦ͪͤ̊͑̊̀ͅe̻̲̻͇̪̙ͧͮ͒̌̀̚ş̺̱͈̤̰̗̔ͥ͑̑ͮ̇̂
LALALALA NOT LIIIIISTENING.
Okay, no, focus, people who are probably injured. Gotta impress the Boss, gotta Get Shit Done, gotta get out of here- there! That dude is bleeding out or otherwise losing consciousness! "That cluster of trees."
(It's not a dude, it's a P̲͔̫̲ȧ̇̂͛ͫͧ̈҉̲͉i̖̫̖̠ͨ̂͂͑̆n̯̭̟̺̮̣̠ͣ̄ͭͦ̅ no no shut up it's actually a girl but whatever)
We get that girl loaded readily enough, and I briefly check if Taylor wants to search for more or go drop them off where I can tell rapid transit capes are coming and going and she gets all excited at the former so that's what we do. We collect a dude with awesome looking P̣̯͈͈͍̋̂ŗ̹͉͉͇͚̼͇͗̂i̡̇ͮ̾̆͐̾mͯ͋͒̾i̅̋ͮt̝̺̄ͫ͌i̫̻̜͖͔̫͡v̥̗̰̋̔͒ͭ̌ͮ͢e̥̓̽ guns who I'm betting is a tinker and I seriously consider taking one of them but when my hand moves in that general direction there's all kinds of meanness from Monster so that's a no-go. Pout. Ignore how Monster is distinctly Unimpressed. Whatevs.
We Fͭ̍̍̽̀̐̊҉ut̜̤͆ͬ̈̓i̗̠̭̣̣͚̱͊͗͡l̛̜͈̭̼̜̥͕e̔ͣͪ̉ load up two more folks, a little girl who even I feel the tiniest twinge of protective bullshit -seriously, why is she here- in the most I'm A Ballerina Princess costume ever plus some other dude who... well. Looks like a hobo. I'm not sure if it's a cape with a shitty costume or a Gen-U-Ine Australian Hobo. He's Gen-U-Ine-Ly gross though, staining the sheet with brown crap. I mean. It's not very noticeable given how blood is soaking into the thing...
D̠̫́ͬͪ̆͆r̥͓ͥ̃̓ͭͮę͓̃̈́á͖͕̙͎͎d̹̹͎͎͉͂ͫ̍ With that many people aboard and making me feel all gross and squished up and also one of them keeps banging into my shoulder, we zip off to drop them off at the Teleporter Hodown. Don't even have to ask Taylor. R̪̱̼͚̞̦̬͂ͬe̒ͨ̅̔ͪ̍j͓̘͛ͫ͂͠ȩcͩ̅̀̈̈́ͩt͉̲͖̺̤͑ͭ̾̇̐̆͑̀ Awesome.
Ǵ͔̩͍̭̹̏ͦͅu̺̰̗ͥ̾i͙̖̠͇͎ͧ̈ͭ͢ͅl͙͚t͓
Putting a knife to Little Jean's throat. Laughing it off as a game.
Then we grab another few folks. I... find it hard to care. I just
I̵̤̗͚̩̳̝͂̋̊ͬ͆ͧ̚ͅsͯ͐̊҉o̺̥͖̟̟̔̂̿̑l̍̌̊̇̆ͤ̊a̢ͤ̓t̢͎i͇͕̰̗̚͝o͙͓̲̼̳̒ͧͨ̇̏n̸̟͓̣̬͖̬
Being put in The Box. Buried. Told you're W̘̣̫͚͓ͩo̰͉̳ͣ̅͆͆̊̓͑͠r̩͍̓̍ͪ͌̂t̫̂̊̿͞ḫ̰̪̙̔̿͌̈́́ͫ̕l̮̺̖̟̊̿e̗͐̑̍̈́̇̄̚͟s̡̞͇̟͔͒ͩ͊s͔͛ͣ̑͗̎͑̊. Cold and dark and can't breathe and there's a worm on your face and-
can't motivate myself. Tired. Headaches. Everything feels off.
Hugging Taylor, warmth, comfort, acceptance. N̢ẹ̲͔̀ͯ̊v̘͚̟͗̿̀ͤ̾ͪͩe̪̩͚̜͗̏ͯ͋͑͟rͥ҉̰͇͈̦̣
Time feels weird. The collars beep every minute, but sometimes it feels like they beeped just a second ago and sometimes it feels like
Go out and Collect. Impress Daddy. So he won't put you in the Box again.
