Fluff

By LMR

Disclaimer: I do not own Bobby and Alex. I do own James and Tanya, but I am not deluded enough to believe that anyone gives a fig about them.

A.N.: This chapter starts with James and Tanya. It is imperative that you DO NOT PANIC! Bobby and Alex will be here soon enough to alleviate your OC overdose and BA withdrawal symptoms.

Chapter 9: The Chapter With Enough BA to Choke a Horse (and a little of those other guys too)

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James raised an eyebrow. "That's quite an assumption on your part, Tanya."

Tanya felt her face turn what she was sure was an unattractive shade of fuchsia. She looked down at her feet, feeling extremely imbecilic.

Seeing her obvious distress, James rushed to finish his thought: "You're assuming I don't already know what he did with the duct tape. As a matter of fact, I do," he said boastfully. "But I am too much of a gentleman to discuss it." She looked up, her eyes wide in surprise and her chin nearly hitting the dance floor. "Anyway, I'm sure we'll have plenty of better things to talk about on our first official date."

His heart actually skipped a beat at the smile that spread across her face.

xXx

"Well, they seem to be having a good time," Bobby surmised, sounding mildly annoyed.

Alex lifted her head off its favorite perch to look him in the eye. At such close range, she found herself looking at his chin. She was surprised to realize that the lack of stubble annoyed her. It was part of him, part of Bobby, and that made it good.

She wondered how it would feel against her skin. Her face, her neck-- Don't go there, Alex!

She forced herself to focus on what he was saying. Tanya. James. Good time. Got it. "Well you really can't sound so glum about that. What do you think we're having here, a funeral?" The song ended, and Bobby and Alex reluctantly separated; gestured to their dates that they were heading back to the table.

Bobby threw a guilty smile at James as he slid into the booth beside his partner. "Sorry, I didn't mean steal your date for so long."

"It's not his fault - I was holding him hostage," Alex informed them casually. Bobby chuckled while Tanya and James exchanged knowing looks.

"I can't blame you," Tanya admitted. She put her hand on that of her date, and watched with some amusement as Alex's eyes narrowed. She quickly changed the subject. "So, what are we having?" she asked cheerfully.

Everyone dived into their menus and they spent a couple minutes in silence looking over the dishes. Bobby was trying to be good. He really was. But he was sandwiched between two intriguing and beautiful women and found it nearly impossible to not find every excuse possible to give them some sort of attention, and the menu, full of Japanese Kanji,was providing ample opportunity. He pointed to a symbol in the entrees section of Alex's.

"That's Shabu-Shabu, it's basically a meat fondue."

"Oh, okay." Alex turned her attention back to James and conversed quietly about noodle dishes, trying not to think about how good Bobby smelled. Like cloves, sandalwood, and a hint of vanilla, and under that, his own man-smell. Yummy. "Here it is. For cultural pudding-heads like me: Americana," she read triumphantly. "Baked cod. Grilled shrimp," she murmured. "Here - broiled steak with sauteed mushrooms and Swiss cheese, perfect."

Bobby simply nodded, secretly glad that Alex hadn't chosen something that he or one of the others would have to eat for her once she got a look at it. It took him a moment to notice the other reactions her choice was getting.

At the words "Swiss cheese," Tanya had tucked her entire lower lip into her mouth in an attempt to stay quiet, and did her best to think about something that would get the threatening laughter away from her mouth. Brain-eating zombies, dead puppies, Titanic, that stupid song about leaving the cake out in the rain, anything not funny!

She glanced up at James and that was nearly her undoing. He was staring very intently at his plate, as if he expected it to start broadcasting the sports channel. She could see the corners of his mouth twitching and quickly forced her head down, knowing that if they caught each other's gaze, the laughter would start.

The detectives looked at their dates, looked at each other to make sure they were at least completely missing something together, then looked back at their dates. "I think we missed the joke," Alex admitted.

James and Tanya started up with a string of 'I... uh... well... um's

"Movie we were talking about," Tanya lied easily. She hated trying to explain her blatherings after the fact. They were only good once, if that. She didn't want her real date, her supposedly real date, and her supposedly real date's real date to all think she was bonkers. James raised an eyebrow, but said nothing, and she got the sense from his small smile that he understood.

Thankfully, Bobby and Alex had both moved on. Bobby was still trying to decide and Alex, judging by her murmuring, seemed to be looking out of morbid curiosity to see what dishes were served raw. Having decided on a pork soup, Bobby was now amusing himself by trying to persuade her to try sashimi.

"No way, Bobby. Hey, James, here's one that looks tame." She read: "Asparagus Mushroom Ragu with Goat Cheese."

This was too much. Tanya and James didn't even try to hold in their laughter. They were having fits. When James recovered, he looked up to see his date looking at him with an expression somewhere between bewilderment and fascination. He cleared his throat and attempted to muster up some dignity. He looked everywhere but at Tanya.

"I guess you just had to be there," he admitted meekly.

xXx

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