A/N - Before anybody comments on it, I am basing my Jake Kane characterization on the haunted, unhinged and bitter Jake Kane we saw in the series finale. In my imagination, Jake mellowed out once he brought Lianne back into his life full-time. However, he still lost both of his children, mostly due to his (and Celeste's) parental negligence, so I just don't see him as truly happy. Plus, he's proven many times over that he has a temper.

Also, many many apologies for not responding to everybody's reviews as quickly as I'd liked. Lots of family in town this week for my little guy's 4th birthday, so I've been busy. I promise to get to everybody eventually. I appreciate each and every review, honestly!

My muse is a fickle bitch right now, and I am struggling big time. Maybe I'm a little burnt out after writing the 39 chapter MacGuffin? Just please be patient with me. I promise I won't make you wait months between updates, though my pace may be a tad slower at the moment because of the writer's block. I'm trying to work through the doldrums by writing a mini-fic ('The Morning After') for my old fandom T70S. Sometimes, switching things up jump-starts the brain. Either way, those of you follow my writing know this fic won't be abandoned, so don't get nervous. I've never abandoned a story yet. I wouldn't do that to people who've invested their time and energy in my work :)

Now that you know more about me than my therapist...on with the show!


Previously: Logan and Veronica made up, and he gave her permission to give Duncan a goodbye kiss. Duncan got emotional about leaving Lilly. Veronica brought Lilly and Duncan to visit Celeste before he remanded himself into custody. Celeste apologized to V for treating her badly as a kid and thanked her for taking care of Lilly. Dick remembered the night of the crash and kissed Mac matinee style!


CHAPTER 9

Duncan and Veronica sat silently in the back of Celeste's limo, both looking out of their respective windows as the car drove a steady 35 mph toward the courthouse.

"Maybe we should ask Speedy Gonzales up there to slow down to a breezy 25? No use getting there early, right?" She smiled brightly, though her insides were feeling the strain of the day's events. Her morning sickness seemed to get worse the closer they got to their destination.

They really should call it 'oldest-friend-goes-to-jail sickness'...or does that only apply to me?

Duncan shot Veronica an amused, side-long glance and then refocused his gaze on the passing blur on the other side of the window. "You know, when I imagined finally coming home to Neptune, this wasn't really what I'd envisioned."

She reached blindly across the bench and grabbed his hand. "You were expecting a secret service escort off the tarmac? Maybe a ticker tape parade? Perhaps, even a tin can sculpture fashioned in your likeness in the middle of the town square?"

The car ironically trundled past a recycling center, with cans piled as high as they could safely stack.

"We have a town square and nobody told me?" His blue eyes twinkled as he narrowed them at her. "Well, great. Now, I'm incandescent just thinking of all the time I wasted dragging my soapbox to the boardwalk."

"Pine?"

"Mahogany." He looked at her as though she'd suggested he eat chitlins. "Only the best for us Kane men."

Veronica smacked her forehead lightly with the palm of her hand. "One of these days I'll be able to go out of the house without embarrassing myself around rich people."

She wished more than anything that she had kept one of her infamous 'get out of jail free' cards from high school in reserve for him.

Cue 'Community Chest' joke here.

Sadly, those days were long gone, as were most of her contacts from back then, too.

His face was turned toward her politely, but his eyes were firmly on the flash of trees whizzing past her head. "What did you expect when you came back to Neptune?"

"Oh you know, the usual: Long lost friends cursing my name, family members having forgotten what I looked like, old lovers running from me like I'm covered in killer bees..."

Duncan's hand closed more firmly around hers during a fit of laughter. "Well, none of that stuff happened...not yet, at least. I mean, it seems to have worked out for you...you know, besides being kidnapped, almost getting blown up and having your friend die. Could have been worse."

"Shh!" She made angry face and pointed to the heavens. "Any more talk of hubris, and the gods will have me probed by aliens next. Seriously Donut, they're running out of their A-material."

"Sorry, I forgot who I was talking to." He gave her a lopsided smile. "You, Echolls and me...we're kind of in a dead heat for shittiest luck."

I can honestly say I have no idea who would win that race.

Veronica turned to Duncan, trying and failing to suppress a grin. "Wasn't 'Dead Heat' one of Aaron's big hits? The one where Logan had a crawl-on role as his character's toddler son?"

"No, that would be 'Cold Heat', which if you think about it, makes absolutely no sense whatsoever." Duncan mirrored her smile.

"Uh, hello? He was a government scientist working as a double agent in remote Siberia, building the cold fusion bomb. That's both hot and cold. Boo-yah!" Veronica nudged Duncan's shoulder gently.

She closed her eyes for a moment and tried to remember the scene Logan was in. He was crawling all over his father's chest, and when Aaron threw him in the air, he giggled and screamed for more.

Logan looked so content then, but it was a cruel irony that the only real moment of happiness he'd ever experienced with his dad was a total fabrication. At the time, he was too young to even know his father was acting, that he wasn't capable of pure love unless he was pretending to be somebody else. Sadness ate away at her chest remembering the beautiful eyes of the child on screen, still untainted by everything he would live through just a few years later.

I hope the baby has his eyes...

Duncan raised an eyebrow. "What are you thinking about?"

My secret pregnancy.

"I'm thinking...I'm glad he's dead." Heat began to rise up in her chest the way it always did whenever she thought about Aaron's treatment of her boyfriend. She didn't have to explain to Duncan who she was talking about.

Duncan pensively observed her.

"What?" She looked behind herself.

Do I have something on my face?

"You really do love him," he said, resolutely.

Veronica bobbed her head up and down slowly. "I really do, though that's only one of many reasons I'm glad Aaron's dead."

Duncan nodded in agreement. "We could get a long list going."