U̘̜̤̩̖̗̱͟s̻̥̹̿ͅè̬̲̞̭̟l̑͆͌̀ͬ̓̾e͖̙̠͇̟̋ͣ͑͋̊̉s͍̥̮̬͙s͋ͬ͋ͫ̅̈́ͨ
it's been half an hour since the last one and I can't pin it down.
We get... a lotta people. I guess. Our collars beep and announce that there's five minutes left. I'm just sort of relieved. At least Taylor didn't try to attack the Simurgh. I don't know what to make of what Taylor is feeling. Dunno. Don't care. Just glad to be done.
No. Wait. She's... alarmed? Concerned T̮̮͎̏ͥͯ̚̚r̥̣̖͎̹̗͒͂̓̅ȁ̹͚̉͝ͅp̙̓͐̊ͬͤ̂ for me? Oh. Uh. "Fine, just fine, we just got up early is all." We did. Kinda. Maybe. When was that again?
Playing tag in the woods with Jean-Paul.
B̶̫͇̭͓͉̊͒ͧ̊ͫ̒e̾ͫ͋t͚̙̣̺̑̑̑ͣ͡rͮͫ̎a̰̺̗̬̙͎̕y͎̖͓̗̣̰͂ͅe̱͓͉͚͍̱̾r̶͎̼̯͚̲
Taylor's still alarmed. Okay. She goes... to the place. We wait, and she's dancing back and forth, concerned. Scared. For me? I dunno. Tired.
We sink into the L҉͙̤̲̲ͅa͑͌̏ͮt̸͍̼̊ę̬̘r͙̯̪ dirt via a silly teleporting cape.
I jerk awake some when Taylor tries to approach a wall in... wherever we are. Baseball stadium? Blurgh. Whatever. She wanted... safety? Security? Oh. She wants her back to a wall. Very paranoid of her. I mutter into the blood-and-gore-streaked sheet, "I can track threats just fine." She doesn't seem reassured. Bleh. I direct her until we're standing among a cluster of people who have been calm and... yeah. Not psychopathic murders. Like Taylor.
Ugh. I was... dreaming about Jean-Paul?...
Taylor gets all antsy as the whiny crybaby normies start being whiny crybabies. Simurgh been around so long they're... isolating the place or something, so the normies are wailing. Families or something. Hehehehehe Taylor's frustration is delicious. Wait that's wrong. Why do I taste?... tastes like sherbert. What?
Meh.
"Miss Moriarty, postcog detective extraordinaire." Uh? Oh. Yeah, some... lady who's been wanderin' about. She dumps an avalanche of stupid bullshit (ie her power) on us and Boss keeps pushing me to, like, ask questions or whatever. So I do and don't let on that I don't give a fuck. Ugh. Feel hungover. Like I did all the drugs and then chugged a keg and then got a concussion. Maybe not in that order.
... wait, don't the goddamn suicide collars prove we're- oh god I don't care stop infodumping on me girl. Why. Why. Stop talking. Please. Okay fine you could've stopped at 'easier to fool than my power', god! I get it! Just... do the touching.
She does the touching. For some reason Taylor gets all wiggy and embarrassed and -ohohohoho. Ooooh my. I need to keep that reaction in mind. Tuck it away in my heart and/or brain. She's all squooshy about the cuddling! Hahahaha why is Moriarty staring at me. Oh come on lady, you've gotta have seen way weirder and/or creepier shit in your time, stop being all skin-crawlingly creeped-out and suchlike. And hey! Why are you judging me and not her? Bullshit! That's, uh, species-ist? Whatever, that's bullshit is what it is!
Boss says no to the touching. Embarrassed? No, wait, there's a stab of... something else. Some other concern. Blurgh. If I didn't have this headache... I dunno why she's saying no. Mori-whatever says I can go. Nu-uh. No way. "Not leaving the Boss." Also not risking being MIBed into secret PRT villain-hating facilities of awfulness. I'm staying right here where I'm safe with my murderous psychopath of a boss. Hahahaha Taylor is being all offended by Mori-blah looking at her like... like... fuck, I can't tell. Headache. Not right.
