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Harry Potter

Up Yours Dumbles

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Chapter Eight

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Snape fumed as he swam to shore after being dropped in the center of the lake. He knew it was all Potter's fault that he landed in the lake. He'd probably told that bastard Argus to do it. How wrong he would be when he found out that it was Vincent who made the portkey, and programmed it to drop Snape into the center of the lake. Climbing out of the water nearest to the castle he shivered. He then headed for the front door of the castle, trying to cast warming charms on himself, but failing as he was shivering to much from the cold. The one thing he could say was he could have been dropped on the ice on the other side of the lake. Stomping into the castle, he headed for the Great Hall when he ran into two Gryffindor's coming out of the hall and snapped out in anger.

"Fifty points from Gryffindor and two weeks detention each with Filch for blocking the doorway," he snarled at the third year students.

Both students stepped aside and watched as the angry potion master that was dripping wet go to the doors to the hall.

Looking in at the head table he didn't see Dumbledore so turned and headed for the dungeon to change before heading up to the head office to report.

The two Gryffindor's headed for their tower talking and trying to figure out why Snape was dripping water all the way to the dungeon. Both hoped that he would be found by Filch and see if he tried to give him detention. By the time they were at the painting of the Fat Lady, they were laughing so hard they could barely get the password out.

Once Snape was in his office he decided instead of just changing, he needed a shower to warm up. He was quickly was under the hottest water he could stand. As the cold fled his body, he imagined what he would do to Potter when he got his hands on him. Maybe he would use his spawn as dark potion ingredients and make him watch. Once dressed in his usual black robes, he headed for the headmaster's office, sneering at everyone he saw and deducting points as he went. With a quick utterance of the password, he rode up the stairs that were hidden behind the gargoyle, only to find the door locked and sealed. Turning and snarling he went to find the half goblin Flitwick, to see if they were back. Fifteen minutes later he found out the headmaster and deputy headmistress hadn't returned from the mission and so he was heading back to his quarters where he could sulk and plan when his mark burned for the first time since they left the UK.

Heading for the gate he threw his warmest cloak on and crossed the lawn sneering when Hagrid waved to him and vowed that one day he would celebrate when his lord killed the oaf and remove the stain of the half giant from the castle. Once he stepped passed the castle's wards he concentrated on the mark and apparated to his lord's location.

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Lord Voldemort sat on his thrown and fumed. It had been almost two years since Potter had mysteriously vanished. As to the prophecy orb in the Department of Mysteries, he had been furious when he went and retrieved it himself and all it did was insult him. How it had vanished and when, he didn't know or even replaced but it had been before he had killed Potter's parents because the orb that had replaced it was in the mudbloods voice. He didn't even know how she had been able to pick it up without it driving her insane. He always thought it was her son who had to defeat him but maybe it was his mother. He really needed the whole prophecy to know but it was denied to him and he wanted to know desperately and now even his spy was missing. Had he been caught? Had he been arrested? It was infuriating not to know and the lack of assets in the ministry due to Minster Bones had his forces in retreat because she didn't give a rat's fuck about using truth serum on his people. Yes his people and the neutrals in the Wizengamot had protested and Bones had said to them that she would resign and take her niece out of the county and eighty-five percent of the aurors had signed a petition that they would leave as well. The Wizengamot had crumbled after that. Hearing the door open, he watched as Snape came into the room.

"Where have you been? I originally summoned you five days ago," Voldemort demanded.

"Pardon, my lord, but I was with the old man in the United States," Snape replied.

"And why were you and the muggle lover there?" Voldemort demanded and now he knew why his mark couldn't reach his slave.

"My Lord, we received vital intelligence, and Dumbledore dragged half the order there. My Lord, we have located Potter. When I tried to stun him so we could bring him back the brat had his elf take my wand and then dropped me in the Seattle DMLE, so I assume we were near there. They held me for five days, then deported me and dropped me into the Black Lake via portkey. I quickly changed into dry clothes and came here," Snape replied and then said, "I also have a warning from their head Auror in Seattle."

Sitting up straight, he leaned forward and demanded, "Where is he? What is the warning?"

"The location I don't know, but I have his coordinates for a portkey. I should also mention that when I was looking around I couldn't see any other houses," Snape replied as he handed over a slip of parchment he had copied the coordinates down on after he had been arrested, "Wherever it is, there is a lot of snow. As to the warning, it was by a man named Vincent Argus. He said that if any marked Death Eater you employ, or if you yourself enter the country, be prepared to die."