"That was CW's handiwork, I assume?" she asked, staring at him to pressure a response. He never could withstand the Mars interrogation glare.

Come on...crack already, dammit!

He answered as if he could read her mind and released her hand. "You're a federal agent, Veronica."

Please tell me he doesn't actually think I would arrest him after almost getting arrested myself to help him?

"I'm on leave, and you're insulting me." Veronica sliced the air between them with the side of her hand, dismissively. "Anyway, you don't have to tell me, I know a professional hit when I see one. Not too many people are good enough to do such a clean job and leave the building undetected. Not even a CCTV shot from anywhere on the block. Only one outfit I know can pull something off like that with such short notice."

Duncan's face dropped. "You investigated Aaron's murder?"

Was there really any question? Do you know me at all?

She hedged, not feeling in the mood to explain her motivation or methods. "I may have poked around. I knew what I was looking for, and I found it."

"What did you find?" He was clearly petrified.

"You have a little sweat there on your top lip." She reached over and pretended to wipe it off with her sleeve.

Just because I knew where to dig, doesn't mean law enforcement does. Who on Earth is still looking for Aaron Echoll's killer? It's not like his family is pushing for answers.

Veronica finally took pity on him. "I found nothing. Absolutely nothing. And that's how I knew it was Wiedman."

He visibly relaxed.

"The only thing I don't know is which one of you Kanes pulled the metaphorical trigger. Celeste is certainly cold enough to order something like that, but I know the obstruction of justice trial spooked her. Your dad is definitely viscous enough to want revenge, and he loved his baby girl... but he never did have the backbone to make those tough calls, did he? That was always your mother's job." She pursed her lips, Celeste's earlier indictment of the Kane men still ringing in her ears. "That just leaves one person." Her eyes settled on his immobile face.

His breathing became shallow. "Veronica, I ca- -"

"Oh for God's sake, Duncan, you're already on the way to the slammer! I risked my life for you, committed a felony for you, do you actually think for one second I would ever turn you in for murdering my best friend's killer?" She was hurt by his doubt. If he could trust her with his kid, he should be able to trust her with this. "For Aaron Echoll's murder, no less?"

Duncan took her hand again. "I'm sorry. You're right...about everything."

I love being right!

A broad smile swept her face. "Duncan Kane, you little onion you."

"What? You're surprised I have layers?" Now, he was the one who looked hurt.

Oh, I know you have layers. Even your layers have layers, you're just not aware of them yet.

She rolled her neck to release some of the stress of the morning. "Lilly always said she expected you to be a late bloomer. She used to swear to anybody who'd listen that you were more than just a pretty face with a good pedigree. She knew what you were capable of, more than anybody really."

His eyes narrowed with interest. "Did you think that?"

Veronica looked at him for a long moment and then twisted her lips. "No. But I'm guessing that you didn't see any of this coming either." She gestured down her body with her free hand.

Duncan exhaled roughly. "That would be a no. Stupid me actually thought that you were more like Meg than Meg was."

"Even Meg wasn't as Meg as you thought she was, Duncan, not deep down."

"What makes you say that?" He looked vaguely upset by the notion that his platinum Madonna might have been tarnished in any way.

Funny, you had no problems believing a couple of the rumors Logan passed around about me.

Veronica enumerated her points on her fingers. "Meg fought back. She may have lost in the end, but she called Child Protective Services on her parents, kept a journal with the details of Grace's abuse, survived a 300 foot drop off of a cliff into the ocean when everybody else perished. And then, after all that, she willed herself to stay alive long enough to have Lilly. She was a much bigger fighter than any of us ever suspected. Your daughter takes a lot more after her than you probably realize."

A dreamy expression fogged over his features and he seemed almost to disappear into himself. "God, I hope so."

Wow. He really did love Meg. At the time that possibility made me sad, but I'm actually really...relieved that he did. Lilly deserves to have been created out of love.

She rested her hand on her belly, which made her realize how famished she was. "You know...if we're really fast, I'll bet I can score us two slices from Cho's and you'll still have time to eat yours on the way."

Brought out of his reverie, Duncan chuckled. "Always with the food. It's not even lunchtime yet, your appetite is unbelievable. Are you sure there aren't two of you in there?" He shook his head.

Actually...

Veronica shrugged, bashfully. She'd had two straight days without morning sickness and was feeling a little cocky, despite her current queasiness. "Is that a no?"

"I'm worried you'll try to eat me if I say no." He bared his teeth.

"Nah. You're not marbled enough to make a good steak. Too lean."

He laughed and squeezed her hand tightly between both of his.

Should I kiss him? He looks like he could use it...but I really don't want to. Does Logan actually want me to or was he just telling me it was okay if I did? Ugh. Alright, here goes nothing.

"Duncan..." Veronica swallowed the saliva building in her mouth. "You know that favor you asked me to do for you...before you went to jail?"

Duncan's eyes widened with realization and his face blushed four shades pinker. "God, Veronica, no." He released her hand like it had cooties and held his arms out to stop her. "I was – God, I was drunk, and Jesus...No. It's not that you're not...or that I don't...but Logan is...and just no. Definitely no." He stared at her for so long in fear that he forgot to blink. "I meant, no thank you."

Okaaaaaaay. That felt more like humiliation than charity, but at least I'm working within my wheelhouse again.

"Jeez, tell me how you really feel." She could feel her own face beginning to rapidly flush. Rejection was never fun, even if she wasn't even invested in the outcome and he was just trying to be a gentleman.

He backed up against the car door. "It's not that I haven't fantasized about it - it's just - last night when I was out with Logan...that was one fucked up brother. I would never...he's like my brother! I just can't afford to lose anybody else from my life. Either of you." He turned to the window again to regain his composure. "Maybe Dick was right about you being rich guy kryptonite?"

The nerve!