... wait shit the Boss is murderously angry and just took a step toward the Holmes Whore. (Costume doesn't even look good on the girl, ugh) "Calm, boss, calm. Whatever she thinks of us is nothing to get hot over." Also, pat her, uh. On the... where... let's go with behind the eyes? I guess? Touchy girl is stupidly oblivious and I finally just jolt her with some anxiety, hoping she'll like... remember an appointment or something. Before she gets Boss in trouble by being deaded at her bladed... legs?... anyway, off she goes. And then the Boss twists her head to look at me and I think she's trying to hate me to death but really she's relieved the girl is gone so haha. Grin, shrug. It worked, right? Right.
Then things subside. I consider letting Taylor know it might be smart to move elsewhere 'cause the groups are shifting and some less stable people are now hanging about us and then decide I don't really care and she shouldn't either so I don't. Some people get taken outside and executed, quiet-like. Simurgh bombs, probably. I mean, I guess they could be political dissidents the Australian government is killing for its own convenience, but whatevs. Not my problem.
Time passes in a haze. I think I fall asleep sometimes, but I'm not sure. Taylor doesn't react, but maybe she doesn't care. Maybe she doesn't notice. So I dunno.
Eventually some smug James Bond wannabe jackass shows up. Asks me to come with him so he can do a psychotic analysis on me. No thanks, I'm good, Missus Holmes already saw my innermost secrets of hugging a squid. This verifies me as Adequately Sane (hahahahahaha) and so James Bond can and should fuck off. "Jus' the Boss needs to be cleared." That. That's all.
James Bond is very British-ly all 'one moment' and 'I see' while adjusting his stupid glasses-over-a-goddamn-domino-mask dealy. Poseur. Loser. Stop tempting me to poke your brain until you giggle. I do not need the temptation right now. Then he gestures for Taylor to come with, and I'm all 'nu-uh you can't leave me behind' and he's all 'uh-huh, I can too leave you behind' but eventually Taylor just rolls me offa her and goes with.
I pout at her where she can't see me. Lame.
Then I rub at my aching forehead. Ugh, now I'm in cool, slightly wet grass. Instead of on a warm, blood-slick sheet. This shouldn't be disappointing, but it is anyway. I want my goddamn blood-soaked sheet and the not-actually-that-warm body inside of it, dammit.
I try to 'listen in' to Taylor's whatever, but I'm all discombobulated and drifting and she's basically calm so I can't stay all alert and worried or anything. There's... an odd moment, a shift in her everything, feels less jagged and lemony and goddammit emotions don't taste stop that. I'm not sure what to make of the change, and it lingers, which... feels kinda nice, actually. James Bond wannabe isn't as calm as he's acting, but he's not worried in a way that has me thinking he'll have Taylor quietly taken out back and shot. Well. I think they've been having capes do the actual executions, quiet capes, but whatever. Keeps... aggravating Taylor? Startling her? Anyway, James Bond keeps making her kinda mad. Just a little. There's... a moment where Taylor gets all sad and upset and I'm wondering if I should get involved but then it passes and I dunno. Tired.
I still edge closer regardless.
Thankfully, Taylor, when she comes back out -wearing the sheet more like a robe now, human- seems to take my changed position in stride, no suspicion or whatever. Wave and smile, Cherie, welcome her back. I clap one arm onto her shoulders, all friendly-like... and lean. Oh god I feel sick. I dunno what to make of Taylor's response. She didn't like me doing it, but then she gets all sad and stuff and I don't know what the fuck but she actually moves to help support me without being too obvious about it so I guess it's all good?
We make our way outside, and oh thank god. They removed the goddamn fucking asshole stupid suicide collars of utter bullshit. Safe. I'm safe. Christ, I didn't realize how tense I was. Thank you, anonymous PRT trooper. I will remember your signature forever and if I ever see you again you will get a night with a lucky lass and/or lad, on me. Once we're outside, I take a breath of air not reeking of human sweat and other unpleasantness, and comment, "Well, that should've sucked, and somehow it didn't." Taylor goes broody on me, no goddamn clue why, fffff. Scowl! Imma scowl at you, girl. "We did the stupid thing and we're not dead. Live a little, come on." Nope, she goes straight to brooding. So broody. Broody Mcbroodington -shit! Okay that bit of murderous hatred was brief-lived.
