Dear Rumple,
today wasn't so busy, but the job is more stressful than I thought. I think, I need to familiarize myself even more and make up for the broken-down work. Then many things will be easier.
I also was really down at noon. I was so exhausted, that I fell asleep. Unfortunately, I didn't have a good dream. I dreamed of you as the Dark One. But this time you let no one get to you, not even me. Anyway. you've pushed all away, insulted and enchanted them. However, your words were the worst, because they were so hurtful, especially when you were yelling at me. But as quick as the dream began, it ended and I woke up. When I realized, that I was sitting in the office, I already noticed the tears on my face.
I felt my desire for you so much and began to cry. Anyway, no one was around, so I let free my emotions. I don't know, how long I sat there and cried with my arms wrapped around myself. I felt so lonely and wished, you were with me. I wished, you would take me in your arms, held me, whispering soothing words and kissed my pain away.
The next thing I recognized, was a person, who suddenly hugged me and calmed me. It was Ruby, who came to pick me up to lunch. I felt a little better after a few minutes. We talked for a while and skipped lunch. We also arranged a cozy DVD evening at my house (well your house) and it was really nice. We watched "Cool Runnings" and talked for a long time after the film was already to end. We drank iced tea and ate homemade popcorn. After Ruby went, I felt really better. I wasn't so sad anymore and Ruby helped me a lot. I can tell her all and she gives me advises. She's a the best friend I have.
I wondered, if I should write you this, but I want to be open and honest with you. I'm sorry if I worried you or if I make you sad. Although the last few days went well and I could sleep better the last two nights. Well, I don't always dream those nightmares. I usually dream of our past, about things, which might will be or of moments, which I want. My dreams reflect my feelings. But when I wake up, I can feel the dried tears on my face every time.
I enjoy being with people during the day and I distract myself with work. I go to the diner for lunch or Ruby brings me something over. I'll go into all shops and talk with the people in the next few days. I want to get to know them and see how they're doing. I'm still working in my library and as you know, I took some books at home.
I can't help, but I must think of you in the evening. Sometimes I cry or I dream myself to sleep. I imagine, where you could be. I close my eyes and think of your face, your beautiful eyes, your smell (I'm surrounded by your smell in your bed anyway), the feeling of your skin under my hands (even though I've only touched your hands, your neck and your face) and your lips against mine...as you can see, sometimes I'm not as strong as I seem on the outside. But I keep fighting and trying not to let me down!
Please come home soon. I miss and love you so much!
In love, Belle
A/N: I'm so happy about your lovely comments. It means a lot to me! This was a sad chapter, but I hope you like it anyway. So Belle is influenced by Lacey and she is stronger, but sometimes she's just Belle, who totally loves Rumple and miss' him so much.