Veronica laughed awkwardly. "Can one die of a flattery overdose? I do believe you're giving me the vapors, Mr. Kane." She fanned herself like a Southern belle and tried to make out the mph number on the odometer through the tinted glass separating them from the driver.

How long does it take to get to the center of town, anyway? Drive faster, asshole!

He buried his face in his hands. "I'm sorry. I've been embarrassing myself at your expense so much lately. I am so so so sorry, Veronica. I really am happy for you guys, I hope you know that."

"Come on, how long have we known each other?" She scooted over to his side of the car and pulled his hands from his face.

Duncan nodded with a sad resolve. "He's a lucky guy."

"Some days." She smiled and gripped both of his hands. "And then on other days..." She blew a raspberry.

The car rolled to a stop and the driver put it into park. "We're here, sir."

Their eyes met and both passengers reflexively tensed at the driver's words.


Lianne and Jake walked through the front door in workout clothes. Jake nearly tripped over a slinky on the floor of the hallway, and picked it up, a sudden fury overtaking him.

"What's wrong?" Lianne asked, looking concerned.

"She's unbelievable!" he hissed, and stormed toward the kitchen, with Lianne close on his heels.

Celeste was sitting by the bay window in the kitchen, saving a warm cup of peppermint tea. Clarence leaned casually against the kitchen counter, but snapped to attention the moment Jake entered the room.

"What exactly do you think you're doing?" he asked, shaking the slinky in his tight grip.

Celeste looked down at her cup and then slowly took a sip. "I believe it's called 'drinking tea'."

"That's not what I'm talking about and you know it!" Jake was purple with rage and Lianne could see how much Celeste was enjoying it. There had been nothing between the married couple for years, and she just didn't understand why Celeste still insisted on torturing her lover as if she'd just discovered their affair.

The angrier Jake became, the more relaxed his wife seemed to be. "I'm afraid you're going to have to be more specific. I may be wearing a turban, but I'm not a soothsayer."

Lianne noticed a faint smile on Clarence Wiedman's usually stern face, but quickly disregarded it as a fluke.

He has to be thinking about something else, because I know he wouldn't be laughing at Jake. He dislikes Celeste almost as much as I do.

Jake crossed his arms. "Duncan and Lilly. They were here this morning."

"Yes, you just missed them. What a pity." She gave him a tight smile and returned to her tea.

Jake stomped toward his wife, flinging the slinky which hit the floor with a tinny crash along the way, then rested his hands on the edge of the table and glowered down at her. "I wanted to say goodbye to my only living child before he remanded himself into custody."

Celeste sighed. "Well, then you probably should have cleared your schedule this morning...It wouldn't have been such a great loss, I mean obviously the yoga isn't working. You seem...tense."

Calm down, honey. She's just doing it to rile you. Keep it together.

Jake's face turned three shades of purple and Lianne heartbeat anxiously galloped. His blood pressure hadn't been the best lately, and this was not helping matters. "You did this on purpose. It's unacceptable! He's my son too!"

"Honestly, darling. You're such a drama queen, you really need to learn to get a hold of that temper." Celeste rolled her eyes and then turned to admire the view outside her window.

His teeth grit. "I'd like to get a hold of - -"

Jake smacked the creamer across the table and it shattered on the floor next to Celeste's feet. Clarence took a step forward.

"Jake!" Lianne called sharply from behind him. The sound of his name coming from her lips was enough to pull him back.

Lianne sent up a silent prayer of thanks and approached the dueling duo slowly. At the rate they were at each other's throats, they would both be dead by Summer.

God, I could use a drink.

She demonstrated the 'cleansing breath' they'd been learning in yoga class and silently urged her boyfriend to join in.

Celeste bit her bottom lip to keep from laughing and for the millionth time, but Lianne was determined to tune her out.

Having finally calmed down, Jake collapsed into an empty chair and rested his forehead in his hands. "Did he seem okay?"

"You know, I really didn't spend much time with him before he left. I was mostly visiting with Lilly...and Veronica." Celeste let her sickly-sweet gaze settle on Lianne for the first time since she'd entered the room. "She really has turned out to be a lovely girl."

Jake's head picked up instantly in bemusement.

Veronica was here? Does she come here often? Why didn't Jake tell me this?

Lianne felt every muscle in her body clench with unfulfilled longing.

"I sometimes think about our Lilly, and who she may have turned out to be by the time she was 25. I suppose it's something we'll never know, but I'd like to think she would have ended up even a little like Veronica." Celeste delicately slid the broken crockery from her path with the tip of her white, marabou slippers.

Is this a sick joke? She's never made any secret about the fact that she hates my child.

"Veronica Mars?" Jake laughed and shook his head. "That's whom you'd hoped our daughter would turn out to be like?"

Lianne felt sick at the implication of his words and her eyes penetrated the fridge door, thinking about the vodka bottle she'd hidden in her own fridge. She could almost taste it.

Her eyes glazed over with unshed tears. "What's wrong with wanting Lilly to be like Veronica?"

Jake exhaled a long breath. "Nothing, Lianne. I'm sure she's a different person than she was five years ago."

One tear rolled down her cheek and her mouth began to salivate with the need to drink. Even a beer would hold her at this point. "What was wrong with Veronica five years ago?"

He looked confused and attempted to smile through the awkwardness. "She broke into my house, sweetheart."

"She didn't know it was your house when she broke in." She had heard all of the details of the break in from Jake, and took his version with a grain of salt.

"But when she figured it out, she didn't just leave, she robbed me! She's a thief!" He looked exasperated, but his words still cut as deeply as if they'd been aimed directly at her.

I may be a lot of things: an absentee mother, a drunk, a weak-willed money grabber - but the one thing I'm not is deluded. I know who and what I am, and I know my daughter, despite what she may think. I'm a thief, and my baby girl is nothing like me.