... still thinking I shouldn't poke at her for a bit.
...
ohmygod stop brooding. Cherie interrupt! "I really do need more sleep, you know. I wasn't exaggerating when I said we got up early, and then we did this whole thing and I just feel... ugh. Need a nap. Not like we're going back to BB until they're done with the big bird." No lie, I'm... ugh. Headache. Tired. Brain feels off. Tasting emotions and bullshit like that.
"Pride?" Taylor asks. Uh. Monster asks. I should probably... not... blurt her civilian name out while we're here.
"Yeah, Boss?" Keep it simple. Especially because I have no idea why she's suddenly all curious and whatever.
"Were you able to sense the Simurgh's emotions at all? Or an, um, emotional signature from it?" Oh. That.
"Nope." I wish. I'd be soooo outta here, getting my own country... she swears under her breath. Oh. Actually, in retrospect, there was kinda a pattern... "I think I might've been able to tell who the song was hitting, though, and how hard." Maybe. Not sure. Didn't pay a ton of attention to it, it was in the background, but like I could feel people aligning, overall, some faster than others. I think capes were more variable, though. Not entirely sure.
She looks at me all skeptical, feeling skeptical-yet-hopeful. Uh. Why? "Really."
I answer with, "Really." Seriously, I'm pretty sure. Mostly sure. But why does she feel hope? Oh, whatever. I need a nap. "Seriously Boss, I need rest. Can we just find a comfy corner and let me just... close my eyes for a few minutes?" I can immediately tell she's okay with that, if a bit grudging. Awesome. So we go over near a wall, and I lay against her. I cover my eyes against the city lights -it might be night but it's not dark- and comment, "I did not sign up for this shit." Fuckin' Simurgh.
"Yes you did," is Taylor's petty response and I just ignore that. I signed up for murdering people for awesomeness. I did not sign up for search and rescue in Endbringer attacks.
Christ.
I drift off for a bit. Then I'm woken up by Taylor getting all twitchy and paranoidly focused on... probably the batch of dudes who are all curious and shit and have been since we got here and I keep having to slap them with fear because they keep working up to talk to us. No thanks bro, I'm sleeping here. "No, they're not fucking planning on slitting our throats. Stop that. Save the paranoia for the hunt. They're just curious why we have such shitty costumes." I think. "Also a couple of them are worried you're seriously hurt and haven't said anything because I keep making them afraid to actually approach us." Taylor doesn't like that. Whatevs, distraction time! "Also one of the guys thinks you're cute, though I'm not sure what he's seeing with all that blood-soaked sheet you're bundled in that makes him think that."
I miiiight be making that up. Especially since I'm not 100% sure it's a dude. Or they might be hot for me. But that's all irrelevant because the real point is that now Taylor is getting all flustered and awkward! She's capable of these kinds of feelings! Hahaha! "So you are interested in boys. I'd wondered, with the 'best girl friend' and all..." That gets an ugly response, which then spirals off into... more brooding. Ugh. Okay, I really need to stop bringing up this Emma girl. Taylor goes all 'my parents are deeeeead' and 'I'm Batman, even though I don't know who that is' when I bring her up and the brooding is just tiresome.
Oh, okay, she's... focusing on something else now. Something with a tiny thread of hope and the focus of someone trying to solve a difficult puzzle. I'm just going to leave that alone and not provoke more brooding.
Probably fall asleep while I'm at it.
"Ta-daaaaa!" Wha-
Taylor pulls me to my feet. "We just need to walk through the portal, right?"
Wha? Oh! Jeeze. Okay, situation check: people are relieved and cheerful and so on. Actually, I can hear people cheering. Oooh, is the Simurgh gone? I guess it's gone. Awesome.
"Yeah absolutely it's simple as cheese you just walk through and there you are, I've tossed balls, driven cars, redirected an avalanche this one time at band camp, it's awesome, oh but please don't stop halfway through I don't wanna risk the portal turning off while you're half here half there so come on are ya'll ready to go I sure hope you are 'cause I am!"
Oh god. That's not even the entire blah, that's just the point at which I tune things out because Taylor is all outraged and horrified. When it becomes obvious the girl isn't going to stop talking, Taylor interrupts. "What was that about turning the portal off with someone halfway through?"
Squirrel-on-crack-girl clams up. Then sheepishly admits to her portal slicing people in half. Oh. Goody. Can we have the hell dimension girl instead, please?
