A/N: Oh my cheesuz… I don't know what I did to the last chapter that made you all respond that way. I guess because I haven't updated in a long time? I'm not really expecting anything but your reviews seriously brightens up my day.
Special thanks to LaurenKnight13 for your kind words. I know, sometimes I can't help but doubt myself and my abilities but what you said really means a lot to me. =)
The chapter title is a song by Savage Garden 'cuz I think the lyrics says a lot about what Quinn is feeling towards Santana.
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My eyebrows raised on its own accord as I stared at Santana in disbelief. I couldn't even think of anything to say and I was pretty sure I looked incredibly stupid just sitting there with my mouth hanging open after what she said.
Brittany asked her to be her girlfriend. She said no.
That was all that registered in my mind the whole time. She got me so stunned that my head was spinning and I was immediately filled with hope and confusion at the same time.
For a moment we just stared at each other with Santana looking as if she was waiting anxiously for my reaction. She definitely looked upset and bothered and confused it was hard for me to guess what she really was thinking and feeling. What did she expect me to say anyway? And why would she tell me this? I could feel my heart drumming in anticipation once again.
"Why?" Is all I managed to finally utter.
She closed her eyes as if she was torn and conflicted with the answer herself. I felt a little sorry for her then that I almost got up to give her a hug but she opened her eyes once again and sighed heavily.
It was odd in every way to see her be that way. Santana, the bitch. The mean girl who never gives a damn about anyone's feelings… or that's what I thought anyway.
"I don't think-" she started, her voice breaking a little. "I'm not ready. Not yet."
I was still confused at what she was saying and what she wasn't. It must've shown on my face because she took a tentative step closer to me, giving me an odd look. "I'm gay, Quinn."
Okay, that wasn't exactly a surprise since I knew it already but…
"I'm gay and Brittany wants to be out with me and I don't think I'm ready to let everyone in on the fact that I'm actually a… a rug muncher."
That awarded her yet another raised eyebrows from me. I never knew Santana Lopez could be this insecure about herself. In the years that I've known her she was always the confident one who never backs down on other people's threats. I didn't know what to feel on this new information. All I could think about right in that moment was that things seemed to be starting to go on my favor.
That's when I finally got up and wrapped her in my arms, murmuring "It's okay" in her ear. I almost expected her to push me away but she just stayed put, a little stiff but responsive altogether. When she finally moved her arms to hug me on the small of my back I rested my chin on her shoulders and smirked to myself.
This was going exactly where I want it to be going.
I finally pulled away and gave her a small smile which she didn't return. I expected that but it didn't really dampen my spirits. I let my hand slid on her arm until I reached her own and laced our fingers together. I slowly pulled and lead her to my bed. I carefully lay on my side and urged her to do the same and we were soon in the center of the bed facing each other.
I kept my eyes on hers and she was looking at me as intensely as I was looking at her. I could tell there was still doubt and confusion lingering there but the look in her eyes was enough to convince me that I almost have her in the palm of hand where I knew she rightfully belonged.
Reaching out, I tucked an inexistent stray hair from her face as an excuse to touch her. I saw a slight frown crossed her face as if questioning my motivation. I smiled again in response.
"I understand you," I whispered, gently stroking my thumb on her cheeks. "I know how that must feel like. To have something that you feel like you're not ready for. Because you want to protect yourself from other people who won't understand… But I do. I understand you Santana."
She continued to keep with her silence, just watching me the whole time I was talking. Her confusion at my words was evident if the crease between her eyebrows was any indication. I was even surprised at myself for knowing the exact words to say in a situation like this. I felt like this was my chance to finally convince her that she and I belong together.
I just had to make sure to say all the right words.
"Brittany, though…" I continued cautiously, pausing for a second to see if she'd flinch at the mention of the name, so far she just remained resolute. "I don't think she understands it that much. I mean about how you're gonna feel the moment everyone finds out.
"Sure, it looks like she really loves you and would be proud to have you as a girlfriend but…" I stopped myself for a moment trying to argue with myself if I should even go there. By the looks of it I was successful at screwing with Santana's head. She looked more conflicted than ever, wanting to believe my words and resisting it at the same time. I decided to give it a go. "It seems like Brittany only cares about herself and doesn't care about how hurt you would be."
"Brittany cares about me," she finally argued in a hush whisper, but it was a weak, uncertain attempt in my opinion.
"If she cares about you she won't pressure you into coming out. She'd understand that you're not ready."
I felt a little off talking about Brittany that way but it had to be done. She may be a good friend but I should think about myself first and for all.
"All I'm saying is that I personally believe that you made the right decision when you said no to her. You're not ready to be out yet and I support you all the way."
I lifted my head a little, putting on my best seductive smile and leaned on her, my mouth dangerously close on her ears. "I want you, Santana. We could be together and you don't have to come out for me. It's going to be a secret with just you and me in on the game."
She still looked hesitant but she wasn't doing anything to counter it either which I pegged as a good sign.
I lay my head back down on the pillow to watch her fight an internal battle with herself. It looked like a little more push was needed so I did.
"Forget about her." I insisted, "She doesn't understand you like I do. If you're with me you don't have to force yourself into anything. We could…" I gestured our current position. "just be like this and no one has to know."
I was winning this, I just knew it.
"Be with me, Santana." I murmured once more. "I could make you happy and I promised you won't regret it."
She set her jaw, "But I'm in love with-"
I put my finger on her lips to stop her from finishing whatever she was about to say. I didn't want to hear it and I didn't care.
"It doesn't matter. If you're with me everything will be… easy. There will be nothing be that you should worry about. We're going to be great together."
I was honestly losing all my will power then. It was harder to convince Santana than I originally thought. Who was I kidding? This was Santana Lopez. If there would be a master of manipulation she would be it, and I'd be a close second.
I sighed, ready to give up. I made a move to sit up from the bed but not before her hand caught my wrist.
I looked back at her, confused.
"Okay," she said simply then pulled me closer and crashed her lips with mine.
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PS: See? Told you I'm gonna make you hate Quinn. Am I successful? She's such a scheming, lying B*-girl, isn't she?
Thought I write this chapter first before I go back to yet another work week. I seriously hate my life. =[