She loved Jake more than her own life, but she knew he had flaws, and a lack of empathy when his own interests conflicted was definitely one of them.

Lianne touched his arm, self-consciously waiting for the disgusted look that Celeste would inevitably shoot her way. "Jake, did you ever ask yourself why she took it?"

"Easy. Money." He seemed completely convinced in her daughter's avarice.

"Do you honestly think she planned to sell it to the highest bidder? She doesn't have a mercenary nature. If she'd wanted money, she could have sold you out to the tabloids years ago." Lianne looked at the empty chair in front of her and then over to Celeste, who just rolled her shoulders in an irritated shrug, wordlessly granting permission to sit. "And believe me – she needed money then – desperately."

She smiled appreciatively at her boyfriend's wife and sank into the chair opposite her.

Celeste cleared her throat and eyed Lianne with skepticism. "How badly could she have needed the money? I had just written her a check for $50,000 earlier that year."

Every time I think about stealing that check I feel like breaking every mirror in my house so I'll never have to look myself in the eyes again.

Lianne wore this terrible secret like a pair of lead shoes for years. She so badly wanted absolution, wanted to unburden her conscience, but could never work up the nerve to tell Jake. What if he looked at her differently? What if he didn't want her anymore? What would she do then?

I can't lose him.

She hadn't planned to say anything, but she couldn't just have him thinking badly of her daughter. Better her, than Veronica. Her child was the only good thing she ever produced in her life, and she wouldn't let him malign her name. "I took it."

She heard a metal chair screeching back from the table, against the marble floor. "You what?" Celeste snapped.

Time to face the music.

Lianne turned toward her with her head lowered. "I took the check out of her bag the last time I left them. That was the same night Aaron tried to..." She couldn't finish that thought, because the memory was too horrific for her to bear.

Finding out your daughter had almost been murdered and your husband nearly burned alive just hours after you'd left town with all of their money is not the kind of guilt a person can just get past. She'd wanted to be there for Veronica, but after what she'd done, there was no going back. Besides, there was no way she would have been anything more than a burden to them in her condition then. Still, the knowledge of what she'd done and not done haunted her.

She deserved better than what I could give. They both did.

Jake shook his head wildly. "I don't believe it. You're just covering for her."

"She spent her entire college savings sending me to rehab and I – I left early. Then, once they'd tracked down Duncan, the reward money was this lifeline, a new way for her to pay for college." She swallowed thickly and looked at her feet. "And then I took that from her too. I didn't know where to go or what to do. I had no money or skills, no idea what would happen to me if I walked out of there with nothing...except I ended up leaving them with less than nothing as a result. Keith's medical bills were enormous." She shook her head shamefully. "I know it's not a good excuse, but it's the truth."

In a matter of seconds, Jake was at her side, rubbing her back. "Why didn't you just tell me?"

Lianne made eye contact with Celeste. "You were trying to get your marriage back on track. I didn't want to interfere."

Celeste snorted a laugh and then took another sip of tea.

"I'm a terrible person," she said quietly, agreeing with her critic.

Jake knelt by her chair, kissed the side of her head and drew her close, which only made Celeste bristle. "You're not a terrible person. You were desperate."

"She was desperate, Jake, and she had a right to be. I saw the video. If it had been Lilly..." her words trailed off as she realized that there had been a sex video of Lilly almost leaked, and one of her crime scene that actually was. "Anyway, if you were her father, instead of the man carousing with the jerk who violated her by filming her, you would have been on her side. She needed leverage to keep the Sorokins from hurting the only person who fought for her honor. She needed to protect herself."

"A good lot that did." Jake ran a hand over his face and sighed.

Celeste blinked rapidly and set down her glass again. She was clearly shaken at the turn of events, and Lianne wondered if the woman had developed a genuine sympathy for her daughter after all. "I...I knew about the break-in, obviously, but I had no idea why she'd done it. I just assumed...revenge. I hadn't realized it was blackmail. Revenge is a waste of time and effort, but blackmail, especially for a good cause...that, I can respect."

Ugh. How was Jake ever married to this shrew?

Jake looked suitably shamed, leaned his head against her shoulder. "Clarence, I'd like you to have a replacement check cut for Veronica and Keith Mars."

Wiedman's eyes shifted with concern toward Celeste and then back to his boss. "Which one of them should I have it addressed to?"

"Both. I want you to send a separate check to each of them for the full amount. And make sure they both include five years of interest."

It was moments like these that solidified to Lianne why she'd fallen in love with Jake so many years ago. He may not always do the right thing at first, but he usually came around in the end.

Jake cupped Lianne's face and smiled. "I know how much it must've taken for you to tell me that, and I'm proud of you."

Thank God.

Out of her peripheral vision, she could see Celeste rolling her eyes.

"I'll just be in my office for a while, if you need me." He kissed her cheek and walked out of the room.

Lianne's eyes connected with Celeste's, and she felt the pressure build in her throat until she had to speak. "How is she?"

Celeste tipped her head. "She's doing quite well, actually."

Lianne cast her eyes downward and nodded as if reassuring herself that the words were true. "Did she seem...happy?"

Her nemesis sighed. "Honestly, Lianne, why don't you just ask her yourself. She's your daughter, not mine."

Lianne continued looking at the floor and smiled sadly. "Maybe you could remind her of that fact next time you speak with her. I've tried everything, but she won't – she won't see me."

Admitting this is almost as embarrassing as admitting to theft. My own daughter wants nothing to do with me.

Celeste reclined in her chair, looking every bit the patrician, making Lianne feel like a commoner. "Not to throw your own words back at you dear, but have you asked yourself why she won't talk to you?"

No, and I can't, because I'm too weak to hear the answer.