Taylor is super-frustrated and all. Girl's really testing her patience. "I'm testing the portal first." Awwww, that's so sweet of you Tay-Tay. Hmmm. Should I call her that? Eeeeh I'll try out other nicknames first, see how she reacts.
Crack-girl is all mildly depressed and anxious. "Well, don't take too long, you're not the only people waiting for me."
Taylor totes ignores her, marches up to the portal, dragging me along? Uh okay. Sticks her arm through, then whispers to me, "Hit her with something to startle her." Oh! I can totally do that! Crank up crack-girl's anxiousness and insert a stab of panic -well. Taylor seems reasonably satisfied
why is she sticking her head through the portal
taylor
taylor
this has gone past sweet into reckless stoppit
Then her head comes back after spending way too long hanging halfway through. "It's safe. Probably." Yeah. Fucking duh. Jeez Louise Taylor.
I follow her through, staggering a little. Still not entirely awake. Ooooh ice cream headache. Yes, I am missing hell dimension girl, the transition was actually less disorienting with her, less headache-y. Taylor is looking around, being all paranoid ohmygod Taylor. I whisper at her, "Nobody cares, other than yokels who are just being nosy for nosiness' sake. Let's get going, come on." Fuck, that come out more aggressive than I'd intended. Do not feel good. Headache is... scaling back a bit... but I still don't feel good. Also? Fuckin' Oni Lee is talking to wolfmask jackass, let me out, let me out now.
From there it's making our way to the hotel, ditching the blood-soaked sheet on the way because haha no way am I trying to sneak that past the employees... I mean, it'd be funny to have that one guy who saw me with the handprints on my cheeks and mess with him some more, heck he's even in the lobby right now, but that is just asking for trouble.
Taylor escorts me to my room and wanders off, bemused, after I've flopped onto the bed.
Knife held to Taylor's throat.
Bladed tentacle held to my throat.
Blood spray.
I wake up to the realization that I stupidly didn't think about the blood staining the inside of my thighs, among other places. And Taylor didn't fucking notice it when she abandoned me. Goddammit Taylor.
Plus side: it's trivial to go to that one guy (still in the lobby) and claim I'm 'so sorry' and I'm surprised by how heavy my period is and wave off the problems. I make sure to pick out and flush some of the actual chunks of meat and wash my hands thoroughly before I do that -ew ew ew- but the guy is fairly understanding. (Thanks to Cherie Intervention) So that could've gone worse, and didn't. The hotel is just going to write me off as That Ditz With A Horrifying Period. Ha ha, jokes on you, I barely have a period (Not that I'm having it right now) because I don't have enough fat on me ie I'm underfed oh god.
I should eat. I'm not hungry, but I should eat anyway.
I do that, once staff have bundled off my sheets and set up new ones. I don't need them jacking my shit because Brockton Goddamn Bay. (Also I hold off on changing into something not-bloodstained until they're done. Ditz With Horrifying Period! Pay no attention to the girl behind the curtain!)
Food tastes good once I'm actually eating it. No appetite, but I'm enjoying food anyway. I dunno. Whatever. Howzabout that city? People are... overall a bit more depressed than they were before the Simurgh attack was announced. There's exceptions, probably people who view it as some kinda victory for humanity or whatever, but the overall tone is a bit grim. I think there's less, like, crime and bullying and general victimization shit going down overall, which is sort of funny. I guess even the jackasses are too mopey to go fucking with people.
Maybe I should stop being so harsh on Taylor's mopeyness. She's agitated and aggravated -not sure what she's doing right now, not at school or her home, don't have a reference point for this spot, it's not like it's the dog kennel- but she's actually a lot less defeatist than the majority of the city, right now. She's hankering for action, I think, not just being all 'oh woe is I we live in a world where unfair superparahuman doom machines are slowly grinding the Earth to dust under their heels for their own inscrutable purposes waaaah' etc etc.
Right. This is why I put up with her angst. She's Captain Action Angst, instead of Let Me Lay In Bed And Give Up Angst.
... also she sometimes can tell when I try to grind it off and desires to kill me for the crime of being fuckin' nice to her. That doesn't hurt.