"Bahh, are you a wizard or a muggle? Snow won't stop us. Now let me see your arm. As to this Argus, we will kill him when the time is right," Voldemort snarled in anger as he concentrated on his inner circle that was in the country.

Snape held out his arm, and Voldemort pressed his wand against the death mark and felt pain as his Lord summoned his inner circle to his presence. Very quickly eleven members of his inner circle had appeared along with Draco Malfoy. The remaining eleven members were on time sensitive missions on the continent to gather more followers for his cause. He needed more people if he was going to take over the country, and he needed their magic to boost his own.

As soon as everyone appeared in the throne room and knelt before him, Voldemort spoke, "My fellow family members. Today is a great day. For today I have learned information that is vital to the cause. I now know the location of my enemy. Harry Potter has been found to where he fled. Prepare yourself. We leave in minutes."

Conjuring a large piece of rope, he enchanted it and then ordered his members to grab the rope. As soon as everyone had grabbed the rope he activated the portkey and the fourteen of them vanished.

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Harry was sitting in his private reading room with several grilled cheeses and tomato soup and reading ,looking up from his David Weber book 'The Short Victorious War' when the wards pinged in his mind. Setting the book down, he walked to the big bay windows and looked out from his the second floor private reading room. Not seeing anything he picked up his binoculars and looked to the portkey destination and sneered at who he was looking at. Downstairs, Daphne was showing Minerva and the rest of their unwanted guests, the photo albums filled since they left the UK. Minerva actually cried at the wedding pictures.

"Winky, Sherry, and Dobby," Harry snapped out and with three pops the three elves appeared.

"Master, the wards pinged," Dobby said.

"I know. Winky and Sherry, get the babies to the bunker. Make sure Ron, Ginny and Hermione are taken there too. Dobby…" he was about to continue when the door opened and Daphne rushed in.

"What is it?" she asked.

"He's here," Harry replied, "Dobby; please notify the uninvited guest that we have company because of that greasy git."

"Where do you want me?" Daphne asked.

"With the children, Happy and Dobby will protect me," Harry replied as he went to the gun case and pulled out his Winchester M70 along with some ammunition boxes.

Harry quickly slid four rounds into the magazine and then one more into the chamber. His Glocks in their holsters went on his hips with six spare magazines and after he slipped his jacket on he filled the pockets with loose rounds from a half filled box for the rifle. Stepping onto the porch once Dobby took Daphne to the children he opened two more boxes of .458 caliber rounds and set them on the table beside him.

Lifting the rifle to his shoulder he looked towards Voldemort and knew he was still out of effective range for himself so he just watched and waited. He figured that about half way from the house would be a good kill zone to take Voldemort down in surprise.

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Voldemort had landed head first in a snow bank. When he eventually stood, anger flowed through his body as he sneered when he looked around and cast a warming spell on himself and a banisher at the snow. Wormtail wasn't fast enough to get out of the way of the banisher and was banished into a deeper pile of snow. At first all he could see was trees and snow and a large body of water and then in the distance he saw the house on a small hill along with its twinkling blue lights.

"My lord, that is his house," Snape said as he gestured to the house in the distance.

"Well let's go knock and pull his intestines from his gullet," Voldemort said.

"I should let you know my lord that he is married and has children," Snape sneered.

Voldemort stopped and looked at his potion master, "You are sure? Do you know who she is?"

"Yes, my lord, I'm sure, and no, I don't know who she is I never saw her. Plus as I said he has elves," Snape replied.

Voldemort stopped and thought for a second and then started to cast a complicated spell that would stop house elves from leaving the area, using the wards to prevent them from popping away but he didn't know he was too late as Dobby had popped to Seattle and warned Vincent and then popped back just as the ward went up.

"That should prevent them from fleeing by using the elves," Voldemort sneered as he thought of the disgusting parasites that he had sworn that one day they would be wiped out once he took over.

Looking at his followers, he demanded, "Clear me a path in the snow to that house. I have a mongrel to kill."

His inner circle went to work slowly clearing the snow out of their way. It was a slow work because it was hard work to use your own magic to fling tons of snow but a path was soon formed and with Bellatrix Lestrange by his side, they started walking as her husband and brother in law started clearing the snow. Behind him came Severus Snape, the Carrow twins, Lucius Malfoy and Draco along with Crabbe and Goyle Senior. Antonin Dolohov and Walden Macnair soon replaced the Lestrange so they wouldn't be worn out when they got to the house. In the rear of the group was Peter Pettigrew with Augustus Rookwood and Thorfinn Rowle in front of Peter. They had traveled a half a mile when a sharp crack was heard. They spun around thinking someone had appeared behind them and then Walden Macnair dropped to the ground dead with blood and brains splattering ahead of him as his spin brought him behind Voldemort. The blood and brains as well as the deformed round hit Voldemort's dueling robes and the bullet dropped to the ground as the blood and brains splattered on Voldemort's back.