Logan was driving his FJ Cruiser exactly five full miles below the speed limit. Normally, the only time he'd be driving this slow is if he were getting a hand job from the person sitting shotgun, but nobody was sitting shotgun today. He did have a beautiful girl in his back seat, though.

Today, he was officially a guardian, and it scared the hell out of him.

"I miss daddy." Lilly sighed wistfully from the high-perched booster chair in the middle of the car.

Funny. I had quite the opposite reaction every time my dad left town for an extended trip away.

"I do too, kid. But we're going to have a blast doing things together, and before you know it, he'll be back." Logan's heart contracted with sorrow for his little charge.

A wide-set pair of blue eyes observed Logan suspiciously through the rear view mirror. "Where are we going?"

He could feel his hands getting sweaty and wondered how a seven year old could manage to put the fear of God into him with one look.

Lilly Sr. wouldn't have just been proud of her niece, she'd have been impressed.

"Uh...I thought...do you want to go to a photo shoot for a real magazine?" He tried to smile, but he knew it just came off looking manic. "Doesn't that sound like fun?"

It shouldn't be this hard to lie to a kid. What the hell is wrong with me?

She looked at him blankly, and he could feel his skittish demeanor being assessed, so he tried to force his face slack.

"Somebody is taking your picture?" she asked innocently enough, tilting her head to the side in question.

Did she pick that up from Veronica or something?

"Uh...no. Just a...um...friend. Yeah. A friend asked me if I'd drop by, you know, as a favor." He exhaled a tense breath and grinned stupidly at her again. "You in?"

"Daddy doesn't let anybody but him take my picture." She gave him a warning look.

"Of course. I don't want my picture taken either," he reassured, trying not to upset her.

How am I this easily whipped?

Lilly twisted a lock of her flaxen hair around an index finger and appeared bored. "What am I going to do there?"

"Be with me?" Logan gave her a hopeful look and tried to work his charm. "I'm always a good time."

"I guess..." She let her head drop back and she stared at the ceiling. "Which friend?"

Fuck.

"Just somebody I went to school with. You don't know them."

Obviously! You're slacking, man, get it together!

"Does daddy know him?" she asked, looking directly into Logan's eyes.

Him? God, this is more torturous than a proctology exam. I need to buck up.

He tried to sound casual as he slowed down for a red light. "Her, actually, and yes, your daddy knows her."

"Does Auntie Vee?" Lilly had a hint of a smile on her lips, and he could almost swear that she was asking him these things, just to see him squirm.

Honestly, dude. Stick with the truth...well, the least descriptive version of the truth. Cover your ass, because if Ronnie catches you and then finds out you lied to Lilly, it will be like taking a shit on top of a dumpster.

"Yeah Lilly, she does, but they're not exactly friends."

The child considered this answer for a moment, and then thoughtfully replied. "She must be really stupid and mean then, because Auntie Vee is super cool."

Logan laughed, and mentally praised her powers of deduction. "Yep. You nailed it. She's as stupid and mean as they get, but I owe her a favor."

Lilly made a face to signify her displeasure. "Won't Auntie Vee be mad if you help this stupid girl?"

He wished for a moment that Lilly hadn't inherited the Kane brilliance. It was like she could read his mind. "As a matter of fact, she would be beyond pissed off, which was why I was hoping we could just keep this between us. You can keep a secret can't you, sweetheart?"

She regarded him with amusement. "You mean like keeping my real name a secret for my whole life? Yeah, I'm pretty good at secrets, Uncle Lo. Even Grandma says so."

Well, if Celeste thinks you're a good liar...

"So...how about we keep this special little secret just between us?" He smiled brilliantly at her.

Turn up the charm offensive. Blondes love you – even the tiny ones (especially the tiny ones).

"Maybe..." She put a finger to her chin. "I think if I had something fun to play with in my room later, I probably would be too distracted to think about what you don't want me to say, so much."

Is this a shakedown?

Logan released a sound halfway between a gasp and a guffaw. "You want something, don't you? Alright, let's hear your terms."

"I really think an Xbox would be a good distraction, don't you?" She batted her lashes at him in the mirror.

What a piece of work! Seriously, how is this child from the loins of Meg and Duncan? She had to have been cloned from her aunt's cells and then hatched. It's the only explanation.

He couldn't let her beat him this quickly. If he showed weakness this soon in her stay, she'd know she could just walk right over him. "We already have an Xbox in the house, sweetie."

She looked directly at him with a laser-like focus. "We don't have one in my bedroom."

Logan tried to stare her down, but knew it was a futile effort. This girl was a pro, and he was a little in awe of her. Skill like that deserved to be rewarded. "I think we can probably work something out. You have to promise to keep your mouth shut about this Lilly, seriously. Auntie Vee really doesn't like this girl, she was very mean to her in school."

Lilly's brow furrowed. "Then why are we going? I don't want to make Auntie Vee sad."

"She'll only be sad if you tell her. What she doesn't know, won't make her sad, right? You don't want to upset her, do you?"

If there wasn't already a nice, comfy chair in hell all laid out for him, they would definitely be setting one up for him now. Logan's own reflection in the rear view mirror was making him feel sick.

He thought about his unborn child, who was only the size of a pea right now, and how Lilly had once been as small and as innocent as a pea as well. The idea that anybody could one day corrupt his sweet pea the way he was trying to manipulate Lilly right now, made his heart palpitate.

"You move that Xbox into my bedroom so I can practice, and I'm sure I'll be too busy playing games to mess up and say anything to her. I wouldn't want to make her sad." Lilly flipped her hair and looked out of the window at the passing scenery.

Playing games? You don't need the practice, Lilly. Believe me, you're all set.

