Chapter 9

No matter how many times a Moroi hugs me, I shall never get used to it.

I was surprised to an attack when I entered my dorm room at Amberwood. I didn't expect anyone in my room, since I dorm alone. I used to share a dorm with Jill, but once Angeline arrived I received my own room.

"Sydney!" the young girl exclaimed, throwing herself at me. Her tall frame squeezed my shorted one. "Tell me Adrian was drunk and what he heard wasn't true! Tell me I heard wrong."

I froze for a moment, unsure what she was speaking about. That was, until I remembered about the bond. She knew everything. Everything that I was experiencing, she knew about. Well, to look at the bright side, I wouldn't have to worry about how to tell her.

"Jill… You know it was. But I'll be fine, I promise." I lied. I don't know if I'll be fine. This disease is common among Alchemists and 90% die from it. They also get removed from their posts from it. No one wants a sick Alchemist on the job when a healthy one could do better.

"You told Adrian you could die. I'm not a kid Sydney, you can tell me." She sniffled, pulling back. She sat down on the bed and looked up at me, tears shimmering in her green eyes.

"I'll be fine Jill. I'm going back to the doctor tomorrow afternoon. ." I sighed, rubbing my forehead. I glanced at the clock on the nightstand. It was only 6 o'clock and despite the coffee in my hand, I already needed a nap.

Jill bounced up immediately. "Let me come! I don't want to hear about this second hand again!"

"Jill…"

"Please! Please Sydney, I promise I'll be good!" She whined. She continued whining until I finally gave in.

"Fine, just please lower you r voice."

"YAY," she exclaimed. "I mean yay!" she whispered after I winced.

We left the next afternoon. I avoided breakfast, knowing it would be weird since Jill now knows a huge secret of mine the rest of the group doesn't know. After lunch, we headed off.

We got in the car and started the hour long drive to the doctor. I had to go that far so a) no one I know would see me and b) the doctor is an old friend of my moms who isn't an alchemist so won't snitch.

Thank god for it being the middle of the afternoon on a Saturday, so I don't have to worry about returning for curfew.

When we arrived at the tiny doctor's office, my stomach clenched. As much as I didn't want to admit it, I was nervous. I was scared of the news to come. Will I be okay? I know there is no cure, but I have to have hope.

Jill took my hand and squeezed it lightly. "Everything will be fine."

Great, now I'm being comforted by a teenager. As we walked in, I tried to believe everything would be fine.

….

"Sydney…"

"Jill, I'm fine. I-I just need some time to myself. Also, I told Adrian I would come to his house after the appointment."

"But-"

"Bye."

I backed out of the Amberwood parking lot before she could protest. I really did need to be alone after all the news we heard.

After the appointment, we drove in silence. I was brave enough to hold back tears in front of Jill. I had to be. She can't know what the doctor said behind closed doors.

I was close to Adrian's apartment when I stopped the car. Not close enough that he could see the car if he looked outside, but it was within walking distance. That's when I broke down.

Sobs racked through my body. Stroke? Seizure? I could die anytime. I was given medicine, but it's just to relieve the pain. There is nothing they can do to cure it. I have an advanced case of SLE connected to my brain. Ironic that it has to be my brain, my biggest asset. Tears stream down my face and over the golden tattoo on my cheek. That tattoo was supposed to keep me safe and healthy. The Moroi blood in it should've helped me but it didn't. Now I'm stuck with this disease that is going to kill me.

Among Alchemists, the span of time of living with SLE is about 10-15 years with milder cases. In worse cased like me… 6 months to 5 years.

I let myself cry for a few minutes, allowing the tears to flow freely. I stopped myself from thinking of my life span. I just wanted to be better. I tried to think of happier thoughts. The new book I should be getting soon from the library on the history of cars. I already knew most of the information, but cars always took my thoughts away from sadness.

I restarted the car and drove the other 30 seconds to Adrian's. I wiped away the tears and strode up to the door.

"So, what's the verdict Sage?" His voice was something I've never heard before. Worried, scared, and concerned.

"I… I'm going to be fine. That's all that matters." I pushed my way into the apartment, which was different then it was when I left last night. A white tarp covered the floor. Canvases were scattered around the room, each containing a beautiful painting containing something of gold. Gold and purple seemed to be his two new favorite colors. "Been busy?"

"Oh, these? Yeah, since I woke up, I haven't been able to stop painting. New inspiration."

I tried to really look into the paintings and see what they were, but I failed. I guess my mind wasn't open enough yet.

"Okay, now tell me the truth. How did the doctor's visit go? Not good seeing from the tears in your eyes." I turned and looked at him, hearing the words he said to me last night in my head. Don't leave me Sydney.

"I'm fine. It was all just a lot of take in. Side effects are going to get worse before they get better, so that's not fun. Besides that, I'll be fine." My acting skills were better than I gave them credit for. I lied so easily.

"Really?"

"Really! I'm going to be perfectly fine!" I said happily. Inside, I was crying.

"Well that's great!" Adrian scooped me up in his arms and spun me in a circle. On normal days, I wouldn't have allowed it, but today was no normal day. I wrapped my arms around him and hugged him close. That was all I wanted, a hug.

"Yeah, great." I mumbled into his chest. The scent of cloves and some high end cologne rolled off of him in a scent I secretly loved.

"We should celebrate! Fondue, on me!" He grabbed the keys off the table with his pale hands and headed to the door.

"Fine. Free dinner." I smiled a bit, still feeling guilty from lying to someone who cared so much.

He walked out the door, only to re-enter a moment later.

"Oh Sage, can you spare me some money? Kinda low on funds."

I rolled my eyes and pushed him out the door. Why am I agreeing to dinner with Adrian? I still am questioning myself about that.

I AM SO SORRY! I am so sorry I haven't updated in forever. My school play was last weekend and is again this weekend, so practices have been hectic. I've been there until 9 almost every night. I've barely had time to breath, let alone write. I promise, next week I will write more. I'm currently writing a tiny Sherlock fanfic too, so I'm trying to write that. Also, I have big news (I guess). I am trying to write a novel. I'm not giving details yet, but I'm excited about it. I'm still writing, but I expect it will be good. I'm trying to put a lot of effort into it. It is my goal to have it done by the time I graduate high school in 2016. So that's taking a lot of time. I love you all and thanks for putting up with my not uploading.

Love,

Kaitlyn xoxo