I was gonna write ChellDos fic until I realized I hadn't updated this in a couple weeks and then felt bad so here. Take some drunk people and Kendall being awkard.
You're welcome, internet.
"Thanksgiving" dinner with James's mom was... awkward, to say the least. She didn't really say much to either me or James for the first few minutes, only quietly sipping her fancy champaign and giving me a cold stare from the opposite end of the table. It was a very different look than the one she had given me earlier when I had first gotten there.
"So, Kendall," she said, after looking my visibe body up and down more times than I could count, "where did you say you were from again?"
"M-Minnesota." I accidentally stammered.
"Hm, where in Minnesota?" she took a delicate bite of her pizza, before carefully setting it back down on the plate.
"Dover, it's about 20 miles outside of Rochester." I explained, before quietly sipping my own drink.
"Is it a small town?" she asked.
"Very." I said, nodding. "It's got a population of under 1,000."
"Quaint." she spoke amusedly. "Very quaint. James," she turned her head quickly to James, who had been quietly picking at his slice of pizza, eyes glued awkwardly to the plate. "how did you say you and Kendall met again?"
"He's my roommate, Mom. We met on the first day we were there." James explained softly.
"Ah, okay. Since you won't be joining us for Christmas, I thought I could buy your present a bit... early." Brooke flashed me her megawatt smile- intimidating and beautiful at the same time. "So, tomorrow morning I'm taking you out to buy you a suit for tomorrow night. Won't that be fun?" There was a slight edge to her speech, something that told me that if I insinuated anything less than thrilled she might have me decapitated.
"Sounds like a plan." I smiled warmly. I'm not an actor by any stretch of the imagination, but parents have always liked me, whether they were boyfriends' parents or someone elses'.
Brooke smiled back and continued eating her pizza, this time with a bit more vigor, but still elegantly and in a way only she probably could have pulled off.
We continued on like that for the rest of dinner, making quiet conversation, James studying the tabletop like he would be tested on it's appearance for his final grade the next morning, the occasional sound of knife cutting pizza after Brooke got tired of eating with her fingers. It was nice- nerve-wracking, but nice.
Brooke dismissed herself from the table at 8 o'clock, claiming she had some important international calls to make before she got ready for bed. She invited us to have as much of the pizza as we wanted, and what we didn't want, someone would clean up for us and put any leftovers in the fridge.
After she was completely gone, James's head snapped up. "I think she liked you." he said unconvincingly. "I think."
"Is 'I think' good?" I asked.
"Probably." James shrugged, finishing off his slice in two bites. "Ugh, I can't stand eating in front of that woman, she makes me feel like a complete slob. I have no idea how you did that."
"I just didn't focus too much on her hands." I said, finishing off my last slice while James reached in for his second piece.
"Anyways, I'll be with you and her tomorrow, so you don't have to worry about any awkward conversation. You brought something semi-dressy with you, right?" James asked. "Not that I don't love the whole bohemian-homeless-hipster thing you normally do, because believe me, I do, but you're gonna stick out like a sore thumb at the mall tomorrow dressed like that."
"What bohemian-homeless-hipster thing?" I asked, bemused.
"Uh, like the beanies, and the flannel with that weird stain on the elbow and the Nirvana lyrics painted on the back of it, and the old Vans. I think it's hot as hell, but the mall my mom's gonna be taking us to is in a professional park area, most people won't be wearing anything short of ties and slacks." James explained.
"I have slacks, but not a tie." I said, reclining back in my chair (which is really fucking hard to do in straight up dining room furniture, also known as the most uncomfortable furniture known to man).
"You can borrow one of mine." James offered, finishing up and then dropping his napkin into his plate. "Come on, I want to take a shower and we'll be forced out of bed at around 9, so it's best to go ahead and get ready for bed so we can just pass out whevnever."
"You sound like you have experience with this." I joked.
"Dude, every year for, like, 17 years." James said, exasperated. "When I was a junior, I started working out and hit a growth spurt so I lost a shit-ton of weight, and couldn't fit into any of my old dress clothes anymore, so I spent, like, 9 hours at that place. It was hell."
"Wait, lost a shit-ton of weight?" I paused by the stairs and waited for James to catch up.
"Yeah, like, I was really fat as a kid. I actually had to switch schools growing up because of it. It was awful." James said. "But, if it hadn't been for that, you would have a slightly chubby, but still adorable boyfriend instead of a fine-as-hell, toned adoness boyfriend."