I skip out on paying for this particular meal. -1/5 stars, the food is good but the Nazis sitting in the corner with swastikas on their coats were clearly getting preferential treatment and yeah no. Why do you have a Nazi problem, Brockton Bay? What is wrong with you?
I'm still tired and... blurgh. I kinda wanted to go drop in on Taylor and poke her for ADVENTURES! But nah no way. Not happening right now. I just make my way to the hotel, reveling in the fact that the city being depressed means people aren't trying to prey upon a defenseless pretty girl. (ha!) It's funny to mess with these dummies occasionally, but wow does it get tedious at the rate it happens in Brockton Bay.
This time a girl is handling the lobby. I don't remember this girl. New hire? Okay, do I recognize her signature from anywhere important, like the PRT? She could be a PRT trooper undercover... speaking of, I wonder if Taylor realizes how many PRT troopers live in her neighborhood and are creepsters that have way too much interest in her home. Pedophiles? They haven't gone after Danny-dude and I'm pretty sure they're not stealing things going by the lack of reaction from Taylor and Danny over time, but man do they keep walking by all casual-like or just sitting in their... probably a living room or something... intensely focused. For hours. Hell, Armsmaster apparently lives in her neighborhood! Occasionally. I don't think he spends much time pretending to be a normie. It's so depressing that she won't want to hear about that, though. It'd be sooo funny to mess with him. Like, show up on his doorstep asking for a cup of sugar and then say a whole bunch of mean shit about Armsmaster being the lamest hero that ever did lame like we have no goddamn clue he's Armsmaster.
...
Maybe I should do that anyway, on my own time.
Anyway, no, the lobby girl I don't recognize isn't anybody I've mentally marked as notable in any way. Just a new hire.
Sleep.
Oni Lee leaning over a corpse. The corpse is wearing Jean-Paul's idiot costume.
Oni Lee shifts, and it's my face on his mask.
I wake up with the dim sense I had shitty dreams. Really shitty dreams.
Can't remember them, though.
Whatevs. Dreams are bullshit anyway. Just annoying I'm not sleeping well.
... oh. Taylor is coming this way. And is... angry? Paranoid, too. Sweet, are we going to do something fun now? As opposed to the stupid Simurgh misery thing?
I take a few minutes to do bathroom stuff and fix up some of the worst of my makeup while waiting for her, and start swearing under my breath when I notice she's getting angrier and more paranoid the closer she gets. She's angry at me. What the fuck, why? I did her stupid goddamn thing like she wanted me to even though it was a terrible idea, and she wasn't mad at me during it, so what's her deal now?
I meet her at the door. "Why are you mad at me?" Ugh, I am not awake enough for this bullshit.
Taylor is all business, tightly restrained anger. She doesn't answer me until I've closed the door behind her. "You kept people from freaking out at the stadium, didn't you?"
"What?" is my extremely well-considered and thoroughly intelligent refutation of her FUCKIN' WHAT.
She makes squinty angry eyes at me. "When I was the monster, wearing the bloodstained sheet, and then as T- not the monster-" What was that correction about? We're in private! "-still in a bloodstained sheet. Nobody reacted. That was you, wasn't it?"
Oh my god. No, goddammit no, why are you so goddamn suspicious, Taylor. I rub at my chin like I'm a thoughtful and intelligent person thinking hard. "You know, that would've been a clever idea, if I had thought of it." Taylor keeps her face still, but she's all offended and... slightly embarrassed? Hmmm. Success? "Back in reality, I'd not gotten enough sleep, strained my power in ways I've never used it before, was carried around by you which is, let me tell you, not a smooth ride at all before you start throwing other people's carcasses next to me, and I was waaaay more concerned someone was going to blow my head off because we'd spent thirty seconds too many around the birdbrain. And anyway, were you even paying attention to other people? Most of the capes had blood staining them, and not many of them had costumes that tastefully obscured the point. Nobody cared." Seriously girl, it was an Endbringer fight.
Oh, this isn't entirely true, now that I think about it. "Well, okay, not nobody, there were like three xenophiles who thought it was hot-" Haha Taylor being grossed out is cute. "-plus there were non-capes who were sure you were some murderbeast, but they thought that about all the capes with bloodstains and no obvious wounds. Basic paranoia." Like you is left unsaid. It's so obvious. "So no, Boss, I didn't do nuthin' without your express permission." Mostly because I just wanted to sleep. (Okay actually I did a few things, but nothing she missed, and she approved, however grudgingly, of the things she caught. So close enough!) Oh, but of course Taylor is being all suspicious and paranoid and even raising an eyebrow at me. Argument coup de grace! "You do realize that even if someone did alter the mood of the place, there were like a hundred capes there, right?"