"Uncle Logan?" Lilly shifted in her seat. "You said this girl was mean to Auntie Vee, so...I'm going to be mean back to this girl. Daddy says everybody should always follow 'the golden rule'. That's okay, right?"

You know, I think even Duncan would approve if Lilly were a bitch to Madison.

He laughed as they pulled into the studio parking lot. "I wouldn't have it any other way, sweetie."


As Logan walked onto the set for the US Weekly photo shoot, he instinctively reached out and grabbed Lilly's hand tighter than he'd ever held anything before.

"Ow! You're crushing my hand, Uncle Lo." Lilly pulled her hand out of his and shook it out.

"Sorry." He winced at her expression and dropped to his knees to examine her hand, then shook his head in sadness and frowned. "I think we're going to need to amputate."

"What's amu - - whatever you just said?" She raised an eyebrow.

"It means, cut your hand off!" He mercilessly tickled the girl until she doubled over in a fit of giggles.

A snappish-looking intern shot them both a sharp look and power-walked across the room in their direction, her ass clenching tighter with each step.

This should be fun.

Logan quickly kissed Lilly's injured hand and straightened up to a standing position. "Remember, whatever you do, do not tell anybody we don't already know who you really are," he warned, out of the side of his mouth.

"I know that," she whispered back with irritation.

"Seriously, do not trust anybody in this room but me. I don't care how nice they look or how shiny their hair is. These people are leeches." He ran a hand through his own hair nervously and plastered on a smile.

A school of fucking remora. All of them.

Logan was no stranger to the world of celebrity. Having had two A-list movie stars for parents, almost every one of his actions – both good or bad (but usually bad) – had been reported on for the world to consume and ridicule.

Though he still had to deal with the press during book tours and literary events, they were usually tightly controlled situations. He'd seen to that personally. After enduring the media shitstorm that was his life for so long, the idea of giving out any personal information willingly was about as appealing to him as dental surgery without the anesthesia. Maybe even less so.

I wonder what the least amount of time I can stay and still get the list from Madison? She had better have the list, because if she's messing with me, I will make her even more miserable than she already is.

With dark hair severely slicked back into a painful-looking pony tail, and a scowl that could rival Veronica's most incendiary 'bitchface', Logan already picked up on the set's vibe and it was not good. This was not a friendly place, it was more like a work camp. A place where kids fresh out of college had their dreams abused, slaving for pennies with no form of health care, for the mere opportunity of having proximity to fame.

He couldn't really blame the intern for dispensing with the pleasantries, he sure as hell wouldn't be chipper if he were in her place. "I'm sorry, this is a closed set."

Logan gave her a rakish smile before speaking. "We're on the list."

The intern snidely looked down at Lilly and then back up at Logan again, clearly irritated by their presence. "Name?"

"Logan Echolls. She's my 'plus one'." He waited for the switch to click, as it usually did for people about five seconds after he'd told anyone his name, and this young woman was no different. Her attitude improved tenfold immediately.

"Oh. Oh!" Her eyes lit up and an authentic look of welcoming crossed her face. "Yes, of course, Mr. Echolls. Sorry, I didn't recognize you at first. Just follow me."

She didn't recognize me? I'm not sure whether to be grateful or insulted.

He briefly wondered if maybe she only recognized his name from his books and didn't recall the face from the picture on the back cover, but then reminded himself that half of these people probably couldn't read, despite working for a national publication.

Logan nudged Lilly, then pointed at the intern's back and make the universal gesture for barfing. The first-grader laughed so hard that Logan nearly pulled something as he lunged to cup his hand over her mouth.

Perched on the edge of a wedding banquet table, with her index finger knuckle-deep into the top layer of a three-tiered cake, sat Madison Sinclair, resplendent in a flamingo-hued, Chanel suit. Her eyes grew wide when she noticed Logan's arrival and she leapt down from her position, wiping her finger off on the back of one of the unaware prop guys as she skipped over.

God lord. This already might be the worst experience I've ever had on a set, and considering I once had to sit for a family photo with two broken ribs and a dislocated shoulder that had to be popped back into place in order for me to wrap my arm around my mother, that's saying something.

"Logan! You made it!" She squealed abrasively and purposely too loud, before throwing herself dramatically into his arms and nearly hugging the life out of him.

I can't believe I actually put my dick in this. Suddenly, I have a new appreciation for booze-induced blackouts.

He would have been alarmed, if he hadn't already been anticipating this kind of over-greeting. After all, the Bravo execs were probably nearby, and if he had learned anything from his sister Trina, it was that the press hears those who scream the loudest, because they drown out everybody around them. Most people didn't have the patience or intelligence for subtlety.

He noticed a pair of well-dressed gay men whispering quietly to each other while eying his exchange with their potential star.

Ah yes, the Bravo suits...right on schedule.

Madison kissed him once on each cheek before finally letting him go. "You came at the perfect moment!" She latched onto his forearm with her typical, vice-like grip and dragged him toward her intended audience, paying no mind to the small blonde child standing next to him.

Logan jerked his arm back enough to slow her down. "Madsion, I'm not here alone." He angled his head in the direction of Lilly, who greeted Madison with an almost mocking smile and an overly coy wave.

Seriously, has she had lessons? Are all the kids in Singapore like middle-aged actresses from the 1940's?

He made a mental note to put Singapore on his list of places to visit.

Madison's confused look devolved into ire for a split second, before she regained what rigid control she still had over her face, and beamed in faux-elation at the sight of Lilly. "Look who we have here!"

Lilly's eyes shifted nervously to Logan's for a moment, but before she could say anything, she'd been swept up into Madison's unyielding embrace.

Gross. Duncan would be most displeased about this.

Logan stepped in immediately and took the girl into his own arms, before urging her to climb onto his back. Madison approached the twosome once more and caressed a lock of Lilly's hair awkwardly, as if examining the texture for a possible wig, and used the girl as cover to speak closely with him.