Voldemort staggered and angry turned around thinking he had been pushed and he stared at the body of his executioner lying on the ground. He knelt to see what had killed him when another crack was heard and Draco screamed as his right arm was blown off at the shoulder.

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Harry was pissed, his first round should have ended it but Macnair had turned in his line of sight and then Voldemort had knelt just as he fired again and he hit Draco. He was about to fire once more when Dumbledore, Mad Eye and Sirius and Remus burst into the room and headed for the porch. Harry quickly reloaded two rounds as Dumbledore started ranting.

"What are you doing?" Dumbledore screamed out as he wielded Arthur's wand.

"Following my orders by my boss," Harry replied.

Confused the four looked at each other but it was Mad Eye who asked, "Who is your boss laddie?"

"Vincent Argus, head of the Seattle DMLE. I'm a reserve auror, and his orders are to kill or cripple any death eater and Voldemort, if found inside the United States as they are classified as terrorists by the Government, with shoot on sight orders. The order is on top of the book case to your right," Harry replied as he turned back to the death eaters and leveled the rifle.

Harry couldn't see anyone but he knew they hadn't run back down the cleared path so they had to be hiding behind the nearby trees.

Mad Eye read the letter and then handed it Dumbledore.

Dumbledore read the letter and then snapped out, "How can they be redeemed if their dead. You're traveling a dark path, Harry."

"Oh, do shut the fuck up," Harry replied in anger as he turned back to the invaders that Snape had brought to his property and then fired again as the round tore the side of the tree to shreds and the ugliest woman he had ever seen tried to run to another tree when he fired again and she dropped dead to the ground. She would later be identified as Alecto Carrow which caused her brother Amycus to run to his twin sister and a third round dropped him with a belly shot. His last two rounds killed Lucius Malfoy as he moved just right as he worked on stabilizing his son. The first round shattered his elbow which spun him into to view and the last round exploded his heart but he had succeeded in stopping the bleeding on his son. While reloading he realized it was quiet behind him and he turned to look and found Dumbledore disarmed and hogtied while Sirius, Remus and Mad Eye watched with conjured telescopes the action down below.

"What happened?" Harry asked.

"He tried to curse you in the back, and your elves stopped him. We didn't even realize they were there until it happened," Sirius said.

"Ahh," Harry said and turned around and cast the Sonorous Charm on his throat as he reloaded, "Hey, Tommy boy, you shouldn't have come to the United States. We know how to deal with half blood scumbag terrorists like you," he said.

Tom was fuming behind the large pine tree he was hiding behind. He now knew that Potter was using a gun, and was putting up charms that would stop them. He was about to respond when Bellatrix screamed in outrage at Harry calling her master a half-blood, and stepped out into view to cast the siege hammer war spell. The bullet hit her between the eyes and his most radical follower flew backwards with the top of her head missing even as he shouted out to her not to move but his warning was too late.

"That's four dead now Tom and little Draco poo is wounded. Who's next to step out," Harry replied using the amplifying charm that was still on.

Before Tom could answer, Rodolphus and Rabastan ran forward trying to use the trees as cover as they both wanted revenge. Two quick shots brought Rodolphus to the ground as bullets shattered his upper leg and Rabastan went spinning out of sight as a round hit him in the right upper chest.

Snape was getting nervous at what was happing. He couldn't figure out where Harry had learned to shoot a gun or be so deadly with one. He would have been shocked at Lily's invention on the pensive helmets and Harry hunting wild animals for food. Most of the credit for his shooting ability went to a former US Army Sniper who was also a wizard, and served twenty years in the military.

Canceling the charm, Harry said, "Dobby can you spot where Voldemort is hiding for me by staying invisible and popping behind them?"

"I can Master," Dobby replied and then tried to pop away but couldn't, "I can't master something prevents me from popping."

Harry though about it and he only knew of one spell that could do that and he replied, "Try again but don't go higher than the trees."

"I will try Master," Dobby tried to pop again and it worked as he vanished.