Taylor does an admirable job of keeping her immediate embarrassment off her face, but then stops trying ('cause I'm awesome and she knows it) and looks away like she's realized she's the worst person who ever did live. Ha! I wi-
"I'm sorry."
-iiii
n
Uh.
Wait shit. She apologized? B-but why would she apologize she has every reason to suspect me even though she's totes wrong in this case and nobody ever apologizes to me and I? How do- Apology, What Do?! Do I...er... uh... how does this work?
Um. Okay, let's go with... "We're cool." Yeah, be cool Cherie. Be totally cool and calm and accept the apology like a boss, you're awesome, wait what's Taylor looking at why am I crying stop staring at my tears
I turn around so Taylor can't see. Dammit. Be more on the ball, Cherie. You are a master of feelings, it can't be that hard to stay on top of your own. Shit, need an excuse. "One sec', I haven't been to the bathroom in an age." Lies! All lies! I literally just handled all my bathroom stuff before she got here but I have no other escape hatches!
FLEEEEEEE
I wash my face and listen in on Taylor's brooding of broodness. Brood. Batman brood. Oh god why won't the tears stop just stop tears there's nothing to cry about apologies are no big deal. I wash and use a little towel to dry and goddammit I just applied some blush and all and now it's all being wasted, might as well get it all off while I'm in here rather than having a half-assed outcome.
Focusing on that helps. By the time I'm reasonably certain I've gotten all the blush and so on down the drain, the tears have stopped coming and I don't have that glisten-y thing that happens when you're about to cry. I'm good. And Taylor is... still brooding. W-well, good. She deserves to brood after unfairly making me cry by apologizing to me!... yeah even I can't shovel this shit.
Cheery (Cherie) Distraction! "So boss, what are we doing tonight? Same thing we do every night, right?" I do the voice, I could do Pinky perfectly before I triggered, though I can't do it quiiite right nowadays. Not sure if it's puberty or if I just got rusty.
...
Seriously? "Really? I mean, I wasn't really expecting you to play along, but you've never heard of it?"
...
Yes, she has never even heard of Pinky and the Brain. Oh my god. She is a failure as a human being. You have not lived until you've aspired to be one of two mice trying to conquer the world no matter how many times they fail at it. (Except for that one time Pinky did succeed)
Taylor just flat-out ignores me. "We're going to go on the, uh, 'camping trip' we discussed last night. After I retrieve my costume." Okay sure fine. Why not. No idea why she's bothering with the code word bullshit, nobody else is around and I'd know if someone was listening in via having bugged the place, come on, what kind of loser does she think- why is she having a depression spiral what the fuck Taylor initiate EMERGENCY HUGS MANEUVER!
Okay this is worth it just for how she freaks the fuck out. I should hug her more often for that alone.
Okay, she's broken out of the spiral now. I didn't even need to use my power! I may yet cut off this bullshit permanently and just have a happyfuntimes friend for life, without brainwashing! That would be amazing. So I pull back. "We can get you a better costume."
Blank stare. "Better?"
Oh god Taylor this is not complicated- she's being depressed again. Don't make me hug you- the fuck is this super-determination, grizzled vet refusing to give in bullshit? What is going on in her skull? Why is she super-determined in response to talking about getting her a better costume?!
No, no, fuck this, I don't care. "I'm not even going to ask." Some things Cherie Was Not Meant To Know. "Yeah, a blanket, a bicycle helmet, and an admittedly rad scarf is kind of a shit costume, easily improved upon, and I'm willing to spend some money on you. Just so long as we don't buy it all in one place, it's unlikely anyone will connect you to your costume just because you bought a part from them, even if they see the costume in full in person."
What, moi having practiced disguises? Why would you suggest such a scandalous idea!
... Taylor isn't even surprised or anything. Or impressed. Darn it Taylor, do you have to suck the fun out of everything? She just says 'okay' like a boring person.
Taylor is so goddamn boring. Black on black on black. It looks okay, don't get me wrong, primarily because I'm awesome, but still. Even the decision to wear a cape is boring: she's not going for cool factor, she's going for being able to throw shit at people so she can monsterify.
