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I got it! I finally got Tenshi to write the rest of the Jerry Show!

And I must say, it's some sort of hilarity!

At last, the Jerry Springer Show!

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Ayame, Sango and Kagome are rolling over in the floor laughing
Ayame:
Hell yes! Hellyes!!!
Sango: You showed him girl! You showed his ass!
Kagome:Shit yeah! Fucking hell yes!!!
Ayame: Ilove Maury now!!!
Sango: Oh, Jerry Springer's next!
Kagome:Yeah! I wanna see me break that chair over Kikyou's back!
Ayame: You about killed that kinky ho!
Kagome: I know I did! She deserved it to! That fuckin' bitch! Shakin' her nasty skank ass around my man!

On the TV…

Crowd:(Screaming) JERRY! JERRY! JERRY! JERRY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Jerry:(comes out from backstage calmly, sorting note cards and smiling) Hello! Hello everyone and welcome! (Takes a seat) Today we have a VERY special show… We all know how wonderful it is to finally find that 'special someone' and once you find them, you try your best to make it work…but as we all know too well, things don't always go as happily as planned… Let's get on with it, shall we? Today we have a lovely young lady whose journey to true love has hit a VERY unexpected bump…everyone; this is Kagome's story-

Kagome: ( Sitting serenely in the chair beside Jerry's, hands folded in lap)Thanks Jerry… I've come here today to confront my boo InuYasha…
Jerry: (Pats her on the shoulder) It says here you've been together how long?
Kagome:(Scowls) 2 Damn years!
Crowd:OOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!
Jerry:(Stands) Why don't we get on with it- Here he is- INUYASHA!

InuYasha:(Walks out, does the chest-pound-peace-sign-thing and sits beside Kagome) Sup?
Jerry: Now that we've got both of you out here- Kagome- continue; tell InuYasha what you came here to say…
InuYasha: (Growls) Oh HELL NO! You're fucking pregnant AGAIN?
Kagome: (Smacks him in the head) Shut the hell up! I ain't got –BLEEP- to say to your ass! The reason I brought you here is 'cuz I know you're mutha –BLEEP-'ncheat'n on me!
Crowd:(GASPS)
Kagome:(Stands and faces the crowd) That's RIGHT! This sonuvabiotch has been off (Mimes bump drafting) with this diiiiiirrrrrrrtttttyyyyyy ass –BLEEP'n-SKANK!!!!!!!!!!!!
InuYasha:(Stands up and gets in Kagome's face and tries to put his arms around her) Don't be like that baby…
Jerry: (sighs and reshuffles cards before getting to his feet and addressing the crowd)Without further adieu, lets bring out the woman Kagome claims ruined her relationship –and- her life-
Kagome:(Glares at Jerry) ExCUUUSE me?! That ho didn't ruin my life but I sure as HELL gonna ruin her-
Jerry:(cuts her off) KIKIYOU!
Crowd:(Begins to scream and jeer and cheer)

Kikiyou: (Runs out middle fingers in full salute and runs to the edge of the stage and screams at the audience) YA'LL SHUT THE HELL UP YA'LL DON'T KNOW MEEEEEEEE!!! (Walks over and takes a seat on InuYasha's lap, gives him a big sloppy kiss and a grope before getting up, flipping her hair defiantly in Kagome's direction and sitting down)
Kagome: (Begins to get up, a murderous look on her face) Oh HELL no!
Jerry:(Puts a hand on Kagome's head and pushes her back down, clears throat) So… you're the other woman?
Kikiyou:(smacks her gum loudly) That's right! But if ya'll wanna get all technical, I'm the ONLY woman! (smirks at Kagome) That ho look like a MAN to me!
Kagome:(Leaps from her seat and lunges at Kikiyou) C'MERE YOU FAT PIECE OF –BEEP-NASTY! (Jumps on her and they struggle for a bit before falling onto the floor)
Kikiyou: (Claws at Kagome)InuYasha baby, get this fugly ho offa me!
InuYasha: (Jumps up and down, grinning and cheering) RIP HER TOP OFF!!!!!!
Crowd: (Chants) RIP IT OFF RIP IT OFF RIP IT OFF RIP IT OFFFF!!!!
Steve and other guard-guys: (Drag Kagome off of Kikiyou and holds them apart from each other)
Kagome:(Being held mid air by Steve, her arms and legs flailing madly) UGLY ASS WAFFLE TWAT!
Kikiyou: (Spits at Kagome, arms clawing in mid air) AT LEAST I COULD KEEP A MAN!
Kagome:(Freezes and stares at Kikiyou)
Kikiyou:(Freezes and stares at Kagome)
InuYasha:(Scratches his ass when he thinks the camera isn't aimed at him)
Kagome:(Kicks Steve in the balls, he drops her and she lets out a roar suitable for Xena; Warrior Princess) That's IT bitch! It's ON!
Kikiyou: (Laughs) Bring it bitch!

Jerry: (Sighs and wonders off to clean his glasses)
InuYasha:(Nudges Jerry, not realizing his mic is still on) You got any water up in this place?

Kagome:
(Grabs a chair)HUSSY! (Swings it at her)
Kikiyou:(Dodges) SLUT MONKEY!
Kagome:(Swings) -BEEP-!!!
Kikiyou: (Dodges)-BEEP-!!!

Jerry:
(Begins to inconspicuously inch his left pants leg up, finally revealing a hairy, pale thigh, with a shiny hip flask)
InuYasha:(Arches an eyebrow)
Jerry:(Takes a drink and offers it to InuYasha)

Kagome:(Swings) -BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE-Her mouth is moving at an astounding speed-EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP- YOUR MOMMA'S UNCLE'S NASTY, BUG EYED, LOW-BALLED PET GOAT!
InuYasha & Jerry: Oh Snap.
Kikiyou:(Staggers slightly) …Whore!
Kagome:(Shrieks and swings one last, fatal time)
Crowd: (Silence)
Kagome: (Faces the crowd and raises her arms like Rocky as Kikiyou, struck by the chair, groans on the floor) OH HELL YEEEAAHHH!!

Jerry:(Waves off the camera crew, eyes bloodshot, and passes out onto the stage)
Camera Man:(Cuts to Steve)
Steve:(Still wary of this abused groin, attempts to compose himself) I've always wanted to do this! But-But- (Inuyasha is running around behind Steve with an extremely pissed-off looking Kagome chasing after him. He mouths "Hi mom!") But what I really want to do… is DIRECT!
The Jerry Theme Song begins playing, signaling a sign-off
Steve:
Aw, man!

Ayame, Sango, and Kagome are crying, mascara running, they're laughing so hard
Kagome:
(Raising a fist in the air) Whoo! I killed that bitch!
Sango:(Clapping) That's my ho!
Ayame: Hey, Kagomalisha, isn't his mother dead?
Kagome: Shh! Don't ruin his dream!
The door suddenly bursts open, Kaede on the other side
Kaede:
Merry Christmas you pumpkin-headed, albino fuckers! (Tosses a bag of grass at the stunned girls and walks away)
Ayame
: (Coming out of the shock) Kaede, it's Easter!

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Alright! There's that! Finally completed! I've got to get some more ideas for little skits for this fic, I know. It'll probably be some big shindig or something. Something in the street… or the Mystic parking lot!

-Yura