"I like how you're still implying we would be together." I teased, knowing full well we would be.
"Well duh, you're not a shallow asshole Kendall. Pretentious as fuck sometimes, yeah, but that's part of being an arts major. Shallow? God, no." James flung his arm around my shoulder and led me up the stairs.
When we got to James's room, he excused himself to the bathroom while I sprawled out on his bed, flipping through the TV channels. I eventually settled on some science show that would be mind-numbing enough to put me to sleep at 10 when I was used to going to bed at 2 in the morning. I decided to take a shower in the morning and switched into a pair of sweatpants (mine) and a t-shirt (James's... maybe. It might have been some guy's a year ahead of us who lives in our dorm because he and James had the exact same shirt, and they could have gotten mixed up in the wash, but James had had it for a month, so I was assuming it was his) before climbing into bed to wait for the bathroom to empty out so I could brush my teeth.
"I'm guessing you're sleeping in here?" James asked upon exiting the bathroom. He had gotten dressed in the bathroom, but his hair still dripped, making the collar and shoulders of his shirt a tiny bit see-through.
"Yeah, sure." I said, too tired to really give a damn. I forced myself to get out of bed and brush my teeth, but the minute I got back into the bed, it got incredibly hard to keep my eyes open. All the stress of trying to make sure Brooke liked me that had been piled on since the beginning of the month was lifted, and after the strain of dinner, I was exhausted.
"Someone's sleepy." James teased, flopping onto his side of the bed.
"A little bit." I agreed.
"I'll wake you up when you need to get up, so don't worry about an alarm or anything." James promised.
"How do I know you'll do that?" I questioned, my voice muffled becauset my face was smushed into the pillow.
"I'll set the alarm and get you up when I get up. Also, when the sun comes through the balcony doors, you're gonna wake up no matter what time it is. They took down my shades since I left, so we'll probably be up at, like, 7:30." James crawled under the duvet while he spoke, the TV illuminating his body in a soft light.
"Okay." I burrowed deeper beneath the warm covers. I wasn't about to pass out, but I could sleep pretty easily right then.
"Go to bed, stupid. You look tired as hell." James said, sliding over to me before wrapping an arm cautiously around me. I burried my face in his chest, before moving my eyes enough to watch the show on TV over his shoulder. He managed to press a kiss to my temple despite the awkward position before putting his own head down.
I don't really remember falling asleep. All I know is that I shut my eyes one minute and the next I open them and the sun is streaming through the balcony doors.
James was already up, tugging on a pair of pants. He obviously didn't know I was awake, or else he would have said something, so I keep quiet to see what he'll do.
He pulls an undershirt over his naked torso and then buttons up his dress shirt over it. I could finally tell why girls (and some guys I met back when I spent all my time on the internet learning about what it means to be gay) got all doe-eyed over a guy in nice clothes.
He fixes a tie around his neck, looks it over, and then abandons it. He walks over to the bed and whacks me with it.
"Wake up, sleeping beauty." He announces loudly.
"Ugh, I was already up. Thanks for the reverse striptease, by the way." I groaned, pulling myself from beneath the covers.
"You're welcome, babe." James winked.
I shuffled into the bathroom and stared at myself in the mirror. My hair was pointed in about seventeen different directions, and my eyes had awful bags underneath them.
"Jesus, I look like shit." I mumbled, starting up the shower.
After my shower, I at least felt better. I pulled on the clothes that James had brought in for me while I was in the shower and then headed downstairs.
"Morning, Kendall." Brooke offered me an "oh my God, it's fucking early" smile. "How are you feeling today?"
"Fine." I smiled. "You?" I felt like I was having a conversation with my old therapist, not my boyfriend's mom.
"Fine, thanks." she flashed me a business grin and then went back to downing her breakfast smoothie.
"My mom's not a morning person until she's had at least four cups of fruit." James explained once his mom was out of earshot. "Like, normal people drink coffee because the caffine wakes them up; my mom drinks a big ass smoothie every morning so she can wake up."
"Ah." I said, unable to find actual words.
"Here, let me fix your hair, it's a mess." James said sitting down on the couch. He patted his lap. "Sit."
I plopped myself awkwardly down onto his lap. He fiddled with the back of my head for a minute before saying, "Okay, yeah, this isn't gonna work. You're too tall for this shit. Sit on the footrest." James pointed to an overly-padded, white, leather cube on the floor. I followed his instruction and allowed him to finish messing with my hair.