"What are you doing? This wasn't part of the deal," she hissed into his ear, somehow making the conversation look as playful to observers as it was unpleasant to him.

"It is now."

Madison looked up at the little one. "Oh God. She isn't yours and Ve-ron-i-ca's?" she asked with a repulsed tone, drawing out every syllable of his girlfriend's name as if it were hard to unleash the sounds from her tongue without vomiting.

"She's seven, Madison. Do you remember Veronica being pregnant in high school? Do the math." Logan tugged at his sleeves and tried his best not to lose his cool. "You did pass math, right?"

"How am I supposed to know if she was knocked up? I mean, she got around enough." Her hand flew through the air dismissively and continued her tirade. "I mean...like, nobody knew that Meg was pregnant, and we all saw her in her tight cheerleading outfit every day. If the Chastity Queen of Neptune High can get herself into 'trouble', then certainly anybody can...especially somebody as well-traveled as your class-challenged, lady friend."

Logan was shocked into silence for the first time in his life. The idea that she had the ability to say such insulting things in front of a small child really floored him.

No wonder Ronnie was so pissed off about me fucking this bitch. Who the hell does she think she is talking about my girlfriend that way? If she were a dude, I'd have knocked her out by now.

If it were possible for him to be more ashamed of his behavior, five years in retrospect, he had pretty much accomplished that with little-to-no effort.

Before he could think of an appropriate response that wouldn't get him arrested, the child riding on his back piped in. "My grandma has that suit. It looks pretty on her."

Oh my God, I'm in love!

"Your grandma...what?" Madison was flustered and Logan felt Lilly's little fingers nudge his shoulder from behind.

"Oh, not the exact same suit, 'cause grandma is smaller than you." Lilly smiled innocently at Madison. "You look pretty in it too...I guess."

Madison's eyes narrowed indignantly at Logan. "She has to be Veronica's. There is no other explanation."

Lilly jumped into the conversation once more. "Veronica is my aunt, and she knows how to shoot a gun and how to kill somebody by just using her thumb. She's like, an awesome cartoon superhero."

Madison bit down on her back teeth and nodded wordlessly, playing along. "She sounds real awesome, kid."

Please tell me somebody is recording this.

Once Logan was able to regain his wits, it hit him that not only had Lilly heard Madison talking smack about Veronica, but about her own mother as well. His stomach plummeted.

When this is over and I've got my list of client names, I'm going to make it a point to give Madison what she's got coming to her.

As he watched her strange interaction with his goddaughter, his heart swelled with malevolence.

Man, this would be right up Ronnie's alley. Screwing with Madison would make her so happy, and really, there's nobody better at revenge than my girl. But unless I want to sleep in the spare room alone until I'm sharing it with our child, I'm going to keep my mouth shut...about everything.

Logan thought about their baby and knew he was doing the right thing by keeping this secret. Veronica didn't need any more stress than she already had.

This was about finding out who was stalking him and putting an end to it. He needed to keep his family safe, and if he had to play ball with Madison in order to do it, he would grab his catcher's glove and head out onto the field.

"Like, seriously Logan. Where's Ve-ron-i-ca? She can't watch her own niece for five minutes?" Madison sneered with only her eyes, careful to keep her face looking relaxed and happy for the Bravo guys. "Her niece, huh? I always thought she was an only child. I mean, I would have totally stopped too, if that's what I ended up with."

Redrum!

"She is an only child. I am watching a close friend's child." He glared at her, amazed by her lack of speed on the uptake. "A friend who has been out of the country for a long time and needs us to watch his daughter while he's away for six months."

She knows Duncan just went to jail and anybody with eyeballs can see his little girl looks exactly like his sister, so what is taking her so long to get it? Contrary to popular belief, she really isn't as stupid as she looks.

"Who the hell leaves their kid for six months unless they're...?" Madison's mouth formed an 'O' as her gaze drifted upward toward the little girl on his back. "She really looks like - -"

"I know." Lilly laid her head down on Logan's shoulder and he tightened his grip around her thighs. "Look, nobody finds out who she really is, got it? It's for her protection...and for yours." His cautioning stare burned hotly into her and she took a step back, as if to avoid getting burned.

"God, I'm not a monster, Logan. I won't say anything, okay? No need to go all 'Aaron Echolls' on me." A beauty pageant smile appeared and she tilted her chin down in a calculated attempt to appear alluring, then her spiteful eyes flicked up to Lilly's. "I'm Madison. Your aunt was pretty cool, you're lucky you look like her." She held her hand out to greet Lilly, who simply looked down at it emptily, not even bothering to lift her head from Logan's shoulder. He could not have been prouder of her at that moment, even if she'd been his own child.

"I'm Molly."

"She's a charmer, Logan. Really." Madison open and closed her hand to make it look as if she were doing carpal tunnel exercises. He guessed it was less embarrassing than being blanked by a child whose age had yet to reach double digits. She then pretended to hear a voice in the distance. "Oh, I think I'm needed on the set."

"What about my list?" Logan asked, not breaking his intensity.

"You'll get what you came for. Good things come to those who wait." She winked and ruffled Lilly's hair, causing the girl to frown. Then, she ambushed Logan with a smack on the lips, turned on her heel and walked back toward the set. "I'm ready for my close-up!"

Something tells me they'll end up going with the wide-shot.

Lilly cleared her throat and Logan seriously wished he could dig himself a hole to hide in.

"Sorry, sweetie. That was..." He grimaced, unable to go on.

What could I possibly say that would make any part of that encounter remotely okay?

"She said 'Meg'."

Fuck fuck fuck.

His knee started to bounce frenetically.