Harry didn't know where he popped to but he would later find out it was in the banished area that once had been covered with snow, where Tom and his party had arrived. Dobby then did smaller pops until he could see the body of the one death eater that Harry had killed when he first fired and then he slowly walked up marking where each death eater was in his mind. He finally found Voldemort hiding behind a large pine tree that was near the road casting spells on himself. With a quick nod to himself he popped back to the house which left a small crack of displaced air which had Voldemort spinning around looking for the elf he knew that had just appeared or so he thought had appeared. His eyes narrowed as he searched the area but couldn't find the elf.

Dobby quickly told his master where the snake man was hiding, and Harry aimed at the tree and stared at it. He wished he had a larger caliber rifle, or some grenades, but he didn't. For five minutes he watched the area to see if any of the remaining Death Eaters would run and then an idea came to him and he lifted the rifle about two thirds up on the eighty foot tree that Voldemort was hiding behind. Four quick rounds slammed into the thin part of the trunk and to his surprise the rounds splintered the trunk instead of shaking the snow loose from the top as he'd planned. The section of the tree he had hit exploded at the impact and started twisting. With snow falling from the branches the top part of the trunk started falling and then he remember that the tree was basically frozen because of how cold it was.

With an evil grin he said, "Surprise mother fucker," and then he heard the snickering behind him.

Voldemort heard the shots and wondered who he had just lost then realized that the tree at his back had shivered and a cracking noise was heard from above. Looking up he saw the snow coming down and then the top of the tree shattered and started to fall. With a quick disillusionment charm he moved quickly towards another tree that was about five feet away and then screamed in pain as he heard another crack and blood exploded from his left arm as the round shattered the upper bone in the arm.

Harry smirked as the round hit Voldemort thanks to the charms on the scope that were similar to Mad Eye's eye.

"Good shot, laddie. How did you know he was there?" Mad Eye asked.

"My scope has the same charms to detect invisibility and disillusionment charms as your eye does," Harry replied as he quickly reloaded.

When Harry looked back out he couldn't see where Voldemort was but he followed the blood trail and foot prints to the tree and then he noticed that the remaining members of the Death Eaters were running down the path to get free of the kill zone. Five quick rounds wounded or killed the following Death Eaters. Peter took a round in his spine and dropped unable to move his legs while Snape too was wounded as his knee exploded. Augustus Rookwood, Antonin Dolohov and Thorfinn Rowle were killed instantly. Crabbe and Goyle were able to get out of the kill zone, leaving a wounded Draco, Peter, Snape, Rodolphus and their lord behind. Neither would escape because Dobby had popped to the edge of the ward line and knocked them out and tied them up when they neared him. Both were quickly disarmed of their wands.

Harry looked around and then handed the rifle to Happy along with the spare ammo. He then transformed into his falcon form and took off.

Sirius and Remus stood there staring at the falcon flying away and both then looked at each other and was thinking one thing. Marauder.

"Did we just see him transform into a falcon?" Minerva asked.

Remus and Sirius turned around and found Minerva, and Tonks standing there with shocked looks and Bill with a grin on his face that went from ear to ear.

"Yes, you did. His transfiguring tutor under time dilation taught him and Daphne the ability," Bill replied, and then added, "You should get him to teach it as a class. He taught them in fifteen months. His name is John Dwight, and he has a Mastery in Transfiguration that he obtained in the United States. I'd suggest you get him to teach a class to the seventh years as it's a useful ability."

"What is her form? As to Mr. Dwight, Albus would never allow us to hire anyone from the States because they don't respect him," Minerva replied.

"Unless she reveals it I can't say, oaths in all that. As to Dumbledore, that is stupid. The US has some of the best teachers in the world turning out a hundred master potioners, transfiguration, herbologist, DADA and charms masters every few years," Bill replied.

"Say no more about Daphne, and I know about the US, but he is the Headmaster," Minerva stated as they watched the falcon fly through the trees and land.

Harry landed and transformed into his human form and pulled his wand out as well as one of his pistols. Walking towards Voldemort who was trying to heal his arm he sneered and said, "It's all over Tom. It's time for you to die."

Voldemort looked up and couldn't understand how the mongrel had been able to get behind them. Struggling to his feet he snarled out, "Even if you kill me, I'm immortal."