"Okay, I don't have any gel or anything down here, but since it's wet, it should hold pretty well while it dries, I think." James pulled his phone out and put it on front camera so I could see myself.
"Holy shit." I said, looking at myself. My slight bags were still there, but suddenly, I looked like an honest to God rich kid, like the ones that went to the private school a couple of blocks down from my house who always drove by in their jeeps, blasting Eminem at six in the morning because they're assholes. My hair was slicked back into a mature 'do, my skin looked even and clear (thanks to the shower), and the button down I was wearing looked crisp and clean in the early morning light.
"You like it?" James smiled. "Because I know I do."
"I-I do." I muttered, unable to look away. Christ, I'm such a teenage girl sometimes.
Brooke came back in, car keys in hand. "I was going to have the driver take us, but this is family bonding day, so James can drive us." Brooke tossed him the keys before giving him a "drive the car and don't complain also I have shotgun because you and your boyfriend aren't having a private conversation without me involved because you might have voice sex or something goddamnit it's almost 8:30 in the morning" smile. James just took the keys and led us out to the garage.
The drive to the store was... unpleasant, to say the least. It was inherently awful, just very awkward. Brooke made decent conversation, James only spoke when spoken to, and I just tried to be pleasant.
As we pulled into the lot of the mall, James pulled up to the curve and handed the keys over to the valet parking guy. First of all, I'd never been to a mall where valet parking was a thing. Second, this guy looked like he could charge me more than my house was worth, so I kept to myself while Brooke talked to him.
"You seem intimidated." James said smoothly, grabbing my hand.
"A little bit, I mean, this world is just-"
"This world? Kendall it's the same world, just a slightly different variation." James laughed softly.
"You ready to go, Kendall?" Brooke said, stepping in front of us. James didn't drop my hand, so I didn't drop his.
"Yes, ma'am." I said, trying to keep my voice from shaking nervously.
"'Yes, ma'am'! Oh God, aren't you just the cutest thing." Brooke laughed a high-pitched, Sailor Moon-villain-esque laugh before turning and walking towards the entrance of the mall.
The inside of the mall wasn't as different as I thought it would be. It had some higher end stores that I'd heard of before, but most of them I'd never seen. The only two I recoginized were Zara and Lush, but that was it. The rest were stores with weird, artsy displays that didn't even show their clothes in their window displays. I vaguely remember my mom saying something along the lines of "if they don't advertise their big winter sale or have a way to follow them on instagram on the front window, we can't afford it" once upon a time.
"Here it is." Brooke said, leading us into a big store with some french name I couldn't pronounce. "Take your time, find something you like. Then, we'll all go out for frozen yogurt!" Brooke laughed that weird laugh again before running off to find me a sales' associate.
"Will the yogurt be coated in crushed diamonds?" I whispered in James's ear. "Seriously I'm afraid to touch anything, just breathing on something might cost me $1,000."
James snorted. "Come on, it would only be, like, $200 at most. And the yogurt isn't coated in crushed diamonds, it's an optional topping."
An associate came gliding over to us, looking like something out of those snooty french fashion designs. Her dress hung loosely off her frame, and she kept her nose up in the air in a way that came off as simultaniously snooty and like she had a legitimate sinus problem.
"Right this way, gentlemen, if you don't mind." she said, completely ignoring James's and mine's linked hands. Guess the good thing about California is that no one seems to give a shit about how gay you are.
The woman, who didn't have a nametag and didn't bother to introduce herself at all, lead us through about seventeen different suits before James stopped her at one. "That one." he said, pointing that the blue outfit that clung to my body tighter than most skinny jeans I owned. "Sized up a bit of course."
The woman nodded and then quickly shooed us off into a larger fitting room. She took a bunch of measurements, asked James some vague questions, and then returned with my clothes- neatly folded- and informed us that she would be back with the suit in my size.
"That didn't take nearly as long as it normally would for me." James said, relaxing in his seat. "But that might be because she's in a hurry today, what with everything closing early for Thanksgiving and shit."
"Yeah, I'm surprised they were even open." I said, buttoning up my shirt.
"Hm, most places around here don't close because they can't afford to close." James studied his nails. "Places like this only get business from a select few people, so they're open for anyone who needs them to be open. Enter Brooke Diamond." James picked at some dry skin on his knuckle.