"Was she talking about my mommy? Did she know my mommy?" she whispered urgently into Logan's ear. Every time he heard her voice the word 'mommy', he died a little inside. "You're making me dizzy, Uncle Logan, stop with the leg."

She grew up without Meg, and the little she knows about her mom she learns from Madison Sinclair? What made me think this was a good idea?

He swallowed the dry lump in his throat and tried to answer her honestly, and with the least amount of detail necessary. "We all went to school together, that's pretty much it." Lilly dug her chin into his shoulder. "Okay okay, what else do you want to know? Jeez, you're like a wood tick back there, burrowing in."

Lilly would not be diverted. "Why did she call my mommy a...some kind of queen?"

Chastity Queen? Yeah, turns out, she wasn't as much of one as we all thought. You are example A.

"Your mommy was very beautiful, just like you. Each year she was elected to be on the royal court for Homecoming and Prom, which is kind of like the kids in the school voting her the most beautiful and nicest girl in the whole world. And she really was. Auntie Vee really loved your mommy." He took a breath and hoped that Lilly bought his lame explanation. Flattery was usually his best distraction technique, where women were concerned.

Well, flattery and sex...but since he's wasn't a degenerate and she wasn't her aunt, that second one wasn't on the menu.

"Oh." Lilly sounded relieved, and he felt the knot in his stomach slowly begin to uncoil. "But...what did Madison mean when she said that Auntie Vee 'got around'?"

That encounter is just the gift that keeps on giving.

The hairs on Logan's neck snapped to attention and the knot in his gut began to tighten up once again. "Uh...you hungry?"

"Can we get ice cream?" she asked excitedly.


Wallace sat in the driver's seat of his car and let it idle. He hadn't been waiting too long, but any amount of time waiting for Logan Echolls was one minute too long in his book. Though, if he were honest with himself, he'd admit that his relationship with the guy had recently grown beyond tolerable and moved squarely within the scope of friendship. He wasn't as bad as he used to be. In fact, Wallace thought he was a pretty good hang.

Judging by the rapid speed and intensity in which Echolls had wormed his way back into his step-sister's life, he had a feeling he was going to be stuck with him for the next fifty years, so it was convenient that they'd finally found some common ground.

That still don't explain why I'm the one whose ass is waiting in a parking lot when he's the one getting the favor. Where the hell is he?

As if by magic, Logan emerged from the lobby of the building holding hands with Lilly Kane, who bounced beside him, holding a waffle cone filled to the brim with a whopping scoop of cookies and cream.

Oh, hell to the no. He didn't mention anything about bringing little girls along for the ride.

As the duo reached Wallace's car, Logan held a sheet of paper up triumphantly in his left hand.

Wallace lowered the driver's side window.

"Hey papa bear!" Lilly chirped, glad to see him.

He looked at her blankly than shook his head. "No. I don't even want Veronica calling me that. We're not making this a thing with us." He gestured between them.

"Lighten up, papa bear." Logan's face lit up like it was Christmas morning. "I got the list of names. It isn't long, so we should be able to get through it fairly quickly."

Now he's saying it? Maybe I need to rethink this whole friendship deal?

"By we you mean..." Wallace looked the little girl up and now skeptically.

Logan smirked and threw his hand forward. "Oh, you won't even notice her."

"Right...because that one is a wallflower." Apprehension was written plainly across Wallace's face.

"What do you want me to do, leave her in the parking lot?" Logan leaned on the frame of the car and poked his head through the window. "Come on, man, she Duncan's kid. You know where's he's going today."

Wallace's expression softened and he relented.

Poor guy gets his life back only to lose it all over again.

"What happened to your girlfriend? She go with him?"

Logan sighed. "Probably hanging a Rita Hayworth poster in Duncan's cell to hide the tunnel she dug to the outside for him."

Wallace chuckled. "Yeah. Sounds like her."

"Just park your car and come with us," he urged.

"What's wrong with my car?"

"No booster seat." Logan glanced at Lilly, who was contentedly licking the ice cream that was dripping down the side of her cone.

"I'm precious cargo, papa bear. That's what Uncle Logan says." Completely ignoring the mass on top, she tried sucking the ice cream out of the small hole in the cone's bottom, oblivious to the sticky liquid dripping down both of her forearms.

"Isn't she precious?" Logan offered his friend a shit-eating grin.

Wallace eyed the girl warily. "You sure you should be feeding her sugar? She look like she do okay on her own without it."

Logan pulled a wad of napkins he had stuffed into the pocket of his jeans and began handing them to her, one by one. "Well, she is sweet."

This is gonna be a long car ride.


A/N2 - WHAT DID YOU THINK?

Okay, to answer your questions before you even ask:

1) I know there's no MaDi, but I just completely ran out of time - this is probably the biggest chapter I've written yet. I promise you will get your fix in the next one and I'll make it good

2) Yes, I really do dislike Lianne more than Celeste, and am working on a Celeste redemption arc. If you think about it, Celeste probably understands Veronica way more than her mother, because they are similar (overprotective of loved ones, vengeful, prickly, devious, etc)

3) My goal is to get a Keith dinner scene in the next chapter so V can tell him, though it may happen another way

4) Weevil love you long time in the next chapter.

5) Duncan has a BIG storyline coming up, so fasten your seatbelts! (Do you like him again?)

6) The only reason Logan mentioned Lilly's identity to Madison, is because she already knew Duncan was A) Back in Neptune, B) Going to prison for 'kidnapping', and C) That Lilly was his/Meg's love child - so he assumed she would figure it out eventually and wanted to let her know to keep her mouth shut about it.

PS - As always big upps to silverlining2k6 for the hand-holding and beta par excellence.

PPS - I will invite you to my son's 4th birthday party if you leave a review. We're having red velvet cake and pizza. You know you're tempted...