At least I'm able to use that as an in to get her to accept a detachable skirt. Also goddamn black why would you wear a black skirt are you an emo wannabe is that what you are.
Why does someone who doesn't know what Batman is insist on dressing like the Goddamn Batman? Not even Batgirl, with the purple and all, no, Batman, with the black and the leather and the more black. Only worse, because Batman at least has bits of yellow, his symbol and his belt and all.
I end up lying and claiming Taylor looks perfectly feminine in it, when she tries the ensemble on in my hotel room. She's all anxious about this bullshit (So stop dressing like a man!) and it's way too late to get her something girlier, especially since all she wants is heavy black shit. Like. Why even bother to buy a new set if she's just going to make the same choices that led to this one? It's only got a skirt because I insisted on it! So. Flagrant lies to assuage her dumbass concerns she's insufficiently feminine while choosing to be masculine at every step. Le shock! You are not very feminine if you choose to not be!
Christ.
I was originally going to get myself a Disney Princess sort of dealy going on, get me a proper costume while we're handling Taylor, but Taylor was all 'pink is not camo' and 'black is the new everything' (okay maybe not that one) and otherwise was laaaame so I ended up giving in to her concerns about 'stealth' and her secret desire to loom over people and say 'I'm Batman' in a gravelly growl and just went with black on black on black plus a white mask of a woman's face with starkly red lips. 'cause I'm a goddamn girly ghost in the shadows, okay? Then I had the awesome idea of doing the blindfold thing, taking my bright red scarf and tying it over the mask's eyeholes.
It's fucking awesome, actually. I am surprisingly okay with this direction for my look. Fear me, mortals, and despair.
Taylor thinks it's creepy. Yyyyeah, that's nice Miss Masculinely Goddamn Batman. Batpot, meet Batkettle.
I don't even bother to touch on that nonsense. Christ, girl.
Taylor also made us buy a bunch of other bullshit like food and drinks and shit. I guess she wants this to be convincing as a camping trip lie thing. I insist we should get a second sleeping bag but Taylor vetoes that as a waste of money, which I don't even know how to answer that given it's all a goddamn waste of money it's not like we're going on a real camping trip, right? We'll be lounging in hotels and all, like fucking duh. And I know she's not trying to subtly signal to me and/or other people that she intends for us to share the one sleeping bag hinthint lesbo signals, so I just. What is wrong with you, Taylor?
Whatever.
She has me talk to Danny again, tell him about our quoteunquote 'camping trip'. This is sliiightly harder than convincing him on the sleepover. In fact, I eventually give up and pass the phone off to Taylor because he's all suspicious of who-knows-what I don't know what normal parents think Christ. Let Taylor land the finishing blow on this dumbass conversation. Taylor panics a whole lot over the course of the call, Danny gets mad but I think not at Taylor? I dunno, I'm tuning them out, frowning at my nails. I need to get a file, get them honed properly. Actually, should I go for more of a dagger-nail thing? It'd be pretty awesome to claw somebody's eyeballs out with my bare fingers, right? It'd be great with the aesthetic we got going on and all, too. Still need a file for that, though, forgot to buy one... oh well, I can get one later, during the 'camping trip'. No big.
Oh my god Danny is feeling hope for his daughter. He has no goddamn clue. That is the funniest shit all day. Stop looking at me like that Taylor, this is hilarious. 'My psychopath daughter's life is looking on the up now that she's friends with a manipulative Master and is plotting a murdertrip! Hope!' I mean wow you cannot make this shit up.
"She's the kind of person I need right now."
What? What's that supposed to mean? Why is Taylor saying that like it's a bad thing? She just looks back at me like I'm crazy and yeah she's not going to answer that one if I press is she? Dammit.
Conversation winds down from there, so I don't even get any real hints from her. Taylor turns off my phone, then stares at it. She's all nostalgic and hopeful and weird shit like that, lost in her own thoughts, staring at the phone. I give her a minute, then get impatient, start tapping my foot... calling her name... I actually have to snap my fingers to get her attention. Christ, girl. It's like you're crazy enough to willingly spend time around the Simurgh oh snap!
With all that dumb stuff handled, it's go time! Time for us to pretend to be camping in the woods and shit!