"You once were, but the Goblins found and destroyed all your horcruxs, and you know I destroyed your diary in my second year, thanks to Malfoy giving it to a first year student to try and stop a bill in the Wizengamot. They then found the one in Gringotts while I was there. I'm told it was a gold cup, and I believe it was destroyed by dragon fire. Next they found a ring under a rundown shack, and used basilisk venom on it. When they went to get the corpse of the Basilisk they found your cursed statue and a diadem in the Room of Requirements." Seeing the shock on his face he added, "What? You think you're the only one to find it? Please, the elves have known about Ravenclaw's room for hundreds of years. Now the next was confusing. They don't know why they found it where they did, but the locket was found in the old Black manor. It was recovered and your soul anchor was destroyed with more basilisk venom. Now you know you lost your snake at the ministry, but you don't know it was a goblin warrior that did it. Oh, yeah. There was one more you made unintentionally."

"What was that?" Voldemort demanded to know.

"Me. You put one in me when you killed my parents. I will tell you this, it hurt like a mother fucker when it was removed by the goblins. They destroyed it, because they hate them just as much as I now do. Oh, and so you know, they don't give immortality. You still only have so long to live, or you'd see a bunch of Pharos from ancient Egypt running around. All they do is help you come back from being killed so you would have eventually died anyway, unless you had a philosopher stone which you don't, as the only one ever made was destroyed. So, Tom, you're just as mortal as me," Harry said and he didn't know that the Flamels were alive and living in Tahiti after taking some elixir from the real stone and reversing their age back to twenty.

Voldemort snapped his wand up and started to cast the killing curse when Harry's silently cast the cutting curse. The spell hit Voldemort's throat severing it all the way through. Standing there Harry looked down on the body of the man he hated for the last few years since he had learned it was his reason his parents were murdered. The other man he hated was tied up on his floor in the house. For a second, he thought of killing the remaining death eaters, but didn't. Instead he called Dobby.

Dobby appeared and Harry had Happy join them and gave orders for both of them to disarm the Death Eaters, gathered up the dead and wounded, and place them in the front yard with warming charms for the Seattle DMLE to take. But first he gave orders to Dobby go tell the DMLE to come to his home to get the Death Eaters and Voldemort's body. With the death of Voldemort, his anti-elf spell had collapsed, so Dobby was able to pop right out to get the law enforcement officers they needed. They soon arrived by portkeys that Dobby took with him, which would allow them through the wards.

Ten minutes after the death of Voldemort, the DMLE arrived. After two hours of questions by the Aurors, the case was closed and the wounded were being healed in the DMLE holding cells, where they would stay until their trials. The Wizengamot in the United Kingdom tried to force the US to release them, but the US Government refused and they went to trial. All the adults were found guilty of being Death Eaters, and when they tried to say they were imperialized, they were doused with truth serum which they tried to say being purebloods they didn't have to take it. They were shocked when they were told that they were in America and not the UK, and it was legal, here in the US of A. They were allowed their one appeal and they were again found guilty. On a cool April day they were hung in the magical courtyard of Leavenworth. The only one not hung was Draco. Draco was given twenty years for being a member of a terrorist organization, and once he had served his years in Magical Alcatraz, he was deported back to the United Kingdom. There he found that his mother had emptied the house, took the elves to southern France, and had married again. The only money she took was the household and ball funds, and the money in her private vault. The rest was left for Draco which was only a tenth of what they'd originally had, because the Dark Lord had drained the accounts of most of the family wealth. It would take years for the funds to be restored. Draco married a pureblood from Russia and had two children. One was named Scorpius who was just like his father. After Draco used a mild pain curse on his daughter, Bella - his wife - punched him, knocking him out. She then took her daughter, after empting several hundred thousand galleons from the Malfoy vault, and she fled home to Russia. He never saw his daughter again, and his wife divorced him. When it was learned why, he never had another date again.

Dumbledore was arrested for illegal entry into the country. After extensive testing, he was found to be suffering from Dementia. He was given potions that were banned in the UK that helped to heal him. He left a year later, after the treatments, with his mind as sharp as it had been back in his twenties.

The rest of the order left that afternoon; but Sirius, Remus, and Tonks would return a week later, legally, for Christmas. They brought tons of gifts for the babies that Sirius had bought. They would stay indefinitely. Come summer with a few charms on the beach that turned a one hundred by twenty foot section into smooth blacktop, Harry introduced the three to his love of remote control aircraft, ships and vehicles. He also introduced them to camping, hunting and fishing in the tundra, which Tonks hated. Two years later, both his godfather and honorary uncle would marry. Sirius would complete the marriage contract to Amelia Bones that had been written before he had entered Hogwarts, and Remus married Tonks (don't call me Nymphadora).

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Edit By TeNderLoin

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Harry Potter™ is a registered trademark and copyright (©) of J.K. Rowlings and all that crap. The only thing mine is the idea and several characters. Everything else is hers including all the money... Damn wish they'd share.