The woman returned before I could answer James, and handed me a box. "Have a nice day." she said, sounding mildly pained for no reason.
"You, too." I replied, and she scurried off, only to be replace by Brooke.
"She showed me it while I payed- it's going to look lovely on you, just fantastic!" Brooke's chipper persona was beginning to wear thin. "We don't really have time to stop for food, maybe another time." Brooke gently shoved us out of the dressing room and out of the mall entirely.
We drove home in a similar condition to what we had driven there in, nearly five hours before. My stomach was beginning to growl from lack of breakfast and lunch, and I couldn't wait to get back to James's place and eat something.
Too bad the minute we got home we were greated by about 20 decorators, all setting up for Brooke's Thanksgiving soiree. James pushed me through the hustle and bustle to his room, where he shut and locked the door quickly behind him.
"I have some cheetos in my closet." James said, heading inside to grab them.
"How did you-"
"I could hear your stomach growling all the way in the front seat. Don't worry, my mom was busy making conversation to notice." James reappeared with an unopened bag of curly cheetos and handed them to me. "Not really real food, but it'll hold you over until six."
I ripped the bag open and began devouring them, watching James begin to strip. "I don't care what you do, but I'm not keeping this on until six." James said, unbuttoning his pants and pulling them off before sliding into some sweats.
I was too preoccupied with cheetos to think of anything perverted, sorry to disappoint.
By the time six rolled around, James and I reported back downstairs to help Brooke greet guests. I had practiced my lines: "I'm Kendall Knight; I'm Brooke's son's boyfriend; I'm from Dover, Minnesota; no, neither of my parents own any type of business; my mother works in healthcare; I met James at the Palm Woods; I'm a music major; alright, you have a nice night!"
The party went well for the first hour or so. The prententiousness of every hoity-toity asshole in the building was overwhelming, but I had gotten to eat and drink a shitload of wine, so I felt perfectly fine.
It was at about 9 that things started to go downhill.
James grabbed me and pulled me to the side, whispered in my ear "Meet me upstairs in 15", and then disappeared up the stairs as soon as no one was looking.
By the time I got up there, James didn't even bother waiting until we were in his room until he grabbed me and pressed his lips against mine.
"I am so horny right now." James moaned against my neck.
"You are so drunk right now." I replied, gently pushing him away.
"Kendall, please..." James moaned, pressing himself against me.
"James... You know I don't want to..." I gently pushed him away again.
"Please, baby, you don't know what that fucking suit does to me-" James pleaded.
"No, no, I'm not doing that, I'm not- I'm not ready." Tears were already starting to well up in my eyes.
James, noticing my shift in tone, backed off, and took to sitting at the end of his bed.
"I'm sorry." He said after noticing me wipe away the tears in my eyes.
"It's-it's fine, James, I'm just a baby." I stammered.
"No, it's not fine, there were boundaries, and I pushed them, and I made you cry No-no means no, I know that." James shook his head. "C'mere." he opened his arms up, beckoning me forward.
I slid over to him, and he attempted to undo the buttons on my jacket. I gently pushed his hands away and undid them myself, along with the button down. He helped me shrug out of the undershirt.
"What're we doing." I slurred, feeling very heavy and drunk after my long day and my excess wine intake.
"We're not going back down there, that's for fuckin' sure." James said. "We're gonna put on some fuckin' sweatpants-"
"Mhmm." I punctuated, unbuttoning his jacket.
"Then we're gonna turn on the TV-"
"Yeah?" I removed his jacket and got to work on his button down, my fingers faltering slightly.
"Then we're gonna get under the blankets- with the cheetos-" he reached down and picked up the half-empty bag of cheetos.
"Oh yeah." I teased as he shrugged off his jacket.
"And then I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you while we make fun of Say Yes to the Dress like we do every time we get drunk." James finished, pulling his undershirt off.
"Talk dirty to me, baby." I giggled, attempting to unbutton my pants before just yanking them down. I picked up a pair of sweats off the floor from that morning and pulled them back on and flung myself onto the bed. James followed my lead and cut the TV on.
By the time the guests downstairs were in heated (read- loud and drunk) debate over which fashion empire would be the next Chanel, James and I were passed out.
Wow this wound up longer than I thought.
Oh well, extra long chapter for you guys, then.
Next time, James's dad enters the picture.
